by Sophie Davis
I wandered in the woods, relishing the blissful emptiness in my head. I sat by the lake and skipped stones over the water’s surface. I laid down in the dirt, not caring about my clothes, and let the sun warm my face. I closed my eyes and the back of my eyelids lit up, bright reddish-orange from the sun’s rays. It reminded me of Penny’s hair. I was so glad that I had a girl friend to talk to about my boy problems. As the thought crossed my mind I smiled wider; I had boy problems! How very normal of me.
My whole life I felt different, mostly because I am different. Going to the McDonough School and meeting other kids like me had made me begin to feel better. Yet, I still felt different because I never bonded with the other kids, never really made friends. But now, for the first time, I had a boyfriend, a crush, and a best friend to talk to about my boy problems. I couldn’t remember a time when I’d felt more content.
After my quiet afternoon at the lake, I still wasn’t ready to return to my cabin. I lounged in the grass outside the Crypto bank, feeling slightly stalkerish, waiting for Penny to finish work for the day.
“Do you have dinner plans?” I asked when Penny finally emerged from the Crypto bank.
“Would you mind going back to my room to eat? The kitchen is making sweet potato ravioli, it’s my absolute favorite.”
“Sounds perfect,” I smiled.
I trailed Penny up to her room, and made myself comfortable on her bed while she ordered dinner. I aimlessly flipped through the movies on her wall screen without actually reading any of the descriptions.
“What’s on your mind?” Penny asked, after I failed to answer a question she’d posed three times.
“It’s nothing, I’m still just a little out of it from the last couple of days.”
“Erik?” Penny guessed.
“What? Why would Erik have anything to do with anything?” I retorted, defensively.
“I’ve seen you two around each other, Tal, it’s obvious that he likes you. And everyone talks about how Erik has changed since you got here,” Penny said, rolling her eyes.
“It’s not like that. He just sees me as a younger sister or something,” I mumbled even, though I knew that wasn’t entirely true after the conversation I’d heard between him and Henri. “Besides, I have a boyfriend – you know, Donavon,” I added hastily.
Penny looked doubtful. “How do you feel about him?” she asked softly. I knew that she was talking about Erik.
“I don’t know,” I answered honestly. “Sometimes I think that maybe I have a little crush on him.” My cheeks burned with embarrassment. I quickly looked down at my hands, but it was too late to take it back.
“A little crush?” Penny snorted.
“I don’t know! I’ve never really felt like this about anybody. I spend so much time in his head, it’s confusing. You don’t understand,” I added hastily.
“You spend just as much time in Henri’s head as you do in Erik’s,” she reasoned. “Why is Erik different?”
I gave her a long searching look. “Henri has a boyfriend, so that’s not an issue.”
“Hmm, well that explains the difference,” she laughed. “What about me? Do you go in my head?” Her question took me by surprise.
“No, no, of course not,” I stammered.
“I understand if you do,” she said quickly. “I mean it’s your Talent and stuff, and it’s really cool. I just, you know, was wondering.” Now it was Penny’s turn to blush.
“I’d never go in your head, Penny,” I assured her. “You’re my friend, and I know it’s a huge violation of someone’s privacy to do that.”
She smiled, “Thanks.”
“I think that’s why most people are afraid to be close to me. They’re scared that I’ll read their thoughts, learn their secrets,” I continued.
“Do you read most people’s minds?”
“Not if I can help it. Unfortunately some people are really strong projectors, and I end up hearing their thoughts without meaning to,” I explained. “It’s risky too. When I read someone’s mind, I have to open up my own, so in the process they have an open window in to my head. They can then see my thoughts, and feel my feelings. It makes me completely vulnerable,” I continued.
Just then the Kitchen Aide knocked on Penny’s door, delivering our dinner. Over ravioli the conversation turned lighter. We talked about Penny’s less complicated boy problem – her crush of the week, Randell. The evening ended up being exactly what I needed to relax.
When I finally hurried through my cabin door, just before curfew, Henri was the only one there.
