by Jordan Dane
They were trapped. No one would come for them. It’d be easy for Nate to close his eyes and let death happen, but a fire to live still burned in him. He couldn’t give in and he didn’t want Josh to do it, either.
“Stay with me, Josh. Talk to me…about anything.” He grabbed his friend by the collar and shook him, enough to make him wince. Pain meant he was alive. “Tell me about your date with Heather, the time you guys went to the prom last year.”
“W-what?” Josh winced. “Can’t…remember.”
The memory of prom felt absurd and distant, given what had happened, but it had been the first thing he thought of.
“Sure you can. Just talk to me. And don’t stop.” He fixed his friend’s collar, zipping it tighter around his neck to keep him warm. “How did Heather look? Do you remember?”
“Heather…she looked so…pretty. I r-ran out of gas…not my fault.” When Josh shut his eyes, he quit talking.
“Come on, Josh. Don’t…” He shook his friend again, but this time he had lost consciousness. “Oh, God.”
Seeing Josh passed out left Nate hurting for company. He didn’t want to die alone, but with Josh in bad shape, he didn’t have the heart to wake him. His friend would mercifully shut his eyes and drift into a forever sleep. He wouldn’t know what hit him, but that wouldn’t be the case for him. Nate knew he’d see death coming. He’d feel every inch of it and he’d be alone when it happened.
His body would do what it had to. As his core temperature dropped, his veins would collapse to keep blood flowing to his vital organs. Like Josh, his exposed skin and lips would turn a deathlike blue. But once his organs shut down one by one, he’d die a slow death. His body would go first before his brain would finally stop. The essence of who he was would flicker out last, trapped inside his dying body.
At his age, Nate hadn’t given much thought to dying.
Even now he refused to dwell on it. He focused on survival and drank what remained of the melted snow before he put on his gloves. When he tried to stand, dizziness made him sick again, but he pushed through it. He shined the flashlight through the cavern, looking for a way out. Even though he had no idea which way to go, he had to try.
With all his strength, he hoisted his body up a wall of snow and ice, using his crampons to dig his boots into the ice. He leaned into the formation to steady himself. After he got high enough with his perilous balancing act, he dug into the snow with both hands. Every move hurt and with his strained breathing, he choked with his mounting effort to dig. He risked suffocation if the snow caved in on them, but accepting their fate without doing anything wasn’t an option.
For both of them, Nate had to fight back.
There was no way he could dig his way out of where they were. His only hope would be if the snow caved in, enough to create a sinkhole on the outside that could signal where they were. Nate shut his eyes and heaved a sigh in prayer, hoping he wouldn’t make things worse by bringing the whole house of cards down on their heads.
He leaned as far as he could and scooped out large chunks, shoving them away from where Josh lay below. It didn’t take long for the snow to break free. Heavy slabs buckled and fell to the floor of the cavern. When the icy ceiling gave way, it collapsed a section of packed snow that had wedged into the crevasse.
With the rumble of falling snow, Nate cringed, hoping he wouldn’t smother them both. Every controlled movement of displaced snow made him feel like he had done something, but too much could end their fight to survive in minutes.
Sweating and out of breath, Nate worked without much thought to his numb fingers or the pain that shot through him with every move. But as the crevasse filled with a ghostly light behind him—enough for him to see his own shadow on a wall of ice—Nate knew he and Josh weren’t alone anymore. When he looked over his shoulder, the sight of the creature made him lose his balance—and he fell, hard. The jarring blow, of hitting ice with the force of his body, sent a jolt of pain through him.
“D-damn it,” he cursed.
Panting for air, Nate struggled to his feet and came within a few yards of the strange being that had returned to torture him. He stumbled and edged away, not taking his eyes off the brilliant pulsing light. When the filmy blue body of energy followed his move and drew closer, Nate did the only thing he could.
He talked to it.
“Who’s that girl…Abbey?” he blurted out. To his surprise, the creature stopped and hovered over him. “She’s special to you, isn’t she? Why is that?”
At the mention of Abbey’s name, the pulsating light slowed and the entity shifted into a steady soft glow that was easier on Nate’s eyes. A blue light, the color of the sky, shimmered in its body with tufts of white drifting through it, like clouds. For the first time, Nate thought the entity looked peaceful…and beautiful.
“What are you?” Nate really wanted to know, but he kept his distance and inched back as far as he could until his shoulders hit ice. “Where do you go when you’re not here…with us?”
He didn’t know if the entity could speak or understand him, but he had to try and reason with it, for both their sakes.
“Help us. Please. Josh has a family, a mom and baby brother. My parents and little sister, Zoey, are waiting for me to come home, too,” he pleaded. “Does that mean anything to you?”
What he said had an effect on the entity, but not what he hoped for. After Nate pleaded for help, the spirit swelled and its light erupted to pierce the shell of its body. Nate squinted and raised a hand to shield his eyes. Every shadow disappeared in the crevasse and melded into dazzling white. In his condition, Nate felt sick and dizzy as the brightness wreaked havoc on his equilibrium. When the intense light blinded him, it gave him a splitting headache.
