by Barr, Sue
He had only one question when Neil was finished.
“Where—exactly—is she?”
Chapter Eighteen
Loud music blared through the open doors of the town dance hall. Half-ton trucks, SUV’s and flashy cars filled the parking lot. Laughing couples and crowds of friends created a living river of people that flowed through the doors and spilled out onto the street. It looked like everyone from the town and surrounding county had come to the dance, ready to party.
My step was light and I caught myself bouncing on the balls of my feet waiting for Caleb to lock the truck. We’d managed to snag the last parking spot at the back of the lot. The music called to me and I couldn’t wait to dosey-do a few rounds. Caleb had better be a good dancer or he was in serious trouble.
This dance dominated my thoughts ever since Caleb invited me. I felt like I was in high school again when Mrs. Cribbs and I went to the ‘big city’ to find a dress and get my hair cut and styled. She’d wanted me to buy a pair of cowgirl boots but although I had country in my heart it would not be on my feet. Snappy sandals completed my outfit.
My hair had grown enough that I could catch it up in a clip with a few stray curls around my forehead to hide the tiny scar. The only visible souvenir from the explosion.
Caleb, as always, looked delicious. He had on a crisp cotton shirt and dark jeans. Normally his boots were scuffed and well-worn, but tonight he’d exchanged them for a pair of glossy black ones that shone. How he wasn’t married yet baffled me. Daggered looks were thrown my way, but I ignored them all and twined my arm through his. We walked to a table, near the back door, and pulling out a chair he said, “Would you like a drink, Dixie?”
“Sure what do they have?” I plunked myself on the sturdy, wooden chair.
He looked over to the bar and said, “I see beer…. beer…. more beer and a poor imitation of wine.”
“Well…let me see.” I cocked my head to one side and pretended to study the bar. “Let’s try the beer.”
He grinned. “Good choice. I’ll be right back.”
He proceeded to the bar, his stride confident. The men milling around shook his hand and it was obvious that Caleb was respected and liked by others. After a short time I looked around the hall. My attention drifted to a group of girls watching me and then leaning into one another, whispering. One finally stood and came over. She had a determined look on her face and all I could think was—this could be fun.
“Hi. I’m Sissy.”
“Hello, Sissy.” I replied, not blinking an eye. Without asking she sat across from me and waited for me to introduce myself. But I wasn’t ready to divulge any information to a stranger. Like Caleb said, if they didn’t call me Dixie, they didn’t know me. Anyone who didn’t know me could be a potential threat.
“I’ve seen you around town.” She continued after the awkward pause. “You’re staying at the Circle K Ranch.”
I nodded and found it interesting that this wasn’t posed as a question. It took all my self-control not to sneak a peek at the bar, wondering how long Caleb would be and where she would take the conversation.
“Are you family?” She asked.
Now I smiled. Old fashioned jealousy was something I could identify with. I didn’t bother to reason how I knew about jealousy; I just knew that I did.
“Nope. Caleb’s a friend.” With perfect timing, the object of our conversation returned, and set the beers on the table. Droplets of condensation ran down the outside of the bottles.
“Hey Sissy. How’s your brother? Haven’t seen him in ages.”
Sissy flushed and stammered out, “Brandon’s re-enlisted and gone back overseas. He should be home this time next year.”
“That’s good to hear. Say hi to him for me. Look, I don’t mean to be rude, but I promised Dixie a dance.” He held out his hand and I slipped mine into it, allowing him to pull me onto the dance floor leaving Sissy pouting at the table.
We’d spun around a few times in perfect unison when I said, “That was rude, Caleb.”
He sighed and twirled me under his arm, settling it back on my shoulder, moving forward in time with the two-step. “I know. Sissy’s had a school girl crush on me for as long as I can remember. I try not to encourage her…” He let the sentence trail off. I knew exactly what he was talking about. Regis never took a hint either.
Who was Regis? Although this was another mystery person, the name gave me shivers, and not in a good way.
