by Jenika Snow
For the next twenty minutes Kink recapped on everything that happened, and then took him to see Lucien. The President was still unconscious, but his color wasn’t so ashen anymore and his vitals were stable. They stayed in the room for another ten minutes before Cain finally needed a drink.
“That’s fucked up, man,” Cain said and sat at the bar. He asked for a shot from Tatum.
“You’re finally out, man,” Kink said. Although he was happy Cain was finally paroled, it was hard to be in a positive mood right now and celebrate.
“Yeah, but it fucking sucks coming here and seeing all this shit going down. I just wish I had been here to help out my brothers.”
“Nah, I’m glad you didn’t have to be in that situation. You’ve been locked up for a long damn time, and the last thing you needed was to be put in that situation.”
Cain shook his head.
“But sorry about no welcome home party.” Kink clapped him on the back. “But once things settle down and get back to normal, we’ll party it up.”
Cain stared down at his shot glass, and it was the same position as Kink had been in a few moments before. “Sounds good.” Cain turned just his head and glanced at him. “I need to go see Fallina soon though.”
Kink nodded. “How is she?” He hadn’t planned on bringing up Cain’s daughter, because although it had been a long time since everything had happened, and she was an adult now, that shit never left a father. Kink knew that if some fucker tried to mess with Callie, he’d kill them without even blinking.
“She’s doing good, brother. She’s working as a preschool teacher over in Chatham View. Doing good with her therapy and all that shit, so I can’t complain.” This smile covered the big biker’s face, and Kink couldn’t help but feel the other man’s fatherly love. Hell, it was what Kink felt for Callie. “She came up to see me every week during those nine years, man, and it broke my fucking heart to see her leave. But at the same time I didn’t want her seeing me behind that glass.”
Kink nodded and clapped Cain on the back again. “Take your time, and when you’re ready, you know you’ll always have a place at the table in River Run.”
Cain nodded and tossed back the second shot Tatum put in front of him. “Thanks, Kink, but I have a lot of unfinished business to take care of, shit that might get me locked away for good this time.” Cain looked at Kink, and the hardness in his black cold eyes spoke volumes. Cain wasn’t nearly done with the asshole that hurt his daughter, and it was clear that the other man was going to get his revenge one way or another.
Kink leaned in close, and said, “If you need back-up, you know we are always here for you.”
Cain nodded but didn’t say anything. They sat in silence for a moment, and Kink realized he wanted to talk to Cain, to see how he was really doing. Prison changed a man, no matter how rough and tough he was. Cain might be a whopping six-foot-six, and even bigger in muscle mass now than when he went in, but once someone went to prison a little piece of him was chipped away for good. If Cain wanted to talk about it, then Kink and the rest of The Brothers would be here.
He wasn’t going to get into what had happened to Sarah, not right now. There was so much heartache, anger, and mixed emotions that were swarming through the men right now. Bringing this up to Cain wouldn’t do any good. There would be time to sit down, talk about everything, and make sure the information on both sides was out in the open. Several of the other members came forward and greeted Cain. They had all been friends for what seemed like a lifetime, and having the other man back was a good fucking thing, and would strengthen the club. “Listen, I’m going to talk to you later. I want to see my old lady.”
Cain grinned. “I heard about that from the prospect that was jabber jaws in the car, Pierce, I think his name was.”
Kink nodded. “Yeah, he likes to run his mouth.”
“Old lady huh?” Cain asked, still smiling. “Never thought I’d see the day when your kinky ass would settle down. I’m happy for you.”
Kink flipped Cain off good heartedly, but smiled. He turned and left Cain to talk with the other guys, and hunted out Cookie. He needed her, needed to hold her. There was nothing like a nightmare of a situation to put perspective on life in a man, even a stubborn, hardheaded bastard like him.
****
Lucien stared at Callie through the open doorway. He had woken up last night, was in some fucking pain, but thankful to be alive. He remembered everything up until he looked down at his thigh and saw the bullet wound. Then he had passed the hell out, and everything had been dark until last night. But the fucked-up part out of all of this, even after the gunfire, the dead bodies, and the bombing, was that Callie had been the first thing that came to his mind when consciousness took over. It was messed up in the worst kind of way, and although she wasn’t quite eighteen yet, and he knew he would never touch her in that way because she was so young, he honestly didn’t know if he’d be able to stay away when she was legal. It wasn’t about a sexual relationship with her. It was a lot more complicated than that. He felt something in his cold heart when he looked at her, like it was beating solely for that one woman.
Fucking hell, Lucien.
He knew it was wrong to want her, knew it was against the unspoken code that no one in the club fucked with their kids. He didn’t know why he had this need to be with her, to talk to her and make sure she was okay. It wasn’t just about wanting to protect her because she was Kink’s daughter, and that he would have done the same for any of the members’ kids. It was a hell of a lot more, something that consumed him ever since he had seen her vulnerable at that bus stop with those assholes around her. He had been the one to help her, to make sure she was okay, and he knew there wasn’t anything that could take that away, no matter how much he thought it should be gone.
