He clutches the keys tightly now and stuffs them back into his pocket. “Correct. But I didn’t take into account your ability to move people. Your mother … she created an opportunity for you, and you took it.”
The mere mention of my mother has me on edge. “Don’t you talk about her.”
“Gotten attached?” he muses. “Of course.”
“Shut up,” I hiss.
“She sacrificed everything for you,” he says.
I cover my ears with my hands. “I don’t want to hear it.”
“But you should,” he says. “Because of her you escaped, and now you’re here to do what? Live alone?”
“I had Emmy,” I bark back, unable to stop myself from engaging him. “But you stole her away too.”
“Are you saying you actually grew fond of her?” He raises a brow.
“Don’t change the subject,” I say, pointing at him. “You ordered that guy to take her, didn’t you?”
His nostrils flare. “No, the helper I enlisted acted on his own accord.”
I frown. “So he’s gone rogue?” I snort and laugh it off. “I can’t believe this.”
“Trust me when I say he will be punished for not following orders,” he says.
“I don’t care about your helper!” I yell. He doesn’t understand. “She was my friend. She came here willingly, knowing what the risk was, just to see my world. To live here and be happy. The smile on her face was everything.” Tears well up in my eyes. “And now she’s gone. She’ll never see this place again. She’ll never experience true freedom ever again.”
“She didn’t belong here, and you know that,” he says.
“Screw belonging! She loved it here!”
“Did she really? Or was she just in awe, like a child when they see things for the very first time?” he says, approaching me. “You of all people should know this world, beyond the community, isn’t always as happy as it seems.”
He eyes the pictures on the wall and the tiny shoes standing on the shelf, and then bores his eyes into my soul. Misery flows through my veins.
He knows about my child.
The baby that I lost.
“Don’t,” I hiss. The pain is too much to bear.
I don’t want to think about it anymore, about this scar on my belly, about that baby I never had … because there is a living human being growing inside me now. I have to make the smart choice and not succumb to my emotions. I don’t want to hurt the baby.
With his hands up, he steps even closer, and I back away until I’m up against the bathroom door.
“I’m not here to hurt you, Natalie,” he says.
I shake my head. “I don’t believe you.”
He’s so close that I can feel his breath on my skin. My pulse races. He leans in, his lips puckered, and he kisses me hard. I feel broken, powerless, yet the endorphins rush through my veins, clouding my mind.
No. I can’t let him do this.
I shove him away, and I slap him right across the face.
He stands there, momentarily frozen, while I stare at him in disbelief.
He kissed me, and I slapped him for it.
“I …” I can’t even say anything without stammering.
He touches his face where it’s turning slightly red. “I deserved that.”
My face scrunches up. “I don’t—”
“Yes, you did wanna slap me, and it’s fine. You don’t have to apologize. I can take it.” He places one hand on the door behind me as another reaches for my face. I flinch as he touches my cheek. “But I want to know. Do you really hate me so much?”
The way he looks at me, so full of adoration, shakes me to my core.
“Tell the truth,” he murmurs.
I close my eyes and let out a sigh. I’ve been so caught up in running that I never had a chance to think about what I was leaving behind; the unspoken feelings still lingering between us. But I can’t let them blind me either.
“I’m …” I don’t even know what to say.
He cocks his head, and a gentle smile appears on his face. “It’s okay. It’s okay to be mad.”
As he comes closer, my body yields to his touch, craves his warmth, and I fall for the trap so easily. With his hands snaked around my back, I cave to his embrace willingly.
I shouldn’t, but I’m unable to resist the pull. It’s always been there, from the very first time I met him, and now there’s a baby growing inside me that carries his DNA.
* * *
Noah
“I’m so confused,” she says.
I completely understand. Anyone would be if they were in her shoes.
I place a kiss on her forehead. “It will be okay.” I touch her belly, and heat flows through me. Is my child still in there? God, I hope so. I pray he’s all right.
“Is our baby okay?” I ask.
She bites her lip. “I think so. I bled today, so I went to the hospital. They said it was a minor bleed, and that he was still in there, and that there was no need to worry.”
A breath of relief escapes my mouth. “But he’s alive.”
“Or her,” she says.
It’s enough for me. I trust her. I’m in awe of her strength, and the willpower she’s shown. I would’ve expected her to try to get rid of it, but she didn’t, which proves she cares about the baby … and about us even though she might not admit that out loud.
I place a hand on her shoulder. “But you are worried.”
She nods again and rubs her own arms. “I don’t know what to do. I didn’t want to keep it, but I can’t get rid of it either.” She sighs out loud. “I don’t know why I’m even telling you all this. You’re the …”
“Enemy?” I raise my brows.
“I didn’t want to put it like that, but you’re here to take me away again.” She eyes me from underneath her eyelashes as though my mere presence threatens her.
