When the Imdiko hesitated, Lidon’s smile grew. He seemed to be making an effort to appear not so much a hardass. “I only ask because mine is encountering some – difficulties. She is fighting us with all her will. There is also some matter of emotional trauma. I was wondering if they were all so handicapped.”
Vadef nodded. He could well understand wanting to compare notes on the Earther Mataras. Katherine was certainly putting his clan through the wringer as far as emotions were concerned.
He told Lidon, “My Matara is extremely frightened. I suppose that can’t be helped.” He thought for a moment before continuing. “In all honesty, Commander, I’m not really certain my Matara is traumatized so much as simply operating on what she’s been told about us.”
“Is she open to – intimacies?” Lidon held his hand up before Vadef could answer. “I am only asking in generalities. I am not trying to offend you or your clan in any way by asking personal questions about your mate. Please don’t take it as such.”
Vadef saw the concern in Lidon’s eyes. It took some doing to accept that the hardened Nobek was wrestling with anxiety. Who would have thought fierce Weapons Commander Lidon, who had survived having his leg nearly blown off in a battle with Tragooms, would experience a moment of trepidation?
Yet that was exactly what was going on. Vadef ventured, “Yours is having a great deal of trouble?”
Lidon nodded. “We are doing all we can to show her we are not evil. It’s not going so well.”
Vadef reflected on Katherine’s attitudes. She thought the opposite of his clan. Her contention was that Kalquorians couldn’t be evil because her god did not create evil things. He felt a stab of sympathy for Lidon. How difficult must it be to be faced with someone who thought you were inherently malevolent?
He said, “I am sorry to hear that, Commander. Our Matara speaks little of evil. She tries to see the good in everyone. However, she is very innocent and afraid of the workings of … passion. We slept with her in our way last night, unclothed, and it scared her.”
Lidon’s brow rose. “You have not gone farther than that?”
“We have had her do some touching. Nothing else. Not just because of Katherine, but because Miv will not have it.”
Lidon’s eyes widened for an instant. “Of course. I forgot your Nobek’s history and what happened to his sister. He would naturally be concerned about such things.”
Vadef offered a commiserating smile. “I’m sorry I can’t offer more help. I’ve never met a species who called their natural biology sinful. They are complicated creatures.”
Lidon sighed. “Complicated doesn’t begin to cover it. We’re discovering with the other women that no one solution is working when it comes to getting them over their horrors of sex. They are all so different with separate histories and ways of dealing with their capture. Even the psychiatric team back on Kalquor, which is directing the re-education of the Mataras, changes the parameters daily.”
“Your clanmate Dr. Degorsk must be pulling his hair out.”
Lidon snorted. “You’d think so, between dealing with that plus our own reluctant Matara. However, he seems to be rising to the challenge. I even think he’s enjoying it. ‘Nothing inspires the heart like those it can care for,’” he quoted from the Book of Life.
“My Matara Katherine will be seeing him today. She has a stomach complaint.”
“Will Commander Simdow or Miv be accompanying her?”
Vadef didn’t try to hide his grin. “Miv. Simdow told him to laugh at Dr. Degorsk’s jokes.”
The weapons commander winced. “I’ll have to have a discussion with the first officer about not encouraging such behavior.” He shook his head and limped to the other side of the desk where his own computer waited. “All right, Records Officer. Let’s get back to work on these codes.”
* * * *
Katherine clung to Miv’s arm as they walked to the medical department. The other men she saw in the corridors showed no signs of untoward behavior. They bowed slightly as she passed, like courtly gentlemen. They were careful to keep their glances brief. Their expressions, while hinting at want, were schooled to remain respectful. Katherine felt very aware of her isolation among alien males who were not used to being around females, however. Her situation made her nervous.
Her eyes widened as they entered Medical. Katherine had enjoyed the good fortune of rarely being sick. Her forays into Earth’s hospitals had been to comfort others. The machinery she had seen in those places had been formidable in its technology, but it had not approached a facility like this.
