by Ruby Dixon
And if I think of her hands on my cock again, I’m going to fucking come all over myself and upset her.
Thinking about other men that have touched her—tried to claim her, only to pull out—offends me, though. What a shitty move. What a shitty custom. I want to rage-punch every dragon-man in the head for doing such a thing to their women.
I like your angry thoughts on my behalf, Teva says, a hint of sweetness mixed with amusement in her mental tone. But it does not offend me. It is how it has always been done amongst my people. It offends me that you will mate me and then spill your seed elsewhere, though. It is as if you do not want to be bonded to me if you do that.
I didn’t think much about the bonding between us or what would come next, I have to admit to myself. I only thought about helping her. Freeing her. But she’s not a cat. I can’t put her in a crate and give her the occasional head pat. I mated with her to save her—as ridiculous and fucked up as that sounds—and I didn’t think about the future past that. All I wanted to do was save Teva. Now that she’s with me, it’s quickly becoming obvious to me that I didn’t think things through. She’s a person, with wants and needs and a culture completely alien from my own.
She wants a mate.
And I suspect I’ll be just as disgusting a person as all those males that “conquered” her only to reject her if I force her into a sexual relationship just because I used a few nets to trick her.
Fuck me but this is complicated. I run a hand down my face in frustration.
Do you…not want a mate? Teva’s thoughts are uneasy.
“I didn’t give it much thought,” I admit grimly.
But you shared your spirit with me. We are one now. I can sense the brimming hurt in her. I cannot take another mate. You are it for me, and I am it for you.
She stares at me with wide eyes that are edged with black, the colors swirling in a way that seems almost melancholy. Her jaw is stubborn and firm, but I can tell my resistance is offensive to her. She thinks it’s a problem with her, with our mating. And that bothers me.
“Teva, hey, I didn’t mean to make it sound like I’m rejecting you. I’m not. I swear. I just need to let this all settle in my head for a few. Remember what I said about being different?” Her eyes narrow at me so I take her hands in mine and pull her close, because I know she likes to touch. Hell, if I’m admitting it to myself, I like touching her, too. Far more than I should.
We should probably start with the basics.
I just don’t know what those fucking are.
She watches me with uneasy eyes, and I don’t like that they’re whirling darker by the moment. I can feel her thoughts crashing, as if her mood is somehow tied to mine. Then I feel like an idiot, because of course it is. Amy said Rast turned after they formed their connection, that he was lost before then. It’s the same with Teva. She needs me to keep her grounded, to keep her level.
I take her hand in mine and press my mouth against her knuckles. “We’ll figure this out, all right? One step at a time.” I brush my lips against her skin again because she’s warm and smells faintly of spicy Teva and aloe, and fuck me, I am so weak because my cock’s stirring even now. “Let’s start with this, though. You touching me and making me spill my seed? That’s not an insult where I come from. It’s a compliment.”
Her brows draw down and her eyes flash dark for a moment. I can feel her doubt. You lie.
It’s the truth, I emphasize, using the mental speech she does to try and push my thoughts across even more. It means I found you so appealing and irresistible that I couldn’t help myself. That I came far before I should.
But…what about babies? She pulls her hand from mine. Do you not want young?
Right now all I want is for you and I to understand one another. I will think about us today, and babies tomorrow.
Tomorrow, she agrees, as if satisfied with that. When your redness fades and your cock works again, yes? Teva lightly scrapes her claws down my belly, grinning when I flinch as she crosses over my burned skin. And you wanted to spill because you liked my touch?
I should pull away, because her claws are leaving painful welts on my sunburn, but I’m entranced by the playful gleam in her eyes. Not just heat, but a clever slyness that promises so much that I ache for her all over again. If she claws into my gut and pulls out my intestines, I still don’t think I could move away. I like her touch far too much.
Man, I have it bad.
