by Len Webster
The only approval she’d ever seek would be his.
“No, piccola,” he breathed. “You’re hurting. You could never disappoint me.”
His words coerced her tears to blur her vision. “Thank you, Serge.”
Their conversation went silent for a moment.
Ally could hear the sound of chatter and cheers from behind her. She knew sometime tonight she’d see Rob, but it wouldn’t matter. He was never who she should long for. Way out of her league, physically, morally, ethically, emotionally and all the other ‘ally’s’ that were out there.
It was time this former could-return-socialite came to terms with the fact that she could never shake off who she was. No matter if it were fact or fiction. She was Sydney’s social whore number one.
At least, her father had been proud of that.
“Piccola, would you like to come home?”
It had been nine days since he last saw Allison O’Connor. It had been nine days since she slapped him. It had been nine days since he forced his kiss on her.
It had been the worst nine days of his life.
The live folk band that played on the stage had been well received and the crowd cheered and hollered as they listened to the young Irish band. Rob stepped away from the door and scanned the bar to find Stevie and Julian in a booth near the back. He zigzagged through the crowd until he reached them. Rob took the free seat in front of them, pressing his forearms on the wooden table.
“Hey,” he greeted.
Stevie glared at him, and Julian offered an apologetic shrug.
“Blondie, you still furious with my big brother?” Julian asked.
“Ummm, no. I’m, like, super happy that your brother is a coldhearted bastard. Seriously, Rob? Jewel? You beg Ally for a second chance and you pull that kind of stunt—”
“Stephanie,” Julian interrupted.
“Non. C’est des conneries!” Stevie yelled.
“English, please, Stevie,” Rob grumbled.
“Julian, translate for me. I’m going to go get some whiskey. I have had enough pain in the ass issues with my stupid marketing group members; I don’t need it with your brother.” Then she left the Moors brothers alone.
Rob raised his brow at Julian. “What did she say in French?”
Julian sighed. “I’m not that great. She’s teaching me the bad words. I’m pretty sure she said, ‘No. This is bullshit.’ Or, ‘No. This is your small dick.’ Same thing, really.”
“She’s pissed off at me.”
“We all are, Rob. You did something pretty merde. ‘Shit’ in French. You kiss her one night and then ask Jewel on a date the next. You should have seen her face when Mitch told her what Jewel said when she called in sick. She ran to the toilet and puked her guts out. She hasn’t been well since she got here.” Julian pursed his lips. “You want the Olympics that badly?”
“It’s my dream,” Rob answered.
“You love Ally.” His brother’s voice softened. “You’re willing to just leave her behind? Mum wouldn’t want this for you, Robbie. You know that.”
“I promised her a gold medal.”
Julian leant in close. “You promised her you’d be a good man, too.”
Rob’s nostrils flared. “I am … Aren’t I?”
“What if Ally did that to you? All the shit you’ve done? The whole reluctant thing you got going? Would you think she’s a good person?”
“She’d … never do that to me.”
His younger brother’s eyebrows lifted. “Because she’s not capable of doing so. She cares about you. I heard her tell Stephanie what happened. Trust me, Robbie, if you continue this, you’ll be a lonely man with a gold medal. She’ll find someone who would never consider her past. You also deserved that slap.”
“I know.” He sighed. “How do I get her to forgive me?”
Julian appeared to be mulling it over. “I had to give Stephanie some time. I think you need to give Ally the same. She gave up a lot to come to Melbourne. She’s trying to find herself behind all the fake shit the papers and gossip magazines write. You and I both know that’s not her. If her image bothers you, then I think you should just let her go. If you do decide to be with her and she forgives you, it’ll be a few minutes of bad press. But the world, Rowing Australia, your manager and coach, everyone will see how much you love her.” Julian paused. “And here she comes. Do me a favour? Be nice? She’s only just gotten over her fatigue.”
Rob nodded as he leant back into his chair. “Okay,” he agreed.