All the Brothers had come to see him as soon as he had woken up, and that had gone a long way in helping him put Callie behind him, at least for those twenty minutes. But now she stepped into the room, and he felt his pain take a move to the back of his subconscious as the things he shouldn’t feel moved through him. She looked tired and sad, and he wished like hell he could take that all away from her.
“Hi,” she said softly, almost as if she were afraid to say anything.
“Hey, kid.” He hadn’t meant to call her that, because it almost seemed like a jab at their age difference. “You doing okay?”
She moved closer and pulled out a chair so that she was sitting beside his bed. “I’m okay,” she said, and then stayed silent for a few seconds. “Listen, I don’t know what to really say.” She looked up from her lap, and this big tear slid down her cheek.
“Callie, what’s wrong?”
She shook her head. “These are happy tears. I’m just glad you’re okay. Seeing you lying there unconscious…” She swallowed roughly. “It was horrible, Lucien.”
He shifted on the bed and gritted his teeth when pain lanced up his side.
“No, don’t move. I just wanted to say I’m glad you’re okay.” She stood, but he reached out and took hold of her hand.
“Callie, I know when someone is lying to me. Tell me what the fuck is wrong.”
She stared at him for a moment and slowly pulled her hand away. She curled her fingers into her palm so they formed tight fists on her thighs. “My life feels like it’s unraveling right before me, like I can’t control anything anymore.” She was crying steadily now and lifted her hand to brush the tears away. “My mom died, Lucien. Her and Dale were in a car accident the other day—”
He didn’t say anything, didn’t know what to say that would make the situation any less horrific. He stopped her from continuing by pulling her closer and wrapping his arms around her body. The pain was excruciating, but holding her, having her close to him, made that discomfort feel like an annoyance. She shook and cried, and all he could do was hold her. For the first time in his fucking life, he felt at a loss on how to control a situation, he and didn’t know how to make it right.
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Chapter Sixteen
Two weeks later
Cookie tightened her hold on Kink’s waist and rested her cheek against his back. His cut was smooth leather and buttery soft, and the smell of age and of it being well cared for filled her nose. She closed her eyes and couldn’t stop herself from smiling. Two weeks had already passed, and although that really wasn’t any time at all, it still felt like years had already gone by. Although it had been a couple of weeks since Kink and the other guys had come back from dealing with the cult, and things were slowly starting to get back to the way they had been, there was still this heaviness that was with all of the guys. Cookie could feel it weighing down on the club, and when she was around the guys it felt suffocating. That part of the danger might be over with, but there was still the death of Callie’s mom, Lucien almost dying, and something else going on that she couldn’t figure out yet.
Lucien was on the mend, but he seemed different, more reserved. Maybe that was the weirdness that she also felt, like he was holding something back? After he got shot he certainly was harder now, if that was even possible, and the look in his eyes was always calculating. It was different from how it was before. She didn’t know him very well, but even then she knew he was a powerful man. Now he seemed almost dead inside, and although she didn’t know how to help him, she wanted to regardless. But then again it really wasn’t her place to try to help anyone that wasn’t ready to be helped, and whatever Lucien was going through was something he wasn’t ready to let go of just yet.
Over the last two weeks her relationship with Kink had progressed slowly, but she was thankful for that. When she had first started working for the club she had only seen herself traveling the country and not settling in one spot. Although she still wanted to do that, she also saw herself here, in River Run, and in Kink and even Callie’s life. She had never had anyone in her life that really mattered, and certainly hadn’t ever had anyone that cared for her in a genuine way. But she had that here, with the MC. It warmed her, made her feel like she wasn’t a waste of space, and wasn’t that what life was all about? Now she sat on the back of his Harley with the wind blowing through her hair, the sun streaming down on her back, and the strength and power she felt from Kink filling her. The thought of Callie consumed her for a moment, and she wanted to cry for the young girl all over again. It might have only been fourteen days since Callie had found out about her mom passing, but the girl was strong, and she was taking one day at a time. She was moving on with her life and trying not letting the grief consume her. But Cookie was there for her, and so was Kink. Cookie may only be a few years older than Callie, but she cared about her, and saw her as this vulnerable and damaged young woman who needed to know she was loved. Callie needed to know she wasn’t alone, and that Cookie knew how she felt, knew the desperation that could consume a person until there was nothing left. With Callie’s eighteenth birthday only a couple of weeks away, Cookie had been trying to make this a memorable celebration. Cookie didn’t want a celebration that would further bring sadness to her life since this would be the first birthday Callie would have to celebrate without her mother here.
The funeral had passed, a hard situation, but surprisingly Callie had asked Cookie to go with her. They had been getting closer ever since Callie had gotten the phone call, and she couldn’t help but see herself in Callie. And then Cookie had helped Callie move out of her mother’s house and in with Kink. Cookie might not live with Kink, despite how much she cared about him, but she knew that right now he needed to be there for Callie. It was going to be a long road for her, and right now she needed to be surrounded by people that cared for her.
