Instead, I went outside and walked around the woods. October in north central Florida meant it was still relatively mild, and hiking the paths that wound around and between the other townhouses helped clear my mind.
Once I’d stopped tossing and turning the night before, I’d slept deep. But I couldn’t shake the feeling of guilt that hit me hard when I woke up. Joss had been nothing but decent to me. She hadn’t asked for anything, she hadn’t pried. She’d opened her house up to me and cooked me dinner. And I acted like a class-A asshole. I took a deep breath and let it go, wishing I could take back the words.
Instead, I made my way back to the townhouse. I knew Joss had said she didn’t have much in the way of food, but I managed to scrape up what I needed. I might have been a dick, but I knew some things about women. I hoped I did, at least.
When the door opened an hour later, Joss, still dressed in her shorts and tank from the gym, stood there weighed down with canvas bags. She glanced up at me warily as I went to help her.
“Here, let me grab those. Are there more in the car?”
She nodded, a suspicious gleam in her eye. “Yeah, two more bags. What are you...” She sniffed the air. “What’s that? Did you bake something?”
I smiled. “Chocolate chip cookies. I hope you bought milk.”
“Oh, my God. They smell divine.” She closed her eyes and breathed in, and I wanted to pull her into my arms and do things that would make her forget all about the cookies.
But I stomped down those thoughts, set the bags on the counter and headed out to retrieve the rest of the groceries.
When I came back inside, Joss was sitting on a stool, a glass of milk in her hand and cookie in her mouth.
“These are seriously awesome. Why didn’t you tell me you could bake?” She swallowed and glanced up at me.
I carried the bags into the kitchen. “It never came up in the less-than-a-week we’ve known each other. Sorry.” I began unloading and looked at her over my shoulder. “And in the interest of honesty, I can’t really bake. I only know how to make chocolate chip cookies. They’re my one and only tried-and-true recipe.”
“Well, if you can only do one thing in the kitchen, you nailed it.” She wiped her mouth and stood. “Thanks for carrying the groceries. And for the cookies.”
“Joss.” I dropped one hand on her shoulder, careful to keep it light and friendly. “I’m sorry about last night. I was way out of line, and I’m sorry. It’s still...” I looked away. “It isn’t easy. It’s still too fresh. I don’t want to talk about—about her. Or what happened last spring. Not now.”
She studied me for a moment, her lips pursed, and then she nodded. “Okay. I won’t push. But if or when you change your mind, I’m here. And I’m a good listener.”
“Thanks.” I went back to moving the groceries from bags to fridge and pantry, and after she rinsed out her glass, Joss joined me.
“You know you’re evil.” She shut the freezer door and shot me a look. “I spend over an hour at the gym, and you make my favorite cookies.”
I lifted one side of my mouth. “Sorry. I guess I’m just your temptation.”
She rolled her eyes. “Yeah, you could say.”
Once everything was put away, we stood for a beat, looking at each other. I was painfully aware of her legs, long and muscular, disappearing into the nylon running shorts. Her breasts were squished into one of those exercise bra deals, but her nipples were clearly visible under the silky material. I wanted to cover them with my mouth and make her moan.
As if she could hear my thoughts—shit, she couldn’t, could she?—Joss licked her lips and look away, her eyes clouded. She heaved out a breath.
“Hey, you know what? Let’s go out. I’ll show you around a little. Just give me a minute to grab a shower, okay?”
I opened my mouth, fully expecting to tell her that I’d join her in the shower. To suggest that we not go out anywhere, just stay here in bed all afternoon. But instead I nodded.
“Yeah, that sounds good.”
We were careful and kind all afternoon. The conversation was light, and even when Joss teased me, it didn’t have the same flirty undertones I’d picked up before.
She drove me to a small town about forty-five minutes away. It reminded me a little of King, with the kitschy shops lining the small streets and the sidewalks filled with Sunday window shoppers. We parked in a lot and walked a few blocks up the main street.