Six padded tables lined up in two rows down the center of the large room. Large pieces of equipment with blinking lights and buttons lined the walls. Katherine told herself the metallic contraptions frightened her because she didn’t know what they were.
It’s a medical facility, not a torture chamber. Stop scaring yourself. Miv would never bring me to a bad place.
Despite her attempts to be rational, Katherine couldn’t help but shrink behind the Nobek as one lean Kalquorian detached himself from the small group clustered at the far end of the room. He walked towards them. Seeing her reaction, the man in the green tunic slowed his approach, his wide grin gentling to a softer, concerned smile.
He didn’t look as scary as some Kalquorians. He had a quieter quality, similar to Vadef’s. The man who Katherine assumed was a Kalquorian doctor wore his waist-length hair in a long braid that he flipped over his shoulder with a toss of his head. His kind, twinkling eyes slanted slightly up, much like someone of Asian ancestry. The slight lines at the corners of his mouth suggested he laughed often.
The alien bowed slightly to her and gave his attention to her companion. “Retig, Ensign Miv. Is this your new Matara?”
Miv bowed. “Yes, Dr. Degorsk. This is Katherine.”
Degorsk’s smile beamed, warming Katherine. He had a presence that made the knot in her chest ease. “A pleasure to meet you, Matara Katherine. I understand you’re having some stomach problems?”
She nodded. Nothing in the doctor’s demeanor suggested anything but professional concern. “It hurts when I eat. Sometimes I feel sick too.”
Degorsk took a handheld off the belt at his waist and tapped. “Any vomiting?”
“No, but I have felt a little nauseous lately.”
“Have you ever had children?”
“No.”
“And where is this pain specifically?”
Katherine had to stop hiding behind Miv to show him, but she no longer felt so afraid of Dr. Degorsk and his overwhelming facility. She stepped out so she could show the medic where the pains came from.
“Right here.” She pointed just below her navel, where her stomach protruded the tiniest bit.
Degorsk nodded and tapped on his handheld a little more. “All right. I want you to come over here and stand on this platform.”
He led her and Miv to one of the machines on the right side of the room. It was one of the less intimidating devices, only a metal square on the floor with a thin metal beam and control panel in front of it. Katherine thought it resembled a smaller version of the 3D scanners on Earth.
“Up here?” She eyed the platform.
“Please.” Incredibly, he winked at her. “Don’t worry, you can’t break it. It holds monster Nobeks of over 300 pounds. You’re so small, I might have to argue with it before it’s convinced you’re standing on it.”
He sounded like he was joking with her. Katherine offered a tremulous smile and stepped onto the large raised square with Miv’s guidance.
Degorsk snapped his handheld back onto his belt and tapped on the control panel. A vid image abruptly appeared between her and the doctor.
He confirmed her suspicions. “I’m doing a deep scan so I can check your internal organs first. Just stand as still as you can. It will only take a few seconds.”
Katherine stared as a three-dimensional picture took shape. Glistening pink things packed into a small space made her swallow.
“That’s what it looks like inside me?”
“Yes it is. Aren’t you pretty?” Degorsk grinned. His handsome face grew even more so with the bright expression.
Katherine had to laugh. Pretty? Not even close. Her guts were downright gross, in her opinion. Beauty really was only skin deep, she decided.
Wrinkling her nose at the view of what was inside her, she asked, “What is all that stuff?”
“You’ve never had an anatomy lesson?” He seemed surprised, but not judgmental at her lack of knowledge.
“I’ve seen pictures of some organs like the heart and lungs. Is that my stomach?” Katherine pointed uncertainly at the one familiar looking thing floating before her.
“That’s it.” Degorsk pointed out other organs. “There are your liver, your kidneys, and this long rope-looking thing is your intestines. And I do believe I see the culprit that is making it hurt to eat.”
He turned to Miv. “I need to touch her. Don’t tear my arm off and beat me with it.”
