“Liar!” Jenn challenged, fire in her blue eyes.
“Be careful how you talk to your queen,” Jillybean warned. “My patience extends only so far.”
This brought out a sharp: “Ha!” from Jenn. “In case you didn’t notice, you’re not queen anymore.”
Jillybean sat, leaning back in her chair, appearing completely at her ease. “No longer queen? Really? Then is this trial for show, only? What happens when I’m found to be innocent of…well, I don’t even know what I’m being charged with. Treason, I suppose.”
Jenn shot Stu a look. It was unsurprising that he only shrugged. Jenn made an angry noise in her throat and said, “Yeah, it’s treason.”
Had this been a real court of law with real rules, Jillybean could have knocked a treason charge out of the park without any effort. She couldn’t do that here, because Jenn would just change the charge against her to something like: General badness.
“Once I’m found innocent of treason, won’t I still be queen?” Although Jenn had been annoyed at Stu’s shrug, she gave the same response. “Exactly. The fact is, Jenn that only by death, abdication, or the process of being deposed does one stop being queen. Until then, I am queen and you will not undermine me by calling me a liar without proof.”
“We have proof. Your confession!”
“You had the confession of Eve, a person known to lie and twist facts to suit her purposes. We both know she said those things only to hurt Stu.”
Stu had inadvertently become an exhibit in Jillybean’s defense and he did indeed look hurt.
Jenn looked undone as she saw the people nodding along, already dismissing the confession that had been the foundation of her case against the queen. She set her mouth into a tight-lipped grin. “Okay, Your Highness. I should have known this was how it was going to be. I admit it, I’m not as smart as you and I can’t keep up with you when it comes to laws and arguments. So, why don’t we forget all of this back and forth. Just tell us what you did and then we’ll let the jury decide.”
And give up my tremendous advantage and stick my head in a noose? This was foremost in her mind, but her heart was stuck on Stu—he had his chin on his chest and his broad shoulders no longer looked strong enough to bear the weight of the world on them. She was hurting him by drawing this out.
“That seems reasonable,” Jillybean said. “But first I want to get something straight right here and now. Stu, I want you to tell me the truth, before God and your fellow man, did you ever love me?”
This was so unexpected that every head shifted to him. He glared back at Jillybean. “Yeah, but that was before…”
“Enough!” Jillybean snapped before he could go and ruin it. “It was a yes or no question. I just wanted to hear it one more time.” Despite the seething glare, she felt warmth spread through her chest. She let the moment linger until Jenn cleared her throat.
Jillybean stood and addressed the entire room, “For the last ten years, we have all sat back and have done nothing as the Corsairs grew in power. We did nothing as towns were sacked, women were raped and sold into slavery, as children were torn from their mother’s arms and butchered in front of their eyes. I did nothing for years. Eventually, I realized someone had to make a stand.”
“Why couldn’t it have been your people in Bainbridge?” Donna Polston asked.
“Because they’re like all of you: farmers or fishermen or scroungers or people who make jelly preserves. They’re not soldiers. I tried to get them to understand the need to make a stand, but they wouldn’t listen.”
Jenn crossed her arms in front of her chest and asked, “Did you try tricking them?”
“Did I try tricking them into doing what was absolutely necessary? The answer is no. Nor did I trick any of you. I did exactly what you asked, Jenn, only I had the foresight to see the repercussions of our actions. They weren’t exactly a secret. No one steals a Corsair boat without them coming after you full force.”
She paused to judge the reaction of the room. What she’d said was so much like an admission of guilt that almost everyone sat in silence, too stunned for words. The few who remained unaffected were divided into two camps: those seething with anger and those who nodded reluctantly, seeing the necessity of what Jillybean had done.
This last group was, unfortunately very small.
“I know some of you think that I hurt you by playing on your ignorance and lack of foresight. The opposite is true. I helped you. How long would it have been before the Corsairs came for you if I hadn’t given them a little help? Six months? A year? And would you have been ready for them? No. The Hilltop would have been crushed in minutes. Alcatraz might have lasted a couple of weeks, and Sacramento had already been taken over. I united you and gave you a chance to fight back. I gave you a chance to live.”
