“I don’t. It’s okay. I was just teasing. I’m assessing your profile and wondering what you look like without this beard.” Running my hand across his cheek, I don’t miss the way his breath hitches.
I’ve never been touchy feely or one to flirt. Truthfully, I never mastered flirting and none of the guys I dated were into public displays of affection. Jeff would hold my hand as we walked, but overall it wasn’t something I thought about. Until Grant. Now, I can’t seem to help myself.
“I hardly remember anymore. One of the first things I did upon retirement was grow the beard. At first it was because I was enjoying being lazy for the first time in my adult life. Then on day two I just thought I’d try it out.”
“Day two? Wow, way to really throw yourself into laziness.”
We both laugh as he flicks the blinker and turns into the parking lot of Country Road. It’s still early, the sweet spot between the after-work folks and the young crowd out to party. There’s something about this bar that makes me happy. It isn’t just that my friend’s fiancé owns it or that they play great music, it’s the ambiance and vibe it gives. Plus, they have the best food.
“Last chance to go somewhere else.”
A thought occurs to me, and I drop Grant’s hand, unbuckle my seatbelt and turn completely in my seat to face him. “Do you not want to be seen with me?”
I can’t believe this never occurred to me. We’ve not spent any time together with our friends or family. He hasn’t been around my girls other than the night we were working on the offer for his house. My heart sinks at the thought. I’ve admitted I like him, in fact I said I like him a lot today. Of course, to myself in the mirror but it counts. The reality of how much overwhelms me. The thought that he doesn’t feel the same dampens any fantasy of what could be. Considering he may not want to be here because we’ll run into people he knows is devastating.
“What? Why would you think that?” He sounds confused and his brows are furrowed, causing a little crease between them.
“Since we’ve been . . . whatever it is we’re doing, most of our time has been alone. If we go in there, we’ll see people you consider family. If I’m not mistaken, I see my sister’s car over there,” I say, pointing to the spaces close to the front door. “That means my family is here too.”
He doesn’t speak. The silence is unnerving as is the look in his eyes. If I didn’t know better, I’d think I offended him. And, as if it couldn’t get any worse, Ocean begins to play on the radio. Like clockwork, the tears slowly build inside of me, but they don’t fall.
Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath and count to three. Startled when the passenger door flings open, I jump and screech. With his hands wrapped around my waist, Grant spins me in my seat, and grabs my hand. Tugging me lightly, he pulls me from the car and into his arms.
Lifting my chin, he stares at me. Somewhere in the distance, I hear tires on gravel and the murmurs of customers approaching the building. The soft sounds of a song that historically has devastated me plays from the cab of his SUV. Emotions overwhelm me. Grant never waivers, his eyes silently pleading with me.
“Dakota, I’m sorry for not expressing how I feel. I’m an action kind of guy. I believe in actions, not simply words. It hadn’t even occurred to me that we’ve been in our own bubble. That’s because being with you doesn’t feel isolated, it feels right. I care about you.”
Relaxing, I wrap my arms around his waist. He begins to move and slowly we begin to dance. The bubble he mentioned, it’s here in this parking lot under the moonlight. Lowering his mouth, he lays his lips upon mine, pouring his feelings into the kiss. The feeling is like a small flutter, building slowly. It’s symbolic of our relationship. Slow and tentative before the intensity increases. Passionate and with purpose, Grant slides his hands down my body, sending shivers up my spine.
I pour everything I have into this kiss. The feelings I have for Grant ground me as I entrust him with all that I am. My past, my fears, and my hope.
It’s fast and it doesn’t make sense. We’ve known each other only months and been more than friends only weeks. Yet, here we are, he’s expressing his feelings and I’m relieved to know he wants to be with me. Here and at home. With our friends or alone, he chooses me.
“I’m overwhelmed, Grant.”