I consider the beauty that gazes up at me, her fingers toying on my burned skin. She makes my mouth go dry…but that might be dehydration. I use water as an excuse to move away from her, because as much as I’d love to throw her down on the ground and fuck the daylights out of her, I don’t think my dick could survive it…and I still don’t know if I even should. It feels like I’m using her just because she’s pretty and eager for sex. It doesn’t feel fair to her.
So I pick up my canteen and offer it to her. “Are you hungry? Thirsty?”
Teva shrugs. She takes the canteen, sniffs it, and then hands it back to me. I do not thirst.
I take the canteen back from her and chug most of it. I want to drink all of it, but I’ve been in survival mode for so long that I know only an idiot drinks all his water in one sitting. There’s a decent faucet in a bathroom across the street that still works so I’ll refill later. For now, I dig through my pack and offer her some dried jerky. “Hungry? This is deer meat, but it’s still tasty.”
She takes the strip of meat from me, sniffs it, and then touches her tongue to it in a way that shouldn’t be sexy but makes my cock ache with need. She studies the food and then licks it again as she gazes at me. You did this to your meat on purpose?
I laugh. “I did. Raw meat only goes so far, you know? I have to make sure my food lasts.”
Her chin lifts. I will hunt for you, now. You need never worry about food ever again.
Her fierceness is cute. “I’m not helpless, Teva. It’s just different. I don’t have wings like you do.” I take another strip out, gesture at her, and then bite down. “My hunting involves traps and bullets and lots of running back and forth.”
Then it is good you have a strong mate. Her thoughts are a sultry purr and she rips into the jerky with sharp teeth. That…makes my dick deflate a little. Her teeth are a predator’s teeth, sharp and bright. For all that she’s lovely and graceful, she’s still a dragon.
It’s hard to forget that part.
I chew on my jerky and carefully let Miss Scarlet out of her cat carrier, watching Teva’s reaction. The cat lets out an angry howl and then twines around my legs, rubbing because she smells my food. I glance over at Teva, but the dragon-woman only smiles and then holds out her strip of jerky. After a moment’s hesitation, Miss Scarlet moves toward Teva and begins to lick the strip.
She likes the taste more than I do, Teva tells me. Her gaze flicks to mine, her eyes whirling a smooth, pure gold. And you know I can pick up your thoughts, yes? I will not eat her. Not after you have said no. I am not a child.
I laugh at myself, because I guess I am being pretty obvious. “Every thought?”
Most of them. Do you not want me to hear? She cocks her head, her gorgeous, tangled hair sliding down her bare shoulder.
“It’s just another thing to adjust to.” And another thing I forgot to consider when I was saving Teva—that my thoughts would no longer be my own at all, but shared.
There are no secrets between mates.
No, I suppose there aren’t. I sit on the hard concrete, crossing my legs and trying not to wince when my sunburned skin flares with pain. I let out the other two cats, and they meow, hiss lightly at Teva, and then continue to wait and watch me, as if I’m going to magically produce another can of tuna. I do have the cat food I found, and I know I’m spoiling them, but I open a can anyhow and watch them come running.
That smells better than what you eat, Teva says, her nose wrinkling. She sits across from me, her pose mimicking mine.
I laugh at her disgu
st. “Trust me, the taste is not a good one.”
And yet it is food, and you give them to animals when you could be eating it. Is this common among humans, too?
“It used to be, back when we were a real civilization.”
Her golden gaze locks into mine, and I can almost feel her sifting through my thoughts. Before dragons arrived.
“Yep. There were billions of us on this planet. Now there’s just a few handfuls.” I reach out and pet Mrs. Peacock’s ears, rubbing absently. “It made me really mad for a long time.”
And this is why you chose to challenge me? You forced me to shift forms so you can have your revenge on me? There is no anger in her thoughts, only curiosity.
I frown over at her. “I wouldn’t do that. I made that trap because I wanted to help you. Because I knew there was a person inside there. You knew your name. You’ve followed me for months. Something inside your mind was wanting to break free, but you couldn’t. So I wanted to help.”