Nate knew the creature wouldn’t listen anymore. Out of options with nothing to lose, he was done playing nice.
“What the hell are you? Why are you using me?” he shouted. When the thing kept coming, he shouted, “I won’t let you do this, not without a fight. If it’s the last thing I do, Abbey’s gonna know what you did. You hear me?”
With his threat, the creature slowed down, but it didn’t stop. It had come to take over his body again. Every time that happened, he lost consciousness, losing any opportunity he’d have to keep him and Josh alive. Being trained for mountain rescue, Nate needed to focus on their survival, but battling for control of his own body took all his energy—and brought both of them closer to dying.
“Every time you take me from Josh, he gets worse and so do I,” he yelled. “You’re killing us.”
In Nate’s weakened condition, he didn’t have the strength to resist. The fierce stab of light intensified and dazed him into a stupor as it came closer. When it forced its way into him, Nate felt a strange warmth as his mind flooded with picture postcard images of a mountain clearing overlooking a valley of evergreen trees covered in snow.
The last thing he remembered seeing—before he felt his body collapse hard to the snow—was Abbey’s face.
Abbey
Near Healy, Alaska
When I climbed the snowy mountain trail to the upper ridge, I fought the urge to run. My heart couldn’t wait to see Nate, but my brain held me back and reminded me that he could hurt me in a way no one else could.
When I finally got to the fire pit, I felt out of breath. I’d expected to see him right away like the other times, but when that didn’t happen, I couldn’t hide how I felt. The cold fire pit made me feel lonely. Not even the memories of my mother and marshmallows filled the void that Nate had left.
He’d promised to be there. Even as strange as that promise had been, I hadn’t realized how much I’d counted on it. I slumped onto a fallen log, feeling the full weight of my disappointment. The only evidence of our time together from the other night had been Dad’s flashlight. It lay
on the ground, covered by a thin dusting of snow, right where I’d left it. Last night, I’d raced off the mountain and forgot it. I reached over and held it in my hands, letting the metal chill my fingers.
But the shiver that skittered through my body had been for Nate.
Doubt made me scared that I’d never see him again. Yeah, that wasn’t rational, I know. I’d probably stalk him over the summer in town or I’d catch him in the fall when school started again, but a nagging sensation mired me in dark thoughts, compounded by my deepening and protective feelings for him.
“He’s not coming,” I whispered. Saying it aloud made it real. “Get over it.”
But when I heard the rasping caw of a raven and saw the black flash of wing in a tree, I knew I was wrong. Nate had come. He had an undeniable connection to those creatures in a way that I didn’t understand, but had accepted. When I heard a crunch of snow behind me and saw something dark move in the trees, I fought to calm my pounding heart. I stood and turned with a grin on my face.
“Nate?” I called out. “Where were you? I thought you weren’t…”
I couldn’t finish. Seeing him took my breath away. His face looked ghastly white and his skin was as blanched as a corpse. The dark circles under his beautiful blue eyes made him look sick. What he had on looked strange, too. He was dressed in layers of winter stuff—too much for this time of year in Healy—and he was harnessed in mountaineering gear as if he’d just come off Denali.
“What happened?”
When he stumbled forward, he reached out a hand for me and I took it. I wedged my shoulder under his arm to ease him down before he fell.
“What’s wrong, Nate?” I pleaded, holding him in my arms and touching his cold cheek. “Please…talk to me.”
Nate’s eyes closed. He looked sick. Really sick. And I had no idea why.
Chapter 10
Palmer, Alaska
“Oh, Bob, no.”
Jackie Holden choked back a gasp with tears stinging her eyes. Holding the phone in her trembling hand, she collapsed onto her living-room sofa, feeling weak in the knees and numb.
“How did it happen?” she asked.
“We woke up this morning and both of them were gone.”
“But why? That makes no sense. Nate knows better.”
“I know. That question has been killing me.” His sigh mixed with a wavering swell of static from the radio transmission. “We’ve been looking…storm wiped out their tracks. The boys must have wandered off during the night…for some reason…never found their way back, but Nate…took his beacon.”
“What about help from the ranger station?”
She plugged an ear and shut her eyes, straining to concentrate on every word he said when all she really wanted to do was scream.
“They’re on it. We have to wait for the weather…but that should be…a helicopter…in an hour.”
“Has someone contacted Josh’s parents?”
A long hiss on the line made her think he hadn’t heard her, but eventually he answered.
“Sarah is my next call.”
Jackie shut her eyes tight and fought a wave of nausea, her misery compounded by what Sarah Poole would be going through soon. A single mom, Sarah was very close to her two boys. She’d weathered a rough divorce with the help of her oldest son, Josh. Her little one, Kevin, had always been a ball of energy that took his share of her time. But Sarah had dedicated her life to taking care of her boys, making up for the ugly chapter in their lives when a contentious divorce threatened to drag them through hell.
