“No, you aren’t,” Aris agreed. Gods, how he’d hated being this age himself. That feeling of growing confidence twined with a lack of control over one’s environment. He wouldn’t repeat those years even if he could. “But you aren’t an adult, either.”
“I know,” his son mumbled.
Aris kept his gaze on the gnarled curves of the nearest branch, unwilling to break the moment. “Iren, I loved you at your birth, and I love you now. Even if centuries passed before our next meeting, that love would hold. I am aware that you may not believe me, but it is true. And I will not risk your life for mine. Not under any circumstances. My refusal of your aid was for your sake and nothing more.”
Silence descended, drawing out until he worried that he’d said the wrong thing. At the scrape of chair on stone, Aris finally dared look at Iren, and his heart burned at the sight of the tears on his son’s cheeks. He had said the wrong thing. Miaran. He opened his mouth to apologize, but an oomph slipped out instead as Iren threw his arms around his neck and squeezed.
Aris pulled his son as close as he could with the arm of the chair between them. Though tears dampened the top of his shoulder where Iren’s head rested, Aris let out a small, relieved breath and hugged his son tight. And unlike before, only a hint of discomfort itched beneath his skin at the close contact. Far more than that was the joy.
“I only wanted to make you proud,” Iren said.
When Iren pulled back, Aris rested his hands on his son’s shoulders. “You need not do anything special for that.”
Iren rolled his eyes—but some of the tension eased from his muscles. “Parents always say that kind of thing.”
“They do not.” Aris lifted an eyebrow. “Can you imagine your grandfather doing so?”
Iren’s nose wrinkled. “Good point.”
A knock sounded on the door, and after a brief pause, Eri ducked her head through the opening. A sunny smile lit her face. “You might want to get your dragon and head to Lyr’s study, Lord Aris,” she said. “Lady Selia will be back soon, and that’s where you’ll meet. I want to play tag with Iren.”
“I’m too old for tag,” his son grumbled.
Eri only laughed. “Not what you said yesterday.”
Iren shrugged and cast his Aris an apologetic smile. “May I go play?”
“Sure.”
Aris had barely given permission before the children darted out of the room, the earlier tension gone as though it had never been. For a moment, he almost wished he could join them, but he’d rather go find out what Selia had discovered. Despite having a strong feeling it wouldn’t be good.
Chapter 21
By the time their group stumbled through the portal, Selia was ready to curl up in bed for a solid week. But although five days of blissful rest might be enough to ease her aching muscles, it wouldn’t touch the turmoil of her thoughts. Stand guard, the god named Loki had said. What did that mean? She knew little about the dangers of Earth, and he’d claimed that tapping into the rift would bring death.
This was a magical dilemma she might not be able to solve—and that galled.
Dawn had been breaking on Earth, but night had fallen again here. Traveling through the Veil helped the body shift between time streams somewhat. Still, they’d switched from light to dark so many times that her mind couldn’t keep up. Sleepy, she trudged along with the others down the path to the estate. At least the guards had kept the cloaks dry by the portal, for it was cold here in comparison to Earth’s late summer.
“I am more tired than I ought to be,” Kai confessed as they rounded the front of the building. With so much festival preparation happening in the garden, the private entrance to Lyr’s study had seemed more prudent. “Especially with Inona taking part of the burden of navigating the Veil.”
The female scout stifled a yawn against her hand. “Both crossings were rough.”
“Probably because of the rift,” Selia said, covering her own yawn.
A snort from Delbin caught her attention, but he grinned at them despite the frustrated sound. “The long hike and the caving didn’t help. Some of us aren’t trained scouts accustomed to hours of physical exertion.”
“Please,” Inona said. “I saw the type of labor you did at that carnival.”
“That doesn’t mean—”
Kai lifted a hand to silence Delbin as they reached the outer door to the study. “We can determine who is more drained later. I’d like to give this report and go get some sleep.”
“Agreed,” Meli whispered from Selia’s right side.
