by Ruby Dixon
Cynical, but true.
It’s that same cynicism that makes my dick shrivel, though. I’m as red-blooded as the next guy, but it’s been seven years since my dick touched anything except my hand. Not because the need hasn’t been there. It’s just that I like confidence. I like independence. There’s nothing that makes me less turned on than a desperate, terrified woman.
In the apocalypse? They’re all desperate and terrified.
I figure personal relationships with women will just be one of those things that I used to enjoy back in the Before that don’t exist anymore. Things like hot showers and fast food and cold beer.
“Maybe some other time,” I tell Kayla as politely as I can and detangle from her clinging grip. “I need to talk to Amy about something.”
Kayla pouts, her lower lip sticking out. “But you’ll come see me later?”
“If I have time, sure.” I’ll make sure to be busy. I give her a half-hearted wave and then continue on to Amy’s chambers.
I knock at the open door, because Amy’s there but she’s got her back to me. She doesn’t respond when I knock a second time, so I wait. After a moment, she turns and I see she’s holding a bucket even as she frowns and carries on a silent conversation. Her face is pale and sweaty and she doesn’t look good. I step inside the room as she reaches for the bucket and hunches over it again, and Amy’s breakfast ends up in the bucket. “You okay?” I ask.
She jerks up, the back of her hand flying to her mouth. “Oh, I didn’t realize you were there. Sorry.” She sounds off and immediately hunches over the bucket again, vomiting.
I get a towel from a nearby stack of laundry and silently offer it.
Amy finishes puking and sits heavily in one of the thick, padded chairs in the room. It’s too hot to be enveloped in all that stuffing, but I know she’s got a bad leg—worse than mine, and I limp every time I’m on my feet for too long. Amy limps all the time. She gives me a wan smile and takes the towel, and I search the room for a water bottle, then bring it to her.
“Food poisoning?” I ask. “Should we be worried?”
“No.”
“Morning sickness?”
Her wan expression changes to a grimace. “Don’t say anything, okay? Rast knows but no one else. I have time before I have to spill the beans.” Her fingers press to her mouth again and she looks distressed.
“You go ahead,” I say. “I’ll be right back.”
I head out of her room, jogging toward the center where the women do laundry. I grab a dried up old laundry pod and a few sprigs of the fresh herbs they mix in to add a nice scent to everyone’s clothes. Once I have those in hand, I head back to Amy’s quarters and offer them to her. “Clean scent helps.”
Her eyes widen. “What?”
“It’s like a brain reset. Sometimes the strong smells can get to a pregnant person. Sniffing something clean and fresh helps. Lemon, lavender, something like that.” She looks at me like I’m growing another head and I give her a slight smile. “I was a paramedic in the Before for two years. We saw a lot of pregnant ladies that couldn’t stop puking. My boss carried a potpourri satchel and made them sniff it to see if that helped. She always said it was the trick when she was pregnant.”
“Thanks,” Amy says faintly, and lifts the sprigs to her nose and inhales.
We’re both quiet for a long moment, and I crouch a safe distance away, waiting.
“I think that helped.” She smiles and leans back against the thick cushioning of the chair. “Rast says thank you, too. He doesn’t like it when I’m sick.”
I nod. “He still following Teva?”
Her expression is immediately one of sympathy. “Yeah. He’s chasing her off. Is that why you’re here?”
I spread a hand, since that’s about all the answer I’ve got. “We both know she’s looking for me.”
“I’m still not sure why. She won’t say anything to Rast.” Amy gives me a tired look. “We’ll figure it out. We always do.”
“It might be better if I make myself scarce for a while.”
She shakes her head. “We’ve always accepted everyone here, Gabe. We can handle a dragon that won’t get the hint. I don’t want you to stress about that.”
I rake a hand through my sweaty hair. “I just want to understand it.”
“It could be the blood,” Amy says, and taps a finger to the corner of her eye, indicating my newly golden ones. “Maybe you smell like unmated dragon now that you’ve had some dragon blood.”