“There’re a few cute restaurants here. You hungry?” Joss glanced at me through her eyelashes, and my heart thudded painfully again. Yes, I was hungry, but not for anything they were serving at these restaurants. God, what was the matter with me?
“Yeah, okay. I could eat, I guess.” I glanced up the road. “Lots of people here.”
Jocelyn shrugged as we turned into the doorway of a small café. “It’s a college town. And a pretty fall day, so I guess everyone’s out.” She pulled out a chair at a round table for two, and I sat down across from her.
We ordered beers and some nachos from the blonde waitress who smiled at me with promise. A twinge of something—I wasn’t sure if it was regret or guilt—struck in my chest. A week ago, I would have taken advantage of that smile, had her in bed within hours. Now I looked away.
“Are you looking forward to tomorrow?” Joss smiled at me over the top of her glass.
“I’m not sure what to expect. Cathryn said something about some training and sessions.”
“Yeah, nothing too scary. You’ll get to spend some quality time with Zoe while she makes sure you’re not loony tunes.”
I grimaced. “Oh, that sounds like fun.”
“It will be. Zoe’s a hoot. And then probably they’ll test your powers, see what you can do.”
“I think I’d rather be back in New Orleans.”
Joss laughed. “I bet.” She bit into a chip, and an expression I couldn’t read flitted over her eyes.
“Rafe, I know this was a risk for you. Cathryn said it yesterday, but I think I understand even more how much of a leap taking the job is. And I want you to know something.” Her lips tightened. “You can trust me. I promise, I’ll always tell you the truth. Maybe my track record hasn’t been so great in your book, but I haven’t lied about anything I could help. From here on out, nothing but absolute honesty.”
I frowned. “You make it sound like I won’t be able to count on others to give me the same.”
She lifted a shoulder. “Not necessarily. But I remember what it was like when I first started at Carruthers.” She toyed with the coaster under her now-empty mug. “They saved me from some serious shit. I wanted to see everyone here as the good guys, as people who only had my best interests in mind. And don’t get me wrong, they did. Harley has always been wonderful to me. Cathryn was just starting to work there full-time, but she was okay, too.”
“But someone else wasn’t?”
“I learned the hard way that not everyone is...scrupulous.” Joss raised her eyes to meet mine, and I saw pain. “People who thought they knew what I needed or what was good for me better than I did. But I had a friend, too. Someone who told me what I just said to you. She promised she wouldn’t keep secrets or tell me lies to make me feel better. And she didn’t.”
I reached across the table and covered her hand where it lay. “I’m glad you had someone. Does she still work for Carruthers?”
Joss shook her head. “No. She died a little over a year ago.” She turned her hand so that our palms met, and I closed my fingers around her wrist.
“I’m sorry, Joss. How...?”
She drew in a long breath. “It was cancer. Delia was older than us—she’d been a friend of Cathryn’s mother. It happened fast.” She swallowed hard and bit down on her lip.
“I’m sorry.” I could only repeat the words. “I know what it’s like to lose someone you love.”
We fell into silence as the waitress returned with another round. Joss turned down a second beer, opting instead for water.
&
nbsp; “Can I ask you something?” She tilted her head, a half smile on her lips, and I nodded.
“Why did you decide to say yes? Why are you working for the Institute?”
I didn’t have an answer for her any more than I had had for Gram last night. I leaned back in my chair and looked into her wide eyes.
“I told my grandmother last night that I wanted to use my abilities alongside the good guys. There was bad shit going down in that room in New Orleans. It felt...dark. I want to fight against it. And I was telling her the truth. But that’s not the only reason. I guess maybe I need something with purpose. Does that make any sense?”
Joss nodded. “I understand. When I realized what I could do, I was just a kid. I couldn’t control it. Like I told you before, a lot of what I can do is linked to my emotions.”
I smirked at her. “Yeah, I seem to recall things flying around a hotel room in New Orleans.”
