‘I see.’ Anna gulped, knowing she must respond.
‘Surely you are fond of me?’
‘Yes, and I am . . . grateful.’
‘I believe that we form a good partnership, both on and off the stage. After all, you have lived under my roof for almost a year and know all my bad habits,’ he chuckled. ‘And, I hope, some of my good ones too. Therefore our marriage would not be as big a leap as it might seem to you – much in our lives would remain the same as it is now.’
Anna shuddered inwardly, knowing of all sorts of ways in which Herr Bayer would expect it to be different.
‘You are silent, my dear Anna. I can see that I have surprised you. Whilst I have envisaged this as the natural progression for the two of us, you have perhaps not dared to think of it.’
You’re certainly right about that, Anna thought. ‘No,’ she said out loud.
‘The champagne was perhaps a little presumptuous on my part. I see now I must give you some time to consider my offer. Will you think about it, Anna?’
‘Of course, Herr Bayer . . . Franz. I am honoured by your proposal,’ she managed to mumble.
‘I will be away for at least two weeks, probably for longer, and perhaps that will give you an opportunity to mull the idea over. I can only hope and pray that your answer will be in the affirmative. Having you stay here with me has made me realise how lonely I’ve been since my wife’s passing.’
He looked so dreadfully sad then that Anna wanted to comfort him, just as she would wish to comfort her own father. She shook off the thought and rose to her feet, feeling there was nothing left to say. ‘I will give deep consideration to what you have asked me. You will have an answer when you return. Goodnight . . . Franz.’
Anna had to force herself not to run from the drawing room, but quickened her footsteps once she was outside in the corridor. When she reached her bedroom, she closed the door and locked it with the key. Sitting down heavily on her bed, she put her head in her hands, still unable to take in what had just occurred. She racked her brain to think of any way she had unwittingly led Herr Bayer to believe she would ever marry him. She was certain she had behaved appropriately on all occasions. Never once could she remember flirting with him or ‘giving him the eye’, as the chorus girls of Peer Gynt called it.
However, Anna admitted, her parents had agreed she should live under his roof and let him feed her, clothe her and provide her with opportunities she could never have dreamt of. Not to mention the sum of money he had paid her father. Why shouldn’t he assume, after all he had done for her, that his reward for his efforts lay in their permanent union?
‘Oh Lord, I can hardly bear it . . .’ she moaned.
The potential ramifications of Herr Bayer’s proposal were huge. If she rejected his proposal, she knew it would be impossible to continue living under his roof. And then where would she go?
Anna realised then how reliant she was on him. And how many a young girl, or even an older woman such as Frøken Olsdatter perhaps, would jump at the chance to be his wife. He was rich, cultured and accepted in the highest echelons of Christiania society. He was also kind and respectful. But he must be almost three times her age.
And more to the point . . . Anna remembered the vow she had made to herself. She did not love Herr Bayer. She loved Jens Halvorsen.
27
After the performance the following evening, which felt flat and uninspired compared to the opening night, she found Jens waiting for her outside the stage door.
‘What are you doing here?’ she hissed. She saw the carriage waiting for her and began to hurry towards it. ‘Someone might see us.’
‘Have no fear, Anna, I’m not intending to compromise your reputation. I only wished to tell you myself how wonderful you were on the first night. And also, to ask you if you are quite well today?’
At this, she stopped and turned towards him. ‘What do you mean?’
‘As I was watching you tonight, it seemed that you were not yourself. No one else would have noticed, I promise. Your performance was excellent.’
‘How could you know what I was feeling?’ she asked, as tears sprang to her eyes in relief that he somehow did.
‘Then I was right,’ he said, as they reached the carriage and the driver opened the door to usher her inside. ‘Can I help?’
‘I . . . don’t know . . . I must go home.’
‘I understand, but please, we should talk – alone,’ he said, lowering his voice so that the driver would not overhear. ‘At least take my address.’ He pressed a piece of paper into her small hand. ‘Otto, my landlord, will go to the house of one of his private pupils tomorrow. I will be alone at the apartment between the hours of four and five.’
‘I . . . will have to see,’ she murmured, then turned from him and mounted the steps of the carriage. The driver closed the door and Anna sank onto the seat inside. She saw Jens wave, then craned her neck to watch him through the window of the carriage as he walked across the road in the direction of Engebret. As the carriage moved off, she sat back, her heart pounding. She knew perfectly well how improper it was for her to visit a man alone in his apartment, but she also knew she must speak to someone about what had occurred with Herr Bayer last night.
‘I will attend the theatre at four o’clock this afternoon,’ Anna told Frøken Olsdatter over breakfast the next morning. ‘Herr Josephson has called a rehearsal, as he’s unhappy with a scene in Act Two.’
‘Will you be back for supper?’
‘I would hope so, yes. I cannot imagine it taking longer than two hours.’
Perhaps it was Anna’s imagination, but Frøken Olsdatter gave her the kind of look that her own mother would when she knew her daughter was lying.
‘Very well. Do you wish for a carriage to collect you afterwards?’
‘No, the trams will still be running and I can easily find my way home.’ Anna rose and walked as calmly as she could from the breakfast table.
