by K. F. Breene
As we rounded the barn Adam stopped, motioning everyone on. William, now in the lead, gave a miserable glance around, noticed everything was already squared away, and stopped in confusion. He wouldn’t meet Adam’s eyes, so in his uncertainty he glanced around the area, probably waiting for Adam to step up and lead the way.
He looked through the barn at the cleaned out stalls, he noticed the properly hung and put-away equipment, and finally, after eight long heartbeats, his eyes landed on the mean little sucker, currently looking at us all like he was plotting our deaths.
Seriously, I wouldn’t have cried if that mean little bastard was made into hamburger!
William quirked his head into the bull’s angry stare, probably trying to figure out why a mean little bull was in a horse paddock, before he turned his whole body to face it. He dropped his head.
“I’ve been a righteous ass,” he muttered.
“You sure fuckin’ have, man!” Adam seethed. “You got no idea what that woman went through to get that for you! Spending every last cent, dressin’ up like--”
“Adam!” I yelled to cut him off.
Adam shook his head. “Sorry Jess, but I will have my say. It can wait, but dad-gum it I will have my say.”
Adam kicked at the ground, turning to stomp away. Two steps into it, he spun back around.
“You know, Jessica, you’re the only one that trusts me. I got that one,” he pointed at Lump, “thinkin’ I’m gunna kill her or some damn thing, when all I really wanna do is to hold her and protect her.” Lump’s eyes got wide. “Then this one,” he turned to William, who still had his head bowed, “thinkin’ I’m off with his girlfriend doin’ the unspeakable, when I would saw off my arm for either of you. Thinkin’ I would fuck up family. Fuck that!”
He spat, his face a livid shade of red, before turning on his heel and strutting off.
Lump went the other direction, giving William and I a moment.
“Well,” I said half-heartedly, “I really didn’t mean to bring this much drama with the gift, but Merry Christmas.”
William quietly contemplated the color of dirt. He hadn’t moved.
I thought I would just ramble on until something happened. “Lump and I did have to dress like sluts for that old man. So you had the slut part right, though I don’t know where you got the Colorado part. I had to tell that old guy that you were horrible, too. Hope you don’t mind. He was thinking he wasn’t going to sell it and I had to get on his side.”
I paused for a reaction. I got silence.
Please don’t dump me. Please don’t dump me.
“And I did have to come to Adam’s a lot because he made me feed and water it, and check on it. Don’t know why he couldn’t just do it, but he said I needed to take responsibility because it is technically mine—but I’ll get it transferred over when we get back to Adam’s. Lump wouldn’t do it, either—I think they were torturing me for something. Or maybe laughing at me. Actually, probably laughing at me, because that bull is a spiteful little shit and he scared the crap out of me when he stomped and threatened to come after me. I’m probably on candid camera.”
Pause. Still silence.
“You might have to stud him out, or whatever, to Adam a couple times for helping. We had to use his trailer and he said you had a good eye for ani...”
William had turned around to look at me. His eyes were glassy and he was looking like I was water to a man lost in the desert.
“Can you ever forgive me?” he said sorrowfully.
Me, having turned into a mushy girl somewhere along the way, starting crying and ran to hug him.
“I’m sorry I didn’t just tell you! I almost did a million times, but I didn’t want to ruin the surprise! I worked hard to get it here and I wanted to give it to you Christmas day.”
He held me fiercely. “I will never distrust you again. I am so sorry, Jessica. I keep doing these stupid things. What a fool I was this past week. I thought you would leave me. I truly did.”
He was breathing deeply, trying to maintain control of himself. He started laughing then and pulled away.
“You are a piece of gold,” he said, stroking my hair. “How did you do this? Wait, let me go have a word with Adam first then we’ll talk about your bull.”
“Your bull. The papers are back at the house. It hates me. I don’t want it.”
William smiled, kissed me tenderly, then stalked off toward Adam.
Lump came back over. “Well, it worked out in the end.”