Some of the anger drained from the room and more heads began to nod.
“Your…your excuses are too crazy to believe,” Jenn said. “You make it sound like all of this was preplanned, but you had no idea what was going on with the people in Sacramento. And you couldn’t have known how it was all going to go down. So the way I see it, you threw us to the wolves in the hopes of getting lucky.”
“It was not luck. I became queen because I thought we—me and you and all of us—had a chance to win if I could put my talents to use. I’ve been proven right time and again.”
Jenn wasn’t convinced and she walked straight up to Jillybean until they were nose to nose. “You gambled with our lives and you are still gambling with them. Eve could have poisoned me! It was a gamble that you took without my permission. And you let Eve have that bomb back in Sacramento, once more risking our lives. All you’ve ever done is gamble with all of our lives! You don’t have talent, you have luck.”
Jillybean smiled easily into the girl’s anger. “Okay. You say I am lucky and I say I used my skills to their fullest potential. Either way, I’m a proven winner and without me and my somewhat disingenuous actions, you would all be dead.”
She turned to the seven people watching with slack-jawed attention at the juror’s table. “You have a simple decision to make. It all boils down to whether you want to back someone who has beaten the Corsairs every time she’s gone against them, or do you want to take a chance on Jenn? I think she has all the talents to make a great queen, but she’s still young and inexperienced. And, before you render your decision, you have to know that the war is not over. The Corsairs have been grievously wounded, but not mortally so. We still have battles left before us. The Black Captain will come in person next time. You still need me.”
Mentioning the Black Captain was the icing on the cake. All eyes shot toward Jenn and they were all very dubious.
As Jillybean stood there with the jury nodding along, the room went suddenly dark and she swayed in place. We got this! Eve crowed.
“Not yet,” Jillybean said, under her breath as she went back to where Aaron stood, beaming at her.
“I think you’re gonna win,” he told her. She said nothing and only patted his hand.
It didn’t feel like winning. Stu had not looked up once since she had forced him to tell her he loved her. And Jenn was stoic and grim, except in the depths of her eyes where only sadness remained. She wouldn’t look at Jillybean as she said, “You’ll twist whatever I say, so why bother saying anything at all?”
Since Stu hadn’t moved, Jenn passed out pieces of paper to each of the seven jury members. The vote was going to be by secret ballot, with no time given for deliberation. The seven glanced around at each other and then bent to their papers and scribbled either guilty, not guilty, or, in two instances, “Not Gilty.”
Although Jillybean hadn’t used a fraction of the rhetorical tricks in her arsenal, she liked her chances, and sure enough, the vote came down five to two in her favor.
When the verdict was read by a blank-faced Jenn Lockhart, there came a smattering of applause and a good deal of anxious sighs. Jillybean was still their queen, but her madness was now even
more fully entrenched in their minds, and there wasn’t a single one of them who wasn’t both happy and nervous.
Jillybean was about to mingle with her people to reassure them when familiar darkness came over her vision as Eve swelled in her mind. “No!” Jillybean snarled and wrested control back. Everyone had heard the one word and they all watched her swing a hand in front of her face. It was unsettling and a distraction that Jenn used to pull a gun from her coat.
For the second time in twenty-four hours, Jillybean was confronted with her own Sig Sauer.
“I’m sorry, Jillybean,” Jenn said. She looked like she meant it, which made things all the more confusing. “I have to do this. I may never be a great queen, but I will be a good one, while you,” her head tilted slightly toward one shoulder, “You are great but you’re not good. How many innocent people have you killed?”
“How many have you?” Eve shot back, speaking through Jillybean’s lips. The gun, the trial, Stu’s refusal to even look over at her had made her fragile, and Eve had strolled right in. Jillybean made a huge effort to cling to her sense of self and only partially retained her identity.
