by Ali Winters
“I didn’t lie,” I say quietly. “I never admitted or denied anything.”
Eyes widening a fraction, Lawrence snarls. Arinah’s power surges, making his eye glow red.
“My loyalty isn’t to you,” I snap.
His anger is palpable, but underneath it all is a broken heart. He’s also Alaric’s friend.
I push off the bed and cross the room to when he stands. He’s as still as a statue. I clasp his hand in both of mine. He stiffens at the touch but doesn’t pull away.
Taking another deep breath, I say, “I am sorry. I know it doesn’t excuse what I did, but please understand. I was raised to believe all vampires were vile monsters. It never occurred to me that we are not so different.” I shake my head. “I regret hurting Alaric, and you, with my actions.”
“I should kill you for it.” His threat is hollow and filled with pain with no force behind it. “The only reason I don’t is for Alaric’s sake.”
I step into him, wrapping my arms around his waist and resting my cheek against his chest. It’s awkward to initiate a hug with a man I barely know, made even more uncomfortable because he’s just standing with his arms limp at his sides.
I have been hugged more by Alaric than anyone else in my life. If there’s one thing I’ve learned from him, it’s that vampires seem to communicate more with physical touch than humans do.
After a long moment, Lawrence lifts his arms and returns the embrace. He relaxes into me, and we stand like this for a long time.
“I loved her…” he whispers into my hair.
“I know.”
Chapter Eighteen
Clara
I sit up and stare into the dark void surrounding me. My breath forms white plumes of air. Cold seeps into my muscles, making them stiff and clumsy when I push my blanket away. Squinting into the shadows, I will my vision to focus.
Distant whispers come from all directions in a language I don’t know. Finally, a thin sliver of light shines through the slit of a window, allowing me to see.
I don’t recognize this place, the small room or the broken down dresser. At first, I think I’m back in Littlemire, but the bed is too small, the window is wrong, and Kitty is not snoring softly at my side.
It takes me several seconds to shake off the cobwebs from my sleep-addled mind. Disappointment and a prickle of fear accompany the truth as everything comes flooding back.
The corner nearest the window remains shrouded in the pitch dark. I know that there is nothing there but shadows. Still, I can’t tear my gaze away as the unsettling feeling of being watched presses down on me. My blood runs cold.
I stare into the impenetrable darkness, unblinking. Shapes seem to sway and move. I can’t tell if it’s my imagination or if someone or something is there.
The whispers gradually become louder. Then, from the soft melee, three clear words breakthrough. “Come to me.”
There’s a demon in my room. They come to me at night when I am alone and asleep, and my mind is vulnerable. They dig their claws into my unconsciousness and grab hold before I wake.
“Why?” The question comes out more of a breath than a fully formed word—a single word to ask a multitude of questions. Why would a demon summon me? Why should I go to them? Why am I haunted by demons?
They nod. Moving from the shadows, they float across the room, passing effortlessly through the door.
“I can give you the answers you seek,” the demon says before disappearing completely.
Their hold releases. I slump forward, gasping for air. Tears of frustration well up, blurring out the world.
Stumbling to my feet, I run out the door and away from the demon. I want to find Alaric, to—
I collide with a solid mass. Muscular arms wrap around me in a tight hold.
“Clara?”
I jerk back and look up into Cassius’s face. I push against him, twisting, but his grip only tightens. There’s a whoosh of air, and the light from the hall is gone. The walls of my tiny room surround me again.
My legs give out from the unexpected speed. I slump to the floor. Cassius follows me, refusing to let go. He pins my back to his chest, holding my arms to my sides, and clamps his thighs against my hips and legs, rendering me unable to move.
“What are you doing?” I hiss, twisting my neck to glare.
“Me?” He returns the look. “I should be the one asking you what you’re doing. You were running through the halls crying.”
The fight leaves me all at once. I turn away, not wanting him to witness the new tears that spring up. Taking several deep inhales, I work on calming my racing pulse.
His heart beats against my back, and with each breath, the rise and fall of his chest echoes the rhythm. His closeness bothers me. It’s too intimate.
“You can let me go.” I squirm against him. “I’m fine now.”
Cassius gradually loosens his hold as if he doesn’t entirely trust that I won’t attack. As soon as he releases me, I scoot away. He remains where he is, watching me with a guarded expression. I press my back to the side of the bed across from him.
“I’ve been suffering from night terrors since…” I gesture toward him. “Since you found me that night at Windbury.”
Cassius’s brow wrinkles. He draws a leg up and rests an arm on his bent knee. “Then you will return with me and stay until you have a new master.”
I shrink back as if it could keep him from getting to me. “No,” I snap. “Why do you care? It’s not as if this is the first time you found me like this.”
Cassius rubs the light stubble along his jaw thoughtfully. A frown pulls at the corners of his mouth.
“It’s different…” he says but doesn’t elaborate. The stilted tone of his words makes it sound like he cut himself off before he said too much.
He’s keeping something from me.
Cassius climbs to his feet. Bending at the waist, he reaches out and takes my hand, helping me up.