“After you break the news, I’ll call her and invite her to stay here,” she said. “She shouldn’t be alone at a time like this. She could probably use the help with her youngest.”
“That’s—”
“What? You cut out. I didn’t hear you.”
“I said…good idea.”
The high winds on Denali and the erratic hiss of the radio transmission made it hard for Jackie to hear her husband on their landline connection, but his pain came through loud and clear. If there was anything as bad as hearing the devastating news about a missing son, it would be breaking that same news to another mother. Jackie couldn’t imagine being the one to make that call.
She hadn’t seen Bob cry many times, but she heard something broken in his voice now. Despite the distance between them, she felt the connection they had always shared. They’d built a life and a family together. They’d been partners in everything, including the decision they both had made about allowing Nate to join Bob’s spring expedition to Denali.
Jackie couldn’t help but second-guess that choice. She wanted her son home. Pressing a fist to her lips, she fought an aching emptiness inside her. When she could speak again, she had one question.
“What should I tell Zoey?”
Silence. She heard Bob clear his throat, but she knew what was really happening on his end of the conversation.
“Where is she?” he asked.
“She’s still sleeping.”
“That’s not like her.”
“Well, she had a rough night, something about a bad dream.”
Thinking of her daughter made the tears come faster. The hardest thing she had to do right now was fight back the urge to get angry and blame Bob for what happened. The way he led his life, on the edge, had influenced Nate to follow in his footsteps, but blaming her husband wouldn’t get Nate back and crossing over that line now would only tear her family apart.
“She’s a smart kid,” he said. “If you keep this from her, she’ll know…when this hits the TV news, she may see…You’ve got to find a way to tell her.”
“Tell her what?” When she heard the anger in her voice, she fought it. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…”
“I know you’re angry. I am, too…with myself. He’s missing because of me.”
Jackie shut her eyes and breathed in deep. There was plenty of guilt to go around, but now wasn’t the time to lash out.
“We don’t know why he’s missing, Bob. You said so yourself, but right now he needs you. We all do.”
This time when she heard his ragged breaths over the phone, all she wanted to do was hold him.
“You’ll find them, honey. When you do, both those boys will need your strength.” Fresh tears drained down her cheeks. “Call me, no matter what happens. I have to know.”
“Yeah…I w-will.”
With the agony in his voice unmistakable, she had only one thing left to say to him.
“I…l-love you.”
“I love you, too.”
After Jackie hung up the phone, she went to Nate’s room. For a long moment, she stood at the threshold, unable to step inside. It felt wrong, as if her aching sorrow would taint her memories of the boy she’d seen grow up within these four walls. Yet she couldn’t stay out, either. She felt a strong unbearable urge to connect with him. In stunned silence, she walked to his closet and looked inside, unsure what she searched for until she found it.
His varsity jacket.
She slipped it off the hanger and put it on, wrapping her arms around it like a hug. When nausea struck again, she looked for a place to collapse. Sinking onto Nate’s bed, she grabbed his pillow and clutched it to her chest, breathing in the scent of her only son. Through her husband, she’d heard the frightening stories of mountain rescues over the years and knew how precious every minute would be—and how quickly a rescue could turn into a body recovery operation.
“Nate,” she whispered. In the stillness of his room, her son’s name sounded like a prayer.
“Why are you crying, Mommy?”
Jackie jumped at the sound of her daughter’s small voice. When she turned, she saw Zoey at the door. Dressed in pink cotton pajamas, the little g
irl wiped sleep from her eyes with her stuffed moose clutched to her chest.
What would she say to Zoey?
Abbey
Near Healy, Alaska
I held Nate in my arms, too shocked to move. With him looking sick, I realized how stupid I’d been. I never thought about where he stayed in Healy and how he’d found me. Questions raced through my mind without any answers. I clutched him to me and brushed back his hair, feeling his forehead and cheeks with my hand. He felt ice-cold and he looked as pale as one of Dad’s “clients.”
When he moaned and moved his head, I blew out a sigh of relief.
“Nate? Can you hear me?” I raised my voice and patted his cheek. “Come on. I’m right here. Open your eyes.”
After his lashes fluttered, he opened his eyes and it took a long moment before he could focus on me. When he did, I smiled.
“Hey.” I cupped a hand to his cheek and kissed his forehead, fighting back the lump of emotion in my throat. “I thought you were…never mind.”
I could have held him forever. Our intimacy felt normal, like we’d done this before. Even though Nate looked coherent enough to sit up, he didn’t try. He let me hold him, but I had too many questions to pretend this wasn’t strange.
“Your skin is cold. And your face, you look…frozen.” I cradled his head in my arms. “What’s wrong with you?”
He gave me a weak smile before he reached for my hand and kissed it. “I had no idea how fatal envy could be.”
“Envy? I don’t understand.” I grimaced. “Is there anything I can do to help?”