“Babe, I didn’t tell you that because I want to add to what you have going on inside. It’s important to know that you have become a vital part of my life, Dakota. Each moment we share makes me look forward to the next. I don’t see an end for us, but if you told me today you can’t do this—that you aren’t ready—I’d wait. No matter what happens, we’re friends. It’s our foundation and I’ll always be here for you.”
Lifting up on my toes with my hand slipping around the nape of his neck, I pull his mouth to mine. Grant never ceases to amaze me. It’s as if he not only knows what I need to hear but how I need it said. He has no way of knowing what he’s just done for me. This kiss expresses to him that I hear his words, I feel his emotions, and I’m there with him.
“I have baggage, Grant. My girls are my most important thing in the world. Jeff may no longer be with us, but he’s their father and I will never not speak of him. I will include him in our lives as long as possible. Is that something you can accept?”
“Arizona and Cali are not baggage. They are an extension of you, the woman who caught my eye with her beauty but has officially stolen my heart with your passion and huge heart.”
“You’re going to make me fall in love with you, aren’t you?” I ask, the thought not as frightening as it should be.
“Only if you let me fall with you.”
Deep down I know I’ve already fallen.
Chapter 26
Grant
“I am so sorry. Minnie was raised better than this,” Dakota says with a warning eye to her sister.
She’s embarrassed by her sister’s interrogation. Maybe if I had siblings, I would sympathize. Instead, I relish it. The fact that Minnie cares enough about her sister to sacrifice her own night out with her fiancé and sit with us, and essentially ask my intentions, makes me smile.
With my arm settled on the back of the booth, I’m the picture of casual. I have a feeling Minnie is trying to intimidate me, but as long as I remain in this position, I have the upper hand. Owen seems unfazed by any of this as he goes about eating the biggest steak sandwich I’ve ever seen.
“It’s fine. Your sister is only looking out for your best interests. Minnie, please continue. I know there’s more.”
“Hmm . . . there is but I’m not sure if I like you calling me out on that. Do you make a habit of that? Calling women out on things? Are you one of those men who thinks women should know their place?”
“Minnesota! Stop it now. Grant, I am so sorry. Don’t answer that. You are really pushing things, little sister.”
Dropping my arm from the back of the booth to settle on Dakota’s shoulder, I pull her to me and place a kiss on her temple. “It’s fine,” I whisper as she turns to face me. Her eyes are wide, worry creasing her forehead.
Taking my thumb, I slide it across the lines that have appeared. A slight smile graces Dakota’s face and I offer her the same gesture, never taking my eyes off her. “Minnie, I would never tell Dakota what to do or how to be. In fact, I want her to push her boundaries. Go beyond her comfort zone.”
Leaning down, I offer a soft kiss to Dakota. Unlike the one we shared in the parking lot this is short and sweet. Regardless of the intensity, the meaning is still the same. This woman who has known me but a few weeks has captured my heart. I see more than dinners and coffee dates with her. My hope is she feels the same.
“Omigosh. Owen, why don’t you look at me like that?”
A smack and a “damn woman” make Dakota and me snicker. For dramatic effect, I peck her lips once more before turning back to face the interrogator and her fiancé. A dreamy smile on Minnie’s face, makes me feel ten feet tall.
“Any more questions?�
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“Nope. You pass. I’m so relieved. It would have been really awkward at the wedding if I had to hate you.”
We all laugh and the conversation turns from my intentions to wedding planning, my newly purchased home, and the new neighborhood development being built just outside of town. Owen is the foreman on the first phase of the development and is conflicted with seeing the town he’s lived in his entire life change. Growth is always great economically, but for those who have lived in Lexington most of their lives, I can see how it would be painful.
“Do you play poker?” Owen asks as he settles back into the booth, taking a draw from his beer.
“A time or two.”
“The guys and I used to play regularly but then things happened.” Turning his eyes to Minnie, he winks before facing me again. “I’m thinking of getting the gang back together. Once a month, rotating houses.”
“Count me in.” Owen raises his hand for a fist bump. I’m at least ten years older than most of these guys, and I’m surprised they’d want me hanging around with them but I’m grateful, nonetheless.