“Hey, how’re you feeling?” he greeted me with a grin.
“Good,” I answered truthfully, “I’ll be ready to practice tomorrow.”
“I’ll take it easy on you,” he winked at me.
I smiled and made my way to the bathroom to perform my nightly bedtime ritual of washing my face and brushing my teeth. I took my time in the bathroom, and when I emerged, Henri’s light was out and Erik’s bed was still empty. Even though I’d stayed at Penny’s all night to avoid seeing him, I was still disappointed that Erik wasn’t back.
After I got into my bed, I opened my mind and found Donavon awake in his cabin.
“Hey, I’m sure you’re busy getting ready for tomorrow. I just wanted to say goodnight,” I sent to him.
“Are you coming to see me off tomorrow morning? We’re leaving just before sunrise.”
“I’ll be there.”
“Good. Night, Tal.”
Sleep didn’t come until after I heard the cabin door open, and the squeak of the springs in Erik’s mattress compressing under his weight.
I was up, dressed, and waiting outside Donavon’s cabin the next morning when he emerged with Arden and Harris. I couldn’t help but grin when I saw him, he gave me a small smile in return. He took my hand as we walked across the compound, and gave it a little squeeze when we neared the hover hangar.
I gave Arden and Harris quick hugs and wished them luck before they boarded the hover vehicle, leaving Donavon and me to say goodbyes alone.
“Be careful,” I pleaded.
“There’s no reason to worry. I’ve been on a ton of these, and this is a quick one – nothing serious.”
“I’ll miss you.”
”I will miss you too, Tal. I love you, and I’ll see you as soon as I get back.”
I stretched up on my tip toes and kissed him, hard. I stood, watching his back as he boarded the hover plane. I stayed in the hangar until the plane flew into the early morning sky.
Whenever Donavon went on a Mission I worried about him, but this was the first time I’d actually been here at Headquarters to see him off. Now that I’d been on a Hunt of my own, I knew the risks, and knew how much potential danger he would be in.
I was wide awake, so I decided to swing by Medical, and become officially cleared. Dr. Daid was on duty and declared me completely healed; he promised to put a note in my file so I could return to training.
By the time I left Medical the sun was up, and I needed to get back to the cabin to meet the boys for practice. Henri and Erik were both up and getting ready when I walked in the door.
“Did your boyfriend get off okay?” Erik asked, trying to sound uninterested.
“Donavon got off just fine. How’d you know that’s where I went?”
“Harris told me they were leaving on a mission this morning. You weren’t here when I woke up, so I figured that you’d gone to say goodbye,” Erik answered.
“Have you eaten?” Henri interrupted.
“Nope, waited for you guys. But I did go to Medical, they said I’m cleared to train.”
“Good to hear; let’s get to it. The Captain left me a message this morning. He has a couple of upcoming Missions already scheduled for us.”
“Really?” I was shocked. I figured that my abysmal performance would mean that I’d be sidelined for a while.
“Yeah. Despite the whole getting hurt thing, which by the way is always a risk and does
not mean that you’re a bad Hunter, you did really well, everyone was impressed,” Henri praised me. I knew that he didn’t actually mean “everyone”; Mac clearly wasn’t impressed.
“Wow, thanks,” Henri’s approval meant almost as much.
“Don’t let it go to your head,” Erik teased. I shot him a death look, and he had the good grace to feign freight.
The first day back at practice was surprisingly easy. Once we started moving, my tight muscles stretched and loosened. My side was sore, but it felt much better than I’d anticipated.
We worked steadily the entire day, and I felt a sense of fulfillment when we finished for the afternoon.
Donavon’s Mission ended up taking longer than he’d predicted. As the days passed without word from him, I became increasingly more anxious. I called Mac’s communicator morning, noon, and night. He assured me everything was okay and I would be the first to know if something went wrong. Every night, lying in my bed, I opened my mind and tried to reach out to him, even though I knew he was too far away.