“Why are you in my room?”
He blinks in surprise at the harshness of my tone. “You’re welcome,” he says, “I am here because you are my ward for the time being and I wanted to check on you.”
He runs his fingers through my hair, loosening the tangles and brushing it back off my face. I swat at his hands and miss.
Scrunching my nose, I lean away, unable to back up without falling onto my bed. “Why are you pretending to be nice?”
He drops his arms to his sides. “Despite what you think, little bird, I am capable of being nice, and as I’ve said before, I have my reasons.”
Reasons… I scoff inwardly. Reasons he refuses to tell me. The non-answer only fuels my suspicion.
“Well, you can stop. You’re in charge of bringing me to heel, but that doesn’t mean anything else has changed.”
“Why are you so untrusting of me?” he shoots back.
“Because you are still the same vampire who offered to turn me when—”
A broad grin stretches across his face. “You want me to turn you?” he asks, intentionally misinterpreting what I said.
“No,” I bite out. “I have no desire to be a lesser vampire.”
“Good. I love a woman who isn’t willing to settle for less power than she deserves,” he says.
I scoff. “This has nothing to do with power and everything to do with you wanting to take me away from Alaric.” I shake my head. “I’m not a thing for you to use in petty games.”
His face darkens at the mention of Alaric. “Why do you care? He’s a vampire, no different than the rest of us.”
“He claimed me, but I choose his mark. I asked for it.”
Cassius caresses the side of my face with his knuckles.
“I wasn’t sure about you until that day I had Victor go looking for you,” he says more to himself then to me.
I rear back, stumbling until the backs of my legs hit the bed. “You… You set that up?” I snap. “You knew he was demon cursed?”
“Suspected,” he corrects,
admitting what he did as if it were nothing. “I suspected he was demon cursed.”
White, hot anger flashes before my vision. “You used me as bait? I could have died!”
Cassius shrugs. “I had a feeling you wouldn’t.”
A sharp, ugly laugh bursts out of me. “It’s a good thing you showed up when you did because I almost died.”
“I showed up exactly when I intended to. I wasn’t about to leave him in the room with you any longer than needed to confirm my suspicions.” Cassius leans in until his face is within an inch of mine. “Besides, did you honestly think I left that dagger where you could reach by accident?” he asks quietly.
That confession takes me aback. “What?”
“Yes, little bird. I left it there for you to use.” He nods slowly and pulls his face away.
I ball my hands into fists at my side, fighting the urge to slap him. “What if he’d stabbed me?”
“Whatever transpired between you two before I walked in was the thing that pushed Victor over the edge. He was too far gone to see that he could have used it on you. But you… I knew you would take the opportunity if it presented itself.” He frowns. “I had expected you to use it sooner than you did.”
I’d been too busy keeping an eye on the cursed vampire to formulate much of a plan.
“You’re a bastard,” I snap.
“I know.” He dips his chin and steps closer. One hand grazes the side of my arm, the other gestures to the bed.
“I’m not going to trust you,” I repeat. “I didn’t before, and I’m not going to now.”
I sit on the bed and pull my legs up. Cassius reaches over and drags the worn blanket on top of me. I might as well be asleep for all the attention he gives to my words.
“We…” I motion between us. “We are not friends.”
“That’s fine,” he says, leaning forward, one hand planted on either side of my head. “I will still be your friend even if you’re not mine.”
I press a hand to his chest and push him back. Then slow and calm, I say, “No, thank you.”
Cassius settles on the foot of my bed, back pressed to the wall. His long legs hang off the edge.
“You can leave,” I say.
“I will be staying right here.” There’s a long pause. Then, he adds so quietly I’m not sure he meant for me to hear, “Alaric’s presence seems to keep these night terrors of yours at bay. Perhaps mine will do the same.”
I twist to my side, trying to ignore the warmth radiating off him and the hope that his being here really will keep the demon away. It feels wrong to be grateful to him for that. It should not be him.
Sliding my hand under my pillow, I find the familiar leather wrapped hilt of the dagger.
Come to me.
The demon from the dungeon had visited tonight. I chew on my bottom lip. The demon didn’t attack; they didn’t even follow when I ran.
They want something from me… Varin said as much in the dungeon when they healed me.
I think of the scars on my arms and how Alaric couldn’t heal those wounds completely. He said that the power of the night-forged silver opposed his own—power that came from his demon.
Even as exhaustion works its way through my body, a final thought occurs to me. A vampire is vulnerable to night-forged silver as a mortal would be to any weapon, so why wouldn’t a demon be just as vulnerable to my blade?
My fingers tighten around the hilt.
If the demon wants me to find them, then I will find them.
Chapter Nineteen
Clara
I smooth a hand down my shirt and reach for the door. My nerves ratchet up, and I have to remind myself that I’m Cassius’s ward, not his prisoner. The hollow ache in my stomach is enough for me to take the chance and leave without him. After all, it’s only a trip to the kitchens through the servants’ quarters for a little food.
Pulling open the door, I step out into the hall and close it behind me. A half snort, half laugh comes from behind.
I whirl.
