“Grant, I’m sorry to do this but, can I call you back? I need to settle my girls in for dinner. It’ll just be about five minutes.”
“I can hold. Do what you need to,” he replies, and I hear the telltale sounds of an engine starting.
“I appreciate that, but it could go off the rails at any moment. How about I get them settled so we can talk? It would help me to be focused and take some notes. Say thirty minutes?”
After he agrees, I disconnect the call and stick the earbuds in my pocket and pad my way to the living room where the girls are watching their favorite princess movie.
“Ari, dinner is ready. Come on, Cali Bear, dinner time.” Jumping into my arms, my baby girl squeals, and I know these moments are coming to an end soon. Gone will be the cuddly toddler she is and in her place, a toddler full of sass and opinions.
I blow a raspberry on Cali’s cheek as she laughs and squirms in my arms while watching Arizona pick up the remote and pause the movie before attempting to fold the blanket they were cuddled under. She does these things, adult things she shouldn’t worry about at her age.
Piper says she does the same thing at school. She’s a bit of a mother hen even in kindergarten and it breaks my heart. I do everything I can to encourage her to be a kid, to run and play. To make a mess and create a land of make-believe but regardless she’s a mini adult. I carry an extreme amount of guilt; although she was young and I hoped the last few years hadn’t affected her, it’s clear they have.
“Come on chickadee, leave that blanket alone. Let’s get your dinner before it’s cold.”
Nodding her head, my daughter skips and hops her way to the kitchen, which only entices her sister to wiggle herself out of my arms to chase her. When both girls are settled at the table, I pour them each a glass of milk.
Sitting at the table with them, we spend the next twenty minutes talking about their movie, one Ari can easily recite word for word, and go about finishing our dinner. There are some nights I miss the larger home we had before the car accident. The large yard was the selling point for me. Perfect for children, it was everything I’d ever dreamed of. Jeff and I worked hard to purchase that home, to begin our life as young parents with dreams of a beautiful future.
I’m grateful to have these moments with our girls, to share a simple dinner of grilled cheese sandwiches as they jabber on and poke at one another. When my mind wanders to memories of the life we had planned instead of appreciating the here and now, I have to stop myself and do a little exercise that my therapist has helped me create.
Don’t focus on the loss or the what ifs. Instead, think of one positive thing that has happened today. Then something great for the week, the month, or whatever I can muster. It’s about filling the voids the accident left with the good things in our life today. I can’t live in a sea of what ifs. I’ll drown again. Lose myself in ways I may never come back from.
A loud belch pulls me from my thoughts, my eyes darting to Cali who has wide eyes and an equally large smile on her face.
“Cali Marie Jennings!”
Giggling, she scampers off her chair and throws her body across mine. I’m hip to her game. When you think Mom may be upset, hug her and fill her with affection. Brushing the hair away from her face, I lift her face up to look at me.
“Baby, where are your manners?”
“Scuse em’ me.”
Shaking my head, I turn her away and swat her little bottom as she giggles and runs out of the room. Turning my attention to Arizona, I catch her giggling and smile at the sweetness of the sound.
“Mama?”
“Yes, honey?”
“Do you think one day you’ll find us a new daddy?”
Her words hit me like a sledgehammer to the gut. I’ve been waiting for this conversation, but I thought maybe I had until closer to her teen years before we’d have this talk. Taking a drink of water, I contemplate how to respond. Really, I need to run through the library of responses I have filed away in anticipation of this moment.
“Come here,” I say, motioning for her to come to my side of the table. Settling on my lap, she looks up at me, large brown eyes clear and curious waiting for me to say something pivotal. Something great and full of meaning.
“Arizona, you have one daddy and no matter what he’ll always be your daddy. Whenever you want to talk about him, I want to tell you everything I can.”
What are the chances that’ll be enough?
“But Jaxon T said we aren’t a family unless we have a daddy.”
I’m going to find Jaxon T’s parents and give them a piece of my mind. What a little brat.
“Baby, no two families look the same. Family is what you make of it and because of the people you love and who love you back.”
“Like Uncle Owie? He loves me most and I love him too. Oh, and Auntie Piper. She tells me all the time she loves me. Except at school cause some kids might get jealbus.”
I don’t bother correcting her and instead hug her to my chest, “Yes, Ari just like Uncle Owie and Auntie Piper. Do you think we need a daddy?”
She looks off to the distance, her little brows furrowed. Obviously in deep thought, I smirk as I wait for her to reply. When she turns her attention back to me, she smiles and says, “Maybe to fix the fire ’larm when it makes that really loud noise. I don’t think the broom was the right tool like you said.”
She’s got a point.
“How about we live our best life and see what happens?” Like ending this conversation because the last thing I want is to think of this the rest of the night when I have a business call to make.
“’Kay. Imma finish my movie.”
Without another word, she slides off my lap and rushes to the other room. When I hear her ordering her sister around, I know the topic is put to rest.
For now.
“So you may want acreage but then again something with minimal upkeep has appeal? And you don’t know if you want a ranch or two-story? A little renovation is appealing but you don’t want something that needs reconstruction.”