Chapter Twenty
During the days I trained harder, and longer, than I had before our Mission to Mexico City. At night, I spent time doing girly things with Penny: painting our nails, dying Penny’s roots, watching movies on her wall screen, and avoiding Erik. On my first day off since Donavon had been away I received permission, thanks to Henri, to go to Washington for the day. Just like last time, I was required to return before dark. I knew Mac was already playing favorites by letting me go, but I decided to see just how far his fatherly feelings for me went, and I begged him to let Penny go too. To my surprise, he grudgingly agreed.
Seeing the city with Penny was a completely different experience then seeing it with Erik and Henri. Penny was from the District originally and knew all the “best” places to shop. We spent over an hour in a store that sold every shade of nail polish ever made. Penny carefully picked out only colors that would clash horribly with either her bright hair or too green eyes. Next, she dragged me through aisle after aisle of a huge make-up and perfume store, stopping every so often to test a color of eye shadow or lipstick on the back of my hand. She loaded my basket with shades that “brought out the color in my eyes” or “matched my skin tone.”
After makeup we moved on to hair. I drew the line at dying my hair, but agreed to let the hair stylist braid purplish-blue pieces of hair in with my own brown curls to “accentuate my eyes.” I even let her talk me into buying two hair accessories; one made of beautiful black and deep green feathers that fastened to the side of my head, and the other was a tight web of large, shiny creamy pearls and crystals, that bounced the colors of the rainbow on the walls of the store when I twirled. I had no idea where I would wear either of them, but I got caught up in the moment, and I knew that Gretchen would love to have outfits made to match both.
Henri had only agreed to let us go shopping by ourselves if we promised to meet him at his favorite restaurant in plenty of time to make it back before dark. When we walked in I was overwhelmed by a tidal wave of blue; the booths were dark blue leather, the tables and chairs were powdery-blue plastic, and the floor was royal-blue linoleum. Even the walls were painted pale blue, and decorated with pictures of blue toned pictures. We were greeted by a short man with frizzy blue hair and big blue eyes framed by long blue eyelashes. He wore a pair of blue and silver stripped overalls with a silver shirt underneath. He didn’t speak, so much as grunt, that we should follow him. He led us to a booth in the back where Henri was sitting and chatting with the most beautiful man that I’d ever seen.
The man sitting next to Henri had fine, pale blonde hair that swept across his forehead and fell just above his perfectly shaped eyebrow. He had big, light brown eyes that shone with amusement as he conversed with Henri. His skin was fair and flawless over his delicate features. I instantly recalled what Donavon said, and wondered what his Talent was.
“Hello!” Henri greeted us.
“Hi,” Penny and I said, in unison.
“You must be Frederick,” I said warmly, extending my hand to him.
“It is a pleasure to meet you, Natalia,” Frederick replied, smiling and shaking my hand. “And you must be Penny?” He turned towards Penny and offered her his hand. She shook it enthusiastically, “Yes, I am.”
Penny and I climbed into the booth and picked up the blue menus before I realized that there was a fifth place sitting. My stomach gave a small flutter – I knew who the place setting was for.
“Sorry, I’m late,” Erik apologized, hurrying up to the table and confirming my suspicion.
“Don’t worry, Tal and Penny just arrived,” Henri dismissed his apology.
Erik slid into the booth, squishing me between him and Penny. His leg brushed against mine and, even through my pants, I felt a slight jolt, my stomach doing little flip-flop. I blushed and fumbled with my menu as both embarrassment and guilt washed over me.
After the initial awkwardness that I felt when Erik had arrived, dinner turned out to be a lot of fun. Henri ordered a bottle of Berry Blue Wine for us to share, but I restricted myself to only two glasses. I didn’t want a repeat of the campfire night, but the wine eased my tension and I relaxed. All the food came out, and unsurprisingly, it was all blue. When I looked in the mirror in the blue bathroom, I noticed that my tongue and lips were tinted blue.
