Magnus chuckled. “Nae, Kaitlyn and I are just taking beers for our room, thank ye.” We grabbed two more beers and tucked into our bed.
Chapter 4
We had never really watched TV together because what would Magnus find interesting? Definitely not the Walking Dead. Probably not even Friends. Or the Office. He would have no context. I wondered about trying old school like The Lucy Show, but thought the vintage aspects might be confusing. So I chose SpongeBob. I figured it was silly, and there wasn’t an intricate storyline to follow.
I leaned back on the pillows and Magnus laid his head on a pillow on my lap, curled on his side. “Explain it tae me then?”
“He’s a sponge under the ocean, and that’s his friend, the starfish, Patrick.”
“Such as the ones on the wall downstairs?”
“Just like that, except this one talks. And that’s Squidward. He hates them and — just watch, try to enjoy the silliness of it. Oh and SpongeBob works at a hamburger restaurant. You’ll see.” First joke and I was giggling much more than the joke called for.
By the third joke Magnus was laughing too. At one point I paused the show to giggle. “You came forward in time three hundred years, and the best of culture I’m showing you is SpongeBob!” I laughed so hard I started to cry. It was a relief to be happy-crying instead of sad.
Magnus turned his back to the TV and watched me laugh.
He laughed at me while I laughed at the show, and then I laughed at him while he laughed at me. “You art funnier than the show.”
“Really?” I snorted and beer dripped from my nose. Then I giggled more.
Magnus laughed at me more, and we sat together laughing at each other for a long, long time.
Finally I ended with “phew!” and we quieted. “I’m super stoned.”
He said, “If that is what tis called, then me as well.” He raised the beer to his lips and drank.
“Promise me you won’t leave me when I’m high like this.”
“I promise. But you canna stay high tae keep me here.”
“I promise.” I turned SpongeBob back on. “Just tonight, so we can think about something else.”
“Och aye, tis good.” He leaned forward and kissed me, his lips wet with beer and warm breath and sexy uncontrollable desire. He rose, pulled me by the ankles down flat on the bed, and climbed on my body. We kissed for a long time. It was so sensual, kissing him tasting and licking. It all felt good and new and slow and patient and lasted for a long, long luxurious time. The SpongeBob episode ended, and a new one started. Magnus climbed down my body to kiss my belly. Then he blew into my skin making a fart sound, and we both giggled hysterically. He held me around my hips, his stubbled cheek nestled in the soft area of skin on my pelvis. I giggled, my hand on the back of his head.
He looked up at me and smiled, then lowered farther down and blew, making another silly noise between my legs. I giggled a lot. He said, “You make sounds like the sponge.”
I caught my breath. “You’re so romantic.”
Then he kissed me there, for the first time. My back arched, my head grew dizzy.
“Och aye, I dinna know this.”
I managed to gasp, “What?”
“That tae kiss ye here makes ye wiggle and squirm ev’n more.” He nuzzled into me. “Was a secret I am just now learning.”
I gasped, “No secrets,” and then I careened away, lost in the moment, in him, in our room. And after he finished with me, I introduced him to his own secrets, in turn, giggling and silly, and then serious, and oh so feeling good, SpongeBob flickering quietly in the background.
Chapter 5
I woke with an idea. “Magnus?”
He grumbled awake, smacking his lips, face pressed into the pillow. He was sleeping on his front to protect his wounded back. He immediately slid closer and put an arm across my stomach.
“Magnus, I have an idea.”
“Umhmmm.”
“Magnus, what if I went with you—"
His eyes opened, focused, sharp.
“Hear me out — I could help. If you found the vessels, or clues, or needed to figure something out — I could help. Plus I can train. Quentin is buying swords and knives for you today. We could start training me, and then I could —“
He raised up over me to a sitting position. “No Kaitlyn. You canna come. You daena know what ye are saying, tis dangerous. Verra dangerous. Ye canna.”
“But by yourself it’s more dangerous, with the two of us—“
“I daena know if ye can journey tae my time. What if tis impossible? What if ye are lost forever?”
“I don’t think — I think I could…”
“I canna risk it. I have come forward, but dinna ken if ye can go back. I winna risk your life. And if—“
“Your father gave those boxes to your mother. I established last night that he went back in time.”
He pushed his hand through his hair. “You dinna ken how he accomplished this magic. He may have done the work differently. I canna risk it. And when ye are back in my time — you daena understand how different it is there. I would have tae protect ye. You would be as a child.”
“It would be better than waiting.”
“It winna be better. I can think of a hundred ways ye could die, just sitting here, and I haena gotten started with the thinking of it.”
But you don’t have to sit here waiting — not knowing if someone I love is dead or alive.”
“Och aye, you are right. But I have tae leave ye. Tis many times harder.”
“But—“
“Please, Kaitlyn, I canna argue with ye about it, please.”
Those blasted tears welled up again. My throat grew tight. It had all seemed so sensible when I was lying there, waking up, but now… “Okay, fine.”
He tried to make it up to me by saying the stupidest thing ever. “Would you want a party?”
I cut my eyes at him. “No, not, I’m not in a party mood at all.”
