by S M Olivier
The more I was out of the house, the better. I started with Taekwondo and I loved it. As I got older, I realized mom kept me out of the house to keep me from Dad. He worked the night shift, so when I was at school, he was sleeping. When I slept, he was at work. When he was home, I was barely there. One night class was canceled, so I went home early. But I was too late,” his voice was thick. “He beat her to death. I was able to stop him from killing himself, so he’s rotting in prison. I was put in a foster home and I thought I hit paydirt.
They seemed like a nice family. They even signed me up for capoeira. The dad didn’t hit the mom or drink, and the mom baked me cookies. They had an older son; I was eleven and he was sixteen. At first, I thought he was cool. I had been an only child, and he treated me like a younger brother. He would ride bikes with me, spar with me, and he seemed so nice. Then one day he touched me. I was confused at first. I thought maybe I did something wrong. I told the mom, but she said I was lying. She threw everything in my face that they had done for me.
She was going to throw me back into the system. The social worker was scheduled to pick me up the next morning. The teenage boy didn’t like that. He was going to rape me, I knew he was going to. I set my room on fire. My fear of his impending attack must have triggered my gift. It had manifested that night. They took me to the hospital because I caught my sheets on fire and burnt my legs,” he lifted his pant leg up and I could see the faint scarring on his legs.
“The teenager claimed I did it. Which I did, so I was sent to juvie for arson. Pops heard about my case and got me out of juvie; he talked to the judge, and I was released into his care on probation. Pops treated me like a son. He showed me how to use my gift safely.” He cleared his throat. “I never told anyone why I tried to set the bed on fire. I was too scared to. Too ashamed. A few years ago, I found out that same family had fostered four other boys after me.” He looked over at me at this point. “I could have helped those boys if I had only spoken up. He might have raped them. I had a few of my guys start investigating him a month ago and they were too late. An eight-year-old boy just came forward this morning. He said it started for him yesterday. He was brave enough to go to anyone that would listen to him.”
I slid over onto his lap. Sitting astride him. I grabbed his face and looked deep into his tortured eyes. “You had no way of knowing that would happen. You told his mom. It was her responsibility to take care of any children in her household. You were only eleven years old. How were you to know? You can’t blame yourself.”
He shifted, grabbing my hips. “Sometimes, I convinced myself into thinking I was too young to understand the full implication of keeping that secret, but I should have at least tried. Last night when you were telling your story about your piece of shit stepmom not doing anything about those guys, I thought that was me. She was a bystander like I was. Not doing anything about it.”
I softly kissed him on the lips. I don’t know why I did, but it just felt right. “You have to let it go. You can’t do this to yourself. It will eat you alive. How were you to know?”
I saw a fire light in his eyes as he recaptured my mouth. His grip tightened on my hips. I opened my mouth to his exploring lips and drew his tongue deeper into my mouth. Dueling with it. My fingers laced behind his neck. His hands found their way below my shirt and caressed my back in sure strokes.
I made a mewing sound as I arched my body against him.
“You’re wearing too many clothes,” he whispered huskily in my ear.
My hands went to the bottom of my shirt, desperate to feel his bare chest against my own. As I began to lift it, a deep, agonizing pain hit my chest.
“Ahh,” I screamed breathlessly. My chest was tightening. I closed my eyes and I knew, Drake was having his heart ripped out of his chest. Rose had just broken up with Drake.
The passion faded from Troy’s eyes as he gently laid me on my back on the floor. “Dammit, breathe Misty, breathe.” He ran over to the stereo. I wasn’t clear on what he was doing because the pain was too great. I closed my eyes.
“Jax!” I screamed in my head.
I heard Troy repeatedly mutter curse words.
Then there were pounding footsteps on the stairs.
I knew I had moments before I lost all the air in my lungs. Stars lit up behind my eyelids.
“Why isn’t Drake answering?” Jax cursed as he came closer.
“Call Jace,” Will bit out.
“What’s going on,” I heard Jemmy’s panicked voice.
“Get upstairs, dammit,” I heard Noah snap at someone.
