Alzheimer’s, he thought with helpless anger. It was one of those debilitating diseases with no known cure. The two women spoke softly for several moments, Danielle’s mother nodding cheerfully. Eventually, Danielle gently led the woman over to Mika and introduced them. “Mika, this is my mother, Joanne. Mom, this is my…fiancé, Mika.” He heard the slight hesitation and wondered about it. But instead of asking, he took the older woman’s hand and bowed.
“It is a pleasure to meet you, Ms. Conyers.”
The woman turned and looked at Danielle. “Oh, he’s a handsome one, isn’t he?”
Danielle smiled. “Yes. Very handsome.”
“What’s his name?”
Danielle’s smile froze. “Mika, Mom.”
“Well, isn’t that a nice name,” she agreed. “Would you like a cookie?” she offered.
“Mom, let’s go over here and sit down.” Mika noticed that Danielle didn’t bother to correct her mother on what they were baking. He supposed there wasn’t a huge difference between a biscuit and a cookie though. Both were made from dough.
For the next thirty minutes, Danielle tried to engage her mother in conversation, but the gentle woman just wasn’t aware enough of what was going on to be able to answer. Also, she struggled to come up with the right words. He noticed several times that she tried to speak, but the damage to her brain was such that she couldn’t find the word she clearly wanted.
An hour later, as soon as they stepped through the doors of the facility into the fresh, night air, he took her into his arms. “I’m so sorry,” he murmured. Mika wasn’t sure what else to say other than his sincere regret that Danielle’s mother had been afflicted with such a horrible disease and at such a young age. He led her to the limousine and pulled her onto his lap while his driver drove them back to her house.
“That’s why you were crying the other day,” he commented. “You didn’t tell me what had upset you, but now I know. You’d just come back from visiting your mother.”
“Yes. But sometimes it isn’t as bad. Sometimes she recognizes me and we have a wonderful conversation.”
He tightened his arms around her, silently telling her that he understood, even though no one could really understand until they were in the middle of the issue themselves.
Slowly, she pulled out of his arms and straightened. “Yes. Well, my mother’s health is why…” she stumbled with the words, but he realized that she was trying to take off his ring. “I can’t marry you, Mika,” he told her.
He heard the words, but refused to believe them. “I don’t understand.”
She put the ring in his hand. “My mother…she needs routine. She gets angry, well, furious, when she’s confused. If anything is out of place, she gets frustrated, agitated. Her routines help her get through the day with a bit of happiness. I can’t marry you, because I won’t leave her alone here. And I won’t move her to a new facility either. I won’t disrupt her routines.” She sniffed back the tears, trying to be strong, to do the right thing. “I love you, Mika. But I also love my mother and she needs me now.”
With that, she slipped out of the limousine and hurried into the house, locking the door behind her.
She cried all night. The promise of a real relationship with Mika had been so close, so beautifully close! But when she pulled herself out of bed the following morning, she knew that she’d done the right thing. She owed her mother loyalty. If there was any other way to protect her mother and still marry the man she loved with all of her heart, Danielle would have taken it. But there wasn’t.
Chapter 19
“What’s wrong?” Jayce demanded, frowning as he stepped into her office several days later.
Danielle pulled her eyes away from the computer screen where she’d been trying to fix an error she’d made the previous day.
“Nothing is wrong,” she assured him, but she barely glanced up from her computer.
There was a long silence, then Jayce demanded, “Is your mother okay?”
Danielle’s mouth fell open. Ryker appeared in the doorway. “What did she say? Is it her mother?”
“Stop!” she snapped. Wow! Two big, huge stubborn men coming at her all at once? This was going to be a challenge. “First of all, my mother is fine.”
“She’s not fine. She’s suffering and you take care of her,” Jayce replied with a scowl.
Danielle’s mouth fell open. “How did you know about my mother?” she demanded. She’d kept the issues her mother was dealing with a secret, not wanting to bother anyone with her personal problems.
Ryker shook his head slightly. “Are you kidding, Danielle? You know what we do here, right?”
She blinked up at him. “Well, yes, but…”
“So, you should know by now that there is nothing that can be hidden from us,” Jayce replied.
She opened and closed her mouth. “Okay, but this is personal.”
Ryker touched her shoulder. “Which is why we haven’t mentioned it until now. But you’re hurting and we want to fix this for you.”
Danielle laughed, but the effort turned into a sob and she covered her mouth. With a wave of her hand, she indicated that she didn’t need a hug. Any sort of affection from these big lugs would just send her over the edge from sadness to despair. “I’m fine,” she lied. “Or I will be.”
“It’s Mika, isn’t it?” Jayce growled. “Damn it! I warned him not to hurt you! What did he do? Did he leave you?”
She sort of laughed-sobbed at how furious he was on her behalf. Shaking her head, she sighed sadly. “He proposed to me,” Danielle announced before these wonderful men went all war-like on the love of her life.
When they stared blankly back at her, she smiled gently. “He proposed, but I turned him down. I can’t leave my mother.”
“So bring her with you to Stilan,” Ryker said, as if that were the most obvious answer.