Suddenly, the chair next to him scraped as it was pulled back. He craned his neck and watched Allison sit next to him. Then she set a pint of Guinness in front of him.
“I heard you beat your PB. Congratulations,” she said with a smile. It was genuine, and it confused him. Over a week ago, he’d watched the heartbreaking pain consume her face. He wondered why she was being nice to him.
It was true. The moment he had walked out of her apartment, Rob had cancelled his dinner with Jewel and trained. The next day he had beaten his personal best. Now, three and a half seconds from reaching the world record. That was what he had done in the nine days since he saw her. He had trained every free second of his time until his arms and his legs burned. Day and night. He focused on the scorching ache in his limbs rather than the inferno in his chest. Every training session he had with Ralph, he had thought about Allison, about how he had used her image as an excuse, and about how he could win back her trust.
“Thank you,” he said, staring at the way her smile deepened. He took in her face, and the colour was almost there. She didn’t look as tired. The yellow in her eyes returned bright against the green swirl in them.
Allison nodded and then got up from her seat. “I’ll see you guys later.”
“Where are you going?” Julian had asked before he could.
Rob tensed. She was leaving, and he had no idea how to make her stay. He had no idea how to apologise. He’d led her on so many times. More times than any woman should have gone through, really.
“Behind the bar. Tiff has a family emergency and Mitch asked if I could fill in until Dave can come in,” she replied. “I’ll see you guys after.”
For a second, he thought she was leaving to go back to her apartment. And worse, pack up her things and return to Sydney. But Rob had underestimated her. She was here in Melbourne for her freedom, and he had stood in the way of that. Like her image stood in the way of his Olympic career. He might not be able to be Allison’s, but so long as she was happy, he was happy. She’d find someone else. Someone who wouldn’t use her reputation against her and against their future together. For Rob, her image was a limitation. No major sponsor would want to be associated with a socialite who had supposedly been with countless men and linked to drugs and alcohol. He had to let Allison O’Connor go. He was afraid that if he won back her trust, he’d obliterate it once again. And that wasn’t fair.
Maybe when the Olympics were over, when things were right, he could win her back. Rob doubted it, of course. But he had hopes it could be attainable someday. He grasped the glass pint, and then slid it towards his brother.
“Celebrate for me. I gotta run,” he announced and then stood up from his seat.
Julian’s brows furrowed as he glanced down at the Guinness then back at Rob. “You just got here.”
“Yeah, and I gotta leave. I have to go be a better man. There’s another reason why I want that gold medal,” he explained.
It wasn’t only for his mother that he wanted that gold medal in Rio. He wanted it for Julian and for his father, too. They had been with him every step of the way. It wasn’t Julian’s fault he had missed London. Rob had chosen to miss it. Just as he chose to believe in Allison’s public image. He should have trusted her—believed her—when she’d said it was all a façade back when they had met. He should have trusted the girl he met, not the one he had read.
Julian gave him an understanding nod. “Go be a better man.”
“A wha
t?” Stevie asked once she returned to the booth, confused.
“Don’t worry, Blondie. Just a promise made years ago.”
Rob’s lips curved into a smile. He wasn’t sure how he was going to be a better man, but he’d find a way. A better man was what Allison deserved. And if Rob didn’t deserve her until after the Olympics, then he’d wait. He’d wait for her as she had waited for him. He spun around and made his way towards the exit. But when he had passed the bar, he glanced Allison’s way to find her staring at him. He’d held her gaze for a single moment before he left the pub, determined to be deserving of her someday.
Rob glanced at the stopwatch as he panted.
“Tell me this isn’t a joke,” he said, breathing hard.
“Rob, you’re within a second of the world record. The last two weeks of your training has been phenomenal. What’s been going on with you?” his coach asked as he scribbled ‘six minutes and thirty-four seconds’ onto the clipboard.
One second.
That was it.
One second and he’d have the same PB as Mahé Drysdale.
