As he quitted the room, Elizabeth felt how improbable it was that they should ever see each other again on such terms of cordiality. She threw a retrospective glance over the whole of their acquaintance, so full of contradictions and varieties, and sighed at the perverseness of those feelings, which would now have promoted its continuance, and would formerly have rejoiced in its termination.
In the hallway, Darcy directed the nearest servant to find Kent, whom he believed was in the music room with Victoria, Miss Kent, and Georgiana. The footman left to carry out his orders.
Within moments, Kent entered the study just as Darcy was handing several letters to his steward. “Darcy, did you wish to see me?”
“I need your advice.”
“Mine? You usually seek out Rawlings.”
“This involves him, and, besides, you have great insight, as I have learned.”
Darcy paced back and forth in front of the window after Kent took his seat. When he finally stopped walking, he sighed. “What I have to say must be kept confidential, although I was not asked for secrecy.”
After Kent nodded, Darcy released a long sigh before delving into the situation with Miss Lydia.
“Oh my God. You are correct. Rawlings will not be pleased. This scandal will not help any of us. Mr. Gardiner is our partner, and the Peregrine will have a good laugh at our attaching ourselves to this family. Tradesmen! I can hear them now. This cannot help us, Darcy.”
“That is not my biggest concern. Our success will generate its own respect. Now, I need your advice. I plan on leaving for London and locating the scoundrel. I am the only one with any chance of finding him. I know all his old haunts and his old friends. I will start there.”
“And the advice?”
“What do I tell Rawlings? And Bingley, should he be kept in the dark? I want to act in their best wishes, it is just I am not the best one to know what that is.”
“And you think I do? Why do you ask me?”
“Your heart is the only one not tied to the Bennet family.”
“Oh. Yes, I see.”
Darcy poured him a cup of tea to match the one he fixed for himself. He asked for Kent’s opinion.
“You have no choice. If this had happened to Lady Victoria, I would never forgive you for not telling me. You must bring Rawlings into this. He must be told regardless of how hurtful it will be.”
“He has been hurt before. Oh, why, did that silly girl not see the true value in Rawlings? He would have cared for her like no other and would have slowly lowered her willful ways to where she would still have fun, but within reasonable limits. He would have been the best of men for her. I cannot tell him.”
“You must. He would never forgive you.”
“I know, I was merely dreading it.” Darcy chuckled. “On the way to Pemberley, I even told him I would bring Miss Lydia here one day.”
“Much like you brought Lady Victoria here for me?” When Darcy nodded, Kent sighed. “We are grown men and should be able to handle our own love affairs.”
“You did not mention Blake. Should he not be told?
“He is aware of the situation.”
“You realize he cannot overlook his status. One day he will inherit his father’s title. I do not believe he can ignore the damage first as done by Lord Charnwood’s gambling, and now to overcome how this scandal would impact his name.”
“And Miss Elizabeth must be shielded from the viciousness of the Ton. They will never accept her once this is known. The moment the word leaks out, the duke will begin spreading the gossip.”
Kent shrugged. “I doubt she cares. She laughs at them.”
“But her children would be hurt.”
“By whom? This scandal will long be forgotten.”
“His family will not overlook it.”
“His family? Or yours, Darcy? Are we really talking about him?”
“No. You are correct. I lapsed back into my old self.”
“A lifetime of prejudice is hard to overcome.”
“That it is, but what you say is true. Blake has plans for his future and scandal will hurt him.”
“Yes, I agree. But only he can make the decision. Did he and Miss Elizabeth come to an agreement last night?”
Darcy sighed. “So you know about last night?”
“I have great insight, as you said.” Kent chuckled, but Darcy remained serious.
“Miss Elizabeth indicated they are not engaged, but I do not know if it is because she has not given her answer, or if Blake has not yet proposed.”
“Oh. And, Bingley?” Kent sighed. “He is a different problem. The scandal does not affect him as much, and I know he would be willing to lie in front of a stampeding carriage to help Miss Bennet. But he should not do so if she does not return his feelings. Miss Bennet would undergo a sense of obligation, and he does not want her that way. He desires only her love, not her body.”
“Ah, Bingley.” Darcy’s pace picked up.
Kent refilled his cup and handed it to him. “Miss Bennet’s feelings are the key. Still in this case, I would tell him. He is able to handle things.”
