I’d sent Jean-Claude an email, left Poppie a letter, and recorded a brief message on my parents’ answering machine, then I’d fled, leaving my phone behind. I just wanted a time out, away from work, away from everything, to recharge and re-evaluate my personal life. I was going to lose some modelling jobs and let down some clients, but it couldn’t be helped. I hadn’t had a vacation in forever and with all of the inevitable media attention after my relationship with Flash and my naked roof experience, it was as good a time as any to escape. I had to accept that my dream of Alec and me finally colliding was never going to happen, and being alone to deal with that was what I needed. As long as I was back in time for Poppie’s wedding, everything else could wait.
I headed indoors to get the frozen watermelon chunks I’d prepared this morning out of the freezer. I took them back out to the pool to feast on as I soaked up the sun. The weather was glorious, my natural tan was quickly developing, and I’d already had three weeks to mull over my life and make some decisions, the biggest one being that my dating days were over. I couldn’t take any more disasters, especially not from men I’d grown close to that had let me down so badly. My heart couldn’t take any more breakages. There were only so many times you could glue something back together before another fracture rendered it useless. Marriage was never going to be in the cards for me, but that didn’t mean a family couldn’t be. I’d already looked up a number of highly respected donor clinics in London, and that was going to be first on my agenda when I got home, along with looking for my own house. A house I could bring up a daughter or son in. The thought made me smile. It might not be the way I thought I was going to have a child, but having a baby was all that mattered. Someone to love unconditionally, something that was all mine.
I pulled my hair back and adjusted my bikini, then grabbed my mask and snorkel and headed down the steps to my own private section of beach, lined with palm trees. The swimming pool was amazing, but nothing beat swimming in the ocean and watching all the brightly coloured fish, turtles, and the odd stingray lazily swimming below me. I felt bad that I’d been here for so long and not looked up Toby, but it had been nearly ten years since we’d dated. It was a lifetime ago, just like my relationship with Alec. It was time to leave the past behind and move on with a new phase of my life. If I was going to become a mother, I’d need to cut back on my modelling, make sure I gave my baby all the time, love, and attention it was going to need. I didn’t need to work anymore, but it would be nice to keep my hand in as long as the industry wanted me. I waded out into the water, pulled on my mask, bit down on my snorkel, and started swimming further away from the shore. I lost track of time as I bobbed around in the water, delighting in the sights I was seeing. I sat up to tread water and removed my snorkel as I sucked in a lungful of air. I frowned as I heard the unmistakable sound of my name being yelled. I looked around, back at the shoreline, to see someone jumping up and down on my veranda, waving frantically. I squinted in the sunlight. Was that Jean-Claude? What was he doing here, and more to the point, how had he found me?
‘Paige, get out of the water!’
‘What?’
‘Get out, now. Jellyfish!’ he screamed. My blood ran cold. Although no jellyfish sting was pleasant, one from a box jellyfish could be deadly.
‘Where?’ I yelled, not sure what direction to move in.
‘Behind you, moving towards you fast. Swim!’
I didn’t need any more encouragement. I put my face down into the water and started to power back to the shore, thankful I was a strong swimmer. I tilted my face for air every three strokes, just the way Toby had taught me to do to make me a better swimmer when I lived out here. There was no point looking behind me, or up at Jean-Claude, it would only slow me down and I couldn’t swim any faster than I already was. I cried out as I felt something wrap around my lower leg and a burning pain shoot through it, but I kept on going. I was so close to the shore, I couldn’t stop. I nearly cried as I felt my feet hitting sand and stumbled as I dragged myself up and tried to wade as fast as I could, feeling another sting on my other leg.
‘Hurry, Paige, hurry,’ urged Jean-Claude, who’d made it down to the beach and was standing back from the waves lapping at the dry, golden sand. I looked over my shoulder and gasped. The water was filled with them, I’d never seen so many. The burning in my legs was intense, but I wasn’t feeling any other side effects. I had to hope I was lucky and this wasn’t a deadly variety. I limped out of the water and used my last bit of strength to run up the sand, collapsing face first at Jean-Claude’s feet. ‘O my God, are you dead?’ he exclaimed.