“Is this how you sneak around?” Cassius asks with a smirk, his arms folded across his broad chest. He leans a shoulder against the wall, one foot crossed over the ankle of the other. “You’re not very good at it.”
I step back as he prowls toward me like a large cat.
“Where were you going, little bird?”
“I was hungry. Thank you for checking on me, but I will be fine.” I turn my back on him and keep walking.
I find it hard to look at him in the light of the day. A thread of shame curls low in my stomach, twisting it into knots. I allowed him to stay and keep the demon from returning.
His fingers entwine through mine, and with a slight tug, he spins me to face him. “Miss Valmont, I am your guardian. You are not to go anywhere without me by your side.”
“Do you expect me to stay in my room and starve while waiting for you to remember I need to eat?” The words fly from my mouth before I can stop them.
Cassius releases my hand and shakes his head. “No, of course not, Clara, but having me with you is safer—” he frowns. I could almost swear that he’s genuinely offended by the look I give him. “You are so much more than that.”
I roll my eyes.
He takes my arm and hooks it through his then leads me down the hall.
“You shouldn’t worry so much about my presence as much as you should be worrying about tomorrow morning.”
My steps falter. “W-what’s tomorrow morning?”
He gives me a sidelong glance and raises a brow like I should know. When it’s clear to him that I don’t, he frowns.
“Tomorrow is the reclaiming. You will get your new master before the night is through.”
“So soon?” I ask.
I’d expected it to take longer. Elizabeth told Cassius to train me. I’d assumed she meant literally, but maybe she’d only meant for him to keep me from killing any more vampires.
Cassius nods. “Elizabeth wants this over sooner rather than later.”
My gaze snags on his. He doesn’t need to translate the meaning of his words. We both understand that the queen wants me dead.
Nerves form a rock that settles in the pit of my stomach. My insides twist, and form a pit in my stomach.
“Why so soon?” I ask dumbly.
Cassius gives me a disbelieving stare. “Don’t ask questions you know the answer to. Did you think she would allow you to remain unclaimed for long?”
“Alaric has already claimed me.” I wipe my clammy hands over my hips. A shiver rakes over my body and my throat goes dry, making my tongue feel thick and heavy in my mouth.
Cassius takes my shoulders and brings me close, gripping my chin between his thumb and forefinger, almost painfully.
Hot tears build, prickling at the backs of my eyes. Though nothing has changed since my sentencing, I can feel my world spinning out of control.
There is something about knowing when my life will end that makes this all feel more real.
“What is wrong with you? You knew exactly what would happen. This is your life, Clara.”
I turn to the window. Hoarfrost covers the edges of the diamond-shaped panes. Outside, a winter bird lands on the ledge for a heartbeat before taking to the skies again. My heart aches, wishing to have that kind of freedom.
But I have willingly walked into a stone cage, trapped with predators hungry for my blood, and the one person I have come to count on has been ripped from my life.
“I don’t feel like eating anymore.”
“Are you sure? You should eat to—”
I whip my head around to face him. “I said I’m not hungry,” I snap.
Pushing past him, I walk back toward my temporary room as fast as my shaky legs will carry me.
I hear Cassius order a passing human to bring a plate of food to me anyway. His footsteps echo down the hall, following me.
When I reach my room, I don’t bother closing the door. He’s already inside by the time I sit on the floo
r, leaning against the bed frame.
Tomorrow, I will be reclaimed, and the two marks Alaric gave me will be erased. I shudder. I don’t want another vampire to bite me. What I used to fear from Alaric’s mark will come to pass, only it will be much worse. That is if I manage to live through the night.
Cassius stands in the center of the room, saying nothing, but the silent judgment radiating off of him irritates me.
After a while, a man comes with food. Cassius takes it and quickly dismisses him. He doesn’t offer me the plate but sets it on the dresser. Maybe he knows I would only fling it at his head.
Cassius takes a seat on the floor next to me.
“Why are you still here?”
He shrugs with one shoulder. “I could leave, but I’d rather keep you company.”
I let out an annoyed breath and scoot a little farther away. “Your advances are a little too strong. You should learn when a girl doesn’t want you around.”
“Believe me, little bird, I am well aware, but I think I’ll still stay a bit longer.” The half-cocked smile drops from his mouth. “What you say and think you want isn’t always what you need. Your life is about to change, and I’m the closest thing to a friendly face that you will see before then. No one should spend their final hours locked up in a hole, alone with their thoughts.”
I open my mouth to argue then close it. Even Cassius doesn’t expect me to live long after I am reclaimed.
That stings more than it should.
I don’t want to fight with him anymore, so I face straight ahead and stare at the blank grimy wall, letting my vision blur.
He’s right. I don’t want to spend this time alone, but he’s not the one I want to spend these hours with.
I want to see Alaric again. Even for a little while.
Cassius sits silently at my side, never pressuring me to eat or speak anything.
After a while, the silence gets to me. I feel the urge to say what has been on my mind since the moment Alaric and I arrived at this castle.
Somehow, my lack of trust in him makes it easier to admit. “I’m scared.”