I felt cools hands on my face and Jemmy’s voice shrill in my ear. “What’s going on?! Dammit, someone answer me!”
“Jace, it happened again.” Troy’s strained voice said. “No, he’s not answering.”
“He won’t answer my text either.” Jax cursed once more.
“Okay, okay,” I heard Troy say in clipped tones.
“Blake! Blake!” I heard Jace’s imperative voice. “Listen, sweetheart. I need you to listen.” His voice was fading away. Everyone sounded far away. “Blake, sweetheart, remember a time you were happy. You must focus on that happy thought. Think them, and the pain will go away. You can breathe again. Think happy thoughts, Blake.”
I couldn’t think anything happy with this pain raging in my body.
“Blake, remember the day you took Ella to the fair,” his voice was calm, drawing me from my pain. “You saved up your money and you guys hopped on a bus. She said it was beautiful out. Not too hot and not too cold.” His words painted a picture in my head. I remembered that day. I had to save a whole week’s paycheck from the boutique to take her there. She had been begging to go and I wanted to make her happy. “The sun was shining, she said you took pictures in a photo booth, you guys made silly faces, happy faces, stuck your tongues out.” We had laughed a lot that day. It was one of the few pictures I had of us. “You bought her an ice cream cone, vanilla with sprinkles.” She dropped it and I had to buy her another one. “You rode the Ferris wheel, bumper cars, and a wooden roller coaster.” Ella was screaming and laughing the whole time. I felt the tightness begin to abate. “Then you bought some corn dogs. You ate yours with yellow mustard.” She hates mustard. Ella was a ketchup kind of girl. “You won her a mouse at a ring toss game. You got it on the second try.” She had thought I was magical for not using all the rings to get it for her. The stars behind my eyelids disappeared. “She was so tired, you had to carry her to the bus stop.” She had been so happy and carefree that day and every penny had been well spent. I could finally open my eyes. “She told me you were the best big sister ever and she wished you were her mom.”
“She’s awake!” Jemmy cried with excitement, tears rolling down her face.
“Blake, sweetheart,” Jace said soothingly. “How are you feeling?”
I looked around at Jax, Noah, Will, Troy, and Jemmy. They all looked so concerned. How could these people care so much about me, when they just met me? “Better, Jace, thank you,” I said quietly.
Noah picked me up and embraced me. He buried his head in my hair. “You scared me. I thought we had lost you.”
“Me too,” I drew in a shaky breath.
“Take me off the speaker and let me talk to her,” Jace said firmly.
Troy handed me his phone.
“Hello,” I said.
“Hey, sweetheart, are you sure you’re feeling better?” he asked huskily.
“Yes, thank you, you saved my life.” I pushed an unsteady hand through my hair.
He made a noncommittal sound. “I don’t know what’s going on, or how it happened, but I think you may have gotten my gift. Have you tried to use your gift recently?”
“No,” I answered. “I normally used it when I was afraid or angry.”
“Hmm,” he said. “Well, when you go to school, hopefully, they can figure out to show you how to tap into it without fear or panic. In the meantime, if you feel Drake’s emotions again and you feel like it�
�s choking you, you need to think of happy memories, good memories.”
I almost snorted. Until recently, I hadn’t had many of those. “Is that how you control yours? How come do I only feel him? Can’t you feel anyone you want to and push feelings back?”
He exhaled. “Each person is different. Each person has their own ways of tapping into their gifts, you’re going to have to work on what works for you. Maybe when you get a good grasp of all of this, you can reach out to others, push your feelings onto them…”
I sat there taking it all in. Last week I had one gift, now I had two. What was going on?
“You still there?” he asked softly.
“Yes, it’s yeah…it’s a lot to comprehend.” I said quietly back into the phone.
“I know, sweetheart, I wish I was there to try and help you, but I’ll be there soon. Next weekend?” His words warmed me.
“Me too,” I answered him honestly. I had seen him every day for almost a year and even though it’s only been two days, I missed him. “Next weekend,” I added.