****
The D.J. called out ‘last dance’ and we joined a dozen other couples. Drawing me closer, Caleb’s hand felt warm on my back, his other holding mine. Carrying Your Love With Me played softly and we swayed to the music around the crowded dance floor.
Somehow we made our way into a quiet, secluded corner. When I realized where we were, I looked up at Caleb. His face was angles and chiseled planes. I’d always thought he had the look of a man who could make hard decisions. A man who would protect me, always.
But right now he didn’t look like he wanted to protect me, because he kept staring at my mouth. I heard him whisper, “I’ve wanted to do this for years.”
One big hand cupped the back of my head and the other held my hand against his hard chest, trapped between our bodies. He dipped his head and was going to kiss me. I froze in panic. No, no, no. This was all wrong. I shouldn’t be kissing another man. I pushed at his chest and he stopped, inches from my lips. For a moment regret flickered in his eyes, but it was gone so fast I couldn’t be sure.
“I’m sorry, Caleb. Nothing against you, but this doesn’t feel right. I don’t know why, but I feel like I’m being unfaithful.”
He slid me a look that was hard to decipher and then nodded. His quiet voice carried above the music and peoples voices in the dance hall. “I know. Come on. It’s time we headed home anyway.”
We moved off the dance floor and stepped outside. Caleb ploughed into my back when I stopped suddenly. He grabbed my shoulders to stop me from falling face first in the gravel walk. “What the…?”
The edges of my vision blurred and everything closed in around me. I felt myself begin to slump in his arms and fumbled to grab onto anything that would keep me upright. Caleb wrapped his arms around my middle and huffed me closer to his chest.
“Dixie?”
I struggled to hold onto his voice, but he slipped further and further away. I concentrated on my breathing. I would not faint in front of the whole town. Not. Going. To. Happen.
Breathe. In through my nose, out through my mouth.
Breathe. In, two three. Out, two, three.
Slowly, the dizziness subsided, but I still had a queasy feeling of nausea. Caleb by now had carried me to his truck. He reached out and lowered the tailgate before sitting on it, settling me on his lap.
“Dixie. What just happened?”
“I don’t know,” I said and shuddered.
He started to rub my arms, trying to warm me up. Why did I almost pass out? Trying to remember brought fresh pain behind my eyes, but I pushed through the fog, determined to get past this and move on. This almost fainting crap was starting to tick me off.
A brief vignette played across my memory. As Caleb and I stepped outside, one of the local girls crawled into a huge truck cab and I saw the back of a man’s hand when he opened the door. The tattoo inked across it was a snake. When his hand moved the snake twisted and turned around the bones. I’d seen a tattoo like that before, I just didn’t know where or when.
What I did know was an instinctive reaction to run and not look back.
“I guess the dance was more than I could handle. I’m not as strong as I thought.”
“I’m sorry. I should have known better.” He set me on my feet and steered me over to the passenger side of the truck. “Hop in, we’re going home. You’ve had enough for one night.”
I wanted to say, ‘No, let’s go for drinks or a coffee.’ But my head hurt and tiredness swept through me, draining any energy I may have had in reserve. So I nodded yes and
climbed into the truck, falling asleep before we were out of the parking lot.
****
“Dixie.” Caleb shook my shoulder, “We’re home.”
I opened my eyes, yawned and stretched and saw we were parked by his house. Caleb opened his door, but my hand on his forearm stopped him from leaving the vehicle.
“Caleb, wait. You said you’d wanted to kiss me for years. I’ve only been here for a few months. Mind explaining that to me.”
I thought he’d never answer he took so long. “I wished I’d met you first.”
“First? What do you mean?”
He sighed heavily. “It’s a long story. You and another girl were at a beach party a couple of years ago. Before I had a chance to even meet you, Ta—, Jake had you in his sights.”
“Jake?”
“He was my partner. We were in town on a case and after he met you, he told the bosses he’d relocate to the Chicago office. He wasn’t going anywhere. You got married real fast, lived together for about a year and then split. You were working the case with him, and I don’t know much more than that. I haven’t heard from him in months.”
“So this Jake, he’s the agent who was staying at my house when the explosion happened?”