We started walking toward the bull when we heard Adam yelling. We both turned as one to see Adam’s fist connect with William’s face, sending him flying. We both ran toward Adam yelling for him to stop.
Adam stood looking down at William, William’s arms out to the sides in the dirt.
“Are you sure I deserved all that?” William asked through a cut lip. He was grinning, of all things. “You might have knocked a tooth loose.”
“Yeah, you deserved that, you egotistical asshole. If Jessica were smart she’d kick you in the nuts and leave your ass.” Adam's chest was rising and falling in a fast pant.
“She would at that. She had to deal with more than you. Don’t know why she didn’t leave me, just glad she isn’t as sensitive as you.” William chuckled.
“Yeah,” Adam said, bending down to help William up.
Lump just shook her head with a grin. “You did deserve that, Willie. I think Adam gave you one for him and Jessica, though.”
“Adam pull a punch? It would be nice, but it ain’t gonna happen,” William said, staggering.
We walked over to the bull.
“He’s a beaut, Willie,” Adam praised after a second. “I tried to talk Jess outta gettin’ it for ya, thinkin’ it was some harebrained idea.”
“I’m glad she’s stubborn then,” William responded, putting his arm around me. “News of me trying to get this little guy reached Donnie in Colorado. I heard he was going to come out and try to get ‘em. That’s why I thought it went to him when I couldn’t find the two sluts with four heifers between them.” He winked at Lump, who rolled her eyes.
“Thank you, love,” William said softly down to me. “This is the best present you could have given me. Too much, way too much, but better than anything. Donnie would have gotten him for sure if you didn’t act. And thanks, Lump, thank you Adam. This is huge.”
“I didn’t do it for you,” Adam stated, obviously still sore. “I did it for Jess. And after seeing him, I did it for a couple waved stud fees.”
William nodded in joy. “I can’t believe you got him!”
We walked back to the house, William having a split lip but a hop in his step. He was like a little kid excited about his new toy.
Once in the house I ran out to get the gifts for Lump and Adam. Lump also had gifts to give and handed those out. Adam went into the back room and got gifts as well.
“Am I the only one that showed up empty handed?” William asked, befuddled.
“Yup.,” Lump said as she handed him a package.
Lump was delighted with what I got her and was thinking of places to hang the bag. I opened hers and it was this perfume I wanted when I was back in L.A. I had forgotten all about it. I opened it immediately and sprayed everyone, much to the chagrin of the boys.
“Jessica.” Adam's voice was filled with awe. He was handling one of the boots like it was made of porcelain. “These are handmade... These are made by... How did you get my measurements?”
“Your girlfriend. She wasn’t happy to do it, but I explained that it had to be done, and unless she wanted me to drug you and take them myself, I would be much obliged if she would help me out.”
He laughed loudly. “That’s why she suddenly don’t like you. Did you try to strong arm her?”
“Yeah, sorry. I needed those measurements.”
“Jesus, Willie, she’s as bad as you when she wants something.” Adam laughed harder as he was slipping his foot into the boots.
“Ohh
hhh Jessie girl! These are niiiiiice.” He took two steps and whipped me up into a hug, then planted a wet kiss on my cheek. Still hugging me, he turned to William in a defiant look. “I have half a mind to take her to the bedroom.”
“Ew, Adam. And you are squeezing too tight.”
“Oh sorry.” Adam gently put me down, mussing my hair.
I huffed. He grinned back and play kicked at William, who was shaking his head and admiring whatever Adam had given him.
Then I heard a loud gasp. I turned to Lump.
In her shaking hands was the necklace she admired from the jewelry store. She shook her head and looked up at Adam with tears in her eyes. “Adam, I can’t. It’s too much.”
He crossed the room slowly and took the necklace from her hands. He kneeled behind her and secured it.
“It was made for you, Betz. It wouldn’t look as good on anyone else.”