The younger woman had gone quiet after leading them back to the main entrance of the cave. But as they entered the study, her expression brightened. Lyr straightened from his perch on the edge of his desk and rushed across the room to meet her, wrapping Meli in his arms despite the audience. Selia averted her gaze, only to connect with Aris’s eyes.
Concern shadowed his face, but there was also something closed about his expression. Some aloofness they might never bridge. Exhaustion swamped Selia, weighting her muscles, as everything seemed to crash in at once. From the strangeness of Earth and the effort of doing magic there to the distance between her and Aris…it was all too much.
An abyss she wasn’t certain she had the strength to cross.
“Your mate appears tired,” Kezari said from her place by the window.
Aris’s brows drew down. “Did something happen?”
“We weren’t attacked, if that’s what you’re asking,” Selia hedged. How could she admit her uncertainty to him when he’d faced so much already? “I’m fine.”
His frown deepening, he strode over, and the rest of the room faded from awareness. Then he brushed his thumb gently across the curve of her cheekbone. “You’ve never made it a habit to tell me an untruth.”
Selia squirmed beneath his touch, and not just because of the heat that flowed through her from the contact. “I wasn’t lying. I am fine, and we weren’t attacked. I’m simply tired. I transported the group from the cave back to the portal on Earth, and even with the use of two energy crystals, I’m drained.”
“I know you, Selia,” Aris said, his eyes narrowing. But it was true—he did know her. Well enough not to press her for more in front of others. “Perhaps you will join me in the tower once this meeting is complete?”
She swallowed an instinctive denial. She’d been bare before him in more ways than one, and she wasn’t going to start hiding from him now. No matter how much she wanted to. “Certainly.”
Aris stepped back, and the rest of the room returned to focus. Thankfully, the others had made an effort to ignore the exchange. Lyr and Meli leaned against the edge of his desk as she spoke to him, her hands fluttering with her excitement as she recounted her part in the mission. Kai slumped in one of the center chairs, his head tipped back and eyes closed. And Delbin and Inona stood beside Kezari. Inona’s voice was too low to hear their discussion, but the dragon listened attentively.
“This energy rift…” Selia began. “Perhaps I should warn you before the main discussion.”
His frown returned. “Warn me about what?”
“It’s deep in a cave,” she blurted.
The color drained from his face, and his mouth pinched white. He gave a sharp nod, his throat bobbing as he swallowed. But although he didn’t speak, panic didn’t appear to consume him. He breathed in and out, the air hissing softly through his teeth, but he remained lucid. The mind-healer’s work had kept him from a breakdown at least.
“Thanks,” Aris whispered.
Lyr stood before she could answer, his discussion with Meli complete. “Well,” he said. “I admit I didn’t expect a god’s involvement, but I suppose I should have. Why not at this point?”
Selia’s lips twitched at that. With one crisis after another occurring lately, the Myern had clearly lost patience. “I wish he’d given more specific instructions.” Selia grimaced. “What am I supposed to guard?”
“Makes as much sense as my advice,�
� Kai muttered, not bothering to open his eyes. “He seemed to know more about my lineage than I do. Not that it helped. He implied that I can’t touch earth energy the way my father can. But protecting the strands connecting dimensions? It didn’t make sense.”
Kezari took a few steps closer, her head tilted in curiosity. “Why would you try to touch the flow of earth? It is not your calling.”
Kai jerked upright, peering at Kezari through narrowed eyes. “How would you know that?”
“My soul sings with soil and stone and my skizik’s with plant and animal.” The dragon let out a soft huff. “I can identify one of my own kind. You do not share this link.”
“Then what does my father sense in me?” Kai’s fingers tightened on the arms of the chair. “He is a Sidhe lord and master of earth magic. He claims to detect the same talent in me, but…” His shoulders slumped. “What little training I’ve done with him has not gone well. If you have insight, I would love to hear it.”
The dragon studied him, unblinking, for so long that even Selia wanted to shift restlessly. “It is believed that there are other worlds out there with their own linked dimensions,” Kezari said slowly. “But for us, Earth is central. Those strands link through the heart of our home planet. The Veil.”