I shake my head. “Except she’s been following me before I ever had the transfusion. It’s been months now. At first I just thought the area we lived in was unlucky, but then I realized she was following me.”
I don’t admit that I liked it. That it gave me something to look forward to on my hunting trips. I’d look for the dragon everywhere, and it always seemed as if she was careful not to get too close, like she wanted to scare me but not kill me. Just like I enjoyed Scooter’s company, I enjoyed hers, too. And having a dragon that kept tabs on me was fine back when I wasn’t living in a fort.
Now, it’s a problem.
“There’s no logical reason I can think of,” Amy admits. “Rast has tried prying information out of her but she’s disjointed and easily confused. She has entire conversations with imaginary things, and she claims she doesn’t know who you are. It could be that she knows at a deeper level but it’s just not sticking.” She shrugs. “The only things that make sense are if she thinks you’re a particularly juicy bit of prey or if she thinks you’re her mate. And that would be really odd…no offense.”
I grin. “None taken. She’d wouldn’t be the only female I’ve run into recently with that idea in their head, present company excluded.”
Amy sniffs the detergent cube and then frowns over at me. “Kayla again?”
What can I say? I don’t want Kayla to be embarrassed, but she hasn’t exactly hidden her intentions. I nod.
The petite fort leader rolls her eyes and takes another sniff of the cube. “Why is it that dragons are sometimes easier than people? They’re simple in their wants. They want food, they want to let a little fire out here and there, and they want a mate to curl up with. That’s it.”
“They’re also crazy.”
She chuckles. “Got me there.” She gives me a thoughtful look. “Maybe Teva’ll get the hint if you stay inside the fort for a few days? No hunting? Or maybe she’ll run off and go see Claudia’s baby.” Her expression grows wistful. “I hear everyone picks up on her thoughts.”
I bite back my sigh, because Claudia’s baby is half-dragon…and that means another set of dragon thoughts that press on me from time to time. At least babies nap a lot. This one’s silent until she broadcasts loudly that she’s hungry, and then we all hear it. “The baby’s been around for two, three weeks now and Teva’s not leaving.”
“No, I guess not. We’ll figure something out.”
I get to my feet. I’m not frustrated, not exactly. I was hoping Amy would have answers, but of course she doesn’t. If there was an answer to Teva’s odd behavior, we’d have it by now, wouldn’t we? Amy’s mated to Rast, and Rast is a dragon. Rast can talk to Teva.
But Rast says she doesn’t know me.
Teva’s behavior proves otherwise.
“I just wanted to come by and say I might be going out on a longer hunt in the morning. Get away from the fort for about a week, see if I can find any goods. You have any requests?”
“Tampons?” She grimaces. “There’s always a need for more tampons in a fort full of women. And just any sort of medicine you run across. Anything you find, I’m sure we can make use of.”
I nod, making a mental note to look for pharmacies or hospitals. “I’ll head out bright and early. Give everyone a break from Teva.”
“You sure she’ll follow you?”
I just grin, all cockiness. “We all know the answer to that. She loves me.”
She waves her hands at me in a shooing motion. “Go with Go
I get up from my seat and head for the door, then turn. Teva’s still on my mind, and I have to ask… “Hey Amy? Can I ask something strange?”
She looks up from the cube she’s sniffing. “What’s that?”
“How did you and Rast…ah…” I rake a hand through my hair. “Become friends?”
Her face colors. “You’re thinking of Teva?”
I hesitate by the door. “Yeah. If I can save her, I want to.”
She tucks a strand of golden hair behind her ear, her expression prim. “It’s not a very PG story.”
“I figured as much. I still want to know, though.”
Amy toys with the cube in her hands. “So…dragons. Drakoni. There are certain signals that tell them that the other party is interested. I’ll spare you the details of how to entice a male dragon, but for a female, Rast has told me they’re different. Male drakoni challenge a female—a combat of sorts—and if the male wins, he gets to conquer the female.”
Combat? I have to win against Teva in combat if I want to help her? I rub my mouth. “Well…shit.”
