by Belleza
“You sure about that?” I laughed even though she had me hot from her comments. This is why niggas had an I don’t give a fuck mentality. Bitches like her always shut them down. “It’s funny how you’re doing all this preaching, but you use to be a fucking hoe. You don’t see me telling you, you’re not worthy of change, and you must be popping pussy for every nigga for a dollar? But fuck it, I’ma do me and I’ma let you do you.”
“Fuck you!” she spat getting up from the couch and putting her shoes back on.
This time I really laughed because she had me fucked all the way up. I sat back on my couch and ignored her as she stormed around collecting her stuff and made her way to the door.
“Make sure you lock my shit too!” I called out to her, and she shot me a bird before she slammed the door right behind her.
I’ll give her one more chance to fix her answer before I moved onto the next. I had too much in store for myself to worry about one ungrateful broad.
KEKE
All day I’ve been trying to ignore the pains that were shooting through my body off and on. I thought I was doing a little too much running around today and felt a little ease once Za’naa and I laid down for the night. I probably slept for a good hour before the ripping pain seared through my body.
After a painful cramp eased up, I glanced over and saw Za’naa was cuddled up with a pillow next to me. I slowly turned over gritting my teeth as I felt another bolting cramp at the bottom of my back. The alarm clock on the nightstand only said it was nine o’clock. Zayne hasn’t returned from when he abruptly left us earlier in the day.
He didn’t give me any details, but I had an idea what it was since Camille came over stating that Asahd went to a block and told her to go home. I told her my back was hurting, and she insisted that I relax so for half the day I was chilling but it didn’t ease the pain.
Suddenly I had a strong urge to pee, so I shifted my body to the edge of the bed, and as soon as my feet hit the floor and I stood up I felt a gush from my vagina and another shooting pain.
“Owwww!” I howled loudly forgetting Za’naa was sleeping.
“KeKe,” I heard her mumbled.
“Go back to sleep, Naa, I gotta go use the bathroom.”
I was still crouched over holding my aching stomach.
Please don’t tell me I’m losing my baby.
In my mind, I kept telling myself that I couldn’t control my bladder and it was just a little urine that escaped.
I waited another minute before I stood up and slowly made my way to the bathroom. Turning on the light, I slowly looked down at my shorts, and I felt my whole entire world crush once I saw they were now a maroon red between my legs. My back hit the wall, and I slid down covering my face with my hands as tears rushed out of my eyes.
The pain no longer bothered me, neither did the blood that seeped out of me.
I was losing my baby, and there was nothing I could do about it.
The pitter patter of Za’naa’s feet against the hardwood floor had me stifle my cries. I couldn’t get up quick enough to stop her from seeing the mess of blood. One glance at me and the blood she ran away with the quickness, and I heard her voice. She must’ve called her father on her cell phone.
“Daddy! KeKe is bleeding… you have to hurry.”
Sucking up my sadness, I pulled myself up from the floor and took my clothes off and turned on a mixture of hot and cold water in the shower. I washed my body and stepped out of the shower wrapping the towel around me. Surprisingly, Za’naa got me out another pair of sleeping shorts and a shirt and underwear and placed it on the toilet.
I got me out a sanitary napkin that was under the cabinet and placed it on the crotch of the underwear and got dressed.
After putting back on my clothes, I popped two Tylenol’s and then cleaned up the bathroom trashing my soiled clothes. When I got back to the bedroom Za’naa was up in the middle of the bed waiting for me.
“Are you ok?” she asked above a whisper.
I wasn’t ok, but I had to remain strong for Za’naa’s sake. She saw enough, and I knew she was terrified.
Nodding my head, I climbed into the bed and pulled Za’naa onto my chest and rubbed her back until she fell asleep. I heard my phone buzzing somewhere, but I was too weak mentally and physically to get up and search for it.
I don’t know how long it took for me to fall asleep, but eventually, I did and woke up to Zayne kneeled down on my side of the bed with his head resting on my stomach.
I thought I was okay and accepted the fact that we were no longer parents, but the hurt etched in his eyes spoke volumes to me. It had me choke with more tears flooding my eyes. I rubbed my hands through his wooly hair in an attempt to soothe him forgetting that I was hurt too.
“I’m sorry,” he mumbled.
I shook my head and then cleared my throat so I could speak clearly. “It’s not your fault.”
“We gotta get you to the hospital.”
“There’s nothing they can do Zayne. All they will do is give me an ultrasound to confirm the miscarriage and send me home with a prescription for the pain. I rather stay home.”
“I’m taking you to the hospital,” he said with finality standing to his feet and lifting Za’naa off me. She was dead sleep but stirred once she realized she wasn’t on me. Her face went from shock back to sadness before she frantically searched for me.
Zayne kissed her and told her to calm down, and we were going to the hospital. He left out of the room, and I got out of bed to throw on a sweatsuit knowing that going to the hospital was a complete waste of time.
***
Luckily for us, the wait wasn’t long at the Emergency Room. After receiving an ultrasound, I was given medication for the cramping, and a follow-up appointment to make sure all the tissue was removed naturally.