‘I feel like I am. My arms and legs ache, my lungs are burning, and I’ve been stung,’ I moaned, spitting some sand out of my mouth. I quickly rolled onto my back, my eyes wide with horror as I heard the unmistakable sound of a zip being undone. ‘What are you doing?’
‘I need to pee on you. It’s a well-known fact that urine helps a jellyfish sting.’
‘Put your todger away,’ I gasped. ‘You are not peeing on me! There’s no scientific evidence that it helps. Go to the kitchen and grab the balsamic vinegar.’
‘You want me to make you a salad? Shouldn’t I be ringing for an ambulance?’
‘Vinegar helps a sting, Toby used to use it. Please hurry, it hurts like hell and I’m too tired to move.’
‘I’m not leaving you here. What if they come out of the water after you? I shall carry you up the stairs and into the house.’
‘Come out of the water? What jellyfish horror movie have you been watching? They don’t have legs.’
‘You won’t have legs if I don’t get you treated, those welts look nasty,’ he observed as he crouched down and I put my weary arms around his neck. He lifted me up and shook his head as he looked down at me. ‘Always in trouble, Paige Taylor. You will be the death of me one day. Running off without telling anyone where you’re going and nearly being eaten alive. When will you stop testing my patience?’
‘I’m sorry, I just needed a break,’ I sighed, flopping my head against his chest.
‘Then you tell me you need a break,’ he said softly. ‘You don’t run away. I’ve been worried sick, Poppie too.’
‘How did you find me?’
‘Please, there’s nowhere in the world a famous model can sneak off to without someone posting online they’ve seen her. Someone in the hotel must have leaked the news as it was all over the internet yesterday that you’d surfaced here.’
‘You’ve come to drag me back to work?’
‘No, I’ve come to be with my friend who’s obviously having a rough time. Sssshhhh, darling. No more talk for now, we need to get you treated. We’ll have time for talk later.’ He dipped his head and kissed my forehead, making tears form behind my eyes. I should just have been honest with him that I needed a time out, instead of running away like that.
‘Owwww,’ I moaned, as he misjudged the angle of the white wooden gate onto my veranda and nearly knocked me out on the gate post. I heard excited yaps and tried to look down as we skirted the swimming pool. ‘You’ve brought Chi-Chi with you?’ I asked.
‘Pascal is in Venice working, and I was not leaving Chi-Chi with the dog sitter for a week,’ he replied. We both screamed as Jean-Claude staggered and lurched sideways, catapulting us both into the pool. I quickly took a breath of air before I hit the water with a smack, went under, and came back up to the surface. Jean-Claude popped up beside me screaming. ‘I can’t swim, help me! I’m drowning!’
‘You’re in the shallow end,’ I giggled, standing up to prove it as he floundered. His face turned red as his arms stopped flapping and he slowly rose up, fully clothed, his linen suit ruined. ‘You can’t swim? That’s something we’re going to rectify this week. What just happened?’
‘Chi-Chi got under my feet, the little monkey. Where is he?’ he asked as he searched the edge of the pool. He let out another scream as he looked behind me and covered his mouth with his hands. I quickly looked around to see Chi-C
hi in the water, struggling to keep afloat as his little legs paddled for dear life. I was exhausted, my legs were burning with pain like I’d never felt before, my temple was throbbing from where I’d just been bashed, but the damn chihuahua had made it over to the deep end, so I was the only one who could rescue him. I started swimming towards him as he let out a few barks and slowly started to sink, with Jean-Claude frantically crying in the background. Three weeks on my own with no disasters and now look at me. Chi-Chi sank as I got closer, so I went under and twisted onto my back, coming up under him and cradling him to my stomach as I kicked for the surface. Using one arm, I struck out for the side and lifted him up, carefully lying him down on the warm tiled floor as Jean-Claude came running over and dropped to his knees beside him. ‘He’s not breathing, Paige, he’s not breathing. What do I do?’ he howled.