Teva crawls forward to my side. She puts one hand on my thigh and touches my chin, forcing our gazes to meet from only inches apart. That is not all truth. You were frustrated with me.
“Because you kept following me and endangering everyone around me,” I acknowledge, a little uncomfortable that she sees through me so clearly…and that my reasons were a little more selfish than I let on. “Why were you, anyhow?”
Her claws scrape lightly over the stubble on my chin, and I can tell she’s fascinated by the texture of it. A moment later, she rubs the pads of her fingers along my jaw, the touch light and curious—and enough to make my sunburned cock jump to life again.
For a male that says he does not want to mate, parts of you are eager enough.
I chuckle. “You’re not wrong. But my head wants to know more about you first.” I pull her hand into mine. “Like why you were following me.”
Following you? Her brows furrow as if I have asked something strange, and I can feel the confusion in her mind. When was I following you?
“I just asked you about that…you don’t remember? All these months that you’ve been trailing after me?” I’m surprised, and I try to share all the memories that I have of her, of the red dragon constantly on the horizon, of the hunts she spoiled, of me constantly having to duck somewhere downwind so she’d lose my scent. Of her presence outside the fort, always lurking in wait.
She leans back, her expression thoughtful. Odd. I do not recall such things.
“Do you remember anything else?”
Of course. Arrogance seeps through her thoughts. Why would I not?
“What do you remember, then?”
All kinds of things. Her tone is full of amusement, and a throaty chuckle escapes her.
This is as good a time as any to learn about her, I suppose. “Then tell me about you. Where are you from, Teva?”
Her laughter dies, and her eyes go black for a moment. Her thoughts whirl in confusion, and I can practically feel the strain as she fights to remember. I am from…from… Her mind begins to churn, and I can feel that frantic anger building. There’s nothing for her to find, and so she’s panicking.
Amy said Rast had large holes in his memory, and that her sister’s dragon-mate remembered almost nothing. Teva seems clever, chatty and sly, but it’s obvious she’s just as affected as the others.
“Hey,” I murmur, tipping her chin so she’s forced to meet my gaze. “It’s okay. We’ll figure things out as we go, all right? No need to get upset.”
She licks her lips, the pink tongue darting out briefly. It frightens me that I do not know.
I pull her against me, ignoring the scrape of my painful sunburn. I’ll live. Right now Teva is feeling lost and alone, her thoughts so empty and hollow and upset that I want nothing more than to comfort her. I tug her into my lap and cradle her against me, tucking her against my chest as if she’s a delicate child instead of a strong, fully grown woman. “Cut that out. You know it’s early yet. You’ve been lost for years. You’ve barely been yourself again but for a few hours. Give it time.”
Years? Has it been years, then?
“Your people came to my world seven years ago through the Rift. Do you remember that?”
She shivers, and there’s a cold sweep through her thoughts. I remember…loss. A feeling of loss. And then nothing but chaos. Has it truly been so long?
Since the Rift? Some days it feels like forever.
What have I been doing all this time?
“Living on instinct, I imagine.” I rub her arm lightly. “Just like all of your people were. Every dragon that came through the Rift went crazy. They killed and attacked anything that moved.”
I can feel her horror at this knowledge, yet she is not surprised. She is comparing it to her own experience and finding the truth there. Her gaze meets mine. And yet you still saved me.
For some reason, her response makes me uncomfortable. I don’t want to be thanked for helping her…because I just had incredible, mind-shattering sex with her. It doesn’t feel like it was an altruistic move in the slightest. “I felt like I had to. Like I knew you.”
Her hand moves to my chest, resting over my heart. How did you know I was lost? And how to save me?
“You told another dragon that your name was Teva. I figured if you knew your name, you weren’t entirely gone. And you’ve been following me for months, remember?” I inwardly wince the moment the word “remember” comes out of my mouth, but Teva doesn’t get upset. “I wanted to find out more about you. I wanted to help you. And so I talked to Amy, and through her, Rast.”