He hung up and I was left staring down at Troy’s phone. I was surprised to see me, staring back up at me. I never saw him take this picture of me and it was so raw and beautiful. I was sitting by the fire last night, the blanket bunched around my hips, and the guitar in my lap; I almost looked naked. My curly hair was wildly beautiful as it covered the straps of the bikini, but my cleavage was barely visible above the guitar. My eyes were closed, my head was thrown softly back. He captured me in a moment where I had lost myself in the music, my lips slightly parted. The flames from the fire cast my face in an ethereal glow. I loved it!
I looked up at Troy and he gave me a sheepish grin and shrugged.
“The egg rolls are done!” Ella announced as she came running down the stairs.
Chapter 17
To say Jemmy was pissed at me was an understatement. She hated that we had left her out of the loop for so long. We hadn’t told her Drake and I had connected and most importantly we didn’t tell her about catching Rose with Collin. Luckily, her anger burnt out quickly.
Every hour that passed, anger was replaced by fear. No one could reach Drake, not even Will. Noah had even braved texting Rose and all we received back was a middle finger emoji. Stacey and Rick were asked to go home, I don’t know how they did it, but I’m pretty sure I heard Stacey’s tires squeal as she drove away.
She was mad that Noah wouldn’t tell her why he yelled at her to go back upstairs earlier and pissed that their plans for going to the movies were canceled. Rick had taken it better and I liked him even more. He had already agreed to give me my first tattoo soon and I knew exactly where I wanted it.
I convince Jemmy to help me get Ella in a bubble bath. Her giggling at the bubbles in the tub she could almost swim in was infectious and Jemmy seemed to relax somewhat. We tucked Ella into bed and read her a book. She was soon sound asleep, and we could sneak back downstairs.
It looked like the guys decided we were having a slumber party in the living room. Air mattresses had been blown up so they were lying side by side. I had a feeling they didn’t want to miss Drake sneaking back in.
The guys had been talking quietly as we came downstairs. Jax had his cake, that he hadn’t touched last night, out and ready to be consumed. A movie was on the big screen, waiting for someone to push play.
I had never seen Will in anything but a suit or another version of dressed up clothing. He was obviously worried as well because he had changed into his flannel pajamas. Unlike the guys, he remained in one of the oversized recliners.
“Where are your pajamas?” Noah tried to feign excitement. Like this was an impromptu sleepover and not a stakeout.
“I didn’t get the memo,” Jemmy said with her hand on her hip.
“Well, you got it now,” Jax stated as he threw some popcorn in his mouth.
“Let’s go,” I grabbed her hand and led her back upstairs. I got dressed in sweatpants and a dark tank top and debated whether I should leave my bra on or not. I couldn’t sleep comfortably with it on. I shrugged, it had a built-in bra and for their size, they were surprisingly perky. I placed my bra in the hamper and went to go find Jemmy.
I found her in her room sobbing. She was sitting on the floor clutching a photo in her hands. On closer inspection, I noticed it was a picture of her and Drake. It must have been taken when they first got here because they were both scrawny little kids, with knobby knees and elbows. They were side by side, their heads touching, huge grins on their faces. They looked like babies. It surprising what nine years could do.
“I always tease him, and I’m always so mean to him,” Jemmy sniffled. “I just want him to come home and I will be nice to him all the time.”
I couldn’t help but laugh at her. “No, you won’t,” I stated. “Then you wouldn’t be Jemmy,” I hugged her tight. “He’s going to come home. He needs to lick his wounds and he then he’ll come home.”
Jemmy attempted to wipe her tears away. “You’re right,” she let out a broken laugh. “I wouldn’t be able to stop teasing him, after all, I like to lash out irrationally because I have abandonment issues.”
I could see the seriousness behind her laughter. “We’re all damaged,” I looked at her sternly. “And you don’t have to explain yourself to anyone.”
