Speaking of…
I groaned when I looked down and saw that Hannah still hadn’t texted back. Any second now I’d have to give him directions, tell him where to take me and I…didn’t know.
Man, how sad was that?
As if he knew exactly what I was thinking, Jax looked over at me. “Want to tell me why you can’t go home?”
I pressed my lips together. No. Not really. But, when he phrased it like that…I sounded like an abandoned cat or something. I didn’t want him leaping to the wrong conclusions, either. I cleared my throat. “It’s not a big deal,” I said. “My mom just has a date and…” Ugh, so gross. “He’s spending the night.”
Jax winced. “That sucks.”
I shrugged. “It is what it is.”
He arched a brow. “Your mom told you to stay away? ‘What it is’ sucks.”
I gave a snort of laughter. “Fine. It sucks.” I shrugged again, flashing a smile that I didn’t feel. “But it’s not unusual and I don’t really care.”
His head fell back with a groan.
“What?”
“Do you know you managed to go a full half hour without doing that.”
“Doing what?”
He sniffed and tossed imaginary hair as he flashed a horrifying grimace that was clearly supposed to be a smile. “It’s fine. Everything’s great. I’m Rose Parson and my life is perfect.”
He sang that last part in a ridiculous falsetto that had me laughing even as I punched his arm. “I don’t talk like that.”
“No but you do act like that.”
I opened my mouth and nothing came out because…yeah, I totally did. It was just that no one called me out on it being an act.
No one ever despised me for it.
“Fine. Maybe I do,” I said. And for some reason I could never explain, I blurted out, “It’s nothing personal.”
He slowed the car and for a second I thought he might be stopping, but he just turned on his blinker and made a right.
We were not heading toward my house. Or Hannah’s. We were heading in the opposite direction. “Where are you taking me?”
“My house.”
I blinked. I realized I’d never been to his house before. I didn’t even know where he lived. “Wait, your house? I told you, I—”
“Relax,” he said. “You can just hang there until you hear from your friend. And if she doesn’t get back to you, I’ll take the couch.”
I wanted to argue. I really did. Except…where else was I supposed to go?
He pulled into a driveway in front of a house that was small and weathered. The lights were all off. “Is everyone asleep?” I asked.
“Let’s hope so,” he muttered under his breath.
I remembered what he’d said earlier about how he’d become friends with Simone. “Your parents are still together?”
“Oh yeah.”
“Happily?” I hedged.
He shot me a cute little smirk that made my belly flip at the same time my heart ached for him. That was a look I understood well.
“Depends on the time of day,” he said slowly as he opened his car door. He was around on my side and opening my door for me before I could argue that I didn’t need his help.
“Thanks. I’ll, uh…I’ll just try Hannah again.”
“No rush.” He reached for my hand and led me to the front porch, placing me on a cushioned swinging bench before joining me. The bench was too small for both of us so we were pressed together. I tried hard not to notice. But, like I’d said earlier…I was only human.
And he smelled divine.
He smelled like sweet, beautiful memories and first kisses and an incredibly brief period of time when I’d been so ridiculously, naively, giddily happy. All of that just from his scent, his warmth, the feel of him pressed against my side.
Despite the chill in the air, I was hot. My headache was still there but it was overshadowed by this dizzy, heady fog. I couldn’t quite catch my breath.
And when his hand captured mine in his, I stopped trying.
My breath caught in my chest, right alongside my rapidly racing heart.
What was happening here? This wasn’t the way this night was supposed to go.
I was supposed to be in control, and instead I was…raw.
My nerve endings felt exposed and I shivered as a breeze whipped the loose strands of hair around my face.
It wasn’t just the fact that he was holding my hands, it was all of it. The way we’d talked, the way he’d looked at me…
The way he’d seen me.
I drew in a quick gulp of air as the butterflies in my belly went buck wild, the traitorous little buggers. I didn’t know if it was nerves, or anticipation, or just plain terror. Maybe it was all of the above.
Whatever it was, it made me feel like I was losing touch with reality.
“Rose…” My name was a gentle caress on his tongue. His low voice was beautiful and gravelly and filled with some emotion I couldn’t name.
I kept my gaze fixed on our intertwined hands, like I could find the answers to this confusing mix of emotions in the way our fingers laced together.
“Rose,” he said again, but this time he reached his free hand toward me and gently tipped my chin up as he leaned in and…
He kissed me.
The kiss was soft and sweet and it made my heart ache with a million conflicting emotions. His fingers on my jaw were light, his hold gentle.
He held me like I was precious.
His lips moved over mine softly, his breath a warm breeze against my tongue as my lips parted for him as if we’d done this a million times before.
His tongue teased my lips, exploring and tasting as if this was the first time we’d ever kissed.
First kiss.
The memory of my first kiss—so perfect and so sweet—it mingled with the present moment until I didn’t know where I was or what I was doing. I was lost in the sensations, in the emotions that made a kiss feel like a life-changing event.
When he pulled back, he groaned. “I’ve wanted to do that for so long.”
Me too.
His words pierced the hazy dreamlike fog of perfection and romance, and all at once it came back to me.