Two seconds and he’ll have beaten it.
Robert Moors would have the new world record.
He’d be one step closer to the Olympics.
“Nothing, just training harder,” he answered and grabbed the towel Ralph had handed him. Rob wiped his forehead, neck, and his shoulders.
Ralph let out a hum. “You pushed through the five hundred and didn’t conserve. Seriously, Rob, we have a breakthrough. Rowing Australia can’t say no to you. What’s going on in that head of yours?”
Pushing his sunglasses to the top of his head, he let out a sigh. “What do you think?”
“I honestly don’t know.”
“How about the fact that you and Deanna both told me that Allison is bad for my career? That’s what I’m thinking about when I’m rowing. About how mad and angry I am because I can’t be with the woman I love.” Rob wasn’t sure if he was growling or yelling. Most likely both. He grasped the towel and then threw it on the riverbank. “I get it. I gave up London for Julian and my father. I don’t want to give up Rio, too. But I don’t want to let her go.”
Ralph’s facial expression softened. It was guilt. It was understanding that flashed in his eyes. “I get it, Rob. I do. You know the only way is to quit the Olympics. Rowing Australia won’t pick you if you’re public with her. You want that O’Connor girl that badly? You be with her. But you could have been someone great. You could have been a legend.”
“There is no way I can have the Olympics and be with Allison?”
“I’m sorry, kid. You can’t have both. You’re gonna have to make a decision.”
Rob noticed the fear flash in his coach’s eyes. “Will you stick around if I choose her?”
Ralph gave him a small smile. “Your grandfather is why I’m here, Rob. Promised him I’d coach all the Moors who ever wanted to row. You choosing her?”
He sucked in a deep breath, squared his shoulders and straightened his spine. “Yeah. But I’m also choosing the Olympics.”
“You can’t have—”
“I’m gonna try,” Rob interrupted as he glanced over Ralph’s shoulder to see a few of the under sixteen rowers staring his way. Rob waved them over. “Need some help guys!”
The two junior boys grinned and made their way down the bank to him and Ralph. The younger rowers would stick around after every senior and competing rower was done with their training session. Wanting to see what the older rowers raced in and how they trained. Rob had been one of them when he was a teenager.
Rob turned his attentions back on his coach. “I’m not winning that gold medal without her, Ralph. And I’m not going to Rio or France for Worlds without her. The reason I got anywhere close to Mahé Drysdale’s PB is because of her. You, Deanna, Rowing Australia, the Australian Olympic Committee, all of Australia, and whoever else cares will have to deal with it. I love her.”
Once he’d looked Ralph in the eye and it appeared his message came across, he stalked towards the row club. Last night, he’d walked out of PJ’s to prevent himself from doing anything stupid. One way or another, he’d find a way for her to trust him again. Then when he was sure she’d believe him, he’d tell her that he had begun to fall in love with her the moment her eyes found his in that ballroom full of people.
Ally had found that after lunch was always the quietest. Most of the rowers would stop by for a beer before they went out and trained or that the regulars came in for the lunch specials. But it always seemed that PJ’s was always quiet after one p.m. Ally sighed as she wiped down the spilt beer made by one of the customers who had just left. It had been three days since she last saw Rob. When she had agreed to work for a few hours, he had left the pub. Ally was disappointed. Though she shouldn’t have been, she couldn’t help it.
He might have obliterated her heart, but she was still proud of him. His dreams of the Olympics were before her. And they were certainly after her. Ally had no claim over Robert Moors’ heart. They had that one night she thought was memorable. All their conversations over the phone and then when she visited added to it. Her crush became so much more. She began to fall in love with him. That was why it had hurt her so much to hear that he’d gone on a date with Jewel. He cared for Jewel. He could be the real him with her. He could achieve his dreams because of her.