“Och aye.” He put his elbows on his knees. “I thought perhaps a party might be a good idea. I am only just here for a short time and—“
“Oh, I thought you were suggesting it for me.”
“I would like tae see ye happy, mo reul-iuil. And I would like tae do something besides worry. Being home again feels like a thing tae celebrate.”
I climbed up and held on around his shoulders, mindful of his back. “Of course, let’s throw a party.”
He patted the back of my arm. “Thank ye.”
“You’re welcome. And I’m sorry about the rollercoaster of emotions I’m on. It’s hard to talk about you leaving when you’re only just now home and…”
“I feel much the same way, the exception being I haena idea what that is.”
“Rollercoaster?”
He nodded.
“Oh man, that’s going on the list of things I need to introduce you to. Imagine this — a manmade contraption, steep hills and valleys, and a small cart that shoots around it on a track.”
“And people go inside this cart?”
“Oh do they, they pay top dollar to strap themselves inside and go at high speeds, sometimes they are upside down.”
“I believe you are making this up.”
“I’m not, it’s fun. Really, really, really fun. I’ll take you someday.”
One of his bandages had peeled up. I pulled a corner and checked the wound under it. It looked better, less oozy, though it wasn’t one of the deepest. Those were through the middle. This mark crossed his shoulder, and I could already tell it would leave a nasty scar. Thick and raised.
“When you return. When you’ve secured all the horcruxes, or whatever, and your life is less exciting. We can look for our thrills elsewhere; I’ll take you to Disney World and Universal studios. Maybe Cape Canaveral too. Want to see rocket ships?” I opened the box of bandages and tape that sat on the nightstand.
“Rockets tae go up into the air? You arna planning tae strap me inside one?”
&
nbsp; “God no, but yes, to a rollercoaster. I’m going to strap you into one.”
“You will be right next tae me?”
“Yep, listening to ya scream like a baby.”
I patted the bandage down and kissed his shoulder. “Perfect.”
“I was also thinking I would like some new clothes.”
I climbed off the bed and stood in front of him hands on my hips. “New kilts? Emma had to get those special ordered. They wouldn’t be here by the party.”
“Nae, new clothes such as Master Cook wears or Master Peters.”
“Yes! Oh yes! But not like James; he wears pink golf shirts. Okay, awesome, new clothes and a party!” I spun out of the room for the bathroom and raced back. “Want to join me?”
“You ken the answer is aye, but with my bandages my showers need tae be more careful.”
“I’ll keep it running for you when I’m done.”
Chapter 6
Quentin came to work that morning with a new sword and dirk for Magnus. To celebrate, after breakfast, Magnus practiced sparring with Quentin and the other guard. Then Magnus ran all of us through some exercises and sparred with us each in turns. I was still a beginner and that sucked. In my imagination I was a necessary part of Magnus’s return to the past because of my swashbuckling skills. I assumed my abilities included jumping over furniture while swinging my blade in a cutting arc because I watched a lot of superhero movies. That had to count for something. Instead my arms were jelly within a few minutes even with the lighter practice swords. Zach easily knocked the blade from my hand. I glanced at Magnus. He looked away and called the practice over.
* * *
Emma and I were measuring Magnus and googling men’s sizes because all his clothing purchases up until now had been for kilts and had been easy — how long from your hip to your knee?
I used a measuring tape and called out numbers to Emma. She in turn called out the sizes as I jotted them on a list.
When I measured his inseam, Magnus joked, “Make it short, there needs tae be some movement there.”
I joked back, “There won’t be any movement once we get you in a pair of tighty-whities.”
“I daena like the sound of that, tighty?”
“Form-fitting. All the men wear them.”
Zach said, “Not me, I’m a boxer shorts guy.”
Magnus pointed at Zach. “Och aye, Chef Zach is a man. You daena like the tighty undergarmies?”
Zach laughed. “Nope, I agree on the movement, especially when you work all day in a hot kitchen.”
“See?” Magnus wiggled his hand toward me. “I am a boxer shorts man, add tae my list.”
“Okay, your waist is a thirty-three. Your chest is um—“ I wrapped the tape around his chest and called out, “Forty-eight inches.”
Emma fanned herself. “Jesus Christ, really?”
Zach laughed. “You know you prefer men like me. I’m thirty-one inches around at every point on my body, like a flag pole.”
“You are much the dimensions of a flagpole, how tall are ye?” Magnus asked.
“Six foot six.”
“You aren’t much shorter.” I pushed Magnus to a wall and made Zach mark with a pencil just over Magnus’s head. Then he and I measured from the ground to the mark. “Six foot three and a half.”
Then we went to Target for boxer shorts and socks and then the local surf shop.
I picked out a pile of pants in his size plus four shirts and piled them on his arm. “What’s this then?”
“You’ll go in the tiny room there and try it all on.”
“You will come with me? I daena know the way.”
I sighed more because of how cute it was than out of irritation. The dressing room was very, very small. It had a curtain that barely closed, and Magnus could see the shop over the top of the curtain rod. “This is going to be hard,” I said, as I pulled the bottom of his linen shirt up off his head and arms. It was a struggle to keep it from scraping his bandages.