When she left the apartment later, she wasn’t nearly as calm.
As she boarded the tram, her heart was thumping so loudly she was surprised her neighbour couldn’t hear it. She disembarked at the next stop and walked swiftly towards the address Jens had given her. She tried to justify her imminent action by telling herself that this was her one friend in Christiania and the only person she could trust.
‘You came,’ Jens said with a smile as he opened the door to the apartment. ‘Please, come in.’
‘Thank you.’ Anna followed him inside and along the corridor to a spacious drawing room, elegantly furnished and not dissimilar to Herr Bayer’s.
‘Would you like some tea? Though I’m warning you, I must make it myself because the maid left at three o’clock.’
‘No, thank you. I had tea before I left, and the journey here was not far.’
‘Please,’ he said, gesturing towards a chair, ‘will you sit down?’
‘Thank you.’ She did so, grateful that the chair was near the stove, for she was shivering with cold and anxiety. Jens sat down opposite her. ‘This apartment seems very comfortable,’ she ventured.
‘If you had seen where I was living before . . .’ Jens shook his head and chuckled. ‘Well, let us say that I am happy to have found alternative accommodation. But let us not waste time on idle small talk. Anna, what is wrong? Can you bring yourself to speak about it?’
‘Oh Lord!’ Anna put a hand to her brow. ‘It is . . . complicated.’
‘Problems normally are.’
‘The problem is that Herr Bayer has asked for my hand in marriage.’
‘I see.’ Jens nodded, outwardly calm, but his hands had balled into fists. ‘And how have you answered him?’
‘He left for Drøbak early yesterday morning; his mother is dying and he is at her bedside. I must give him an answer when he returns.’
‘When will that be?’
‘When his mother dies, I suppose.’
‘Answer me this truthfully: how did you feel when he asked
you?’
‘I was horrified. And guilty too. You must understand how kind Herr Bayer has been. He has given me so much.’
‘Anna, it is your talent that has given you everything you have now.’
‘Yes, but he has nurtured me and given me opportunities that I could never have foreseen when I was living in Heddal.’
‘Then you are equals.’
‘It doesn’t feel like that,’ Anna persisted. ‘And when I refuse him, where am I to go?’
‘So you wish to refuse him?’
‘Of course! It would be like marrying my own grandfather! He must be well over fifty years old. But I will have to move out of the apartment, and I will surely make an enemy.’
‘I have lots of enemies, Anna,’ Jens sighed. ‘Granted, they are mostly of my own making. But Herr Bayer is less powerful in Christiania than either you or he believes.’
‘Perhaps, but Jens, where would I go?’
There was a silence then as they both thought about what had been said. And also, what remained unsaid. It was Jens who spoke first.
‘Anna, it is very hard for me to say anything about your future. Before the summer, I could have offered you everything that Herr Bayer can, and I accept that you are a woman, and that life has far more boundaries for you. However, you must remember that you are now successful in your own right – the current star in the Christiania firmament. You need Herr Bayer less than you imagine.’
‘Well, I will not know how much I need him until after I have made the decision, will I?’
‘No.’ Jens smiled at Anna’s pragmatism. ‘You know how I feel about you, Anna, but even though my heart wishes to offer you everything, I have no idea what my material circumstances will be in the future. However, you must believe I would be the most miserable man in Christiania if you went ahead and married Herr Bayer. And it is not just for my own selfish reasons, but for you too, because I know you don’t love him.’
Anna realised then how dreadful this must all sound to Jens, who’d confessed his love to her freely when she had yet to do the same to him. Agitated, she stood up and made to leave. ‘Forgive me, Jens, I shouldn’t have come. It’s completely’ – she searched for the word that Herr Bayer would use – ‘inappropriate.’
‘I admit, I find it hard to hear that another man has told you he loves you. Although most of Christiania would applaud your acceptance of his hand in marriage.’
‘Yes, I’m sure.’ She turned away from him and walked towards the door. ‘I’m truly sorry, but I really must go.’
She opened the door, but felt his hand clutch hers and pull her back into the room.
‘Please, whatever the circumstances, let’s not waste this first precious moment we have ever had alone together.’ He took a step closer to her and gently cupped her face in his hands. ‘I love you, Anna. And I cannot say it enough. I love you.’
For the first time then, she truly believed he did. They were so close now she could feel the heat radiating from him.
‘Perhaps it’s also important for your decision to admit to yourself, and to me, why you did come here,’ he said. ‘Admit it, Anna: you love me, you love me . . .’
Before she had a chance to stop him, he was kissing her. And within a split second, Anna found her own lips responding, completely without her permission. She knew how wrong this was, but it was already too late, because the feeling was so glorious and so longed for that there wasn’t a single reason to end it.
‘Now will you tell me?’ he begged her as she prepared to leave.
She turned towards him. ‘Yes, Jens Halvorsen. I love you.’
An hour later, Anna used her key to open the door to Herr Bayer’s apartment. Like the actress she was learning to be, she was prepared when Frøken Olsdatter waylaid her halfway to her bedroom.
‘How was the rehearsal, Anna?’
