“Uh…”
“Then we can go inside later?”
“Sure.” His voice sounded unsure, but he’d agreed, which was exactly what she wanted. She hadn’t planned on trying to seduce her husband, and frankly she didn’t really know how. All she knew was that for some reason he was being an idiot, and she, being the female, needed to remedy the situation.
“Thanks,” she said, stretching her hands into the air. She felt his hot gaze even though her eyes were closed. If looks could kill, she would be dead.
She took the opportunity to yawn and lift another strawberry to her mouth before stretching her body across his.
“Sara.” His voice was small, not at all how she was used to hearing it.
“Hmm?” she asked innocently.
“I uh, I—“
“Do you always use such big words, Nicholas?” she teased, not opening her eyes. His body tensed beneath hers. Surely this was the bravest moment of her life as she began caressing the top of his leg. Even she felt his shudder and a smile crept upon her lips. Luckily she was facing away from him.
“Time to sleep,” she said, even though it was absolutely the last thing on his mind now. Good, let him suffer for a while, she thought, then she sadly realized how tired she really was. Maybe she could sleep for a few minutes.
She woke up with a start. It was already dark outside; she could hear the crickets and feel the cool temperature. Somehow the blanket she had sprawled across was tucked around her body and Nicholas was sitting straight up next to her. She was mortified. She had tried to seduce her husband and fell asleep; she really was an innocent.
A smile played on Nicholas lips as he looked down at her. “Awake princess?”
She nodded glad he couldn’t see her red face. “How long was I sleeping?”
“Four hours.” Nicholas didn’t even crack a smile.
“Four hours!” she yelled.
He shook with laughter and fell back onto the grass. “My, my you’re fun when you wake up from a long sleep. Maybe I did stretch the truth. I actually fell asleep too, it seems we have only been out here around two hours, maybe one spent sleeping.”
She exhaled, realizing she had held her breath. “Shall we go inside?” she asked, already getting up.
“Sure.” His eyes squinted with laughter. “I have another surprise waiting for you.” He grabbed her hand and kissed it. The kiss sent sensations all the way down to her toes. She could get used to being kissed on the hand like that.
Nicholas led her back into his immaculate home. He bit his lip and focused on pulling her up the stairs. He looked like a little boy on Christmas, which gave Sara tingling sensations in her stomach. The anticipation of what was to come was nearly too much to take. She hadn’t seen him like this, ever.
“Just this way,” he said softly in her ear. It was odd how often he whispered to her, as if speaking in his normal tone was too harsh for someone so precious. Whatever his reasons, it made her feel special. He led her back into her chambers and into another room she hadn’t seen yet. It was small and smelled like fruit and soap. She looked down and nearly cried. He had had a bath prepared for her. It was perfect; then again, she wasn’t sure what he wanted her to do. Was she supposed to bathe alone, or was he going to sit with her, or would he bathe with her? The thought, rather than frighten her, filled her with longing and anticipation. What would his hands feel like on her naked body? Closing her eyes momentarily, she allowed herself the little daydream of being alone with Nicholas in the large tub.
“I’ll be in my chambers preparing a light supper when you’re ready,” he answered the probing questions in her mind. She tried to act nonchalant but felt that her face revealed the disappointment in him not staying. She had felt ugly all her life, and finally come to terms with who she was, yet on her wedding day he hadn’t touched her since the carriage ride.
Desperate times called for desperate measures she told herself. She would bathe alone as he asked, but if her assumptions were correct, he was in fact lustful of her; he had said as much before. All she needed to do was give him a little push, and she would do exactly that.
A secretive hum passed her lips while she quickly undressed and sat down into the warm water and nearly choked with laughter. He had met his match; it was about time he realized that.
****
Nicholas paced in his room for close to an hour. If he kept it up, he would surely break the floor or forever mold it to his feet. He had felt bad the minute he left Sara alone in the bath. Had she wanted him to join her? It almost looked that way, but it also could have been his imagination playing tricks on him. He was, after all, a blubbering idiot, or at least that’s what he felt reduced to at this point. Why couldn’t he seduce her like any other girl?
The answer was simple: she wasn’t any other girl, and he had in fact never seduced an innocent woman in his entire life. Sure he had a well-deserved reputation, but it wasn’t because he walked around stealing the virtues of young debutantes. Most of his famous seductions were with older woman who were either married, bored with their spouses, or worse yet, cheated on.
He began to sweat when he thought about how he was to go about this night. He had put it off long enough and the last thing he wanted was for Sara to think he didn’t want her. He wanted her all right; it was all he could think about. Surely this need would go away after a few stolen moments in her arms. He prayed it would, or he would be useless to everyone including himself.
Really, what was taking her so long? He raised his hand to knock on the door then lost courage. It took him a ghastly twelve minutes to finally compose himself enough to knock on the door without passing out. He was a disgrace to his sex.