By the time we got back home, Za’naa was passed out, and Zayne placed her in her bed while I went to undress and lay back down.
Zayne went and got his clothes for a shower and left out of the room. I laid in the bed with my hand over my stomach wondering what could’ve possibly gone wrong despite the fact that the doctors told me the first trimester was risky and there was an unidentifiable reason for miscarrying.
I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn’t realize that Zayne had showered and got into the bed pulling me close into his body. He placed delicate kisses on my shoulder and cover his hand with mine.
“I knew something was wrong earlier. I should’ve called the doctor,” I broke the silence with what was on my mind.
“I wish you would’ve called me, but a phone call wouldn’t have a changed anything, babe.”
I adjusted my body, so I was now facing his chest. I needed to sleep. Worrying about what if’s was only going to bring me into a deep depression. Everything happens for a reason, but losing something you was connected to wasn’t anything that you can get over with a snap of the fingers.
ERNEST
“Do you know how much I love you?”
“Yes, I do.”
Shirley looked up at me with her slanted eyes and stood on her tiptoes to press her lips against mine. I circled my arms around her waist and buried my head in the crook of her neck taking in her sweet lavender oil she placed on her body.
She was the epitome of grace, the gentlest soul, and true beauty. Weighing only 140 it was difficult to know when she stepped into a room, but that delicate scent announced her presence.
“Well, how much then?” I asked moving my head to kiss her cheek and then lips.
“Too much.”
My eyebrows snapped together from her responses. There wasn’t no doubt that I did love her immensely, but too much sounded as if she didn’t deserve it.
I was in debt to her. I owed her my life. There was a time I was the one who was undeserving of her love. From lying, cheating and taking her loyalty and kindness for weakness, I did it all, yet, she was still here. I was the lucky bastard.
“Don’t say that. Yo
u deserve it all.”
“And so, do you,” she replied placing her head on my chest. “I will always love you, Ernest.”
My eyes popped open, and I sighed once I realized I was in the hospital chair.
“Shit!” I exclaimed upset that her voice sounded so real this time. I dragged my hands down my face in an attempt to get my mind together. I lost count on how many days and nights I’d been in here. Standing up from my seat, I glanced at Shirley in the bed and did a double take when I saw her staring right back at me.
The corner of her lips turned up, and I rushed over to her, dropping to my knees. I lifted her hand and kissed it. She didn’t say anything, but she was awake.
“I… was… wondering…”
I kissed her lips to keep her from talking. How she was able to speak so clearly after weeks of being hooked up to a machine was beyond me, but I wasn’t going to question God on this.
“The nurse,” she said lowly letting me know to go get them, but I shook my head. I needed this time alone. I’ve been in this room waiting for this, and there was no way I was passing up on it.
“That can wait, how are you feeling?”
Her smiled deepened. “You’re so hardheaded.”
“You know this already.”
For a few minutes we just stared at each other, and I ran my thumb across the back of her warm hand. With my years of wrongdoing, I knew I wasn’t highly favored, but someone knew I needed this woman more than I needed the air to breathe.
“I was missing you,” I informed her.
“I know you were here with me. What about everyone else you shut out?”
I laughed because it was insane that she knew I was the only person here with her. Not that I didn’t want them to be here, but I needed this time with her.
For the moment, I enjoyed my wife’s presence inwardly thankful that she was alive. I had to get down to the bottom of what happened that day if she could remember. I had time to figure all that out. All I wanted to do was soak up her presence.
***
The day went by quickly, and she wasn’t hooked up to many machines and the doctors informed us that she was coming along well. It was going to take some time for the scars to heal and for her hair to grow back, but all that didn’t matter to neither one of us
Shirley was placed on a soft food diet in which she didn’t bother eating because she said it was too bland. Her main focus was on getting the kids up here to let them know she was alive, but now that I had my time with her I was ready to ask the necessary questions.
“I swear by the time I get out of this bed my ass is gonna be as flat as a pancake,” Shirley joked pushing the cart that held her tray away. She moved around in the bed, and I laughed at her remark.
“Nah, that thang can’t get flat. I’ve been checking you out when they cleaned you up.”
She giggled. “I swear you’re nasty.”
“Man, you’re my wife. I had to make sure everything was still intact. I can’t wait to get you home.”
Shirley continued to laugh when I was serious as hell. I was tired of this fucking hospital. I wanted to be back in our home in our own bed.
“Have you let the boys know I was awake? I’m ready to see them and the girls.”
“I will soon. I don’t want anyone to know just yet. There’s some things that need to be handled.”
“Such as?”
“Such as finding out what happened that night? Do you remember anything?”
Shirley lifted the bottle of water from her tray and took a sip.
“I remember a little, but none of that doesn’t matter. It was Ernestine.”
My mouth dropped, but I closed it shaking my head. I should’ve known she would have went this low.
“She wasn’t alone.”
“Who else was with her?”
She stared blankly and shook her head once she came up with nothing. They did say she was going to have a hard time remembering things that occurred.
