His bright green eyes flashed with anger, and his fists clenched at his sides. "And you thought I could live with you sacrificing yourself? Do you really think that I would thank you for saving me if something happened to you?"
I was so focused on protecting everyone, especially Reed, from getting hurt, that I failed to see how much I was hurting him by pushing him away. My head dropped down in shame. No matter what I did I was going to hurt the people I loved. What was the right thing to do?
Everything I had done to this point had been wrong. It was time to try the one thing I had avoided up until now, ask for help. I leaned against my car. "What do I do, Reed? How can I keep everyone safe?"
Chapter 20
Reed
"This morning you promised not to run, but that only lasted until it got difficult. I want to fight with you. I want to be here by your side, but I don't want to fight you to do it," I said and began to turn away from her.
Part of me wanted to walk away. I love her, but loving her has brought me a lot of pain. I could handle her past. Kate blamed herself, but that was bullshit. She had no control over her asshole ex-husband. I would never turn away from her for that.
But I was tired of being compared to him. I was tired of her watching me, waiting for me to hurt her. I was tired of her lack of trust. I didn't deserve it. I'd stood by like a lovesick idiot for too long waiting for the smallest sign of her interest. I was tired of fighting against her, but she wouldn't let me fight with her.
I felt her lightly brush her hand down my arm. "I'm sorry. I don't want to be like this. I would die if you got hurt. When you got shot, I rushed straight to the hospital. I wasn't even on the schedule, but I had to do what I could to make sure you were okay."
She leaned into me, and pressed her face into my shoulder. I stood still. Tension radiated from my body. I wanted to protect myself. Physical pain I could handle, but this woman could destroy me. I had to admit to myself that I would do anything to save her. It was simple self-preservation, because I honestly didn't know if I could live without her. But I didn't know if I could still hand her my heart at the same time.
"Cameron would let me run. John might go after him, and if he did I don't know if I would recover from it. Cameron was the only thing he could use against me, until you. I need you, Reed. I need you to be safe, and not suffer because of me," she said, barely above a whisper.
"Don't you see? I do suffer because of you. Every time you push me away you destroy a little piece of me." My throat was raw and I felt like I was going to choke on my words, but I finally told her what she was doing to me.
I felt her body shudder. "I don't want to hurt you. I love you damn it!" Her shudder became more violent and I knew she was crying even though she did so silently.
I turned around before I thought about it and wrapped my arms around her. "Shh. Baby, don't cry," I comforted.
Her arms wrapped around me like she would never let me go. "Tell me what I should do," she begged.
"Let me in," I whispered.
She nodded against my chest.
"I need the words, Katie."
"I love you. I didn't want to leave you. Just please don't do anything reckless. He took so much from me, don't let him take you too," she pleaded.
I released a breath I didn't know I was holding. "Say it again," I demanded.
She lifted her head off my chest and gave me a puzzled look. I could see the moment she realized what I wanted to hear because a little light returned to her eyes. "I love you. I've loved you even when I was trying to fight it. I need you, Reed, and that scares the shit out of me."
I framed her face with my hands and looked deep into her chocolate brown eyes. "Every time you pushed me away I was scared you wouldn't find your way back to me. I told you, Katie, if you need to run I'll run with you, but stop running away from me."
Kate nodded and I pulled her back toward the house. Jeremy was getting bags out from under the sink when we walked through the door. "What are you doing?" I asked him.
"Making sure our girls don't have to deal with this disaster," Jeremy answered. He flipped the bag open with a sharp crack and turned toward Kate's room.
I grabbed his arm and forced him to stop. "Call Det. Daniels. This needs to be on record." I saw the war waging inside of Jeremy while his jaw clenched. I had been so focused on Kate that I forgot Jeremy and I were in the same position. Cameron was a victim of her ex-husband's violence too, and being twins they reacted the same way; they ran.