“Come in,” the voice echoed.
He relaxed and opened the door. Sara was nowhere to be found, he had imagined she would be standing in front of the door waiting, instead she was. Oh. Have mercy.
She was in the bathtub.
Still in the bathtub.
The inner struggle was obviously apparent to Sara. She merely smiled and asked him to please help dry her off. Was she insane? Had she lost her mind? That was like asking a tiger if he would like a cup of tea. Tigers didn’t like tea; they liked to eat people. He didn’t know whether to close his eyes, yell, jump in the tub with her, pull her into his room half naked, or quite frankly, cry. He decided against the first, because it's not as if he hadn’t seen a woman nude before, and she was his wife, after all. He also figured yelling would bring servants into their chambers, which was the last thing he wanted. And jumping in the tub with her was completely out of the question considering she was getting out, so that left him with only the last few options. Cry.
Or take her into his room and ravish her until she begged for sleep.
Both options sounded good at the time.
“Nicholas, are you well?” her sweet voice interrupted his inner battle.
He cleared his throat as best he could. “Of course, sure, yes, why wouldn’t it be?” He used an agonizing amount of affirmative answers in that sentence. Kicking himself would have felt better than the way her eyes teased him after his sorry answer.
He mentally yelled at himself and noticed a slender leg lift out of the tub and step onto the floor. It was like slow motion and his eyes traced from her delicate ankle all the way up her thigh. It felt wrong and right all at the same time. “Do you need my help?” he managed to ask even though his breathing had grown quite laborious over the past minute or so.
Sara looked at him through heavy lids and smirked. “Do you think you’re in the best capacity to help me right now?”
An honest woman deserves an honest answer. “No.” He swallowed.
“I figured. Why don’t you pour us some wine, and I’ll join you once I dress?”
He ignored the aching need all over his body and nodded his head. Words had trouble forming on his mouth so he managed to dip his head again before exiting into his own chambers.
Chapter Nineteen
/> He was a fool; an idiot, actually. Any red-blooded male would have taken one look at her and wept with pure joy. Instead he just felt like weeping. Who was he to take something so perfect and make it his?
He waited anxiously in the chair by the fireplace then heard a soft knock on his door.
“Come in,” he said authoritatively. If he didn’t get a handle on himself, he was done for.
He heard Sara approach him but thankfully his back was to her. He got up from his chair and turned around. If he wasn’t already a Christian, he would have gotten on his knees and confessed everything. Surely she was the reason for his existence; surely there was a God.
She was dressed in the thinnest night rail known to mankind. He couldn’t decide if it was covering her or not. The material wasn’t exactly see-through, but the silk clung to every curve of her body, making his mouth gape open in awe.
She smiled. “Wedding present from Lady Fenton.”
Nicholas made a mental note to thank Lady Fenton the next day…repeatedly.
He gave himself another boost of confidence and offered her some wine. “You look absolutely ravishing in that Sara.”
She lifted one single eyebrow and took a sip of wine. She mocked him? That little witch! He wanted to laugh and yell all at the same time. She was toying with him! And worst of all he was falling for it like some schoolboy who had never seen a woman before. Suddenly he felt a lot more confident. He licked his lips and walked toward her. “I have another surprise for you.”
She lifted her eyebrows in a quizzical way and he saw the doubt in her eyes. How she hated his surprises. It made him want to laugh and point, both of which were not romantic.
“Close your eyes,” he ordered.
She did as he said and waited. He grabbed one of his untied cravats, and firmly attached it around her head, rendering her blind. “Can you see anything?” he teased, inches from her mouth.
She bit her pink lip and sighed. “No.”
He breathed over her mouth, “Perfect, now it’s time to eat.”
She shifted uncomfortably on her feet. “You’re joking, right?”
“I never joke.” If he could see her eyes he would imagine them rolling right about now. “I’ll lead you to your seat. We’re going to play a little game. How does that sound?”
She smiled and with sudden eagerness leaned forward, dangerously close to his face. “I like games.”
God must favor him above all men. He sent up a silent prayer and arranged the dishes on the table. “You get to taste each treat, but in order to get the next treat you have to name the one you’re tasting.”
“Sounds easy enough.”
“Hardly,” he said dryly. He lifted a strawberry to her lips. “What is this?” he asked, leaning in.
She laughed. “That’s easy; it’s a strawberry.”
“Very good,” he praised. “The next one is a bit harder. He lifted a piece of chocolate to her mouth and watched as she licked her lips around it.”
“Chocolate?” She licked her lips, driving him crazy.
“I knew you’d be good at this game,” he laughed. “Now this is going to be a little bit harder for you.” He lifted up a small cake to her mouth and watched her bite in. He had never been more envious of cake in his life. Crumbs went everywhere as she wiped her mouth clean with her tongue.