Oh, if only life were so simple! “I can’t. She becomes extremely agitated when her routines are messed with. She gets scared and confused and it takes days for her to recover. I can’t move her. It would upset her routines for…I don’t even know how long it would take for her to recover from a move to a different country.”
Danielle could tell they were pondering solutions. But none of them suggested anything. It was the exact same conclusion she’d come to. There was no way out. She couldn’t hurt her mother, which meant she couldn’t have Mika. Or she could have Mika and abandon her mother.
Neither situation worked.
“But…” Ryker started, only to come to an abrupt halt as he drew a blank.
“I know,” she whispered. They were both such sweet, wonderful men, she thought, blinking back tears. Taking a deep breath, she laid her hand on top of a stack of files. “But right now, I need to get you the reports for the Fogerty contract. The numbers just came in and they are better than expected.” She turned back to her computer, taking slow, deep breaths. It was the only way to manage the pain in her chest. Slowly, the men left her office. She was cold, alone, and aching everywhere!
Over the next several days, Danielle went through the motions. Most nights, she barely slept, but when her alarm went off in the morning, she pulled herself out of bed and dressed in the most professional clothes she had. She was the first one into the office and the last one to leave, apologizing for not going to lunch with Carly and Deni when they asked, insisting she had too much to do.
“You’re working too hard,” Carly announced several days later. “You’re losing weight and the bags under your eyes indicate that you’re not sleeping either. What’s going on?”
Danielle forced a smile, even though she wasn’t feeling it. “Nothing,” she said with brutal, painful honesty. “Nothing at all. Just…I have a lot I’m trying to clean up and get on top of.”
Carly didn’t look convinced. “What’s going on with Mika?” she asked, her voice softening.
Danielle looked away, ignoring the stabbing pain. At least she didn’t break down in tears at he
r friend’s question. But only because she didn’t have any tears left.
“Mika was a lovely interlude, Carly. But it was never going to be a long term thing.” She blinked rapidly, then took a deep breath as the stabbing inside of her chest hit her. She’d learned over the last few days that deep breathing eased the pain, giving it more of a dull, aching sensation.
Carly leaned her hands on Danielle’s desk, looking into her eyes. “I don’t believe you,” she replied softly. “I know that something is wrong. So, when you want to talk, I’m here for you, okay?”
It took several moments for Danielle to respond because she had to swallow past the lump in her throat. But eventually, she was able to croak out a “Thank you,” before turning back to her computer. She pretended to focus on numbers until Carly left, but as soon as she was alone, she sighed and deleted everything she’d just input into the computer. It was all wrong anyway.
One step at a time, she thought. One breath. One moment. Closing her eyes, she reminded herself that Mika had only been a blip on her life. Going in with her eyes open hadn’t helped. She’d still fallen in love with him.
“What did he do to you?” Oz growled.
Danielle jumped and turned to face her doorway again where the giant man loomed angrily. “I’m sorry?”
“What did Mika do to you?”
She noticed that his hands were fisted and assumed that didn’t bode well for Mika’s health. “Nothing,” she answered quickly. “Mika was always an absolute gentleman, always trying to spoil me.”
“But you’re sad. He hurt you.”
Danielle forced her lips to smile. “No, he didn’t hurt me. He never promised anything to me. In fact, he was…” she took a deep breath, trying to think of a way to diffuse Oz’s anger. “He gave me the most wonderful time in my life, Oz. I promise, he didn’t hurt me at all. In fact, he proposed. He wanted to marry me.”
That surprised him and Danielle giggled at his dumbfounded expression. Not many things surprised Oz. He’d been through too much and seen things that most humans shouldn’t ever see.
“So…why the hell are you here? Why aren’t you with him?”
The sadness returned full force and she looked away, sighing with frustration that the world didn’t always make sense. “Because life isn’t always fair,” she told him with brutal honesty.
“Ain’t that the truth,” he grumbled. “Why don’t you want to marry him? He’s a great guy!”
Danielle laughed. “A moment ago, you were ready to kill him. Now he’s a great guy?”
“A moment ago, I thought he’d hurt you. Now I’m hearing another scenario. Are you saying that you hurt him?”
Danielle thought about the grim look on Mika’s handsome face when she’d told him goodbye. “Yes,” she whispered. “I think I hurt him. I’m sorry. I know that he’s your friend.”
He watched her for a long moment, then sighed. “Danielle, I think you messed up. Mika’s a really good man.”
She nodded, blinking back the tears she’d thought were all dried up. “I know. He’s the best man I’ve ever known.”
Chapter 20
“What do you think?” the decorator asked, handing him the pictures. Mika looked at the room, then at the pictures, comparing them carefully. The room and the pictures were identical.
Nodding he turned to the decorator. “Excellent job.”
He picked up the contracts that were sitting on the table, flipping through the agreements with the various people he’d hired over the past few weeks. Some of these agreements would cause problems for others. Selfish bastard that he was, Mika didn’t care. He cared about one thing and one thing only.
“Wonderful. Thank you for your hard work.” Turning to his aide, he asked, “Is my pilot ready?”