“My mom was a bitch,” Jemmy bit off. “She was always so harsh with me, but she loved my brother in her own twisted way. That’s why he took it the hardest when she wouldn’t try to figure out his ‘issues,’” she held her fingers up in quotation marks. “She was so quick to sign over her rights to us. She wanted to focus on her career more. She hated coordinating before-school care, after-school care, daycare on our days off, and summer camps in the summer. She never wanted kids, my dad did. When he died, she could tolerate Drake. He was a perfect child, even back then. He got good grades, took care of me, and always loved to please her. I don’t know why he clings to a woman that wanted to ultimately hurt him. He doesn’t know how to take out those scissors and cut them loose. I wish I would have been there this morning. I would have beat the crap out of Rose.”
“You still have a chance to, now let’s go back downstairs before the guys eat all of Jax’s cake.” I gently squeezed her once more.
She brushed her tears away and braved a smile.
As we were walking back down the stairs she said, “Like, did you ever sue that surgeon that left those scars, because they won’t just go away.”
I turned and looked at her, blinking. “Do you seriously think my boobs and rear are fake?”
She shrugged looking confused. “I mean, your boobs are really big and perky for your size.”
The room was silent as we entered it. Jemmy didn’t know how to speak below a yell. The guys were staring at us in stunned silence and Will had the good graces to pretend to find his phone very interesting suddenly.
Jax threw a pillow at Jemmy. “Are you sure you weren’t born a blond? Nobody can be that dense.”
“What?” she asked naively.
“They’re not fake!” Noah sighed in exasperation. “Now, cut that cake Jaxson!”
“Then how-” Jemmy began.
Troy jumped up and pulled her down on one of the air mattresses and put a hand over her mouth. “Can someone please get this girl a piece of cake!” he called.
We had almost eaten the whole cake by the time we were ready to settle down and watch a movie. The guys picked an action movie with some big-time actors. Jemmy had snuggled up with Jaxson and I found myself not minding. Even though she told me she once had a crush on him, it didn’t bother me to see her with him. I know she had no interest in him. She was the closest thing to a best friend I had ever had, and I know she needed the comfort.
The lights had been turned off and Will was almost half asleep in his recliner.
I was sandwiched between Noah and Troy. I felt warm and cozy and my eyes wanted to close because of my lack of sleep the night before and the emotional surge I had felt fro
m Drake.
Troy tucked my head under his chin and whispered. “Go to sleep, we will wake you when he gets home.”
I nodded. “Thank you.” I wasn’t going to argue.
I felt his warm hand slip under my shirt and cup my hip. Noah readjusted himself so he could lay on my stomach. I reached up drowsily and tangled my hands in his hair. I heard his contented sigh as I drifted off to sleep.
I don’t think I slept that long before I felt a gentle shake on my shoulder. I blinked owlishly, looking around. To my right Troy was asleep, his outrageously long eyelashes were fanned across his cheeks, his full lips bowed, softening his appearance; making him look boyish almost. Noah was still sleeping on my stomach, but his hand found its way to my upper thigh. Jemmy was on the opposite side of Noah, with Jax spooning her.
“Blake,” Drake said softly.
I started, and he held his finger up to his lips.
I nodded, understanding that he didn’t want to wake the others. I gently extricated myself from Troy and Noah and followed Drake to the music room. He sat down heavily, and I sat beside him. I studied his face seeing that he looked like he had been crying for most of the day.
“She left me,” he finally said.
I didn’t know what to say so I just nodded, grabbing his hand and linking my fingers with his.
“The weird thing is last night when I saw the guys hugging you, I wanted to be hugging you too. You were so free, so affectionate, and I wanted you to be demonstrative with me, too. Then you opened your mouth and played that guitar and I thought about what a lucky guy I am that the girl that was my nucleus and the girl I was connected to was so beautiful and talented. Who could ask for more?” He swallowed visibly. “Then Rose wouldn’t answer her phone this morning, so I went to go see her. She said we were through. She couldn’t be with me anymore. She said I never gave myself fully to her and I still had my head up in the clouds. She laughed at me and told me to grow up and said that I needed to let go of my hopes of ever finding my connection. She said my gift had always been more important than her. I wanted to deny it, but I couldn’t. My mother left us because of my gift, even if I hadn’t found you, if I had lost my gift, it would be like she had left for nothing. And she was right, I did love her, but I could never really plan a future with her if I didn’t know what my future held.”