“Yeah. The females are naturally aggressive and respond to force. They’re constantly looking to challenge a male because they want the strongest mate. If you win, you can claim Teva and mate with her.” Her cheeks are bright red again and she won’t meet my eyes.
Well, this is an awkward conversation. “So I need to bully Teva into a fight, beat a full-grown, fire-breathing dragon, and then fuck her until her brain returns?”
Amy bites her lip. “I didn’t say it was an easy answer.”
No shit. “Well…that gives me a lot to think about. Thanks, Amy.”
“Just…come back safely, all right? If you can’t connect with Teva, don’t worry about it. I’m starting to think all the females are lost. No one’s been able to connect with one at all.” Her smile is sad.
Yeah, but Teva knows her name, and she knows me, and I can’t forget that. But I also know I don’t stand a chance in a toe-to-toe fight with a dragon. So I nod, thank Amy again, and head out.
3
GABE
If the whole Teva thing wasn’t bothering me enough, I’ve also got Charlie to worry over.
I head down the hall to go visit with him. He won’t like the idea that I’m leaving, but I don’t know that I can stay. Even so, I don’t like the thought of leaving him behind. Charlie’s been with me since all this shit started, ever since the first dragon appeared in the skies. We were neighbors in the Before, living in the same apartment building and passing by each other here and there, but chaos makes you friends real quick. It was Charlie’s car we used to get out of the city when things got ugly, and Charlie’s guns that kept us alive. Now, years later, we’ve managed to live through all of the nonsense the After’s thrown at us, but Charlie’s no longer thriving.
He’s sad, and that worries me because he seems to be aging right before my eyes. I thought bringing him to the fort would be the best thing for him. He’s pushing eighty and there’s not a lot he can do anymore. His joints hurt him and his steps are slowing down. Lately he’s had trouble getting out of bed. Not because he hurts, just because he doesn’t want to…and that worries me most of all.
I knock on Charlie’s door and Katrina looks up. She’s got a book in hand—a romance novel—and was reading it aloud to Charlie, who’s curled up in bed under the blankets despite the fact that it’s sweltering inside. From here, he’s nothing but a few wisps of white hair and a frail body, and it terrifies me.
I can’t lose Charlie. He’s like a father to me.
So I smile and act like nothing’s wrong. “Got a minute, Charlie?”
“For you, I have all the minutes,” Charlie says and smiles, but his voice sounds tired.
“I’m going to grab a snack from the kitchen for us,” Katrina says, setting the book down. “Then we’ll tackle that next chapter. I peeked ahead and I think someone gets lucky.” She winks playfully at Charlie and then bounces to her feet.
I grin at her. Katrina’s a good kid. She loves doting on all three of the elderly men I brought to Fort Shreveport, but Charlie’s her favorite. If he doesn’t feel like getting out of bed, she reads to him. For some reason, they both like romance novels…even the dirty parts, which is a little strange to me. Nothing like walking in on an eighty-year-old and a sixteen-year-old reading Fifty Shades of Grey, but if it makes them happy, it’s fine with me.
I take the seat Katrina vacates and peruse the book. “To Love a Kilted Lord, eh?” I eye Charlie. “I’d have thought you were more of Viking fan than a Scottish warrior type.”
“It’s got a lot of good history in it,” Charlie says.
“I bet. How come you’re in bed today?” I want to check his pulse, take his temperature, and fuss over him like a parent, but he hates all that shit so I just clutch the book and try to eyeball any symptoms he might be having.
Charlie just sighs. He closes his eyes. “I’m tired.”
“I don’t like that, buddy. You’re worrying me.” I want to take his hand but I know he wouldn’t appreciate that. “You should get up. Move around.”
“Katrina said she saw a mouse in the gym yesterday. You know who’d be good with mice?” His tone turns wistful. “Colonel Mustard. He was always great with catching them and bringing them to my feet like he’d get a prize.” He chuckles. “Best mouser ever.”
Colonel Mustard. Yesterday, Charlie mentioned Miss Scarlet. The day before it was Professor Plum. And Mrs. Peacock.