“It’s too much, Adam. I’ve been so horrible to yo--”
“Hush, now,” Adam said softly.
She gingerly laid a hand to her neck, lightly touching her rare treasure.
“Please accept it, Betz. I want you to have it. As a gift, as something that was made for you, and as an apology for causing you harm.”
Her tears overflowed. She stood up, lips quivering. She bent to him, hauling him up by his hand. When they were both standing, facing each other, she looped her arms around his neck and gave him a tight, lingering hug.
William watched the scene with fascination and a knowing smile. I pushed him to get him to look away. He mouthed to me- He’ll be single in a week!
I opened my last package. It was a picture of a BMW torn in half.
“That knucklehead,” Adam said into my confused staring, pointing at William, “was supposed to give you the other half at the same time.”
“I didn’t know we were doing all this right now!” William said in defense.
“Wait. You guys got me a car?”
“Yeah. He wouldn’t let me get you the whole thing. He didn’t want my gift to be better than his.” Adam grinned.
“Oh-my-god-shut-up! Seriously? You got me the car? Yay!” I hugged William first, then hugged Adam. Then I hugged Lump just because. Best present ever! And so needed! Now I could afford that danged bull without feeling so pinched!
“Way over the top, you guys!” I said without any idea of refusing it. I was pampered—I would live with it.
“Alright, we better head. Jessica takes forever to get ready,” William said with a smirk.
“You just wanna tell yer dad about your new toy.” Adam laughed.
It must’ve been true, because the second William got outside he excused himself to quickly go get a snap shot of his bull with his phone.
Lump was saying good-bye to Adam on the porch while I waited in the car.
“I don’t know how to thank you, Adam,” she said softly, looking at him through her lashes.
“Stop hating me.” He gently grabbed her hand.
“I don’t hate you.”
“Then stop fearing me. I won’t never hurt you, Betz. Not ever.”
“But...how can I know that?”
“Because I am giving you my word. How could you know with anyone? We only got our words and our promises. And our trust. You can trust me, Betsy. You could always trust me. I didn’t understand you, but I always respected you.”
“But your past--”
“Is the same as yours. If anyone knows how important it is to be good to one another, it’s us.”
They held eyes for a long moment, he holding her hand softly. With a small shake of her head, she turned away, eyes downcast. She made her way to her seat in the car lost in thought.
Adam watched her without expression, then turned and walked into the house without another word.
“Okay, let’s do this!” William exclaimed, eyes bright, lip bleeding. He’d completely missed the scene on the porch.
After we’d dropped a quiet Lump at Gladis’s, William asked that I drive my car, yay!, over to his house so we could use the extra trunk space, and let Lump drive it home from the Christmas thing.
William walked me over to my car touching me inappropriately for public eyes. I was laughing, trying to shake him off, when I opened the car door and saw the pink slip. William leaned in close and whispered, "Merry Christmas, my love."
I tried to stop squealing enough to kiss him. I might be closer in age to adulthood than adolescent teen, but I still had my hang-ups.
As I opened the door to climb in, William said, "Wait, Jess. Um..." He looked at me with embarrassment.
“A lady never says ‘um.’”
William smiled, still looking uncomfortable. "So...being the ass that I am, I was thinking I would be a lonely loser about now."
"Yeah, we still need to talk about that." I gave him a firm look, allowing no arguments.
"Welllll, ah... you know how I like to spoil you, because, you know, I like to see you excited and you are so easily excited--"
"—and because you can, uh huh?"
"Right. Okay, well, I couldn't be outdone by Adam so I wanted to get you a little something else."
"You got me plenty! A new freaking car, William!”
"Still. So I wanted to get you a little something else. And I was... worried that it was the last time I could make you happy..."
"Okay, you are starting to sound ridiculous."
"I'll explain someday--"
"Today."
"—but...well, I might have gone a little overboard."
William’s normal gifts were overboard. I was nervous to see what he thought was too much. And a little excited.
