‘You’ll never guess who he slept with.’ She blasted her nose again and wiped her eyes on her sleeve. I should be there with her. She needed me and I was stuck in bloody London.
‘Who?’
‘Only that cow … Ruth.’
‘Nooooooooo!’ I exclaimed.
‘Yes,’ she moaned. ‘I could handle it if he’d risked losing me for someone nice, but for her? Am I really so horrible that she was a better choice than me?’
‘No, Poppie, no. Never think that. You’re a million times the woman she is. She’s the reason I’m here in London, because she made me feel inadequate, you’d never do that to someone. You don’t have a nasty bone in your body. We obviously misjudged Reece, he’s not the guy we thought and you’re better off without him.’
‘God, here’s me waffling on about my troubles, I haven’t even asked how the appointment went.’
‘Assuming they still want me, and my nose job doesn’t leave me horrifically disfigured, I’m starting training on Monday.’
‘You got an offer?’ she exclaimed, her face brightening immediately. ‘In London?’
‘Yes.’ I fought against smiling, the pain was too much.
‘Paige, that’s amazing. God, we can find somewhere to live together.’
‘Miss Taylor,’ came an annoyed voice. ‘Simply pulling the sheet over one’s head doesn’t fool me. Phone, now please.’
‘Shit, I’ve been rumbled. Poppie, I’ve got to go. I’m so sorry, I’ll ring later. If I’m allowed home, come and stay with me tonight, we can talk then.’
‘Please come home tonight,’ she pleaded.
‘Miss Taylor, don’t make me confiscate it.’
‘Shit, it’s like being back at boarding school,’ I giggled, then winced as my nose reminded me of its sorry state. ‘Love you.’
‘Love you, too. Call me soon.’
‘Will do,’ I nodded. I blew her a kiss and cut her off. ‘Ok, ok, I’m sorry,’ I groaned as I heard a tut and the sheet was pulled back by a scary-looking senior nurse.
‘You have a visitor,’ she nodded, flicking her head over her shoulder, before turning on her heels and virtually goose walking out of the ward.
‘Jesus, Paige, you look awful,’ Alec exclaimed as he approached.
‘Thanks ever so much,’ I replied, quickly reaching up to try and finger comb my dishevelled hair.
‘I’d suggest not looking in a mirror,’ he advised, bending over to kiss my forehead.
‘Do I have a snot moustache?’
‘A what?’
‘Never mind. How bad is it looking?’
‘I’ve seen you look better. You have two black eyes, a bruised forehead, and your nose is … I can’t lie, it’s Pinocchio big.’
‘Great,’ I groaned, rolling onto my back with a sigh, then turning to look at him. ‘Should you be here, don’t you have a lot to do if you’re leaving in a few days?’
‘I do have a lot to do, but I wanted to see you in case you were discharged later. I got you some Belgian chocolate truffles, as I figured you’d be forgoing carbs and sugar like most models from next week.’ He set a box on the bedside table and I eyed it up and licked my lips.
‘You think I got a figure like this by nibbling lettuce leaves? It takes a lot of junk to put in a trunk this big. Open them up then, I’m starving.’
‘Don’t ever change, Paige,’ he laughed, doing as he was told. He held one in his fingers and frowned. ‘I think it’s too big, it will hurt for you to chew.’ I watched him bite it in half, taking a piece into his mouth, then offering me the other. I carefully took it out of his fingers with my teeth and sucked it, letting the powerful and rich flavour saturate my mouth, while the look on his face saturated my knickers. He licked his thumb, then swept it over my lower lip. ‘Cocoa powder,’ he said gruffly.
‘Thanks,’ I replied huskily. He quickly shoved the box on the bedside table and stood up abruptly.
‘I need to go.’
‘Already? But you only just got here.’
‘It’s not good for me to be around you, Paige. I was happy until I saw you yesterday.’
‘Was?’
‘I am, I meant I am happy. See, being around you clouds things and I can’t deal with cloud right now,’ he muttered, shoving his hands through his hair. ‘I’m moving to New York, I’m going to be travelling around the world, never knowing where I’ll be from one week to the next. This is bad timing, as ever.’