"I know what you want to do. Believe me. I'd like to pound that motherfucker myself, but they need justice. Pounding him to nothing will only make you feel better. It won't give either of them closure and it will only make Cameron feel weak. Call my friend. Let him go over this place," I urged, and handed him Daniels business card.
Jeremy nodded slightly, dropped the bag, pulled out his phone, and dialed the number on the card. We needed to leave before Daniels showed up. He would want us to stick around and my gut told me we needed to be off the radar.
Aiden walked down the hallway. I gestured for him to follow me. "Kate and I are going to hide out until we come up with a plan. Watch the girls."
"You don't even have to tell me that. They're important to me too. Take my car," he said and handed me his keys.
"Thanks," I replied.
"Take her to Oregon, where you hid Becca and me. The only other people that know about it are the cops. It should be safe," Aiden recommended. We couldn't go to the cabin we used first, since his crazy bitch ex burned it down.
I started to walk away, then remembered my other favorite girl. "Hey Aid, I have one more favor to ask."
"Anything, you know that," he agreed without even hearing what it was.
"Can you go get Belly for me? I don't want to take her on the run with us and she loves being with Scott," I asked.
"That's an easy one. Be careful. And tell her not to worry about us. We will watch each other's back. I'm going to go get Toni and take her back to my place," Aiden said.
Jeremy stood in the living room watching both Cameron and Toni. Cameron wouldn't turn to him for help, but it didn't look like Jeremy was going to give him much of a choice. Toni was trying to hold it together, but her quivering lip gave away how close she was to breaking down. She turned her head toward me. She gave a weak attempt at a smile, and I knew that she was holding on for Kate.
I grabbed Kate's hand and pushed the button to unlock Aiden's fancy sedan. "We need to pull out as much cash as we can before we leave Ellensburg. John knows that we are here, so it won't give him any more information. I don't want to be tracked once we leave because we used one of our cards," I told her as I pulled into the Fred Meyer parking lot.
It wasn't as cheap as going to a Wal-Mart, but it was the only option in town where we could buy clothes, food, gas, and use an ATM. We made a mad dash through the store buying her some new clothes, basic toiletries, and some non-perishable groceries. I used my credit card to check out and Kate and I both pulled out cash from the machine.
After a quick trip to my house for me to grab my clothes, we turned away from town. Kate worried her lip and kept looking behind us. I patted her knee. "No one's following us. I've been checking," I reassured her.
"I don't see anyone either, but I feel someone watching me," she said checking over her shoulder again. She turned back around and sighed. "This is going to sound stupid, but something seems off this time."
"Katie girl, you've been suffering through this alone too long. There is nothing normal about this."
"I know that. Besides that wasn't what I meant," she said defensively. I motioned for her to continue, because I was confused.
"John has never slashed my things before. He likes to hit things. There weren't any holes in the walls. John would have punched and kicked until the walls were littered with holes. The doll was the only thing that was close to what he's done before."
I gripped the steering wheel so tight my knuckles turned white. J
ust the idea that she could have been home when he broke in scared me. "People like him escalate. He's becoming more violent. That's why we are getting out of town. Let's give Daniels a chance to find him and then we will decide what to do from there."
"I guess you're right. The photos are bothering me though, and not just because they were creepy. Before, he always destroyed my picture. This time he scratched out your face. It's like he's more focused on you than me," she said, staring at her hands.
"Hey, this isn't your fault. I know you're worried that something is going to happen to me. I need you to listen to me. I will never regret a single minute I get to spend with you. If something happens to me it won't be your fault."
"Don't talk like that," she said, unshed tears making her brown eyes shine.
I gave her a sad smile. I've seen her close to breaking down, but my girl has stayed strong through this entire nightmare. I knew it was going to get worse, but tonight we were together and safe.
I took a detour an hour outside of Yakima on our way to Oregon. I pulled over in a dark, empty park with lots of trees to hide the car. Kate looked around confused. I got out of the car and opened her door. "What are we doing?" she asked, letting me help her out.