“This is a big mistake, Jenn. If you kill me right after I was found innocent, no one will follow you. It’ll tear our people apart and everyone will lose. Is that what you want?”
She shook her head, whipping her auburn hair back and forth. “What I want is the girl I thought was my friend, back. The girl I called queen. But she was a lie. She never really existed.”
“I’m right here. If you can forgive me for leading you…” Jenn stopped her, shaking her head. “Then I don’t know what you should do,” Jillybean said. “Killing me will hurt everyone. On the flip side, forgiving me would…”
“I can’t! The only thing I can do is leave. Here.” She held out the Sig Sauer in one hand and the vial of poison in the other.
Take it! Eve cried. Your only rival is voluntarily leaving. This is a dream come true, Jillybean. Even you have to see there’d be factions if she stays. There’d be distrust and discord, and what then? More trials? Imprisonment? Executions? It’s all inevitable if she stays.
A shiver ran up Jillybean’s spine. It wasn’t inevitable but there was a terrible chance it could happen, especially with Eve around stoking the fires of hate and jealousy whenever she could.
Jillybean didn’t take the gun. She was pretty sure that if it wound up in her hands, Eve would use it. She took the poison back, however. Poison was a woman’s preferred method for suicide and Jillybean didn’t want Jenn to be tempted.
“Where would you go?”
Jenn shrugged and her eyes slipped to the crowd that was watching what was going on with even more amazement than they had the short trial. Jenn was looking for Mike—they would go together and, more than likely, Stu would go as well. Even though he was barely able to stand he would go, rather than be anywhere near Jillybean.
He would head out into the wet and cold, and he would die. They all would. Stu was too weak to run from any zombie and Mike was one more blown stitch from bleeding out. And if they died, Jenn would kill herself even without the poison.
The thought made Jillybean weak and sick. She teetered a moment as the static built up in her mind. A hundred voices were screaming all at once, but just then only one counted, her own.
“No. You stay. I will go.”
Chapter 32
Jillybean/Eve
Jenn did not try to stop Jillybean from leaving. The young woman only stood to the side, a pale, guilty look on her face. There was really nothing she could have said or done to stop Jillybean, apart from forgiving her, something she would never do—her eyes were still hard and uncompromising.
Stu did not make any attempt to stop Jillybean, either. He had not budged from the prosecutor’s table and hadn’t lifted his head, though Jillybean could see that his dark eyes were canted far over; he could see only her stockinged feet.
There were plenty of others who did try to stop her, with Eve being the most demanding of these, Aaron Altman the clingiest.
“I can’t stay,” Jillybean said, contradicting everything she had just told the courtroom. “As much as I’d like to, I can’t. It’s for the greater good. Jenn will be a great queen and she was right. About all of it.” This was a lie, but what could she say as Aaron begged, with tears in his eyes, to come with her. He had to be held back by his mother.
The others, even those who had been rooting against her, crowded around, making it difficult for her to leave the hall. Some reached out to touch her and at least one of them stroked the arm of the soft warm-up suit. She barely noticed. So many people were talking and asking questions that their voices overlapped and she couldn’t understand a single one—and each and every one of them stared.
So many eyes on her. The sheer number was too much and it was all Jillybean could do to keep Eve back. If Eve showed up, things would fall apart quickly. Jillybean ignored the questions and ran through her times tables starting at seventeen times thirteen.
She was stunned by her own words, stunned by her decision, stunned that she was letting her own selfish desire to save her friends get in the way of the greater good. Jillybean walked in a growing daze and Mike had to shove people aside until they came to the cellblocks. He slammed the door behind him and threw a heavy bar across it. The metal ringing went on and on in her head until he took her arm and shook it.
“Hey, can you hear me? I said: where are you going to go?” His voice was a rasp that was so much like the other voices in her head that it caused her to jerk.
“I don’t know,” she replied, in a frightened squawk. The words bounding around the empty cells magnified the silence and when the echo stopped, she felt the dark close in. It crushed her down.