I don’t blame her. I did come here to claim her and bring her back. But a part of me understands things aren’t as easy as they seem, and I think she knows that too. Nothing in this world is black and white. If I take my wife back to the community, my son or daughter will grow up resenting me for what I did to their mother. But I can’t let her stay here either, knowing she’s carrying my child, my future heir.
She suddenly jerks herself free from my grip and walks off. “I’m not coming with you. Don’t think you can convince me. Did you send those guards after me? And those dogs?” she hisses, searching through her kitchen drawers. “Answer me!”
“That was my father, unfortunately,” I reply. Well, partly. The other half was my decision.
She scowls at me, and says, “I shouldn’t have come back here. You know where I live, you’ve seen the room … you know my past now, all my secrets.” Goose bumps erupt on her skin, and I can’t help but feel as though she’s in desperate need of someone she can trust. And that person … isn’t me.
Because in her mind, I will always be the bad guy.
Right then, she pulls out a knife. “Leave.”
She points the knife in my direction, but the tears are welling up in her eyes again. It hurts just to look at her. She’s in so much pain from being alone in a place she’s no longer at home in.
“You don’t belong here anymore. These people haven’t been through what you’ve been through, so they’ll never understand,” I say.
“Shut up,” she yells, the knife shaking in her hand. “I don’t wanna hear it.”
“I think you do. You want someone to listen to you, to hear you, to know your story, and I do. I know every inch.”
“You were the cause of all my misery and heartache!” she yells. “You ripped out my heart and stomped on it for fun!”
“Natalie … You have to understand I’m trying to change things at the community, and I can only do that when I have you by my side. You have to come back home with me.”
“No!” she yells. “There’s no place for me there or anywhere. I don’t have a home. I don’t need a hom
e.”
“Everyone needs a home, including you,” I reply.
“This baby …” She holds her belly with her free hand. “Deserves a better place to grow up in.”
I can’t even respond to that because I know deep down that she’s right.
“Now get out,” she says, holding the knife firm while her tears flow freely down her face. “Leave!”
I step back and open the door again. She may think this is going to work, but I will always come back for her. “I won’t let you go.”
“I don’t care!”
A wicked smile spreads on my lips. “We both know I’ll see you again soon.”
Then she slams the door in my face even though we both know I have a key.
But I also know she’s only going to come with me if she knows the full and honest truth.
It’s time.
“I just want you to know …” I call out through the door. “The reason all of this happened. Why you had to leave the community and why I had to bring you back. I want you to help me overthrow the community’s leadership and bring it to an end.”
Chapter 7
Noah
As I walk off, the door behind me creaks.
A devious smile forms on my lips.
I glance over my shoulder. She’s peeking out.
I have bait.
I’ve waited so long with this information because I know that in the wrong hands it could mean my imminent death. But she’s ready now. She hates that place while at the same time, she cares for the people there. It’s the perfect combination, a storm waiting to burst. And with my child in her belly, I’ve secured my own safety because she’d never betray me and risk her son or daughter growing up without a father. Even though she threatened me with that knife, she’d never go through with it.
“What did you just say?” she mutters.
With my hands in my pockets, I turn around. “I want them gone.”
Her pupils dilate. “The patriarchs?”
“All. Of. It.”
She blinks a couple of times, completely flabbergasted.
I’d probably do the same if that kind of a bombshell was dropped in front of me.
“Why?” she asks.
“Because the people are suffering,” I explain.
Her eyes narrow. “No, this isn’t about the people. You don’t care about them. So what is this about exactly?”
I run my tongue across my lips. “Your mother and I made a deal a long time ago. I would bring you with me on a trip and set you free so you could live your life here for a few years. Then I’d bring you back in.”
She opens her door wider and folds her arms, waiting for a further explanation.
“You’d know what freedom meant … and then you’d learn what the Family you were born into really does to people.”
“And my mother knew all of this?” she asks.
“Not the part about destroying the patriarchs. But she knew I wanted to bring you back in again. She agreed because she wanted to give you the best chance. She just didn’t think I’d actually be able to find you and bring you back in.”
“She trusted you with my life,” she says.
“She knew exactly what we agreed to,” I say. “She hates the other patriarchs as much as I do. And no woman from the outside world wants her child to grow up in a place like that…”
“But the president is her husband,” she says, seeming confused.
I raise a brow. “You saw the bruises, didn’t you?”
Her face darkens, and she smashes her lips together. “He hurt her …”
I walk toward her and lower my head as a sign of respect. Marsha is her mother after all. “She’s been hurt many times.”
Tears well up in her eyes. “I hate him. I hate him more than anything.”
“I do too, which is why I want to overthrow them.” I grab her hands and lock them tightly with mine. “We could rule the community together. You and I. Together. We could bring peace to the people there.”
* * *
Natalie
I try to wrap my head around this. Can I believe him? What if he’s lying to get me to come back with him?
My hands slip out of his, and I take a step back, hesitant to trust him.