At his urging, I climbed into the driver’s seat. Immediately I saw sparkle taped to the ignition. It was two beautiful diamond earrings. I put them on immediately, only to spy a large box through the rear view mirror.
It was a laptop! The latest and greatest! Even the box was light. High-tech!
I turned to grab it but immediately got distracted by two handbags, both high-fashion. Each was filled with more presents.
“William, what…’
Gifts were everywhere. Jewelry boxes, lingerie, shoes—he even got me the romantic comedy I made him watch one rainy day. Among the treasure trove was a CD, homemade.
Everything had a connection to me, my attitude, something we shared together, or something I had said. He had obviously latched onto all the memories he loved and bought gifts for them.
I looked at him wide eyed for a second, not knowing what to say. He was looking back, love oozing around his obvious embarrassment. Way overboard. Unrealistically way overboard. Extremely touching, but too much. I wasn’t comfortable accepting this much money for any reason.
“William--”
“Don’t say anything,” he interrupted quickly, knowing what I was about to say. “I had hoped that you would go through each of the gifts and realize what you were losing. That you would remember all the things we had. I tend to get carried away when things don’t go my way...”
“You are insane, do you know that?”
“Yes,” he mumbled with a red face.
“This is all going back, too, you know that, right?”
“Half of it isn’t returnable. The other half...well, I won’t tell you what stores they’re from. I want you to remember the things I love about you; about us. I just wish I wasn’t such an idiot about the whole thing.”
“In all fairness...you had really valid points. I would’ve been thinking the same thing. Difference is, I might’ve given you a flaming bag of dog poop instead of a collection of exquisite gifts, but you are a better person than I am. I accept that. But… not only lack of trust in me, but also in Adam? What gives?”
William sighed. His clear blue eyes turned cloudy as they looked inward. “Let’s talk about this later. We have to get ready.”
“I won’t forget.”
“Oh. I know. Trust me. You’ll latch on this like a dog on a bone.” He walked back to his
car, shaking his head.
“As long as you remember that!” I yelled after him.
By the time I reached his house, I’d listened to some of the mix and scanned over the rest. I was deeply affected by his choices. It was all songs from our most tender or memorable moments. Some were from before we were together, and I still remembered those dances or touches like they were yesterday. How different those small things looked from this side. How blind I had been for his deep regard for me. And how deep that regard!
After we were showered and changed, and as we were in the car to pick up Lump, I went for it.
“So...Adam?”
“Another time.”
“William, I have to know. This almost broke us. Kinda.”
His face fell. “You remember Dezeray?”
“Trying to forget her, actually.”
“Be nice.”
I answered in silence. It was as nice as I would get.
“Dezeray and I were together for about a year before she developed an...attachment to Adam. She started trying to sit next to him, talk to him, get to know him. I thought nothing of it since he was a friend of mine. By our second year she was showing up to a few places he would be, without me. By our third year…”
William’s jaw clenched. He waited until he turned a corner before he kept going. “By our third year she went to his house a couple times. Alone. I’m sure I don’t have to tell you why.”
“Did you flip?” I asked in hushed horror.
“I didn’t know. He didn’t tell me right then. He’d rebuffed her and she’d been embarrassed—begged him not to tell me.” William shrugged. “Finally, though, she said his name...while we were...”
“No!”
“I went immediately to Adam, thinking he’d had my girlfriend. I slapped him one good one before I even said I was pissed.”
“You slapped him?”
“Punched him.”
I nodded, waiting for more.
“Anyway, he didn’t fight back. He laid on the ground and asked what was going on. He knew, of course. I told him what happened, and he slowly got up, hands up to ward me off. He told me he hadn’t touched her, but that she had showed up at his house a few times.
“I confronted her, of course. I was deeply in love with her. It was my first love, after all. I wanted to make it work. We talked it out. She’d said she wanted me. But she never stopped looking at him, probably dreaming about him. It killed me that I wasn’t good enough for her, but Adam was.”