‘Don’t go.’
‘I have things to sort and your parents will be here soon,’ he sighed, missing my point.
‘I meant don’t go to New York,’ I whispered. ‘Stay, in London, with me.’
‘Paige, I …’ He shook his head and blew out a deep breath. ‘You’re drugged up and emotional, you have no idea what you’re saying. I’m going to go, but I have a proposition for you. I’ll message you later, but I think it’s best I don’t return.’
‘I think it’s best you go, too,’ I replied, a wave of hurt crashing into me. I’d just put myself out there and he was rejecting me. ‘Of course I don’t know what I’m saying. I seem to have no control over my balance around you, so why should my emotions be any different, right?’
‘That’s not what I meant. Christ, Paige, this isn’t easy for me, you know!’ he snapped.
‘It’s not easy for me either.’
‘I’ve just invested all of my savings in this studio, made commitments that I can’t back out of. Don’t you think I would if I could?’
‘I don’t know,’ I sniffed, wiping some tears out of my eyes. ‘I’ve just asked you to stay for me, you never asked me to stay for you.’
‘Because I knew you’d go anyway, Paige,’ he bit, a look of anger crossing his face. ‘You weren’t in love with me, I was just a crush and I could see in your eyes that you weren’t going to choose me, so I tried to make it easy for you.’
‘I’m choosing you now, Alec, and you’re rejecting me,’ I cried out, pain crushing my chest, like he’d just eviscerated me. ‘Or maybe it is just me, maybe I’m in this on my own and you never really wanted me.’
‘Of course I bloody want you,’ he roared, making me jump. ‘I’ve always wanted you, but sometimes it’s not that easy, Paige. Sometimes life and adult responsibilities get in the damn way.’
‘What the hell’s going on?’ bit Dad as he strode up to the bed. ‘Why are you yelling at my daughter?’
‘I was just leaving, sir. Paige is tired and upset and I think my being here is making things worse.’
‘Alec!’ I tried to sit up as I lost my battle to stem my tears.
‘I’m inclined to agree. Thanks for all of your help with her, I really appreciate it, but I think she needs to rest now,’ Dad replied, shaking his hand.
‘Bye, Paige,’ Alec sighed, throwing a quick glance in my direction before turning to walk away.
‘Alec!’ I shouted, but this time he didn’t turn around and I started sobbing uncontrollably as the last forty-eight hours and the pain in my nose, and my heart, hit me.
A Pain In The Neck
June
‘See you tomorrow, Poppie,’ I called as I rushed to the front door with a piece of toast between my teeth and a travel mug of black coffee in my hand.
‘Hey, not so fast,’ she yelled, appearing in her bedroom doorway. ‘You’re not coming home tonight?’
‘No,’ I mumbled as I took a bite and looked for my keys.
‘No way! After eight months of dating, you’re finally going to do it?’ she giggled, pelvic thrusting to hammer home her point.
‘You’re so crude,’ I laughed, swallowing the last of my breakfast. ‘I didn’t want to rush it, but it’s been long enough. I haven’t had sex in nearly a year and I need sex.’
‘Tell me about it, I have to listen to the various symphonies of your army of plastic boyfriends most nights. You really need to ask our landlord to put in some decent-quality soundproofing.’
‘Like I’d ask him that,’ I s
coffed.
‘Are you still not over him?’ Poppie asked, a serious expression settling on her face.
‘Can we save the complicated questions for when you grill me tomorrow please?’ I pleaded.
‘This Marc better blow your mind, Paige, because someone needs to pull you out of this Alec fantasy you’ve been living in from the moment you met him. Tomorrow, sofa, wine, Chinese, chocolate, we’re talking,’ she warned with a pointed finger. I rolled my eyes and blew her a kiss.
‘Got to go, photo shoot, can’t be late.’ I rushed out, with her yelling something about moving on to me.