The cats.
Of course. Charlie loved those damn cats. And when they’d lived in the bowels of the parking garage, the cats hadn’t been a problem. There was no one to tell them that feeding cats was a waste, so they’d somehow ended up acquiring six of the darn things because Charlie always fed the strays. Out of all of us outcasts, he loved those cats the most and it broke his heart to leave four of them behind when they’d come to Fort Shreveport. They’d been able to scoop up Mrs. White and Mr. Green, but the rest had been too skittish and half-feral. There’d been no time to go back.
Maybe I needed to make some time.
I lean forward and touch Charlie’s shoulder. “I know you miss the cats.”
“I just…there’s no one there to feed them. What if they can’t find enough mice or birds?” Charlie’s eyes grow watery. “They’ll miss us. They’ll wonder where their family has gone.”
I don’t tell him that they’re just cats and they’re probably getting on fine without him. After all, I have Scooter, don’t I? I can’t get upset at Charlie over missing his pets. And the two cats we did bring have settled in nicely. The kids like seeing them and they seem to be sufficing on scraps, mice, and birds. The fort could probably handle a few more, and if they can’t, well, I’ll just have to go and get more cat food.
“I need to go out hunting,” I tell Charlie, squeezing his thin shoulder. “Maybe I’ll swing by the old digs and see if anyone’s still lurking around. If they are, I’ll bring them home to you.”
Charlie takes my hand in his and clutches it to his chest. His hands are hot and leathery and far too thin. “We need our family back together.”
I nod. When you don’t have much, it hurts to give up what little you’ve got. “I’ll bring them back. I promise.”
* * *
I pack a bag of essentials, check over my guns, sharpen my knives, and get ready to go out in the morning. Scooter watches me work with perked ears and a wagging tail. I sit on the edge of my cot and stare at the dog. He’s a good boy and dragons don’t scare him, but I know Teva’s going to be following me. If she’s being unpredictable, maybe it’s better to leave him here in the safety of the fort.
Just in case something happens to me.
Tugging the dog close, I ruffle his fur and hug him, enduring the licks he gives my jaw. Even if it’s just for a week or so, I’m going to miss him. Having Scooter around makes me feel human. It reminds me of who we used to be. Once upon a time, we were civilized, and we lived in nice houses with pets and food was only a button-click or a phone call away. Now, we live huddled in forts, we scrounge for food, and people eat their pets.
I’d rather starve than hurt Scooter, though. Just like Charlie can’t be whole without his cats—all of them.
In the morning, I pack up and put a leash on Scooter’s collar, then head over to Benny’s quarters and knock. He and Katrina share a room, though they have separate beds and Benny’s confessed to me that she’s not ready to do anything and he’s not going to push her. Sensible kid. He answers the door in a T-shirt and boxers and rubs his eyes sleepily as he looks at me.
“Hey man. Something wrong?” Benny instantly goes on alert and looks much older than his age. “There a problem?”
I shake my head. “I’m heading out early and I’ll be gone a few days. I wanted to know if you’d look after Scooter for me.”
“You’re not taking him with you?” He looks surprised. “Is everything okay?”
“I just don’t want him to get caught up in my dragon problems. We both know she’s getting more and more determined.”
Benny grimaces and takes the leash from my outstretched hand. “You bet, man. I’ll take good care of him.”
“Make sure if it’s raining to bring him inside,” I say, gazing down at my dopey, affectionate dog. I know I’m fussing like a helicopter parent, but this is the first time I’ve had to leave Scooter behind. Feels a bit like leaving my kid behind. I swallow hard, stroking Scooter’s ears. “He’s not bright enough to figure out that lightning is bad. He’s not scared of dragons, either, so make sure he’s at your side when the bells go off. Try to play fetch at least once a day. He loves that.”
“Got it.”
“The cook makes him some mush out of scraps in the morning, but at night you’ll want to give him some of the kibble in the storage rooms. Just a cup, and pick the stuff with mold on it. Save the good stuff for people, just in case.”
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