"We are living," I told her and grabbed a blanket I'd tossed in the trunk earlier. She took my outstretched hand and followed me into the cover of the trees.
This late at night no one was around. There was always a chance that a bored cop could drive through on patrol, but I was willing to risk it. I spread the blanket out in the most secluded spot, and lowered Kate on top of it.
"Reed, someone could see us!" Her cheeks were flushed, and I could see the desire coursing through her. Not only did she want me, but she also needed this connection as badly as I did.
I slipped my hand into her soft blond waves and pulled her mouth to mine. I didn't kiss her. I consumed her. Her hand slid under my t-shirt and traced the lines of my muscles. My control snapped and I felt a growl rumble through my chest. One simple touch and she turned me into an animal.
I pulled my shirt over my head to give her more access to my skin. Still it wasn't enough. I tugged at her shirt until I managed to remove it between our grasping hands and frantic kisses.
The moonlight cast a silver glow over her pale skin. I lost my breath watching her perfect breasts heaving and threatening to spill out of her black lace bra. As beautiful as that article of clothing was, it had to go. I needed to feel her skin rubbing against mine.
I made quick work of the rest of our clothes. Seeing Kate completely naked, all of her lean muscles and soft curves nearly made me come. I needed to slow down and gain some control before I embarrassed myself completely.
I traced the bow curve of her lips before letting my hand trail down her long neck. Her head tipped back and her lips parted slightly. I continued to explore her, stopping at her breasts tracing the swell underneath, avoiding where she wanted my attention. I traced the line down her side, around her hip, until I got to her toned thighs.
I wanted to take my time, to taste every inch of her skin, but our situation didn't allow it. This was a stolen moment in the middle of chaos. One moment, blanketed by stars, to remind us that we were alive and together.
I reached into the pocket of my jeans and removed the condom I'd placed in there back at my house. I quickly covered myself as Kate wrapped her firm legs around me and pulled me into her. Her nails bit into my shoulders and all of the effort I'd made to slow down evaporated.
She lightly bit my ear and the last thread of my control disappeared. I grabbed her hip and slammed into her over and over. I was afraid I was too rough, but her soft moans let me know she was with me.
We rolled, tangling ourselves in the wool blanket. I felt the tickle of cold grass when she reversed our positions. I held onto her thighs while she rode me, unconcerned with her complete exposure in the bright moonlit night. I felt her start to clench around me, and as much as I loved watching her above me, I wanted to take control. I loved her strength and her independence, but I wanted her to surrender her body and heart to me like I had to her.
I pulled her to me and flipped us over. I grabbed her hair and took her mouth again in another frantic kiss. She kissed me back with equal frenzy. My skin tingled and I held my breath trying to hold off my release for a few more minutes. She moaned and her body began to tremble underneath me, letting me know she was close.
"Let go, Katie girl. Come with me," I begged. Her head tipped back in response and I heard her breathing hitch. I felt her muscles clench around me and I fell with her.
I stayed inside her, wanting the connection to last, until the cool night air chilled our sweat soaked skin. Kate's fingers twirled in my hair and accepted my weight without complaint. "I wish we could stay here," she murmured. I kissed her shoulder. "So do I, but as long as we are together we'll carry tonight with us."
Chapter 21
Kate
"Wake up, sleepy head," Reed said, shaking me gently. My hair was ratted around my head and I'm pretty sure there were bits of grass woven in there somewhere. My body was stiff, and as badly as I wanted to stretch, I knew all of my joints were going to pop and crack. Not sexy.
Could you get morning breath in the middle of the night? The sour taste in my mouth suggested it was indeed possible. As if that wasn't unattractive enough, the moment I opened my eyes I had to pee with wicked intensity.
Reed laughed. It was great to hear after everything we'd been through. It would be even better to hear it after I'd found a toothbrush, comb, and a toilet. Not necessarily in that order.