The rest of the night is spent getting to know each other better. The ladies one-up each other with embarrassing childhood stories and Owen attempts to share his escapades BM—before Minnie. She shoots those down pretty quickly, so instead, he tells us about growing up in Lexington and being a hotshot baseball player.
By the time I pull into Dakota’s driveaway, it’s approaching midnight. So much for going to an early dinner. She’s been quiet the entire drive, her deep breaths and exhales overshadowing the music from the speakers. She’s processing her thoughts and her feelings, if I were to guess. We’ve been through a lot tonight, admissions of how we feel and a pretty intense questioning by her sister.
“Do you want to come in and have some dessert?” Her voice is an octave higher than usual.
Throwing the car into park, I kill the engine and don’t bother to hide my laughter. Groaning, she buries her face in the palm of her hands.
“Sounds perfect.”
I hustle out of the car and round the hood to open her door. When she steps out, I take her hand in mine, lacing our fingers. With a slight squeeze, I chance a glance her direction, catching a slight grin on her face.
The house is quiet, only the dim light from a small lamp illuminating the living room. We both kick off our shoes near the door. Placing my hand on her hip, I pull Dakota to face me. Her hands rest on my chest, moving up and down with my labored breathing.
“I have ice cream and there’s a cupcake. Oh, and there are probably cookies in the pantry.”
“Hey,” I whisper, drawing her attention from my chest to my face. Nibbling on her bottom lip, she looks nervous. “What happened on the drive here? You seem like you’re making major decisions in this beautiful head of yours.”
“How many dates do you think we’ve been on?”
Shrugging, I place a kiss on her lips and grip her hand, tugging her toward the kitchen. Flipping on the light, I motion for her to sit at the breakfast bar while I move about the space. No words are spoken as I grab a pint of ice cream from the freezer and two spoons.
We both dig into the creamy goodness before I say, “I think we’ve been friends for a few months and dating about half that time. I’m not keeping count so I can’t answer your question.”
“But it matters.”
Confused, I toss my spoon into the sink and round the counter. She spins on her stool, legs apart, leaving a perfect spot for me to settle.
“I feel like I’m coming in late to a conversation I didn’t know I was part of. Care to elaborate?”
“You must have expectations. Kissing like teenagers waiting for my parents to bust us surely can’t be enough for you.”
Sex. She means sex.
My chuckle must not be what she’s expecting because her head snaps up, almost whacking my chin. “Do you mean sex, Dakota?” Her creamy skin pinkens and I won’t lie, part of me wonders if a different hue of pink would appear when she’s naked below me.
“Yes. I mean sex. You should know that I haven’t been with anyone since I was pregnant with Cali. It’s been years and frankly, I’m not sure I’ll remember what to do. It isn’t as though I was overly experienced before Jeff anyway.”
“Babe, sex isn’t about being experienced or how many partners you’ve had in the past. I don’t sleep around, never have. There’s also no rush. Do I want to make love to you? Yes. Is there a time limit on that? No.”
Sighing, she surprises me by lifting her legs around my waist, pulling me to her. My hands land on the counter, boxing her in. A smirk appears on her lips as she wraps her hands around my neck.
“Grant Ellison, those are the kinds of words that will have women dropping their panties at your feet.”
“You’re the only woman I want dropping anything. I was serious earlier, Dakota. This thing between us, it feels right. I’m not a kid, and I don’t believe in wasting precious time to do things the traditional way. If either of us know anything, it’s that life is short and time is precious.”
“Do you think we’re moving too fast? We have no idea how many dates we’ve been on. I have kids, Grant. You’re remodeling a house. There’s so much going on in both our lives.”
“That’s life. There will never be a good time or a perfect time for anything. It’s how we, as a couple, maneuver what is best for us that matters.
Her legs tighten and her smirk grows to a grin. “Is that your way of asking me to be your girlfriend?”
“If you need me to say the words, I will.”