Frederick kept up friendly conversation throughout the entire meal. He told us funny stories about work – he taught at the city school – and the people and students that he worked with. He told us about all of the places that we had to visit in the city, which I was assumed was for my benefit since the others had probably been to most of these places. Apparently the Blueberry wasn’t the only color themed restaurant in the city. Every color in the rainbow, and some in between, shared the distinction. Frederick also told us about a bar that’s made entirely of ice: the booths, the stools, cups, plates, everything was made of ice and the patrons had to wear special clothing so that they didn’t get frostbite. Similarly, there was a bar called the Grass Is Always Greener that was decorated to look like a grassy meadow; grass and flowers grew out of the dirt floor, and the ceiling was painted to look like the sky at mid-day. I was not sure if it was the wine, or Frederick’s infectious good mood, but by the time he finished describing the places, I was dying to go.
Much too soon, Henri announced that he needed return Penny and me back to headquarters.
“You stay, I’ll take them back,” Erik piped up.
“Really? Are you sure?” Henri asked, raising his eyebrows.
“Yeah, I was thinking that I’d head back to the cabin anyway. I don’t mind taking them.”
“Thanks, Erik.” Then turning to me and Penny, he added, “I’ll see you ladies tomorrow.” We finished saying our goodbyes, and Penny and I followed Erik in one direction while Henri and Frederick set off in the opposite one.
The wine had gone to my head, and I wasn’t drunk but I was definitely giddy. As a result, on the way home Penny and I recounted every minute of our shopping day in full detail. Erik was a good sport, even asking questions to encourage our chatter. We landed back at Headquarters just after sunset, and Penny and I agreed to spend the night playing with our new purchases.
“Tal, can we take a walk?” Erik asked quietly as I made to get out of the vehicle.
“I’ll take our things up to my room, just come up when you’re ready,” Penny offered.
“Thanks, Penny, see you soon,” I smiled, nervously.
“You bet. Thanks for the ride, Erik!”
I watched Penny walk off towards her building, both arms loaded down with our purchases. I fidgeted uncomfortably, waiting for him to say something.
“So, you wanted to take a walk?” I asked awkwardly, shifting my weight from one foot to the other.
“Let’s go down to the lake,” he offered.
I followed Erik without speaking, through the densely packed trees that lined the path down to the lake. I would have opened my mind a
nd tried to read Erik’s thoughts, but the alcohol was making it hard for me to concentrate. At least I was going to blame the alcohol for my concentration problems. I also thought that Erik might be intentionally blocking me out.
When we reached the lake, Erik sat on a large log. I hesitated before tentatively sitting down, careful not to touch him. We sat for several minutes in uncomfortable silence.
“Why are you avoiding me, Tal?” he asked, bluntly.
“I’m not avoiding you. I see you all day, every day,” I countered.
“Yes, but at night you keep running off to be with Penny.”
“This is the first time I’ve ever had a girl friend, Erik. I’m making up for lost time,” I reasoned.
“Making up for lost time?” he gave me a short laugh. I shrugged. “We should talk about what happened in Mexico City,” Erik continued, when I didn’t respond.
“There is nothing to talk about. I messed up. I got hurt. End of story.”
“First of all, you didn’t mess up; these things happen. All of us have been injured on a hunt. On one of my Missions, when I was still a Pledge, I broke my leg jumping from a roof that was higher than I thought. Henri had to carry me home,” Erik paused, and gave me a pointed look. “But we both know that’s not what I am talking about.” I could feel Erik’s eyes boring into me, but I refused to turn and look at him.
“Erik,” I started quietly, “you’re right, I have been avoiding you. Since getting back I have just been confused about things,” I said honestly – too honestly. Talking about my feelings didn’t come naturally to me, the fact that I was doing it now was unusual – maybe I was drunk.
“Confused about what things, exactly?” Erik’s voice was low, and there was a hint of something I couldn’t comprehend.
“Just things,” my voice rising an octave. “Like you and Donavon,” I blurted out. Crap. I should not have said that. Note to self, no more alcohol, even in small amounts. I started to stand, but Erik grabbed my wrist, and pulled me back down.
“Let me go, Erik,” I pleaded in a low voice.
“No, Tal. I want to talk about this.”