I sighed as I pressed the button for the elevator. I’d been devastated when Alec left the hospital last year. I hadn’t seen him since, but true to his word, he’d sent me a message that night. His proposition had been a financial one, for me to rent his apartment here in London. He’d offered me a really fair deal, so I was saving loads of money and he was making some with someone he knew and trusted to look after the place. Our messages to set it up, and for me to ask if Poppie could move in too, giving him more income, had been polite and courteous, nothing more. I’d have liked to have been in a position to not accept his help, to cut all ties so I could try and get over this infatuation I had with him, but I’d underestimated how expensive properties in London were. His two bedroomed apartment was immaculate, in a great, safe area in London, around the corner from the agency, and came with parking for Fi-Fi. Poppie and I would have had to live right on the outskirts without his assistance, and we’d have paid a fortune in travel costs. My career was starting to pick up, but I was a long way from being able to afford paying big bucks for a house.
The trouble was I hadn’t got over him. I was living in his house, sleeping in his bed, using his shower. Everywhere I turned, even without pictures of him, there were reminders. Jean-Claude, my self-appointed mentor and agent, was one of his best friends and kept in regular contact with him. Sometimes he’d let slip that he’d been to dinner with Alec and that he was having the time of his life, enjoying being single, serial dating some of the top models out there. It seemed that he was having fun, that he had no intention of settling down, which was so far from the Alec I’d known, the Alec I’d wanted.
I wondered if he really was the man for me after all, but my heart hadn’t got the message. I still wanted him, and Jean-Claude had no idea how much it cut me up inside to hear his stories about Alec, because I’d shared it with no one. Not even Poppie. I was faking it every day, even with my boyfriend Marc. I’d been on a kind of rebound, feeling low about Alec leaving, when I agreed to start dating him. He was a male model from the agency, great looking with a fabulous body, but … same old story, he wasn’t Alec. I’d persevered, hoping in time he’d grow on me more and more, until yesterday I’d asked if I could sleep over tonight, figuring maybe sex would clinch the deal. If I had really great sex with him, he could literally screw Alec, as well as me, out of my mind.
‘I know, I know, I’m cutting it fine. I had to pack an overnight bag at the last minute. I promise I’m not going to turn into a diva,’ I laughed as I stepped out of the car to find Jean-Claude waiting for me.
‘I promise I’d turn into Jean-Claude Van Damme and kick that perfect rump of mine if you did,’ he grinned, looping arms with me and kissing my cheek.
‘First of all, it’s mine, not yours, and it’s not a rump. At least call it a derrière, use a little of your French sophistication and class. I mean, I don’t even get a kiss on each cheek.’
‘I’ve lived in London longer than France,’ he reminded me.
‘Why would you leave Paris?’ I asked, completely perplexed. I’d only done a couple of shoots there, but I’d fallen in love with it.
‘Why would you leave London? You fall for a city’s charms because it’s something new and exotic. People around the world romanticise living in a foreign city or country, but home is wherever your heart is. Pascal wanted to move to London when we fell in love, and where Pascal goes, so my heart follows.’
‘I’d never have pegged you for a romantic that first day I met you,’ I smiled.
‘And I’d never have pegged you for a confident, skilled model, let alone the sexy woman you’re turning into. Sometimes people can surprise you if you give them a chance.’
‘They really can,’ I agreed. ‘But I owe it all to you. If you hadn’t taken a chance on me, taken me under your wing, I’d never have made it. I’d have been chewed up and spat out. People are too scared of you to cross me.’
‘You owe it to Alec. He saw the potential, I just shaped it.’
‘Who’s the photographer today?’ I asked, steering the conversation away from Alec for the second time that day.
‘Why do you avoid any discussion about him? Have you not forgiven him yet?’ Jean-Claude sighed.
‘Of course I have, I was being unreasonable that day.’
‘Does he know that you’ve forgiven him? He was really hurt at the way things were left.’
‘He knows. He knows, right?’ I asked, frowning at Jean-Claude.
‘I don’t think he does, Paige. Maybe you should tell him. He still asks me if I think he made a mistake.’
‘No, he was right to leave. I was tired, emotional, and needy, and I had no right to ask him to stay, not when he was already taken and making plans to settle down in a new city.’
‘So you didn’t mean it?’
‘I meant it, I was just out of order. Rubbish timing, as usual.’
‘But you’re happy now? With Marc?’