Lifting up, she nibbles at my chin. “Well, I think if we’re at the stage of a label we should fool around a little. Not sex.”
Laughing, I capture her lips. I pour everything into this kiss. I never want my girlfriend to question my feelings. Releasing her lips, I move my mouth to her neck, nibbling and kissing, she shivers in my arms. Scooping her up, she lets out a yelp as her arms wrap around my neck tightly.
“Too tight,” I croak. She giggles and runs her hands through my hair as I take her from the kitchen down the hall to her bedroom.
Chapter 27
Dakota
What is happening? Am I really letting Grant carry me to my bedroom? My brain is in a civil war. One half is screaming “take me and do naughty things to me” and the other is freaking the hell out about what may happen.
Slowly, Grant lowers me to the bed. My body relaxes into the pillow-soft comforter and I let my legs fall from around his waist. The room is quiet, only our breathing to break the silence. A million thoughts rush through my mind. Does he plan to take off my top? What bra did I put on tonight? Should I brush my teeth? Will I freak out when he touches me?
I can feel my body tensing so I dig deep and clear my brain. Slow cleansing breaths . . . I close my eyes and let the nerves go, releasing them from every cell in my body. Grant cups my cheek, his eyes searching my own. His gentleness calms me. My heartbeat slows and I snake my hands around him, gently running my nails across his back.
“Do you realize how beautiful you are?”
Normally compliments embarrass me. I become self-conscious and lose eye contact. But with Grant, it’s different. I don’t want to look away. I want to see myself the way he sees me. He only sees the woman I am today, not the shell I was for a long time.
“Tell me.”
“Anyone can look at you and see how gorgeous you are on the outside. Your bright blue eyes dance when you’re excited or have a new idea. These lips,” he says, running his thumb across the seam of my mouth, “are perfect and inviting.”
I allow him to pull me from the conversation, his kiss all encompassing. Passionate and full of promise I melt into the mattress, welcoming the weight of his body.
“But, what’s inside is most beautiful. Your huge heart, your witty personality, the strength you show everyone, and the way you are showing your children what it means to be strong and independent. That’s what I love most.”
>
Love.
He doesn’t mean he loves me but if he keeps saying all of these perfect things, I just may fall in love with him. We kiss, our mouths sealed together. Hands roaming, mine up his back, his up my leg. I regret wearing these jeans even if they do make my legs look amazing.
When Grant shifts, his arousal hits my core and triggers something I haven’t felt in years. Wanton desire. Pent-up desire. His hand slips under my top, calloused fingers sending shivers up my spine as they stroke my skin. Lightly his thumb brushes below my bra. His lips now on my neck, I can’t control my body. I’ve heard muscle memory is a real thing. The way my core is throbbing, I’d have to agree.
Then it stops. Grant moves so he’s no longer on top of me, the loss is torturous. I miss it completely but fear I’ve done something wrong overpowers that feeling.
“What’s wrong?” I ask through gasps.
“It’s too fast. I’m sorry. I started to—”
Before he can say another word, I climb on top of him, my body straddling his. Looking down at him, I feel no fear or second guesses. The thoughts that worried me earlier are gone. This man who lies in my bed is thinking of me first. He’s putting his own desire and needs aside to take his time with me. Funny, all it makes me want to do is strip off my clothes and let him do every single thing he’s thinking.
But I don’t. He’s right. It’s too soon. Not only for our new relationship, but for me. I care about him. I trust him. And that’s why I need to wait. We need to find our footing.
Contemplating my next move, I realize there’s so much more we can do other than have sex. Slowly, I lift the hem of my shirt over my head and toss it aside. Grant’s eyes widen and his mouth forms a perfect “O.”
“Dakota—”
I cut him off, my mouth crashing on his. I don’t want another warning. I want to feel his lips on me, his hands on my body. I want to touch his skin and to kiss him. We move together, his hands skirting across my torso, my hips rotating and hitting his erection, sending my desire flying.
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