Groaning, Grant mumbles something I can’t quite decipher but I have a feeling I’m not meant to.
“I know, I sound like an idiot but honestly, Dakota, I have no idea what I want. Hell, I don’t even know why I’m considering buying anything. I’ve never owned a house before, seems ridiculous to purchase my first at my age.”
We’ve been on the telephone about forty minutes, and I am no closer to knowing what Grant is looking for in a house. Or property. Or condo. Or … honestly, he has no idea what he wants so it only makes sense that I’m equally as lost. Leaning back in my chair, I tap my lip as I think.
“How about this? What don’t you want?”
“Neighbors.”
“What?” Does he want some sort of hillside compound? Why do the good looking ones have to be weirdos?
“Neighbors. Well, not completely, just not so close I can hear them blow their nose. Being in the military, I figured when I returned to civilian life, I’d want to be near other people. I’ve lived in close quarters for so long, it seemed like a natural move. Turns out, I don’t love living on top of my neighbors. People are weird.”
He has a point and maybe isn’t quite the weirdo I thought he was. I love my little rental, but gosh, I’d love to have more space. To give the girls room to roam and play. Explore and play make-believe.
“Well, taking neighbors off the table eliminates a lot of options. This is good. What else?”
“Tell me what you’d want,” he encourages.
“Me?”
“Yes, you.”
That’s a loaded question. I want the large yard I had before the accident. I want the husband and partner I had before the accident. I want a life like I had before the accident.
“I . . . uh . . .”
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to put you on the spot. Never mind. Why don’t you put together a few options and I’ll come to town next week to see them. Does that work for you?”
“I have Wednesday free. Would that work for you? Unless you have to work or something. Technically I also have time on Saturday, but my sister is in full bridezilla mode and I need to be available for her.”
“Wednesday is perfect,” he says with a chuckle. A deep rumbling and slightly gravelly chuckle. Get a grip, girl. “Remember, I’m open to anything.”
Apparently, I may be too.
Chapter 10
Grant
Zipping my duffle bag, I take a minute to scan my room and make sure I have everything. Eying my cologne on the dresser, I snag it and toss it in the bag before exiting my room. Making my way through the small house, I double check the locks on the door before exiting through the kitchen to my SUV.
The early morning hours aren’t as lonely when I have somewhere to be or someone waiting on me. Not that I have the latter but knowing there is something on my agenda for the day makes the hours before dawn less intimidating and isolating.
Before I take the road out of town, I head across town toward Sunny Hills. Last night when I was there, Gene was coughing up a storm and although he insisted it was no big deal, something in my gut says otherwise. Pulling into the parking lot, I see an ambulance parked in front of the main doors. My heart drops to my stomach at the thought the cough really was worse than my cantankerous friend let on.
Slamming the car into park, I jump from the vehicle and rush to the main doors and down the hall to his room. The sound of coughing and swearing coming through the door is a relief. I stop to catch my breath and slow my racing heart. I look up to see the EMT talking to one of the night nurses. She’s smiling and twirling her hair and he’s leaning against the counter. Swagger for days.
Knocking as I open the door, I peek my head inside the room and spy Gene sitting up in his bed, remote control pointing at the television.
“Why do you knock if you aren’t going to wait for permission to enter?” he asks between coughs.
“You’re lucky I knock. I could just walk in, ya know?”
Relaxing into what I like to think of as my chair, I settle in and wait for Gene to speak. He’s not much of a morning person, but he’s also not one for not taking the opportunity to put me in my place. Remind me who is the elder around here.
“I thought you were heading out of town?”
He’s passing up an opportunity to be ornery. This isn’t a good sign. As the thought occurs to me, he begins coughing again, and it’s only then that I notice how pale he is. And thin. Once the spell ends, he rests his head back on the pillow and takes shallow breaths. I’m sure they’re meant to be deep breaths, but they aren’t.
“What’s going on?” I ask, my tone leaving no doubt I’m on to him.
“None of your concern. You going to find yourself a pretty lady in that town you’re moving to? Settle down, have yourself a family?”
“Huh?”
“Don’t be obtuse, Grant.”
Obtuse? Who says that? More importantly, why haven’t I used that in a game of Scrabble?
“Don’t deflect. You look worse than you sound and you’re using a vocabulary normally saved for a triple word score. Something is going on.”
“Fine,” he sighs before looking me in the eye. “My son is in town. When he called last week, I was being checked out by the doc, traitorous bastard that he is, and they had a conversation.”
Motioning for him to continue, I lean back in the chair and cross my arms over my chest. If he thinks I’m going to believe that’s all he has going on, he’s mistaken.
“Looks like I’m going to be a cliché.”
My confusion must be written all over my face because he says, “I’m moving to Florida. Damn kid convinced me when he put the grandkids on a video. I realized how much time I’ve been missing. My Gloria is gone and as much fun as I have with Violet, she’s not enough to keep me here. Besides, like you moving to Lexington, I need to move where my family is.”