The man bowed and nodded at the same time. “The plane is fueled and cleared for takeoff as soon as you board.”
Mika nodded curtly and turned to leave. “I’ll let you know what happens next.”
Several hours later, his plane landed at the Louisville International Airport. His assistants had already called ahead, streamlining the customs process so he could basically walk through the airport from his plane to the waiting limousine. From there, it was a long drive to Danielle’s house. A long time to consider all of the possible outcomes to his solution.
One thing was clear. He couldn’t live without Danielle. He’d tried. For about three hours after he’d left, he’d tried to live without her, to imagine life without her by his side. But that simply wasn’t a tenable situation, so he’d changed plans and figured out a way to make everything work. He had a plan and he was certain that it could be a smooth transition.
The guards he’d left behind to watch over Danielle kept him well informed. She’d come home an hour ago and hadn’t left. His guards had reported when she’d come home from work each day and that she hadn’t left her house for any reason except work. She hadn’t even gone out for groceries in the past week, which is why he’d arranged for someone to fill up her fridge with nutritious foods. He couldn’t stand the idea of her not eating or taking care of herself.
When his limousine pulled up to the curb outside of her house, he nodded to the guard who moved over to speak with him. “She came home at the usual time, Your Highness. She hasn’t left.”
Mika nodded again, his fingers closing over the ring in his pocket. This wasn’t the same one he’d proposed to her with the last time. Remembering the ring on her hand, he knew that he’d chosen too large of a stone. This one was smaller, more perfect for Danielle’s delicate hand. He suspected that she hadn’t liked the other one anyway, so perhaps this one would be better.
When she opened the door, he was startled by her appearance. Her face looked gaunt, as if she hadn’t eaten anything for the past several days. Her hair was tucked into a band on top of her head and her eyes were shadowed and red rimmed.
“Danielle,” he whispered and stepped into the house, pulling her into his arms and holding her. She stood in his arms stiffly for only a fraction of a moment before leaning into him and wrapping her arms around his waist. When she leaned her head against his chest with a quiet sigh, Mika closed his eyes, trying to hold back from carrying her away to take care of her.
“What have you done to yourself?” he asked softly, running a hand up and down her back.
Danielle laughed and hiccupped at the same time, not sure what to say. “Do I look that bad?” she asked.
“Yes,” he whispered.
Another laugh and she pressed her face against his chest. “Thanks.” Pulling back, she tightened her arms around his waist. “Why are you here?”
She’d like to tell him that she’d started the healing process, working to get over him. But that wasn’t true. Every night, she vowed that she wouldn’t cry over him again. And every night, she failed in her efforts. She cried herself to sleep, then woke up in the middle of the night, cold and alone and crying again. Danielle could make it through the work day without bursting into tears or making major mistakes. But as soon as she drove out of the parking lot, the wretched tears would start all over again. Every time she thought that there were no more tears to cry, that they’d all dried up, a memory would flash through her mind and she’d start all over again.
“Would you like some tea?” she asked, more for something to do than because she wanted tea. Having a task might keep her from throwing herself into his arms again.
“That would be nice. Yes.” He followed her into her tiny kitchen and she tried to figure out why he was here. “How are things in Stilan?”
“Lonely. I want you back, Danielle.” He tossed something on her kitchen table and she twisted to look at it while trying to put the kettle on to boil.
“What’s that?” she asked, her eyes narrowing. She put the kettle down and picked up the pictures. Flipping through them, one by one, her confusion increased. Looking up at him, she shrugged her shoulder slightly. “Why did you take pictures of my mother’s facility?”
“That’s not the memory care center where your mother currently lives, Danielle.”
She looked down at the pictures again, confused. “It looks just like my mother’s place.”
“It’s a replica,” he told her. “I had a decorator go into the facility and take pictures. She then re-created the whole thing in a special area of my palace.” He moved closer, taking her hands in his. “I also have employment contracts from several of your mother’s current caretakers. They’ve agreed to move to Stilan and care of your mother in this place so that none of her services or routines are interrupted. We can move her there during the night and she’ll wake up the following morning in the same bed. Well, not the same bed, but a replica of the bed.”
Danielle stared up at him, trying to make sense of what he was saying. “A replica?”
“What’s better,” he continued, “is that you’ll be close by. When your mother is having a good day, you can spend more time with her. When your mother is unaware of her world, the caretakers will let you know so that they can continue to help her through her routines. This will make it easier for you to have a relationship with your mother, Danielle.” He held her fingers. “If this doesn’t work, then I will fly you back here every week so that you can visit her. I just…I need you in my life, Danielle. You’re my heart. You mean everything to me.”
Danielle stared at him, astounded. He loved her? And he’d gone through all of this to help her mother to be comfortable? Why was she even hesitating? He’d done the impossible! He’d figured out how to keep her mother’s routines in place, maintain what she considered a normal day, and Danielle could be with her more often. It was perfect!
For a long moment, she stared down at the pictures again, then looked up into his dark, beautiful eyes. He was so amazing, so handsome and strong!
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