Miv grimaced but nodded. Degorsk stepped closer to Katherine and reached through the vid. Seeing hands coming at her through the floating entrails was a little disconcerting. Katherine remained still however, until the doctor pressed the spot below her navel. She shied at the tender soreness his touch brought to life.
Degorsk’s voice turned quiet and reassuring. “I know, that hurts a little doesn’t it? It’s all right, Matara. You have a little bulge right here. Have you noticed it?”
She nodded. “Yes.”
He withdrew. “You have a little bit of your insides poking through a hole in your abdominal wall. That’s called a hernia.”
Katherine blinked. “Oh. I’ve heard of those, but I didn’t know what they were.” A hole that her insides were coming out of?
Degorsk’s smile was comforting despite how bad the diagnosis sounded. “I need to fix that. It’s going to make your life a whole lot better when I do.”
Miv’s brow knotted with worry. “It’s not serious, is it?”
Degorsk shook his head. “It will require all of twenty minutes of surgery. Prepping will take longer than the actual procedure.”
Katherine bit her lip. “Surgery?”
Degorsk remained reassuring. “Sounds scary, doesn’t it? Use it to get your Dramok to buy you expensive dresses and jewelry. He doesn’t have to know you didn’t feel a thing. In fact, you’ll be able to walk out of here on your own two feet in just a little more than an hour.” Degorsk moved his gaze to Miv. “You can tell Commander Simdow how you had to help me save her through an emergency procedure. Maybe in his gratitude he’ll buy you a shiny new knife to attack your enemies with.”
Miv gave him a pained attempt at a smile. Katherine had to laugh, however. The doctor was funny. “So it’s not that bad?”
Degorsk switched off the vid and indicated she could leave the platform. “Not one bit, Matara. Come with me, and we’ll get you fixed as good as new. Ensign, I will have to ask you to stay out of the operating theater.”
Miv nodded. “Yes, Doctor.” He smiled at Katherine. “I’ll be with you as soon as it’s allowed, my Matara.”
As the Nobek leaned against one of the examination tables in the front of the room, settling in to wait, Degorsk escorted Katherine into a small, private room in the back. It too had table.
The doctor said, “I realize this will be uncomfortable for you, Matara, but you’ll have to remove your gown so I can perform the procedure. I will wait until you are on the table and covered properly before I bring in a nurse to assist me, however.”
“All right.” She had thought surgery would demand nudity and appreciated Degorsk’s understanding. He turned his back to her, fussing with a computer that was embedded in the wall.
With him looking away, Katherine found it easier to pull her gown off. She was left in her underpants, and she clambered up on the table. The room seemed cold, making her shiver. She crossed her arms over her breasts, hiding as much of her nudity as possible.
Degorsk left the computer to come to her table. He kept his eyes averted, giving her as much dignity as the situation allowed as he worked with something beneath the table.
Abruptly, long panels slid from beneath the surface Katherine laid on. They curved up and around, the pieces covering her torso without touching her. Only after the panels hid her nakedness from his sight did Degorsk look at her.
“A bit cold in here, isn’t it? Let’s see if this helps.” He tapped on one of the concealing panels.
Warm spread over Katherine like a weightless blanket. Her trembling ceased as it drove back the chill.
“Better? I can make it warmer if you wish.”
“No, that’s perfect. Thank you.”
Degorsk smiled at her. He seemed so nice, so intent on making her feel as little threatened as possible. His gentle regard gave Katherine encouragement to ask the embarrassing questions that had been bothering her. If she could avoid coming back in here for another complaint, she’d prefer that no matter how kind the Kalquorian doctor was.
She said, “Doctor, I’ve had some other strange symptoms since I was captured. Maybe it’s only stress or the hernia, but they’ve never happened before.”
He stopped tapping commands into the panels and gave her his full attention. “Tell me about them.”
“Sometimes I feel all funny in my stomach. Hot and kind of twisty and – I don’t know – ticklish? It’s hard to describe. It’s kind of like the nausea I mentioned, but not quite. Somehow, it’s different.” She swallowed and felt her face warm in humiliation. “And I’ve um, I’ve been sort of wetting myself. But it’s not urine, I don’t think.”