"We're here. You can stop squirming in your seat. The bathroom is the first door on the right," he said chuckling again. Reed pulled in front of the house and handed me the keys.
I hastily grabbed the keys from his hand and ran to the house. After I'd used the bathroom, I walked out into the hall to get my bag, only to find Reed standing on the other side of the door holding it out to me.
"Thank you," I said covering my mouth with my hand.
I tossed out plans to quickly freshen up and opted for a shower instead. I stood under the spray and allowed the full impact of our situation to hit me. The water mixed with the tears silently streaming down my face.
I'd lived in fear, on the run, and never took the time to grieve for everything I'd lost. I never cried for the loss of my parents. I went from being numb, to trying to survive my marriage. I buried their deaths and the disappearance of who I used to be in every city I ran to.
I turned off the water and dried off. My eyes were pink and puffy. I wrapped a towel around myself and walked barefoot down the hallway. I found Reed standing in front of the window gazing out into the moonlit forest beyond.
He studied my face and pulled me into his arms without a word. Some how he knew I wasn't ready to talk. He didn't push, only offered comfort. I started to cry again. This time loud sobs that I couldn't begin to quiet. I'd run for so long, and yet somehow seemed to find my way home.
Reed ran his hand through my wet hair. "Cry all you need to, Katie. I love you when you're smiling and when you're sad. I love you all dressed up and when you wake up with grass in your hair. I'm here and I'll be by your side wherever we end up."
"You are amazing," I hiccupped. "I didn't believe someone like you existed, let alone was out there for me." I'm sure he could see the wonder and love on my face. I was afraid I'd dreamed him up and I'd wake alone in another new city, starting over again.
"I'm here," he repeated, like he could read my mind.
Linking our hands together, I followed him upstairs to the master bedroom. The decor was typical of a log cabin in the woods. Large wooden beams crossed the ceiling. The floor was smooth sanded wood and covered with plush colorful rugs. There were only a few pieces of solid wood furniture. The focal point was a large log bed covered in a well-loved quilt.
Suddenly I was swept off my feet and dropped on to the middle of the bed. Reed's eyes gleamed with mischief as he pac
ed along the side of the bed.
"Reed!" I protested feebly. Truthfully, I liked it when he was playful.
He cocked his head to the side, wicked thoughts playing across his face. "You were admiring the quilt, but I thought it would look better with you spread across it, but something still isn't right."
He reached toward me quickly and pulled away my towel. "That's better," he said, and tossed it to the floor. He crawled across the bed toward me, but I rolled away from his grasping hands.
I shoved him flat on his back and leaned over him. "My turn," I whispered in his ear.
Slowly, I peeled every item of clothing he wore, worshiping his muscular body as I went along. I traced the scar on his thigh with my fingers and silently thanked God his injury wasn't worse. I moved up his body and gently kissed the scar on his shoulder. I heard him suck in a ragged breath when my lips touched the puckered flesh.
Reed groaned, but I kept my pace torturously slow. I licked my way down the valleys and grooves of his stomach. Unable to endure anymore, Reed flipped me onto my back and held my arms over my head. I wrapped my legs around his waist and pulled him into me.
I'd always thought making love was slow and probably boring. I would not have believed that it could be a sweaty, tangled in blankets, breathless explosion of passion, but that's what it was.
Reed collapsed on top of me and I held him tight. I loved the feel of his weight pressing into m, and the beat of his heart pounding against my breast. When he summoned the energy to roll on to his side, he pulled me tight against his chest.
The next morning I woke up with Reed's arm still wrapped around my stomach and his leg tangled between mine. I tried to untangle myself to sneak off to the bathroom, but my movements only made him squeeze me tighter. I managed to slip out of his hold and made it half way to the door when Reed bolted up right in a panic.
He calmed when he saw me paused in the middle of the room.
"I didn't mean to wake you. Go back to sleep. I'll be back in a minute," I comforted.
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