“I would first like to find out how she feels. Has Mr. Goulding won her affections? Mr. Gardiner was vague about his attentions to her at dinner last night. After this scandal, would he continue to pursue her? I just do not know. Perhaps Mrs. Gardiner could reveal it to me if I explain it in the right context. Wait. I am sure they have already left for London.”
“I believe they have.”
Darcy stopped pacing. “Damn!”
“What?”
“I have known since Easter that Miss Bennet favored him above others. I also concealed her visit to his townhouse to visit his sister this past winter.”
“Oh? Why have you waited to tell him?”
“Bingley would be heartbroken a second time if she has since transferred her affections to another. Mr. Gardiner has not been forthcoming regardless of my attempts to learn the truth. I have waited to speak directly to Miss Elizabeth. She is the only one who will know the truth. If Miss Bennet still favors him, I will admit everything. If not, then I cannot hurt him just to satisfy my guilt. I cannot.”
“I see.” Kent sipped his drink. “He is a dilemma. But once the others know would it be possible to keep it from him?”
“No. I suppose not. If it was just him, I would wait.”
“But now?”
“I will tell him.” Darcy sighed. “I will tell all of them everything.”
Kent patted Darcy on the back. “It will be well, my friend. It will be well.”
Darcy first checked to determine if the Gardiners had left, and when he discovered they had, he then sent for Bingley, Rawlings, and Blake. He secured their promise for secrecy for what he would reveal must remain confidential. While he spoke and unfolded the situation with Elizabeth’s youngest sister and Wickham, he studied their reactions. Bingley’s jaw dropped, and he raised his brows to full height, a blank expression remained on Blake’s face, but the third man’s pupils turned black.
“Wickham. Wickham.” Rawlings bellowed. “Blast that man. I tried to warn Mr. Bennet. He rebuffed everything I said. Why did you not warn him, Darcy?”
“What I am about to repeat is to go no further. Do I have your promise?” They agreed.
He recited from memory the words he had written to Miss Elizabeth. He explained his sister’s intended elopement and the revenge Wickham sought. He also told them he never once suspected the rake would be interested in the Bennets once he had heard about their lack of dowries. He admitted his mistake. Darcy slumped into a chair. Kent poured all the men a drink.
Darcy continued. “I plan on leaving at first light. I will send word to a few well placed individuals to be on the lookout for Wickham and a few of his associates. I must return to London. I must locate an address for one particular associate.” He stood. “If you wish to help, meet me in the morning. I will explain everything to my sister now, and then I am retiring for the rest of the day.
”
Blake remained silent, excused himself, and left for his chambers. Rawlings departed as well, his steps slow and plodding as he mumbled curses. Bingley remained, sitting quietly as he tapped the arm of the chair. “I will pack my things immediately. I will be heading out to Netherfield Park at first light.”
“Do you recognize the significance in this elopement?” Darcy asked. “I have no doubt he will not marry her, which will reflect poorly on her sisters.”
“Yes, of course, but I have no care along those lines. I am positive that today, Miss Bennet is burdened with her family, and with Miss Elizabeth away, there is no one to help her. Mr. Bennet would be in London and Mrs. Bennet would be hard to handle. And yes, I understand that with no funds, as Caroline rejoiced repeatedly about Miss Bennet’s status, and now hampered with a scandalous sister; no one would be willing to take on the Bennet family. Miss Bennet would be relegated to spinsterhood or someone’s companion or governess. I know that she never loved me, but I loved her. I must help her during this time. Perhaps if the neighborhood witnesses my friendship, the Bennets will not be shunned. I must do this for Miss Bennet’s chances to marry in the future, otherwise no man would be willing to connect himself to her.”
Darcy pointed to the chair, inviting Bingley to sit. “I need to reveal a deception on my part, but at the same time I am concerned that your hopes may be raised.
“Every man needs hope, Darcy.”
He felt a shiver down his spine when he heard those words. “You are correct. I… I learned from Miss Elizabeth months ago that Miss Bennet did favor you. I had been wrong in my assumption.”
“She did!” Bingley jumped up excited and then glowered at his friend. “Why did you not send me word? I do not understand. All these months you left me wondering!”
“I have more to admit. Miss Bennet called on your sister in town in January. We concealed her visit from you. We believed her family to be desperate.”
“After you knew she cared for me?”
“No. She was in London in January.”
“I understand why Caroline would do such a thing, but you—I do not understand at all.” Bingley leaned back in his chair. His surprise was great at first, and then he squinted as he contemplated what he heard. “But why would Miss Elizabeth tell you?”