‘It went well, thank you.’
‘What time would you like supper?’
‘Perhaps I could take it on a tray in my room tonight, if that isn’t too much trouble? I feel quite exhausted from the performance last night and the rehearsal today.’
‘Of course. Why don’t I fill you a bath?’
‘That would be wonderful, thank you,’ Anna replied as she walked into her room and shut the door in relief. Throwing herself onto the bed and hugging herself in ecstasy at the memory of Jens’ lips upon hers, she knew that, whatever the result, she must refuse Herr Bayer’s proposal.
A new whisper of gossip began to circulate around the theatre the next evening.
‘I’ve heard he’s coming.’
‘No, he missed his train from Bergen.’
‘Well, Herr Josephson was overheard talking to Herr Hennum and the orchestra were called in early this afternoon . . .’
Anna knew there was only one person who could confirm the rumours she’d heard, so she sent for him. Rude arrived in her dressing room a few minutes later.
‘You wanted to see me, Frøken Anna?’
‘Yes. Is it true? The story that’s flying around the theatre tonight?’
‘About Herr Grieg attending the performance?’
‘Yes.’
‘Well.’ Rude crossed his arms around his thin body. ‘That depends on who you listen to.’
Sighing, Anna put a coin in his palm and he gave her a wide grin. ‘I can confirm that Herr Grieg is sitting with Herr Hennum and Herr Josephson in the office upstairs. Whether he will attend the performance, I couldn’t tell you. But as he is in the theatre, it is likely.’
‘Thank you for the information, Rude,’ she said as he walked towards the door.
‘My pleasure, Frøken Anna. Good luck tonight.’
When ‘Beginners’ were called and the cast took their places in the wings, the tumultuous round of applause from the other side of the curtain confirmed that, indeed, a very important person had just arrived in the auditorium. Luckily, Anna had little time to think of the consequences, because the orchestra struck up the Prelude and the performance began.
Just before she made her first entrance, she felt a hand tugging at her arm. She turned round and saw Rude lurking beside her. He put his hands up around his mouth to whisper to her and she leant down. ‘Just remember, Frøken Anna, as my mother always tells me, even the King has to take a piss.’
This sent Anna into a spasm of giggles, the hints of it still visible on her features when she walked onstage. With Jens’ loving presence below in the orchestra pit, Anna relaxed and gave of her best. As the curtain fell three hours later, the entire theatre erupted into near hysteria as Grieg himself took a bow from his box. Anna smiled down at Jens as she stood on the stage accepting bouquet after bouquet.
‘I love you,’ he mouthed to her.
When the curtain fell, the cast were asked to wait onstage and the orchestra filed up from the pit to join them. Anna caught Jens’ eye and he blew a kiss.
Eventually, a slender man, barely taller than herself, was escorted onto the stage by Herr Josephson. The cast applauded him ecstatically and as Anna studied him she realised that Edvard Grieg was far younger than she’d imagined him. He had wavy blond hair swept back from his face and a moustache that rivalled Herr Bayer’s. To Anna’s complete surprise, he came straight towards her, bowed to her, then took her hand and kissed it.
‘Frøken Landvik, your voice was all I could have hoped for when I was composing Solveig’s laments.’
Then he turned and spoke to Henrik Klausen, the actor again playing Peer, as well as the other lead members of the cast.
‘I feel I must beg an apology from all you actors and musicians for my absence so far from this theatre. There have been . . .’ He paused, seeming to need to gather strength from somewhere before continuing. ‘There have been circumstances that have kept me away. All I can do is to give my heartfelt thanks to both Herr Josephson and Herr Hennum for creating a production that I am proud to have been a part of. May I congratulate the orchestra for transforming my humble compositions into somethi
ng magical, and the actors and singers for bringing the characters to life. I thank you all.’
Edvard Grieg’s gaze fell on Anna again, as the cast and musicians began to file off the stage. He walked back to her and took her hand once more, then beckoned Ludvig Josephson and Johan Hennum to join them.
‘Gentlemen, now I have seen the performance, we will speak tomorrow about some minor alterations, but I thank you for such a fine production under what I know were straitened circumstances. Herr Hennum, the orchestra was far better than I could have dreamt. You have performed a miracle. And as for this young lady,’ he said, his expressive blue eyes boring into Anna’s, ‘whoever cast her as Solveig is a genius.’
‘Thank you, Herr Grieg,’ said Hennum. ‘Anna is indeed a great new talent.’
Herr Grieg then leant in close to whisper in Anna’s ear. ‘We must talk further, my dear, for I can help your star to rise.’ Then, with a smile, he released her hand and turned away to speak to Herr Josephson. Walking off the stage, Anna was again awed at the turn her life had taken. The most famous composer in Norway had publicly praised her talents here tonight. As she changed out of her costume and removed her make-up, it was difficult to believe she was the same country girl who had been singing the cows home just over a year ago.
Except, of course, she wasn’t the same.
‘Whatever I am now, I am,’ she murmured to herself as the steady clip-clop of the horse pulling the carriage lulled her towards Herr Bayer’s apartment.
The Storm Sister Page 32