Kai frowned. “The Veil can’t be in the center of the world. That is the realm of heat and flame.”
“Not the physical center.” Kezari’s toothy grin took on a sly cast. “You elves may use the Veil, but you do not understand it. It’s the core of all linked worlds, Earth at its center. And you, Kai, guide others through the mists without understanding your potential to manipulate them. Perhaps even the Sidhe have forgotten how to identify that flavor of earth talent.”
Mouth agape, Kai leaned forward. “You’re saying I can alter the strands themselves?”
“The order mages made an art of it at one time.”
Selia’s brow wrinkled. “I know of no Moranaian mages who refer to themselves—”
“Neor,” Kai said, an odd tone to his voice. “The People of Order. They were almost decimated by the poisoned energy that swept through a couple of months ago. Not to mention by the Seelie army unhappy with them for seeking our aid. But I have no connection to them. In fact, that place creeps me out.”
“I cannot answer the questions you do not speak.” Kezari lowered herself to a chair, and Selia hid a grin at the dragon’s posture. She sat on the edge, her toes digging into the floor as though she was trying to gain purchase on a cliff. “Even if you spoke them.”
Kai let out a strangled laugh. “Wonderful.”
“Seems you need to consult with Lord Naomh,” Lyr said. “Last I heard, the Neorans have not returned to their previous home.”
“I wouldn’t, either,” Kai said.
He hadn’t said much about the mission he’d completed a few weeks ago, but Arlyn had let slip a few details. When Kai had gone to rescue those suffering from the energy poisoning, he’d found a massacre. Neor was a colony of the Seelie Court, and someone there had decided to eliminate the ill instead of save them. It couldn’t have been a pleasant discovery.
“There is no time for that.” Kezari pinned Lyr with her gaze. “I am Moranaian now, and the rift on Earth has been checked. Aris is as healed as he will be without time. We must go.”
Surprisingly, it was Meli who argued. “No. Pol…Loki…said to return tomorrow.”
At her words, the dragon shot to her feet. “You said we could leave once they scouted the area.”
A strangled noise from Aris caught Selia’s attention. He stared at Meli, his breathing a little more shallow than it had been. He’d ignored her during the rest of their discussion, but he must have turned to her instinctively when she’d spoken. Oh, blast it all. Would his healing hold well enough at the sight of the Ljósálfar woman?
His fists clenched, and his pupils dilated.
Maybe not.
Aris could have looked away. Perhaps he should have. But thought made habit, and habit made thought. As Tynan had warned, he would need to create new pathways for his mind to follow. Healing hadn’t erased the old ones, but they blocked them enough for him to bypass them. So although his mind almost verged down the trail of madness, he yanked himself back from the brink.
The woman might have pale hair and a similar build, but she was not Perim.
He forced himself to study her pale face, her expression frozen into lines of alarmed concern. His tormenter had never shown either of those emotions. And this woman’s eyes were light blue, not green. Instead of an arrogant posture, the Myern’s bonded stood with shoulders slightly hunched. Everything about her spoke of kindness and youthful vulnerability.
The woman leaned closer to Lyr. “Perhaps I should go,” she whispered.
“Do not,” Aris said, though it was rude in the extreme to interject. “Please forgive my impertinence in speaking so plainly when we have not been introduced, but I do not wish for you to go. I can do this.”
A slight smile lightened her face. “No need to apologize to me. My people are not so formal about strangers. Well, my previous people.”
“It is I who should beg forgiveness,” Lyr said with a wince. “Good thing Laiala is not here to see my poor manners. I should have presented you to one another immediately, especially considering the importance of this meeting.”
The Myern might joke about upsetting his mother, but they all knew the real reason he hadn’t offered immediate introductions—Aris’s sanity. He had a feeling that if she hadn’t gone on this mission, the lady would have stayed away entirely. Considering how he’d broken down at his first sight of her, he wouldn’t have blamed her.