‘I really don’t believe this,’ I uttered as I used every last ounce of strength to haul myself out of the water. I rolled over, sat up, and grabbed Chi-Chi’s back legs, lifting him in the air and shaking him a few times until a stream of water came out of his mouth. I then lay him on his side and felt for a heartbeat, relieved I could still feel one. A shudder ran through me as I parted his mouth with one hand, ignoring his pink floppy tongue hanging over the edge of his tiny razor-sharp teeth and the ripe odour of doggie breath as I gave him mouth to mouth. After a few breaths, his legs started to move and before I knew it, he was licking my lips with all of the enthusiasm and vigour of TJ the chin sucker.
‘Paige, you saved him, you saved him,’ Jean-Claude sobbed, throwing his arms around me as Chi-Chi leapt up and started yapping as if nothing had happened. ‘How can I ever thank you?’
‘By getting me that vinegar and ringing the doctor,’ I replied, patting his back as I tried to wipe the doggie drool off my face. ‘I think you’d better ring a vet as well to check him over.’
I lay on the recliner, looking up at the thousands of sparkling stars, with my sore legs raised and a plaster on the cut on my head, while Jean-Claude chatted to the butler who’d come to clear away our room service meal. Chi-Chi was fast asleep on the sofa inside, no worse for wear after his ordeal. Jean-Claude appeared and handed me a glass of iced water before laying down on the sun lounger next to me with a glass of white wine.
‘Now we talk,’ he advised. ‘Why did you run away?’
‘Why do you think?’ I laughed. ‘My personal life is a disaster. Of the last two men I kissed, one is awaiting trial for indecent exposure and the other is a small canine in serious need of some doggie breath mints. He’s never going to impregnate anyone with breath like that.’
‘His breath does not smell.’
‘Then you go and give him mouth to mouth if you love him so much.’
‘I love you, Paige. Talk to me, running away doesn’t change your life.’
‘No, but it gives me some perspective. I’m just not destined to be in a relationship, I’ve accepted that now.’
‘But you want children.’
‘I do, but I don’t need a boyfriend or husband for that. Once Poppie’s wedding is over, I’m going to make an appointment to look into artificial insemination.’
‘Paige,’ he sighed with a tut. ‘This is no substitute for having a child naturally in a loving relationship.’
‘You think I don’t know that? I’ve tried, but I’ve been on so many bad dates, I give up, Jean-Claude. It’s never going to happen for me.’
‘I agree, you’ve had more bad luck than most, but it’s a numbers game. The more bad dates you have, the closer you get to the perfect man for you.’
‘But that’s the problem,’ I cried, full of frustration. ‘I’ve already met him, I fell in love with him, but he doesn’t want me.’
‘Who is this imbecile that doesn’t want a beautiful and intelligent woman?’
‘It doesn’t matter,’ I muttered, feeling my cheeks turn scarlet at the thought of Jean-Claude knowing how pathetic I was, loving a guy who didn’t love me in return. ‘The fact is he exists and no one else will ever compare to him, so I quit. I give up. I don’t need a man to be happy or to have a family, and I refuse to settle for anyone who will always be second best, so I’m better off on my own.’
‘Who are you talking about, Paige,’ Jean-Claude demanded, swinging his legs off his lounger as he sat up to face me.
‘Just some guy, you don’t know him,’ I lied.
‘You’re lying, Paige Taylor. I’ve worked with you long enough to know when you’re lying. Mon Dieu, is it Alec? It is, isn’t it? You’re in love with Alec,’ he gasped.
‘No,’ I retorted, struggling to sit up so I could get away from his piercing stare and impending Gestapo interrogation.
‘Not so fast!’ he ordered, shoving me back down on the lounger. ‘Paige, this is serious. I’m right, aren’t I?’