Why I was here. Why I was with Jax. Why I’d gone to that stupid party in the first place…
I pulled back so quickly his hands fell and his eyes widened. “Rose, are you—”
“What am I doing?” I whispered it to myself on a rush of air as my heart plummeted into my stomach.
I was a fool. I was such a fool.
He’d planned this from the start. I’d heard him with my own ears less than an hour before saying that he didn’t think I had a heart.
He didn’t like me. He didn’t even respect me. He sure as heck didn’t have real feelings for me. But just now, for a little while there…
He’d fooled me into thinking this was more. That I was more.
And for that I hated him.
I met his confused gaze and felt my stomach churn with bitter disgust—but whether I was most disgusted by him or myself, I couldn’t say. “I have to go.”
“Wait, where are you going to—”
“Not your problem,” I said, my voice cold as ice, my mind finally taking control for once tonight. I snatched up my discarded phone and breathed out a sigh of relief when I saw that Hannah had texted back. I didn’t waste time trying to text, I hit her number and let it ring, ignoring Jax’s voice behind me as I walked away.
“Hannah,” I said loudly enough for him to hear. “Thank goodness you’re around. Look, I’m kind of stuck in a nightmare over here. Think I could get a ride?” I shot one last look over my shoulder to see a stunned Jax watching me, but he made no move to stop me.
“Awesome,” I said, not really hearing Hannah’s response over my pounding heart but counting on my friend to save me when I needed her most. “Texting you the address right now.”
14
Jax
Come
Monday I was still trying to figure out what had happened.
By Tuesday I was ready to believe the kiss had been a dream.
By the end of the day on Wednesday I knew for certain—the girl was not speaking to me.
Being ignored by Rose was an entirely new experience.
I didn’t like it.
Oh sure, we’d gone our separate ways these past two years, but she’d always been around. At school. In my life. On the periphery, perhaps, but that counted.
I knew that now.
Because now she was nowhere to be seen.
I didn’t hear her laughter in the hallways or from across the cafeteria. I didn’t catch her flirty smile or see her strutting down the hallway like it was her own personal catwalk.
I was sure she was still doing those things, just…nowhere near me. She seemed to be going out of her way to avoid me.
And that…killed me.
I’d thought watching her walk away sophomore year had stung. Okay, fine, it had hurt like heck. But this…this was worse.
I’d kissed her.
I’d kissed her and that kiss had meant something.
To me, at least.
Maybe it shouldn’t have. I hadn’t meant for it to. I hadn’t even meant to kiss her in the first place. I didn’t even like the girl, but then…
Ugh, I didn’t even know what happened. One minute I despised her. She was the embodiment of everything I couldn’t stand. Shallow, flakey, superficial and vain… And then she wasn’t.
Like the world had been flipped upside down, the girl I’d thought I’d known was replaced by someone else. Someone real and honest and…snarky.
A girl I remembered.
Someone I liked. A lot.
Too much.
She’d been genuine and relatable and for the first time in a very long time. Heck, the first time since Simone had invited me to her house and we’d forged our friendship—I’d felt a real connection.
But what I’d felt wasn’t friendship. Or…maybe it was? But that kiss…
That had not felt like the kiss of a friend. That kiss had been electric. I’d been on fire ever since. Between the bizarre connection in the car and then the intensity of that kiss, I’d been reeling for days.
I couldn’t make sense of the change in her. I couldn’t begin to explain what had happened between us. Whatever it was, it had been intense but fleeting, and I was honestly starting to wonder if it had all been in my head.
I scrubbed a hand over my face as the sounds of the guys eating lunch around me broke through my angst. That’s what this was. I was angsting. Over a girl.
Oh crap, maybe I was brooding like a Salvatore. I sighed into my soda. I was a freakin’ cliché.
And it was all her fault.
I sighed heavily as I glanced over to her table in the cafeteria, but her friend Hannah was sitting with some of the other girls from the soccer team and Rose was nowhere to be found.
“How’s it going with Rose?” Ryan smirked at me from his end of the table.
My hands clenched into fists.
I wanted to punch that smirk right off his smarmy face. I never had been a big fan of Ryan’s. We shared the same friends, we went to the same parties, but I’d never really liked him.
I definitely didn’t like that Rose had chosen to date this turd. And the fact that he was the one who’d gotten me into this current brooding disaster? That seemed like reason enough to beat the ever-loving crap out of him.
The goon had the nerve to laugh in the face of my silence. “That good, huh? Funny, after you were all over her the other night, I haven’t seen her anywhere near you.” He looked to his friends. “Looks like I’m gonna be the winner, huh? You know she asked me to help her with the fair—”
“She asked all of us, Ryan.” Andrew kept his voice mild and his head down. “We’re all taking part in that…kissing booth.” The normally laid-back pitcher sounded so disgusted by a kissing booth that even I had to laugh.
“You’ve got to admit. She’ll raise a lot of money.”
“It’s smart,” Ryan said. He wore this little smile that was all proud boyfriend and yeah…I was absolutely going to have to kick the crap out of this guy. He leaned back in his seat and his gaze locked on me. “Poor thing’s just looking for an excuse to kiss me again.”