“Hmm, this one tastes like a fairy cake?”
“You, my darling, know your foods very well. Bravo. Now for the main event! This should be your favorite treat; in fact, I hope it will be. Lean in very closely.” He watched as she leaned her entire body over the table. He nearly swore as her gown continued to cling to her curves. “A little further.” Finally, she was as close to him as he needed. “Now tell me what this is.” He leaned in carefully and ran his tongue over her lips. They tasted of sugar and chocolate and of actual perfection. He kissed her fervently, allowing his tongue to slip into her mouth ever so gently.
“Do you have your guess?”
She laughed huskily. “I do believe that was Nicholas Renwick.”
“Which is your favorite?” he teased.
“I need another taste,” she whispered.
“Of course,” he answered, then pulled her around the table into his arms. It didn’t take long for him to tear off the outer robe of her night rail. In his haste, he forgot to take off her blindfold. He quickly removed it and gazed into her beautiful eyes. “You’re beautiful,” he proclaimed in a ragged breath.
“As are you,” she answered, pulling off his coat and un-tucking his shirt. How had he, Nicholas Renwick, managed to marry such a beautiful and willing wife? He laughed and he threw her onto his massive bed.
“I do believe,” he said in between kisses, “that I have half a mind to make you my wife right about now.”
Sara pulled his body over hers and kissed him passionately. “Took you long enough.”
And then Nicholas laughed, releasing all of the anxiety he felt earlier in the day. Of course being with Sara would be like this. A night filled with games, laughter, and passion. He only wished he could offer her his love. In the back of his mind he could almost hear a voice telling him that it was fine to let his guard down, to love this woman completely. If only it were that easy. The same voice telling him to give his heart away was the exact same voice that also reminded him of what happened the last time he gave his heart away.
Not only were bad choices made, but he ruined a marriage, all because of his passions. It wasn’t truly possible for him to give a part of himself to someone when those parts were still wallowing in guilt from the first round of love.
He kissed down the nape of her neck. He heard her moan and immediately responded by removing any obstacles of clothing in the way. He wanted her like he’d never wanted anyone in his life, but he felt he needed to warn her. “Sara, this may be…“
“I’m not stupid,” she supplied. “I know.”
And that was all Nicholas needed. He spent the rest of the night teaching Sara what it was really like to be one with someone. It wasn’t until early in the morning, with Sara's body sprawled across him, that he realized the repercussions of his actions. If she annulled this marriage he wouldn’t be able to go on. He had forgotten the sweet ecstasy of sharing one’s body with another. And what if she were to bear him a child? What would he do? He prayed for God to show him mercy and at least help him to sleep while the questions still loomed in his mind.
Sara woke up refreshed, energized, and should she admit happy? The night before had surpassed even her wildest imaginations. Nicholas had taken his time with her, although she knew how difficult it had been for him. He was after her pleasure before his own; she wanted to return the favor but upon waking found him nowhere to be found. They were supposed to attend one of the balls tonight and then embark on their honeymoon, although she wasn’t sure if she really cared that they went anywhere. She was more excited to be with Nicholas. She moved out of the bed carefully examining her body. True she felt a little uncomfortable but that was to be expected. She put on the robe hanging by the chair and looked out on the balcony.
It was then that she heard a gentle knock and Nicholas strode in.
He was fully clothed and looking as beautiful as ever, it took everything in her not to throw off her robe and jump on him. She was embarrassed at the thought.
He smiled knowingly as if he, too, was thinking the same thing. He walked over to her and kissed her on the cheek. “And how did you sleep?”
“Gloriously, except there was this odd noise coming from your mouth. Could it have been snoring? I’m sure you are exhausted after so much work last night. Really, I should take it easy on you; after all, you are much older.” She winked and walked by him.
He grabbed her arm and pulled her body into his own, pressing his hot lips against hers. He moaned as his hand cupped her breast. “Little minx,” he said against her lips, and then her robe was off as if it hadn’t been on or secure in the first place. She giggled as he pushed he
r up against the wall and began kissing down her back and arms, molding his body to hers.
He groaned as she pulled his hair and then whispered against her skin yet again, “I don’t think we’re going anywhere today.”
She laughed. “What about the ball tonight?”
He looked like he was going to swear; instead he shrugged his shoulders. “We’ll be late.”
She laughed watching his clothing hit the floor. It wasn’t until late afternoon that they actually ate and were able to bathe and dress for the evening, and even that seemed to be a chore and quite distracting.
Finally, Sara was ready. Since she was married, she was able to wear darker more vibrant colors. It was so much better than prancing around in pastels and whites. She swished her dress a few more times before Nicholas entered the room.
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