‘I am,’ I said firmly, making sure not to look at him and give myself away.
‘You’re a terrible liar, Paige Taylor,’ he laughed. ‘You have a bad neck this morning, I take it?’
‘No, why?’ I asked, giving him a puzzled look.
‘Aren’t you and Marc doing it yet?’ He wiggled his eyebrows as he mimicked thrusting his fingers.
‘Actually no, I didn’t want to rush it.’
‘You’ve been dating for eight months, Paige!’ He looked around, then leaned in and whispered in my ear. ‘Are you frigid?’
‘No!’ I replied, thumping his arm.
‘Vagijawsitis?’
‘What the hell is vagijawsitis?’
‘Where your piranha vagina is so tight, it bites off his head. It puts a lot of women and men off, so I hear.’
‘That’s not a real word, surely?’ I laughed.
‘It’s vagi-something. I have no idea, I’m all about cock, darling. So what’s the problem?’
‘He’s great, but I’m just cautious. If it makes you feel any better, tonight is the night.’
‘You have a shoot tomorrow,’ he advised, flashing me a concerned glance.
‘I’ll be fine, I promise not to be up all night.’
‘Hmmmm,’ he frowned.
‘Ok, what’s wrong?’
‘O, look, Dominic’s in hair and makeup already, go and get changed. See you in there.’ He darted off, making me chuckle. Dominic McQueen was a well-known male model, gorgeous looking, with the most unusual amber eyes. We were shooting a swimwear campaign together for the next few days. Sadly he wasn’t into women, a fact that wasn’t lost on Jean-Claude, who went to pieces every time Dom was on set. Jean-Claude was madly in love with his partner Pascal, but even I could see Dom’s appeal. I doubted many people would say no if he clicked his fingers and asked them to join him for the night.
I slipped into the white bikini, covered up with a dressing gown, and headed to hair and makeup. I still couldn’t believe that this was my life. Two months of nightly training sessions with Jean-Claude had paid off. I had so much more confidence, and instead of feeling like a klutz most of the time, I now felt like a sexy, desirable woman. I’d been taught how to hold myself, different positions to make my body look its best, angles to ensure the light hit my face correctly to show off my best features, and a proper walk for fashion shows. Obviously I was still learning something every day, but I had enough skills to not compl
etely frustrate photographers and to ensure I’d be booked for jobs I went on castings for. Jean-Claude had told me that my name was already getting out there, that if I continued to do well, I’d be called for jobs, instead of auditioning for them.
My curves meant I was unlikely to ever hit the heights of a runway supermodel, but it was a growing industry. More women were rebelling against the slim, airbrushed image of perfection the media perpetrated. They wanted real women that they could relate to, and that, said Jean-Claude, was where my appeal lay. I was in a world that most girls only dreamed of. I was looked after with mani-pedis, facials, body scrubs, wraps, haircuts, colours, and treatments. I’d be having spray tans too if it wasn’t for my Caribbean colour that hadn’t yet faded. My main speciality was swimwear and lingerie, and I got to keep some of those items. I’d travelled to Paris a few times and was due to go to Tokyo next month. It was fast paced and exciting.
And, if all of that wasn’t enough, I had my best friend here with me to share the ride. Poppie had been devastated at Reece’s betrayal of her, but she’d decided that dating was like riding a horse and that she needed to get back in the saddle as soon as possible or she could be put off for life. She was casually dating, seeing a few guys at once for drinks, meals, and dancing, nothing serious and no sex. She’d decided that until she found a guy that she wanted to see exclusively, that was as far as she was taking anything. She’d secured a full-time job working in administration for the Home Office and was taking evening classes for her bilingual secretarial diploma. Being in London was amazing. We had a whole new world of cuisine, fashion, and culture to explore, and we were making the most of it. We were rarely in. While my metabolism had always handled me eating what I wanted and not putting on weight, I had started going to a gym around the corner to make sure I stayed toned and in shape. My new career depended on it. A career I owed to Alec. I closed my eyes for a second as I thought of him, then picked up my phone. It was the middle of the night in New York, but I needed to clear my conscience.
Until We Collide Page 9