Who is this female? Her thoughts flare with anger and jealousy.
The leader of the fort that I live in. She’s mated to another.
Good. Teva presses her cheek to my chest, and it’s as hot and flushed as my sunburn is. I would hate to rip her throat out.
I’d hate that, too.
So how is it that a human female knows so much about drakoni? Teva asks her fingers lightly trailing down my arm in a way that’s both sunburn-painful and unbearably ticklish.
She is mated to a drakoni. Rast. Do you know him?
Teva goes still in my arms. A drakoni…who is not lost to the madness?
“Nope. There are a few. If a drakoni mates with a human, the mind-link helps them get free from the madness. Well, mostly free.”
Can we go home? There’s a sweet yearning in her thoughts. I do not like the way this place smells. Or looks. It is unpleasant.
I rub her shoulder gently. “I wish I knew how to get you home, baby girl, but I don’t.”
Perhaps the other drakoni will know. I want to talk to him. Come. Teva pushes to her feet, getting out of my arms. I will shift to battle form and carry you in my claws, and you can tell me where to find this other male. If he has not been lost to the madness as long as me, perhaps he remembers more.
“Wait,” I say, jumping to my feet and catching her hand before she can leave me behind. “I need to go back to the fort, but there’s things we need to do first.”
Like what?
I gesture at the cats. “I promised a friend I’d bring his buddies home.” I think of Charlie and the disappointment on his face if I come home with just three cats and not four. “And we’ll need supplies. I promised I’d retrieve some of those, too.”
Teva narrows her eyes at me, studying my face. After a moment, she nods. If this is what you wish to do.
“It is. And I’ll start tomorrow bright and early. I promise. We won’t be out here for longer than we have to.”
Her hand flexes in mine. We will both work on your tasks together. We are mates now, are we not?
I nod. “We are.”
9
TEVA
I have watched my new human mate all night, and still I do not understand him.
He eats charred, hard strips of meat and pets the small creatures—the cats—as they eat sloppy, wet cakes of pungent-smelling food. There are three of them, with long, strange names, and one bright orange one th
at he points out to me that avoids him. He must return with all, he tells me, or his elder “Charlie” will be very sad.
It is not drakoni nature—or a warrior’s nature—to keep creatures as companions. Creatures are food. No more, no less. It is like the body coverings, the hiding of skin from the warm sunshine—I do not understand it.
But then again, Gabe knows this world. He did not go mad for seven long years.
Seven years. The thought is horrifying. I remember nothing but chaos and anger, nothing but wildness, and if I stop to think about it for too long, my mind threatens to tumble into darkness. So I try not to think about it at all.
Gabe talks through the evening. I have nothing to contribute except the gaping black hole of my memory so he is the one that speaks. He tells me of his life before, how he was something called a “paramedic.” He rode around in the back of one of the metal boxes on wheels and nursed people who were hurt. It is a noble thing to do. Now he goes hunting and when he is this “fort,” he tends to elders.
He tells me of this place. How it is called Earth and this particular place Louisiana. He explains to me the paths (highways) and the metal boxes (cars) and the strange buildings (fast food). He tells me stories until the stars are high in the skies and we sit by a crackling fire.
Gabe remembers everything about his world. He remembers the last seven years.
For me, it is a yawning chasm. Part of me feels as if I have barely come to life again on this day, because my memories of before are gone. My memories of coming through the Rift and all the years after that are nothing but noise. It makes me sad.
Shouldn’t I have friends? Family? Enemies? A nest of my own? But when I search for these thoughts, my mind is blank.
That hurts me. It feels as if some unseen force has stolen away my past and my sense of who I am. They have left only a shell of Teva, with strong limbs and an empty, broken head.
“You’re upset,” Gabe points out when I stare into the fire.