Degorsk’s eyes widened a bit. His face flushed, and he seemed to struggle for a moment before speaking. “Well. These symptoms, you said they started after you were captured?”
“Yes.”
“Did they occur during your capture or after?”
“After.”
“Alone or around your clan? Perhaps when they were close?”
Katherine thought about that. “I think so. Yes, it happened around them. No other time.”
Degorsk’s smile was as gentle as ever. “What’s happening is completely natural, Katherine. Your body is simply responding with attraction to your clanmates.”
Katherine stared. Shock filled her senses. “You mean—?”
He nodded and looked away. His fingers tapped on the panel once more. “You’re sexually aroused.”
Horror crept over Katherine, mixing sickly with her embarrassment. “I can’t be. I mean, it’s not – it’s a–”
“Sin.” Degorsk looked at her again, his expression sad. “Yes, I’ve heard all about that. What you were taught and what nature insists on are two different things. Your instincts have recognized your clanmates as likely candidates for giving you children, so your biology is sending you signals to do so. It’s not always something within conscious control, especially if you find the men physically attractive.”
Katherine lay there stunned as Degorsk went back to his work. She wanted to refute what he’d told her, but hadn’t she wondered about the similarities to her wetness and Simdow’s? Hadn’t she thought her body might be readying for the act of procreation?
When Miv had kissed her with such abandon earlier, her entire body had felt as if it melted. Indeed, the wetness had gushed from between her legs in a warm flood.
However, to say it was because she found Simdow and his clanmates physically attractive – well yes, she’d appreciated their honed bodies, much as she might a statue or fine artwork, though those pieces depicted only clothed men. But appealing as in wanting sex?
A voice from three years ago spoke in her head: “No matter how innocent your wish to share our beliefs with the Kalquorians, Sister, it is highly inappropriate for a woman, particularly a woman in your position, to actively pursue contact with them. One wonders about your true motives.”
Degorsk interrupted her thoughts. “I’m going to give you a general
anesthetic and then I’ll call in a nurse to assist me with the procedure. Are you ready?”
“Yes, Doctor.” Katherine’s voice seemed far away.
As drowsiness sent her drifting, she tried to refute that she would actually wish to lie in sin with a man. Sleeping with the Kalquorians and having their nude bodies touching hers had been fraught with anxiety. But what of how she’d gotten carried away with touching them this morning? What of her satisfaction at having brought them all to pleasurable climax? It had been fascinating in an intellectual sense, and freeing to know they didn’t have to force themselves on her simply because she excited them. But to actually want to have sex with the men? Alien men?
That simply wasn’t possible when she lived in terror of that very act – was it?
Chapter 9
Katherine woke from her surgery feeling perfectly fine and pronounced healed. Even the evidence of her last scourging had been erased. To her amusement, Dr. Degorsk announced a list of things Miv could present him in worshipful thanks, a list that included the tusks of a Tragoom chieftain strung as a necklace on the jewel-encrusted hair of Empress Jessica.
Miv managed a smile and escorted Katherine back to their quarters.
The Nobek insisted Katherine lie down to recuperate even though Degorsk had assured her she could run the length of the ship by the afternoon hours if she so desired. Miv turned as fussy as a mother hen however, constantly checking on her comfort, bringing her water, protein drinks, alien fruits, and sweet treats that seemed to be a cross between cookie and pastry. He constantly adjusted the temperature in the room, one moment proclaiming it too warm for her heavy gown, the next worrying she’d take a chill.
Katherine found his solicitude touching. Miv acted flustered, desperate to do something for her but unable to discern exactly what that something should be. At last she patted the bed next to her.
“Miv, sit down. I’m perfectly fine. You’ll wear yourself out fretting over me.”
He scowled for an instant, but he sat. He looked at her with those disconcerting purple eyes and blew out a breath.
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