“Yeah, we got him away from the house in time, but not you. I’ve been told he was pretty torn up.”
This made me feel better. At least someone cared I’d died. “Does he know I’m alive?”
“No one knows you’re alive except me, the W.P.P. team and my immediate supervisor. We have to do that, for your own safety.”
“Will Jake be told, now that there’s been a break in the case?”
Caleb opened his door and turned to look at me through the cab, his expression hidden in the dark. “Most likely. There’d be no reason to keep it a secret.”
Walking into the house and to my room I thought about what Caleb said. I’d been married, to Jake, which meant I must have loved him at one time. One would assume we’d been intimate. So, why couldn’t I bring his face to mind?
And saying the name Jake was like saying Tom, Dick, or Harry. I sighed and got ready for bed. Tomorrow was a big day. Mrs. Cribbs, satisfied with my burgeoning culinary skills, was finally going to part with her prize winning jelly recipe. I could taste the sweetness already.
Teeth brushed, night cream on, I crawled into bed. My mind was drifting and I was at that stage where you’re almost asleep, when I slammed awake.
The beach party from my dream!
Caleb said he first saw me at a beach party and I’d been dreaming about that for weeks. Could the man I’d seen myself walking and making love with be Jake? If he was, why did I cry out the name Tank? I punched my pillow into a different shape and tried to go to sleep.
Tank, that wasn’t a name, it was a thing. I mean, really, who called themselves Tank?
I sat up again. Caleb stumbled over Jake’s name. He’d started to say one that started with the letter ‘T’. My hand instinctively went to my hip, touching the tattoo. Could it stand for Tank? Groaning, I flopped back onto my pillow. I’d apparently been married to an undercover agent, who’d probably killed—I stopped right there. If my world got any more twisted, I’d have to write a book. No one lived this kind of life. It was too surreal.
I lay for a long time, waiting for sleep to steal me away.
Chapter Nineteen
Tank’s heart raced while he drove through the picturesque town that lay outside of Caleb’s ranch, The Circle K. He was familiar with the town and the ranch since he’d been Caleb’s partner for over eight years. He recognized the grocery mart where they probably still delivered groceries to your home. Same old furniture store, church, local courthouse and Sheriff’s office, with a big hound dog sprawled out front. The dog lifted its head and gave Tank a lethargic look when he cruised by. Probably the same dog too.
A sign by the side of the road pointed to the Circle K Ranch and he followed the shaded drive that would lead him to Shelby. His stomach churned and he could barely breathe. Before he left Neil’s office, Neil told him Shelby had amnesia and in the last report from Caleb, hadn’t regained her memory.
What if she never remembered him? He’d been in Special Forces and gone into numerous high-risk areas, but what he felt crawling along his spine right now was something he never experienced.
After cresting a small hill, he saw the house and pulled alongside. Fear anchored him to the seat. For every mile he’d driven, a different scenario played inside his mind. She could look at him and smile politely, because he was a stranger. Or she could hide, because Caleb warned her not to trust strangers. But the one scenario that gripped his heart and squeezed was the thought that she could look at him with indifference. Not because she didn’t remember him but because she had, and didn’t want him in her life.
He removed the photo of him and Shelby from his wallet. Already softening around the edges, he caressed Shelby’s image with his finger. Hopefully, he’d have the real thing in his arms today. Finally he folded the photo and tucked it back into his wallet and stepped out of the rental car.
With a deep breath he mounted the front steps of the porch and pushed open the screen door. Music floated through the air and he followed the sound to the kitchen, stopping in the doorway. Her back to him, she hummed aloud while moving to the lively beat, hair bouncing around her shoulders. She grabbed a dish from the drying rack beside the sink and swiped a tea towel over the brightly patterned plate.
Even he didn’t recognize his voice when he finally uttered her name.
“Shelby.”
****
A deep, hoarse voice lifted above the music, calling my name. There was pain in that solitary word. I continued to dry the dish and looked toward the door. There he stood, gaunter than I remembered, his face tired and drawn, eyes hollow.