Mike lit a candle and in the sputtering light, he stared so long at her that she eventually looked up. “It was nice what you did,” he whispered. “I just wish it wasn’t necessary, but the rumors were going crazy. It felt like everything was unraveling, you know?”
She shook her head. “Actually, no. I was locked up, remember? But I can guess.”
And so can I. The secret meetings, the conversations carried out in the dead of night. People choosing sides. People stabbing each other in the back. The black lists. And you had the chance to stop all of…
Jillybean bit down on her cheek until she tasted copper. The pain cleared her head. “I guess Jenn did what she had to. I don’t blame her. I just wish…” Stu’s ruggedly handsome face beckoned in her mind. He was at the top of her wish list. “Never mind. I should get going. Do you know where all my belongings are?”
Mike answered, tepidly, “Hmm, belongings. That’s a good question. I know where the clothes you were wearing the other day are, but as for anything else, well, I didn’t know you had much of anything. None of us did. I guess your medbag might be back in the clinic on Yerba Buena.”
The clinic was the last place Jillybean wanted to go with her not-guilty verdict still so fresh. Seeing the shattered lives lined up, gurney after gurney, and the cold corpses stacked like cordwood, would shine the light of truth on that not-guilty verdict. Oh, there would be tremendous guilt.
“I just need the clothes and some food and a gun. Whatever we have here. I just need enough to get to…” Once more confronted with a destination, she drew a blank.
The Corsairs, Eve said. Behind her silky, evil voice coming from the darkness were hissing whispers that sounded like men saying, “I swear, I swear,” over and over again. The voices didn’t come from her imagination, they came from her memory. We’ll free them and be their queen. Then we’ll come back and Jenn will pay for locking us up and we’ll make Stu…
“Far away,” Jillybean said, quickly, gulping for air. “I need to get as far away as I can. And fast. I need a boat.”
“A boat? Well, I don’t know There’s only a few left and we don’t have anyone to crew ‘em, so that’s gonna be a problem. Also, the weather is wicked bad. Maybe I should talk to Jenn before
I let you have a boat.”
There would be no boat. Had Jillybean still been queen, she would never give up one of her three boats for any reason and she was sure that Jenn would be even more reluctant.
Mike left her with one candle to hold back a mighty darkness that was greater than that contained within the prison. It rushed down on her the second that he left. The darkness seemed to go on forever. It was immense and infinitely lonely. It was complete nothingness, empty except for the whispers in her mind and she knew these weren’t real; she barely held on. When he came back, she had to restrain herself from clutching at him.
“It’s not all bad,” he told her, trying to sound upbeat, despite the rasp.
She clung to the first thought that struck her: Jenn was going to let someone come with her. She wouldn’t be alone.
The empty darkness had given her a preview of what her life would be like. She’d be a wandering, solitary individual, abandoned, deserted, forsaken. When her parents had died, she’d been alone for most of a year and it had turned her crazy. What would happen now that she was already crazy?
Inside her, Eve let out a string of harsh, shrieking cackles. I know what will happen. Jillybean saw herself, filthy to the point of disgusting. Her hair was so unwashed and matted that the rain ran off it, and her ratty clothes crawled with vermin. She was kneeling in a cold, spring shower eating the remains of a person and muttering curses at a second fly-blown corpse that wouldn’t stop staring at her with its maggoty eyes.
Jillybean’s hands balled into fists. “Not all bad? That sounds…promising.”
“A little,” Mike agreed.
Eve scoffed, She’s not going to give up anyone. You know what’s not bad in Jenn’s eyes? The poison in your vial. It’ll be quick. It’ll be merciful and isn’t that how you taught her to kill?
When Mike wasn’t looking, Jillybean pinched her forearm as hard as possible until Eve’s laughter was drowned out by the pain.
Mike didn’t notice her grimace as he led her through the cellblocks, mentioning where he and Stu fought the Corsairs to a standstill. As he spoke, she imagined who it would be. Shaina Hale? William Trafny? Both? She was mentally broken, while he was physically so. Together they almost made one person.
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