They had been riding for the last twenty minutes, and were well outside of River Run city limits. Cookie pushed all of the grief and sorrow that had filled her life in the past, and when she had been with the club, and rested her hands behind her. She may not be holding onto Kink any further, but this small bit of freedom made her feel like the world wasn’t as grim as she had always seen it. With her eyes closed she tilted her head back and breathed in deeply. Being like this felt as if she were flying, as if nothing tethered her to the world and she could just float away without any worries.
“You doing good, baby?” Kink asked over the rumble of the Harley’s engine.
“Yeah,” she said, and heard the happiness, excitement, and even relief in her voice. They were going to the small lake that sat between River Run and Steel Corner. She had read up about the sights around the town when she had first been brought to River Run, but had stayed in this little bubble of her life. The lake was a secluded area that was mainly used for fishing and boating, but the spot Kink said they were going to was more isolated and private. This spot was quiet and the perfect place for them to spend some time together. She wasn’t about to talk about her former life, about her past or what had happened to her again. That was done, she had said what she needed to say, and she hoped Kink respected that. She just wanted to move on now.
He drove his bike down the gravel road for another five minutes and finally pulled off to the side and cut the engine. He was off the Harley first, and had his hands wrapped around her waist and hauled her off the bike before she could even move. For several seconds all Kink did was hold her, and she knew he was still dealing with the almost death of a man he considered a part of his family. It had been hard for all the members, but it seemed like Kink was taking it especially hard. She knew Lucien was like a brother to Kink, and although she comforted him, until she had actually started to care about the people that surrounded her, she hadn’t been able to relate to the bombardment of emotion. But she also knew the club members held themselves in check. Cookie could see on their faces the anger that they barely restrained. These men weren’t just bikers or alpha all the way—they were a breed all their own.
The sound of the wind whistling through the trees had a hypnotic quality to it, but it was the sound of Kink’s beating heart beneath her ear that lulled her to calmness. He grabbed a blanket from one of his saddlebags and reached out to take her hand. Kink led them down the path that led to the lake, and then laid the blanket out in front of the water. Kink gestured for her to have a seat. They sat side-by-side, neither saying anything, and both focusing on the water.
He turned and faced her after a few moments, and just stared at her. Then he lifted his other hand and cupped her cheek. “I have a lot of things on my mind, Cookie, things that make me realize that I don’t want to spend my life without you, baby.”
“I feel the same way, Kink.”
He shook his head slowly. “No, baby, I don’t think you realize how much I care about you.” He took her hand and placed it right over his heart. The act was so very gentle and caring that it brought a wave of emotion to her. This biker was big, muscular, and brought fear in other men with just a look. But here he was, holding her hand over his heart, and looking at her with this vulnerable, open expression. “I’ve already talked to you about being my old lady, but I want you to know it means more than just being there, Cookie.” He started rubbing his thumb along her cheek with his other hand, and she lifted her hand and placed it over his. It was strange to be able to feel someone’s emotions as strongly as if they were her own.
“I know this is going to sound fucking crazy, but, Cookie, baby, you’re my life.” He let go of her and faced the lake once more. It seemed like ages that they sat there in silence, but it was a very comfortable, easy silence.
“The shit I’ve seen and done sometimes keeps me up at night, Cookie.” He faced her again. “But since you’ve come into my life I’ve realized that all the dark shit I’ve done doesn’t compare to the pure feeling I have for you.”
For the next fifteen minutes she listened to him talk about Callie and everything he had been through with Sarah. She didn’t speak, just listened to him unload this burden that clearly weighed heavily on him.
“I know you talked a little about your past, but I want you to know that I’m here to listen to what
ever you have to say.”
She smiled and glanced down at his lips. “Honestly, talking about all the bad stuff that happened while I was growing up doesn’t change anything, and it doesn’t help me in some kind of therapeutic way.” She searched his face with her gaze. “It isn’t that I don’t trust you, or don’t want to confide in you—”
“I get it.” He smiled softly. “I really do understand, and I’m okay with whatever you decide. I know that rehashing all that toxic stuff doesn’t help some people.” He leaned in and pressed his forehead to hers. “I just want you to know that if you ever need someone to talk to, I hope you let me be that person you need.”
They had already started rebuilding the MC building that had gotten bombed. The girls had moved out of the clubhouse and back to the cabin since the explosion hadn't affected it. It had been nice staying at the clubhouse, being around the guys while Lucien recovered, and spending time with Callie. She had learned a lot about the young girl in these last couple of weeks, and not just the pain that Callie felt. Cookie hadn’t spoken to her about Lucien, although she wanted to, because she could see how Callie looked at the club President. It was the same longing way Lucien looked at Callie. That was going to be another situation that stirred shit up, for sure, especially if Lucien and Callie acted on what they felt for each other. But fortunately Kink was so focused on Callie’s feelings with the passing of Sarah that he wasn’t even paying attention to the chemistry happening with his daughter and the much older Lucien. He was blind to a lot of things, stuff that would most likely put him in a rage if he ever realized what was happening right in front of him. Cookie had thought about bringing it up to Kink, but she realized it wasn’t her place. She didn’t know for sure what was going on, and Callie needed to bring this up.