“Hi Tank.” I pivoted to put the dish in the cupboard and it fell from nerveless fingers, clipping the counter before smashing against the hardwood floor. Like a movie playing in slow motion, I turned to face the man I thought I’d never forget, but had.
I couldn’t move. I only stared. It was him, the man from my dreams. A sensation like a battering ram pummeled my temple as the floodgates opened and everything I’d blocked rushed in.
Every time I blinked a new memory hit, making each breath difficult. It was Christmas and we were opening presents with my mom and Aunt Tillie. Then blink, a different memory of Tank’s arms wrapped around me, my heart breaking as the doctor unplugged my mother’s life support. Another blink and Tank walked away while I cried and pleaded with him to stay.
Caleb came through the door and stood behind Tank, his face wary. I knew I was falling to the floor because I watched them both rush to catch me before I hit.
****
“Why didn’t anyone call me? She’s my wife.”
“You were separated. Everyone thought you were only working the case.”
“I thought she was dead! You guys let me think she was dead.”
Lying on the couch I listened to Caleb and Tank arguing. Although they kept their voices low, it still carried into the living room.
More memories bounced around and this time I held onto them. I saw Tank kissing my fingers, telling me he was back for good and how he’d left to protect me. I recalled how relieved I’d felt, but after that I couldn’t remember anything more. Had we made up? Had I dreamed it?
They continued to argue in the hall. Should I let them know I could hear them? Deciding against it I closed my eyes. I wasn’t ready to face either of them yet. What I hadn’t counted on was Mrs. Cribbs.
“She can hear you two morons.” Mrs. Cribbs passed by the living room on the way to the kitchen. “Take it outside if you’re going to squabble. She don’t need this right now.”
Between Mrs. Cribbs ratting me out and the sound of me shifting on the couch they knew I was awake. Both men entered the living room, Caleb looking apprehensive, Tank devastated. Tank came over and knelt beside me and I couldn�
�t help it, I flinched when he caressed the side of my face. Hurt flashed in his odd colored eyes.
“They told me you had died.”
“I’m sorry,” I whispered. I didn’t know what else to say.
Wouldn’t his life be easier if I were dead? He’d left me without explanation and I meant nothing to him. Or did I? He seemed pretty concerned for a hardhearted ex-husband. This was all confusing. There was too much, too soon. I needed time to work through my jumbled memories.
“When can I go home and be me again?” I asked Caleb.
“Darlin’—” Tank started.
“I’m not your darling.” He withdrew his hand from my hair he’d been stroking. “I’m not your anything.”
I laid my head back against the couch and closed my eyes. A nagging pain pulsed behind them.
“You can go home anytime, Dix— Shelby. Your papers will take a bit of time and your house needs to be repaired.” Caleb soothed.
“Our house is repaired.” Tank bit out.
“Oh.” Caleb was surprised; I could hear it in his voice. Against my better judgement, I smiled. Now I remembered how Tank got his name. When he wanted something, he could be very determined and single-minded and rolled over anything that got in his way.
I guess he would have fixed the damage. The house was his, after all. I’d moved in after we got married. For all I knew, he could have sold it by now. Why would he want to stay there anyway? Where would Polly and I watch movies?
“Polly!” I jolted upright. Caleb started forward and Tank reached out to steady me. I swatted his hand away and swung my legs to sit. “I have to call Polly. She thinks I’m dead!”
“We all thought you were dead.” Tank’s voice, full of hurt, washed over me. Maybe his apology before I’d been blasted by the bomb had been reality not a dream. I glanced down at my hands and was surprised to see them shaking.
I clasped them together and said, “Caleb, would you give Tank and me a few minutes?”
Caleb stepped out and I shuffled over on the couch to give Tank room. He slid in, but didn’t try to crowd me or make me feel uncomfortable. I couldn’t look at him. What do you say to someone who thought you had died? Someone you didn’t know if you were mad at and wanted to punch in their handsome, unshaven face or someone you were ecstatic to see and wanted to leap into their arms and rain kisses all over that same handsome, unshaven face.