“Because she rejected my proposal of marriage and said separating you from her sister was one of the reasons for her refusal. She told me Miss Bennet happiness depended upon you, and that I was the one who ruined any chance you two had, leaving you both in misery of the acutest kind.
“You offered marriage? To Miss Elizabeth?” Bingley asked. “I thought you said the Bennets were beneath us! No, I cannot believe she loved me. My God. If she loved me, what must she think of me? I never returned. Why did I listen to you? All this time!”
“Miss Bennet is a beautiful woman that would please any man. I planned to tell you if Miss Elizabeth said her sister’s feelings had remained unchanged. I did not wish to raise your hope if she had transferred her affections. I planned to confess, not to alleviate my guilt, but to give you a chance. But only if she still loved you. Now, however, with this situation, I could not ask her since they have left for Longbourn. I do apologize, Bingley. My interference was absurd and impertinent.”
Darcy watched the range of emotions cross Bingley’s face. From his own recent experiences, he recognized the angry glower and furrowed brow that turned into quizzical expression and finally to the down turned mouth of depression.
Bingley sighed and lowered his head. “She must despise me. She thinks I did not care for her and abandoned her for London society. How she must have suffered.
“I am sorry to give you such pain,” Darcy said quietly.
“Me? My pain is of no consequence. Hers is all that is important.” Bingley dropped his head in his hand. “In her eyes, I acted like a flirt, a cad. What she must have endured at my absence.”
“She does need support. You said so yourself. She may still love you, Bingley. You said every man needs hope. Do you not wish to discover the truth?”
After contemplating the possibility for several minutes, Bingley lifted his head, and with a grin said, “Yes, I do. Today you have given me something I have not had for eight months. Yes, I will go. I will help her, and I will discover for myself if she still cares. There, I am resolved.”
“No, you cannot. Not yet.”
“Why?”
“If you went to her now she would surely accept you. You must consider what her life has become. Everyone in Meryton has learned of this scandal by this time. The Bennets will be shunned.”
But that is the reason to go. I cannot bear to think of her that way.”
“But you cannot force her hand either. First, we must right the situation. I am the one responsible and I must repair the mistake. I believe it is possible. Do not go to her until then. And we must never reveal how we interred and especially if we successfully gave them back their good standing. Never, Bingley. Do not make it impossible for her to say no if she does not love you. Is that not what you fought all this time?”
“I cannot bear to think of her in distress. I cannot.”
“If you love her you must. You must, my friend. When you go to her, she must be able to choose you freely and she cannot do so if she must answer while a scandal surrounds her. Let her choice be true. She will never question her decision. When you see her again make sure she is not ashamed of her situation.”
“I see you point, except I am not you and Miss Bennet is not her sister. Jane is a truthful and honest person and she needs me. I will go to her. I will not allow you or anything else to keep me from her this time. I will not let one more day of unhappiness rule her life.”
Darcy opened his mouth but closed it again when he felt his friends black glare falling on him.
“I once claimed I was a man of action and you laughed at me, all of my friends did so. No more shall I allow anyone to think so little of me. I will rely upon my own opinion. These past six months with Uncle Watt has proven that I am a worthy man. I admit I have a much to learn before I am truly independent, but today will mark my change. I am going to Netherfield Park. I will offer my dear, sweet Jane my help. I will admit my failure in not trusting myself, trusting her. I will propose, but I will not accept an answer until this scandal is resolved. In doing so, she will have hope while we wait. Darcy, I am resolved.”
Darcy moved to his friend and squeezed his shoulder. “You are the most worthy of men, Bingley.”
Bingley slipped off to his bedchambers with a smile on his face and a lighter step to his walk.
***
The next morning found Darcy standing at the door, looking up at the stairs. Bingley was at his side prepared to leave for Netherfield. Kent was not present; he had agreed to remain at Pemberley since many other guests would be arriving over the next several days. He and his sister would assist Georgiana in her hostess duties. The Lunar Society Meeting would be held as scheduled.
Darcy waited for several minutes more before turning to leave.
“They have their reasons, my friend.” Bingley said. “Do not think less of them.”
“Yes, they do each have their own reasons, and I understand how Miss Lydia’s actions have affected them. Rawlings is hurt and Blake believes, as a member of nobility, he cannot overcome this scandal. I do not hold it against either man, but I must do something. I am the only one that knows the rake well enough to save the silly girl. I had only hoped to offer her a different…”
A World of Expectations_Book 2_The Confrontation Page 45