But then because his awesome chest was right there in front of me, I brought my hands down his sides rubbing down his abs to the front of his kilt. I shoved it to the ground.
“Aye, it will be if ye rub me like that.”
I giggled.
“I meant, hard getting you dressed in such a small room, but yes, I see.” I giggled again.
“I daena know what is funny — ye have me naked.” He chuckled. “Tis usually a promise.”
I put a finger to my lips. “Shhh. They’ll hear you. And you’re not really supposed to be naked, you’re supposed to have underpants on.”
He pulled my hips close to his front as I pulled a shirt off the hanger. I tugged the shirt over his head, and down over his chest with a couple of quick movements. It was good I removed his skin from such close proximity because I was one centimeter away from pressing my lips to his chest. After that there would be no way to stop me.
I ripped open the bag of boxers we purchased and held a pair low so he could step into it. He jokingly brushed his dick against my shoulder, and I stifled a laugh. “Oh my god, Magnus, you’re going to get us in trouble.”
He looked around the shop. “What — that I am trying tae get dressing in a wee room and I am bumping my wife?” He bumped me again. We both laughed. “This room is too wee for my—“
“Shh. You’re incorrigible.” I pulled the boxers up and snapped the elastic on his waist. “There, you’re clothed, you can behave like a civilized Highlander.”
He grinned.
I got him into an outfit and it was perfect — a pair of jeans and a shirt with buttons and a collar. They were super sexy on him. I wouldn’t have believed covering Magnus up more would improve him, but there was something really awesome about the way the jeans moved on his body.
Except when he stepped out of the dressing room to show me; he pulled at the crotch and kicked a leg to the side. “Tis how it must be worn?”
“Yes. Here, wiggle your hips, let yourself fall one way or the other.” He performed a silly hip wiggle.
The proprietor of the shop, an older woman I had known for years, laughed. “Has he never worn pants before?”
“There’s a first time for everything.”
He wiggled again. “Perchance I need tae put the kilt back on til the party.”
I shook my head, “I seriously think you need the practice.”
“Now I know why the men here are so serious. They have tae think about what is happenin’ with their whirlies.”
I rolled my eyes laughing and we went to the counter with what we were going to buy. Jenny introduced herself to Magnus and while he went to look at a display of baseball hats, she said to me in a whisper, “I heard about the kidnapping.”
“Yes, we’re really glad to have him home.”
“I can imagine, that must have been terrifying.”
“It was, but now he’s back, we’re. . . ” My voice trailed off. What were we doing, planning his next departure? Yeah, that’s what we were doing.
Jenny asked, “Will you both be at the concert next weekend?” She gestured at a flier for one of the local bands.
“Nah, I don’t think Magnus will be here. He works a lot out of town.”
“That must suck.” She tallied our total on the cash register, and I handed her my card.
“He has business in Scotland, it takes him back there a lot,” I said again.
She repeated, “Oh man, I would hate that. I like having my man here where I can keep an eye on him.”
I nodded and signed the receipt.
When we got in the car, Magnus asked, “Those are questions ye are often asked, mo reul-iuil? Tis how ye often answer?”
I nodded as I started the car. “Everyone heard about your kidnapping, so they ask, sure. Plus, now I have to tell all of Fernandina that your work keeps you out of town. I’ll need to lie and pretend that I talk to you. It’s just —“ I pulled the car onto Fletcher Drive. “It’s a really small town, people talk. I have to m
ake sure the talking doesn’t — you know, let’s not talk about it anymore. Let’s talk about how you just bought clothes that I want to immediately rip off your body.”
“Aye.” He smiled sadly, just before he closed his eyes for the ride home.
Chapter 7
We were ready for the party and the guests began to arrive. I loved being a hostess, and especially this way, rich as all get out. I was able to make a sweeping gesture toward the kitchen — “If you need anything Zach will help you.” Toward the deck — “If you’d like a drink, Emma will serve you.”
At first everyone was awkward with Magnus. The last they had seen him was in the hospital delirious. They had visited to say, “Hey man, glad you made it back.” And then they hugged me, talked to me, commiserated with me, comforted me. As they had been doing for so many long weeks.
Because the last time they really saw Magnus he was fighting a life and death battle right in the middle of downtown. Then he disappeared. No one was quite sure of the correct words for, “What the fuck just happened?”
And I had already told them what happened. He was a very rich royal, he had been kidnapped and held for ransom. Apparently it was very common this kind of thing, which is why he always had heightened security. His family paid the ransom and then he had been dumped on the beach.
Quentin nodded along. This kind of thing happened all the time in world politics. James seemed skeptical, but what else would explain it? And Haley had accepted it as, of course, that makes perfect sense.
Magnus talked, he joked, he asked questions about James’s work, about Michael’s job, and especially focused on Haley, complimented her, teased her. Within an hour he was a friend again, and everyone appreciated having him back. Especially in the new clothes.
Because as Haley put it, “That man is heart-stoppable hot. Seriously, Kaitlyn, you gotta put a leash on him and make him stay.”
“I kind of have, what with the whole marriage thing. But also, staying isn’t really an option right now.”
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