Ally? Not so much. She had no place in his life or his heart. And she was content with that. Well, she had to make herself believe that she was. Her life now consisted of making sure her health was a priority. Dialysis could wait until she became free of her old life. She’d have access to her money and that meant she could go back to New York. If she could come up with a good reason, she’d figure out how to move there in six months’ time. She needed Dr Fuller. And New York would be her next place of residency.
“So this is where millionaires hide out?” The teasing in his voice had her pausing her wiping.
Ally glanced up to see her brother’s best friend, Adam, standing in front of her with his hands inside his pants pockets, taking in the pub. She stood straight and smiled at him. “I’m not necessarily hiding. You could have called.”
Adam’s bright blue eyes twinkled as he took the barstool in front of her. “I did. You didn’t answer. I had to call your bodyguard. You should tell him that he shouldn’t be so trusting of me.”
She rolled her eyes. “I’ll be sure to tell him. Want a beer?”
He shook his head. “Nah, I gotta get back to the office. But I do need a favour.”
“Ally, I’ll show you how these invoice slips wor—” Mitch stopped mid-sentence and mid-walk once he took in Adam.
“Mitch, this is my brother’s best friend, Adam. Adam, this is my boss,” she introduced.
“Hey,” Mitch greeted.
“Nice to meet you,” Adam said.
“Likewise. Ally, I’ll show you later. You can take your break now if you want.”
She shook her head. “I’m okay. Tell Tiff she can go now.”
“All right.” And then Mitch left.
“He seems nice.”
Ally crossed her arms over her chest. “He is. Now, what’s this favour?”
Adam tensed, his hands clenched into balls. “You’re not going to like it.”
“Oh, no.” She waved her hands in refusal. “If it’s what I think it is, then no. I left all that behind me in Sydney.”
“Ally, I need you. I really need you. I need a date tonight. I wouldn’t be stuck in this position if your brother hadn’t taken off for Europe. You have no idea how much the board has little faith in him right now. I’m covering his ass, and I need you to come with me to this stupid benefit tonight.”
“Adam.” She sighed. “We went on a date, and it didn’t work.”
“Please, Ally. It’s a business date. I don’t know anyone’s faces, just their names. You could help. I don’t want to do something stupid while I’m in charge of the Melbourne office with Liam away.” T
hen he gave her his puppy dog eyes and pout. “Please, Ally. I can’t do this without you. I don’t want to do this without you.”
She sighed. “You do know what you’re asking of me, right? I’m taking twenty steps back for you.”
“I know,” he said, nodding his head. “I can take you out for a proper dinner beforehand. I’ll make sure it’s not like the other dates you’ve gone on. I just don’t want Liam to finally come to his senses and realise he’s lost everything.”
Ally reached over and covered his hand with hers. Her thumb brushed his index finger. “Okay. Tomorrow. But you know I don’t …”
“Sleep on the job?”
“Yeah,” she said softly. “I’ll see you tomorrow night. Don’t worry about dinner. Just pick me up at my place before the benefit.”
Adam turned his hand and then clutched hers. “Thank you, Ally.”
“Okay, Ally. All you have to do is ask,” she coached herself as she stood outside of Stevie’s bedroom door. Then a deep breath and a knock were made.
“Come in,” Stevie called.
Ally opened the bedroom door to find Stevie on her bed, books sprawled all over the doona and the laptop on Stevie’s thighs. It was just after lunch when she had knocked on her roommate’s door. Stevie hadn’t gone to uni. Instead, she had decided to stay at home and listen to her lectures online once they were posted.
“Hey,” she said as she set her laptop next to her.
“You busy?”
“Nope. Just studying. What’s up?” The blonde-and-very-engaged French roommate of hers patted a spot for her.
Walking over to the bed, Ally climbed it and sat down. “I came to ask you a question.”
Stevie straightened her legs out, kicking a book off the bed. “Shoot.”
If situations had differed, she wouldn’t be asking. “I have a date tonight and came here to ask if I could borrow a dress.”
“A date?” Her eyes were wide in surprise.
Ally nodded. “It’s a benefit.”