“I don’t want you to do anything about it.”
“Are you serious? You think I’m going to let her get away with trying to attack my family? Everything I worked hard for.”
“Ernest, she’s your sister.”
“And you’re my wife,” I told her firmly. “She tried to kill you. You think I’m really going to let that shit go?”
“No, but I don’t want anything happening to you. It all needs to end. We’re supposed to be a family.”
“Supposed to be, and she tried to take you away from me. That shit is unforgivable,” I started getting up from my seat. My attitude was turning sour instantly, and I didn’t want to put that on her, so I left out of the room.
Needing to clear my head, and think of the right way to handle this situation. All this time Ernestine been smiling in my face and sending messages checking up on Shirley knowing she was the reason why she was laid up in the hospital hooked up to machines.
I went to the cafeteria and got myself a cup of coffee to hold me over until I was able to get a drink. Right now, I needed a clear head.
Although I said I was going to do this alone, I ended up texting Johan, Asahd, and Zayne letting them know they had to come up here ASAP. I wasn’t sure if I was going to allow them to see their aunt but it was only right they knew the enemy was closer than what we thought.
Johan was the first to arrive followed by Asahd and Zayne who arrived together.
“I don’t really want to tell y’all this, but your aunt is up. She woke up early this morning.”
“So why are we down here and not up there with her?” Ashad questioned me standing to his feet.
“Sit down,” I told him calmly, and reluctantly he did. It was a shame that he was so much like me. Stubborn as hell and quick to react. That was all me when I was his age.
I waited until he was seated before I began to speak again.
“I think it’s best we keep things the way it’s been for the past weeks. With Ernestine, you never know how she’s operating.” My phone buzzed in my pocket, and it was her asking about Shirley again. It had my blood boiling
“Ernestine was the one that tried to kill your aunt. She can’t really recall who was involved, but she said Ernestine was there.”
I looked at the three of their faces, and they all had that fire in their eyes. I knew what they wanted to do, but it was best that they let me handle it.
“I want y’all to let it go and allow me to handle it my way.”
“Let it go?! We’ve been letting shit go for the longest!” Asahd snapped. “First Auntie gets shot, then it’s my girl, we get robbed, and you’re telling us to let this shit go.”
“Asahd, chill out yo. We can’t go about this any ol’ way,” Johan tried to reason with him.
“Why you think all this been happening? We’ve been letting shit slide back to back. We’re the only one taking losses!”
All Zayne could do was shake his head. I knew he agreed with Asahd, shit, I did as well, but I knew my sister. We were in the game together, and she learned from me. This shit she did was strategic, and I wouldn’t be surprised if she were watching their every move.
“I can assure you all this shit will end soon. Allow me to focus on your aunt make sure she’s at her full potential health-wise.”
Asahd, shot up from the table and Zayne went after him. He may not have agreed to anything I said, but it was only right. You can’t hit someone when they’re expecting you to attack. It will only lead you into a trap.
ASAHD
The cranking of the garage door would’ve startled me had I not seen Zayne’s black ass on my security monitors.
I walked out of my hidden closest carrying two pistols. I glared at him and walked over to the trunk of my car and began to twist on the silencer on my 10 millimeter.
“Fuck you doing here?” I questioned him.
“You forgot you’re my little brother? I know you like the back of my fucking hand. No one can’t stop your hot head ass from doing shit
, but I’d be damned if I let you do it alone,” Zayne told me, and I shot him a harder look only because he was here. As long as he wasn’t trying to give me a long speech I wasn’t going to stop him from coming along.
I always tried to listen to my uncle Ern, but this was something I couldn’t fall back on.
“You agree with him?” I asked lifting the loaded clip and pushing it inside of the gun.
“To an extent.”
I placed my gun down and glared at him again.
“Nigga, fix your fucking face. You asked me a question, and I answered it.”
“So you cool with everything going on? You won’t be happy till one of us is fucking dead.”
“You really think I want that shit?! Why you think I’m here now? I have a lot going on too, but I’m here with your dumb ass.”
“Fuck you, dickhead,” I spat at him, and he laughed.
I took both of my loaded pistols and walked around to my car. He got in on the driver’s side, and I backed out of my garage.
It was easy for Spence to locate where Ernestine lived. We rode in silence passing back an L until we got there. I got out of the car and checked the location of Ernestine’s phone. It said she was still in the loft.
We went up the flight of stairs, and I was ready to shoot the door handle off, but Zayne pushed me out the way.
“So if the bitch is in there, you gonna wake her the fuck up?”
“How else we gonna get in?” I asked back.
Zayne pulled some shit out of his pockets and started fucking with the locks. Within minutes he got the door unlocked, and I walked in with my gun aimed ahead of me. The loft was pitch black. After checking the bottom level, we went up the stairs that led to the bedroom.
A body was under the mass of covers. I walked over and snatched it off the body only to see a naked woman.
I pulled my phone out to check and make sure I wasn’t tripping. Ernestine’s iPhone was saying it was in here.