“I’m happy for you, Gene. Maybe you can beat your grandkids at Scrabble. Lord knows you can’t beat me. They may be a better match for you.”
Flipping me off, he starts laughing which sends him into another coughing fit. Rising from my chair, I go to the sink and get him some water.
“When do you leave?”
“Tomorrow.”
“Guess it’s a good thing I stopped by then. I’ll miss you and your horrible game play.”
“Don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll find another sap around here who pities you enough to let you win.”
There’s no way. Running my hand across my beard, I contemplate his words and when he doesn’t laugh or say he’s kidding it hits me hard. He’s been throwing the games. I’m not sure if I should feel honored or irritated.
“Now, don’t get all emotional or anything. You can still call me when you need some real talk.”
“I’ll do that.”
With a handshake I make my way toward the door but before I can make it through the doorway, his words stop me.
“Grant, remember what I told you. Find someone to build a life and create memories with. Life is too short to spend it alone. You’re a good man, son. Never forget that.”
Nodding, I don’t bother with a reply. My heart is heavy at his words, the emotions battling with what I’ve thought for so long.
Pulling into Lexington, I allow myself an opportunity to take in the differences between it and Fayhill. My current town is much smaller than the one I’m considering laying down roots. The main street is lined with shops and office fronts that only a few months ago were decked out for the holidays. Gone are the holiday lights, and in their place plant boxes and stands are the first hints of the change from winter to spring.
With no spots available on the street, I turn at the light and find a parking place in the small lot at the corner. Approaching the real estate office, I spy Dakota walking through the office, a coffee cup in her hand and a huge smile on her face. She turns to the portly man sitting at a desk on the opposite side of the room.
I allow myself a moment to watch her as she settles in at her desk where a huge bouquet of flowers sits on the corner. It should be no surprise someone has sent her flowers. It was just Valentine’s Day, and she’s too beautiful and kind to be single for long.
While my immediate thought when I saw Dakota for the first time was how sexy she is, I’ve gotten to know her more in the last week as we’ve talked and exchanged texts about properties. Yes, those first thoughts were shallow and typical, something I’m not proud of but, it’s the truth.
Neither of us have mentioned the train wreck of an attempt to flirt last fall and I’m grateful. I can’t say my efforts have improved since the only person I’ve spent any time with is Gene. It goes without saying that she’s not my type.
Tugging open the door to the office, I jump as she shouts and hops up from her desk, a slew of curses filling the room.
“Good morning to you too,” I tease while making my way across the room to where she stands . . .
“What?! Oh, Grant,” she stammers with wide eyes. It’s then I notice the dark brown stain on the front of her sweater. “Sorry. I’m not normally this unprofessional. Quit laughing, Doug.”
The man, Doug I assume, coughs, trying to cover his snickers and I turn my attention back to her.
“Are you okay? You didn’t burn yourself, did you?”
“No. It wasn’t too hot. I’m just a mess and obviously have a hole in my lip. Dammit. I’m so sorry, but I need to run home and change. Could you give me an hour or so?”
She’s pulling her sweater away from her skin and my mind isn’t the only thing that jumps at the sight. Picking up her cell phone from the desk, she begins tapping at the screen and then looks up at me.
“I blocked out most of my day for you so if you’re okay with meeting me in—”
“I’ll come with you.”
I’ll what? She obviously has a boyfriend or is at least dating someone.
“Sorry?” she says while bending over to retrieve her purse from the bottom drawer. Jesus those are nice jeans. What is wrong with me? I sound like a damn kid with his first crush. I blame Gene and his “find a lady to have breakfast with” advice.
“No sense in you coming back here. Why don’t I just go with you? I’ll wait in the car while you get changed.”
She stops midway from slinging the strap of her bag across her shoulder and taps on her bottom lip in thought. There’s something about the move that makes her appear younger than I know she is. It’s sweet and a little shy.
“I suppose that makes the most sense,” she concedes while shooting a look at her co-worker. “Oh darn. I’m a mess. Doug this is Grant Ellison. He’s friends with Taylor Cain.”
“Nice to meet you,” I say, approaching the man with my hand extended.
“You too. Y’all get on out of here before that stain sets. I spill my coffee enough to know it’s a bitch to get out.”
Turning my attention back to Dakota, I motion for her to walk ahead and follow as she exits the building. A small SUV’s lights flash a few stores down the street and now I know the answer to the question on my lips. I guess she’s driving.
“I’m just over here. Gosh I’m so sorry about this. I promise I’m a professional. Which you’re probably doubting at this point. If you’d prefer to work with Doug, I completely understand. He’s far more season—”
“Hey,” I say, reaching out and wrapping my fingers around her elbow. Spinning to face me, she now has her bottom lip tugged between her teeth. She’s nervous. “I’m sure Doug is a great guy but you’re my agent. Relax, it’s fine. Like Doug said, let’s get you home and changed before you have to toss that sweater in the trash.”
Gasping, her eyes widen at the mere suggestion and she hustles to her car.
Cherish Her Page 6