“It is no matter,” Aris said politely. “These are unusual circumstances.”
Lyr inclined his head. “Even so, I will remedy the lapse now.”
Aris kept his gaze on the woman, processing her full name out of habit. Once Lyr finished, Aris gave a slight bow. “It is a pleasure to meet you, Myerna Ameliar.”
Color flooded her cheeks. “Ah. Just Meli, please. I still don’t understand why my full given name must be included.”
“A custom long ago formed, I’m afraid.” Aris smiled. Yes, Meli was nothing like Perim. How could he have thought otherwise? “May blessings grace your House this day, Meli.”
“Yours as well,” she answered.
His muscles unclenched, his relief intense enough to make him dizzy. Not only had he looked at Meli, but he had interacted with her. Although his heartbeat still pounded a bit faster in his chest, he wasn’t at risk of breaking down. A grin broke across his face, crinkling his eyes, and the woman in question frowned in confusion at his sudden humor.
Aris couldn’t help it—he laughed. “Sorry, Lady Meli. I never thought I would be so happy to make it through a simple introduction.”
She smiled. “I understand.”
“Good. You know one another,” Kezari snapped as she stepped to Aris’s side. “Now we go.”
Aris spun to face the anxious dragon. The skin of her right forearm was almost all scale, and a hint of steam escaped her nostrils. He settled his hand on her shoulder and squeezed, providing her the anchor she had so often given him. “Kai and Selia need rest if they are to return with us.”
He swallowed as her golden gaze pinned him. “The Earth cries. Join magic fully and you will know.”
“I don’t have to, Kezari,” Aris said. “I can see that it is urgent. But we cannot have half of our group too exhausted to complete their tasks.”
Meli took a small step forward. “It was not yet dawn when we were advised to return tomorrow, and I don’t think he meant Moranaian time. A little sleep but not a full night should satisfy that.”
Kezari’s growl rumbled through the room, but she nodded. “No more than six marks.”
“Then it is settled,” Lyr said. “Go get some sleep. Kezari, Aris, Selia, and Kai, all of you return in five marks to discuss your plan.”
“Of course,” Aris agreed before t
urning to leave.
He caught Selia’s eye as he strode away from Lyr, forming a mental connection with her out of habit. “You’ll still meet me in the tower?”
She twisted her fingers together. “Briefly. After I make sure Iren goes to bed.”
Aris couldn’t quite hide his smile. “Perfect.”
Chapter 22
Selia stood at the base of the tower stairs, her fingers clenching against the smooth crystal of the doorframe. Iren was settled, and she’d taken a moment to eat a bowl of stew before heading to Aris’s tower. Fatigue enveloped her shoulders like her cloak, but that wasn’t stopping her from the short climb up the stairs. There was only one thing it could be.
Cowardice.
Wincing at the thought, she forced her feet to move. It was time for her and Aris to settle the issues that remained between them. Now that he was more himself, perhaps he’d decided he no longer wanted to be with her. Maybe he worried that he’d changed too much or that she wouldn’t be able to accept everything that had happened. Selia sniffed at that thought. He should know she wasn’t as narrow-minded as that.
She spotted Aris as soon as she rounded the last curve of the stairs. Legs and arms crossed, he leaned one shoulder against the wall a few paces away, his gaze fixed on her as she advanced. She came to a halt just out of his reach. Her heart fluttered at his inscrutable expression, but she tried her best not to reveal her nerves.
“Why didn’t you tell me what was wrong earlier?” he asked softly.
Selia let out a sigh. “It is foolishness.”
One corner of his mouth tipped up. “You’re not given to foolishness, Selia. I don’t want you to stop confiding in me when you used to tell me everything.”
If only he knew.
“You’ve suffered so much, but you are still so ready to proceed with what needs to be done no matter the cost,” she blurted, crinkling the smooth fabric of her shirt between her fingers. “And there I stood, doubting I was equal to the task on Earth. I feel ridiculous admitting such a thing.”
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