Rage shot through me at the thought of it. It was stupid jealousy, a possessiveness that, if I were being honest, I’d felt toward Rose ever since our brief fling two years ago. It was that voice that said mine every time I saw her strutting around these halls. It was the flare of anger that I’d gotten used to ignoring every time I saw her flirting with another guy or worse…dating one.
“You had your chance, man,” I said, forcing a calm I didn’t feel. I aimed for the sort of laid-back smirk I knew would drive him nuts, but judging by the stares aimed in my direction, I hadn’t quite nailed it. “You blew it.”
Ryan’s nostrils flared as his eyes narrowed in warning. “And, what? You think she’s gonna give you a second chance? You’re dreaming, bro. She’s just playing you. She’s gonna get you all twisted up, wrapped around her little finger, and then she’s gonna drop you…just like she did before.”
Andrew sighed, straightening in his seat. Ryan’s friends were watching us with barely concealed eagerness. They’d love nothing more than to see this turn into a fight, but Andrew… He was the peacemaker and he was shaking his head in my direction now. Giving me a look that said, drop it, man. Let it go.
I didn’t want to. But at the same time… Ryan’s words were getting to me. They were exactly what I was thinking about him. He was a fool to think he had a chance. And he was right, that’s exactly what she’d do if Ryan tried to get back in her good graces. She’d tease and flirt and make his head spin with her charm and charisma and…
It would all be an act.
My heart thudded painfully in my chest. It had all been an act, every second of her time with me at the party, all that laughter and flirting by the fire.
But in the car…that had been real.
Right?
I met Andrew’s stare evenly before turning back to Ryan. “You’re right,” I said, the words feeling like shards of glass in my throat. “That’s exactly what she’d do.”
And she had done that. To me.
It had all been an act.
My mind flashed back to that kiss. Oh, who was I kidding? There was a part of my brain that had never left that kiss ever since it happened nearly a week ago. I’d been stuck there, trying to figure it out, reliving it, trying to make sense of it…
But it was time to let it go.
I stared down at the table. Yeah, that was way easier said than done. What I needed was some sort of resolve. I needed closure.
Because apparently I was a pathetic little ball of angst and now I needed freakin’ closure. Man, I disgusted myself right now. No wonder Simone had opted to ditch lunch in favor of working on the fundraiser.
I lifted my head with a start. She was working on the fundraiser and…that was almost definitely where Rose would be right now.
I pushed my chair back so quickly it screeched against the floor making several people look my way. Let them look. I had a girl to see and answers to get and…
Hopefully lips to kiss.
But first, answers. And I sure as heck wasn’t going to get them by sitting here listening to Ryan talk.
A few minutes later I spotted Simone on the stage, along with some of her art buddies, painting a sign of some sort.
I didn’t have to search for Rose. The girl would stand out in any crowd, with or without the purple hair. Even if she had a brown paper bag over her head and lost the few inches that made her taller than most—she’d still be my very own magnet.
My eyes sought her out, my hands itched to reach for her, and my heart…
It did something. I didn’t exactly know what.
It was a first for me.
I was just happy to see her after being ghosted
these past few days, that was all. She half turned while talking to one of her friends, and I knew the moment she spotted me.
I felt it. I could literally feel her gaze, I could practically touch her attention. It had always been that way with her, though.
It didn’t mean anything.
She had a power I wasn’t even certain she fully understood and the force of her personality was overwhelming. It was…beautiful.
I swallowed as she walked toward me slowly, her expression giving nothing away.
That charisma? It was also a little terrifying. Especially right now when I couldn’t tell what she was thinking or feeling. Was she happy to see me? Annoyed that I’d interrupted her meeting? Or was she just as confused by that kiss and wondering—
“You’re late,” she said as she drew close, a mischievous smile curving her lips as her eyes danced dangerously with laughter.
I tensed. This was…not what I’d expected. Not that I’d known what to expect. “I’m late?” I braced myself for the kiss on the cheek that I was starting to think of as the kiss of death. It was a kiss that said ‘hey, friend’ and it was a gesture she did to show a guy exactly where he stood.
Namely, in the friend zone.
But then again… She kept one hand on my bicep as she leaned back to meet my gaze.
“I’m late?” I said again.
Stupid. I sounded so stupid. I sounded like a braindead idiot and right now, I was. I totally was. Her hair was sliding out of a tight bun atop her head and somehow that tousled messy look made my mouth water. I wanted more than anything to pull her close and kiss her. Hold her. Tell her I was sorry for trying to get close to her for all the wrong reasons…
Although, maybe I wasn’t sorry, because Ryan’s stupid challenge got her back in my life and I’d missed her.
Crap.
I stared at her blankly as she tilted her head to the side and peered up at me.
I’d missed her.
How did I not realize that before?
She bit her lower lip and batted her lashes. “Yoo hoo, anybody home?”
“Sorry,” I said quickly. “I, uh…I wanted to talk to you and—”
Kissing the Player (The Dangers of Dating a Diva Book 1) Page 12