She laughed, with not even a hint of blush or embarrassment. I loved that about this girl. “True, you got to see some of it firsthand. Well, imagine being in a classroom and getting nervous about a test, or being pissed off that some kids were teasing you. And then pencils start shooting around the room. Or your desk floats.”
“How did anyone know that was you?”
“They didn’t, at first. But then all the weird crap was only happening when I was there. And no one else’s desk was floating. Even fourth-graders can use the process of elimination.”
I squeezed her wrist again. “That would suck.”
“It truly did. And I was smart—I told you that. School was a huge borefest for me anyway. So when I was not only the brainiac but also the creepy kid, I just gave up. My grades went to shit. I felt like I was being punished, and I didn’t know why.”
“When did Carruthers find you?”
“Sixth grade. They didn’t just find me. They saved my life.” She said it so simply that I knew it was a profound truth. “Let’s just say my home life left something to be desired. Like I said, no one was sad to see me leave. Least of all me. And once I really understood what the Institute could do for me, what they could let me do, I felt like you. I wanted a piece of that hero stuff. I didn’t feel like what I could do was punishment anymore. It really was a gift.”
“Yeah.” I sighed, releasing Joss’s hand and stretching. “That’s it. I mean, I never felt like what I could do was wrong. I don’t ever remember not being able to make people do what I wanted them to do. My dad was great, and everyone in King—well, everyone from the First Families, anyway—has some kind of quirk. But my stepdad made me feel like a freak.” I fastened my eyes on the table, not really seeing the oak. “And I knew someone who, um, struggled with what she could do. Her parents wanted her to hide it, and when she got old enough, she kind of went crazy. It ended up okay, I guess, but it could’ve been bad. She almost got killed.” I gritted my teeth. “And she almost killed someone else.”
It was Jocelyn’s turn to reach toward me. “I know a little bit about her, Rafe. In the interest of being honest with you, like I promised. Cathryn told me some of what happened last year. I wasn’t lying when I said we don’t know what was between the two of you, but we had reports on the whole deal with Marica Lacusta and Amber Cole.”
My jaw tightened again. “That’s part of why I’m working with you. I need direction. I want to be moving toward something, not running away from the pain. Does that make sense, or do I sound like a girly man on one of those afternoon talk shows?”
Joss shook her head, laughing again. “It makes absolute sense. As a matter of fact, you sound sickeningly mature and healthy. I’m afraid I’m going to have to hate you for a little while.”
I grinned. “How long, do you think?”
“Probably just until we get home and I eat some more of the cookies you made me. I’m weak. Chocolate always works as a bribe.”
I raised an eyebrow. “That’s information that could work in my favor at some point. You know, if I ever wanted...something from you.” I trailed one finger along her soft forearm.
Joss stood, pushing her chair back, and leaned over me, her mouth close to my ear.
“Like you’d even have to ask.” She straightened, shot me a brilliant smile and gestured to the door. “Come on, let’s get out of here.”
***
“SO ARE YOU ready to tell me all your deepest secrets?”
Zoe beamed at me, mirth spilling out of those dancing eyes. I wanted to throw something at her. What I wouldn’t give for the use of Joss’s telekinesis, even on a temporary basis and even knowing how unpredictable it could be. Right now, I had enough emotion to make them work.
Oddly, though, there wasn’t much available to toss around Zoe’s office. I had expected the room to be full of orbs, crystals and maybe some of those flowy scarves draped over beaded lamps. But no, it was a simple and utilitarian room, with a plain desk, a few file cabinets and some stuffed chairs. It was almost bare.
“I don’t work in here very often.” As though she had read my thoughts, Zoe glanced around the room. “If I’m training, I like the space of the conference room. And most of the time, if I’m on my own, I work in my home office. It reflects my personality more closely than does this room.” She winked at me.
“Are you sure you don’t hear minds?” I narrowed my eyes and shifted in the wing chair.