“You’ve seen what it’s like at the community now. You know how toxic it can be,” he says. “I want to change that, and we can do that together.”
“It won’t be any different with you as the president,” I say. With each step I take back, he takes one forward until we’re back in my apartment again. “You’re the same as them.”
“It will be different with you by my side,” he says, closing the door behind him. “You’d be a queen.”
“What guarantee can you give me that things will change?” I say.
No, I shouldn’t even be thinking about this.
“You’re my everything, Natalie,” he says, closing the distance between us. “I want you to be safe.”
“I wasn’t safe there,” I reply.
“You will be from now on. I promise.”
He reaches for my stomach, and the second he touches me, emotional turmoil coils my heart. “My baby is in there. I will protect you both.”
I’m so confused right now, and he’s only adding fuel to the flames. Especially with the way he’s looking at me with those sultry eyes from underneath his lashes.
But how can he ever protect me from himself?
From his own debilitating need to rule?
From his own savage cruelty?
And from his own dirty filthy needs?
“I can’t,” I mutter, my voice hoarse. “I can’t trust myself around you.”
He cups my face and leans his forehead against mine. “I know you don’t, but we can work through this.”
I shake my head. “How? I won’t let you put my baby at risk.”
I don’t know why I’m so fiercely protective of it, but I am.
“I won’t ever put him in danger,” he says.
“You say that now, but what about Emmy? You put us at risk and now look what happened to her.”
“I will fix it. I’ll make sure she’s okay. I promise,” he says, still firmly clutching my face while he practically stares straight into my soul. “I fucking need you, Natalie. I need you more than I need air to breathe.”
Every time he speaks my name, it’s as if lighting strikes me. I can’t resist, can’t let go of this infatuation, no matter how hard I try. The minute he stepped back into my life, I was already lost to him.
And when he leans in to kiss me, I let him.
“Please …” I beg him, trying to resist.
“I can’t stop …” he murmurs against my mouth. “I can’t let you go.”
I shiver. “You have to. This is where I’m safe. Where our baby is safe.”
He plants another kiss on the side of my cheeks and leans back. “You’re so cold. What happened to you out there?”
“What do you mean?” He’s completely changed the topic, and I can’t stop shivering.
“You don’t feel it?” he asks, touching my arms and face to check my temp. “You’re way too cold right now.”
He suddenly lifts me and carries me into the bathroom. I’m completely dumbfounded by his affection for me that I let him do what he wants without fighting back.
“You’ve been outside far too long. That hospital should’ve taken better care of you,” he says, and he pulls off my shirt in one go.
My eyes widen, and I cover myself as he peels off my pants too, leaving me in nothing but panties and a flimsy bra. He turns on the faucet, and the hot water starts to flow … right over me. But the water feels so nice, and I stop shivering right after.
Maybe I was cold, but I just didn’t notice it because of everything going on.
I lean back and enjoy the heat as Noah takes off his shoes and then his tie and throws it in a corner. He doesn’t seem to care that he’s about to get wet too, as he keeps coming toward me until he’s under the
shower too, clothes and all.
I snort. “What about your clothes?”
“Those can be replaced,” he says. “I’m more concerned about keeping my baby and his mother safe.”
I don’t know why, but that brought butterflies to my stomach. Shit. Why can’t I let him go? Why can’t I stop feeling this way about a man who’s obviously bad for me?
Even when I’m free and out of the community, he still manages to break me into a million pieces. And now he’s building me back up again, brick by brick.
He slowly wraps both arms around me and pulls me in for an embrace. “They say body heat is the fastest way to warm up …”
A tiny laugh escapes my mouth. He’s making up excuses to come close, but I’m not sure I mind. Being back in the real world has never felt lonelier. No one knows what I’ve gone through … except for him.
Maybe that’s why I’m so attracted to him in the first place. He knows better than any other man what I sacrificed to get here, and it created an unbreakable connection. I can feel it in my bones. The moment he touched me, everything faded away. When he holds me, it’s as though I can handle it all, as if I could take on the entire world with just these two hands.
He leans back to swipe a loose strand of hair out of my face and then presses a soft kiss onto my lips. Heat flows through my body, and I can’t help but kiss him back.
One kiss turns into two until I lose count, and my hands wrap around his neck in a desperate attempt to get closer. Maybe I’m desperate, or maybe I’m lonely, but after going through hell, I need this love more than ever, and it’s killing me.
Chapter 8
Natalie
I know I’ll regret this later, but right now, I don’t care. All I want is more of what he has to offer, and he’s got loads of it, judging from the feverish kisses he plants all over my neck.
My head tilts back, and the water falls onto my face as he cups my breasts and buries his face in my chest. “God, I’ve missed these tits.”
I snort. “Anything else you’ve missed?”
“Everything,” he growls, and he draws a line with kisses all the way back up my neck. “Every minute is too long.”
Beyond His Control Page 5