‘Fine,’ I snapped, knowing I was never going to get away with continuing to lie to him. He’d known me too long. ‘You’re right, but it doesn’t matter, does it? He doesn’t feel that way about me and I’ve accepted that.’
‘I have never committed violence, let alone considered it against a woman, but I could shake you right now, woman,’ he bit angrily.
‘What did I do? You wanted to know.’
‘How long have you felt like this about him?’
‘From the moment I saw him thirteen years ago.’
‘Then why did you say nothing? He has no idea that you ever felt that strongly about him, or that you still do.’
‘Life got in the way of us starting anything, then each time we saw each other, we were with other people. It was just never our time. After Spence and I broke up, knowing that no one would ever live up to my ideal of Alec, sent me into a real black hole, until Poppie insisted on me dating again to try and get over him.’
‘Your period of depression and weight loss was because of Alec, not Spencer?’
‘Yes.’
‘My God, Paige, why did you not tell me this?’ he cried, raising his hands towards the inky sky in frustration.
‘Why would I? It was my pain, no one else needed to know, and he was obviously happy with Tiffany after all, as he went and got engaged to her. Telling you, his best friend, that I was in love with him would just make things awkward.’
‘He wasn’t that happy with Tiffany! She was always second best next to you,’ Jean-Claude snapped, quickly standing up to pace the floor. ‘My God, Paige. After he flew to Rome and told you he wanted you, it broke his heart when you told him you were happy with Spencer and could see yourself falling in love. Thinking you’d moved on, he decided to move on with his life as well. When he heard that you and Spencer had broken up, he was going to fly back to be with you and I told him not to, I told him that you were so in love with Spencer, you were grieving for him and it wasn’t the right time, that you needed space to heal. Now I find out that all along it was Alec you were pining over, that it’s my fault you’re not together!’
‘No, Jean-Claude!’ I moaned, putting my head in my hands.
‘How was I supposed to know? You never told me how you felt about him, Paige. You didn’t even tell me that you’d started dating again. I thought you were single after you broke up with TJ, so I worked really hard to convince Alec to try again, to come to London for your birthday. He told me he was finally happy with Tiffany, but I said maybe one look at you would be all it would take again for his feelings to come rushing back. Then you announced you were dating and happy when he was already half way across the Atlantic! When he saw you with Flash, he fled back to New York, unwilling to put himself out there and have you break his heart again. The last time we spoke, he told me that he’d finally moved on, that he was putting you behind him and was going ahead with his wedding. My God, all of this could have been avoided if you’d just been honest with me, or with each other.’
‘He still wanted me?’ I whispered, the pain in my legs suddenly being replaced by a blossoming pain in my heart. ‘He really wanted me?’
&n
bsp; ‘He always wanted you, Paige. Why do you think he settled for someone who looked like you? A poor imitation at best, but she reminds him of you.’
‘So all of this time I’ve been unhappily dating, trying to get over him, I could have been with him?’
‘Yes,’ Jean-Claude sighed. ‘But now he is getting married, he’s reassured me that he’s doing the right thing, that he’s actually happy with Tiffany now. I think you’ve left it too long to confess your feelings for him.’
‘Why did you tell me this?’ I demanded, shooting up to my feet. ‘This doesn’t help, Jean-Claude. Knowing how close I was to having him over the years makes everything a hundred times worse than assuming he’d moved on with her and never felt that strongly about me at all.’
‘I didn’t mean to hurt you, Paige. I’m just so shocked to find that you’ve been covering up your feelings for him for so long. I’ll ring him, tell him how you really feel.’
‘Don’t you dare!’ I warned. ‘I’ve taken all the humiliation I can in one lifetime. If he’s going ahead with this wedding, he’s obviously in love with Tiffany and he’s let me go. Admitting how I really feel about him now, to have him reject me just like he did all those years ago, would break me for good, Jean-Claude. Don’t do that to me! Don’t you dare do that to me.’
Until We Collide Page 21