Zoe laughed, and I thought again that it sounded like how I’d imagined a fairy’s laugh would. Not that I went around thinking about fairies, but Zoe was a close fit.
“That would make my job much easier, but no. I’m merely a perceptive, and a fully-trained psychologist to boot. I have all my diplomas hanging up at home. Would it make you feel better to see them?”
I shrugged. “Nah. I just don’t like people messing with my head. I don’t see why I have to get all touchy-feely and spill my guts to you.”
“You don’t have to.” Her voice took on a crisp, almost professional tone, at odds with her appearance. “But if you want to work for Carruthers, I have to make sure you’re mentally stable. The powers and abilities we provide for our clients can easily be used in other ways, as you’ve already seen up close. We can’t guarantee that a crazy person might not slip through the cracks, but we do our best.”
“Okay.” I sighed, heavy and dramatic. I wasn’t sure what I had expected from my first morning as an official employee of Carruthers Initiative Institute, but it hadn’t been this.
Joss and I had arrived at nine. She disappeared into the manor while Cathryn marched me down to the garages that were hidden beyond a copse of trees. She introduced me to Ken, who asked me a few questions about my driving preferences and then led me around a collection of automobiles that blew my mind. There were antique cars, brand new models...even a few I’d never heard of before. I must have been gawking, maybe even drooling, because Ken grinned at me.
“Yeah, pretty sweet, huh? The Whitmores are big car people. Cathryn’s dad is a collector.” He jerked his head in my boss’s direction. She stood on the periphery of the huge room, absorbed in something on her telephone. “He takes me on a buying trip once a year. We sell some off, we get new ones. Hard life, huh?”
“Yeah.” I glanced around. “So you’re going to assign one of these to me?”
“Yep. Sorry, it won’t be one of the fun ones. Those are for special missions.” He scanned the clipboard he carried and then looked down the rows of cars. I followed him to a shiny gray compact.
“What do you think? This work for you?”
I lifted a shoulder. “Well, not as well as the Maserati would. But yeah, I can make do.”
After we settled on my car assignment, I had to go out with Ken on a test drive, which I suspected was more about Ken examining my driving ability than me trying out the car. I must have passed, since he handed me the keys and the registration.
At lunch time, I joined Joss, Cathryn and a bunch of other people I hadn’t met yet in the employee dining room, which was basically a large round
table off the kitchen. Henry, the chef, served us fresh pasta in a tomato and garlic sauce while he flirted with Joss.
I was just beginning to relax when Zoe leaned around Jocelyn and touched my arm.
“Raphael, you’ll join me in my office after we finish eating.” It wasn’t a question or an invitation. It was a foregone conclusion.
Joss laughed and made a face at me. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
My appetite vanished.
“Really, Raphael, I promise I don’t bite.” Zoe said now, swiveling her chair a little. “This will be painless. It might even be...illuminating.”
“Sure, it will be. No problem. I can guess what you want to talk about.” My mind slid to Tasmyn and to Joss.
“I want you to tell me about your mother.”
I frowned. “My mother? Why? What about her? She doesn’t have anything to do with my abilities.”
“Which is exactly why I want to talk about her. Tell me how she feels about what you can do.”
I rolled my eyes back in my head. “You know how cliché this is, blaming it all on the mom? Fine. My mom hates what I can do. I guess she always did, but I didn’t know it until after my dad was killed and she got remarried. She had to tell my stepfather about me, and what I could do, and then they both were on top of me all the time, suspicious about whether I was messing with people’s minds.”
“Before your father passed away, how did your mother handle your gifts?”
“She didn’t have to.” I braced my foot against the side of Zoe’s desk, watching my sneaker fold and tighten as I flexed. “My dad dealt with it. He was the one who told me why I could do it and how to control it. When I was little, I guess I used to influence people without knowing it. I could just want something enough, and it happened automatically. My father taught me not to do that.”
I met her eyes. “And I never did anything bad with it, no matter what Bradford said.”
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