by Dara Kent
She whirled around, her lips curled back in a ferocious snarl. I froze, never having seen her appear so brutal. “Tonight I do get to decide, drunk or not. End of story.”
“Fine,” I grumbled, shoulders sagging.
“And you!” She stabbed her finger in Jensen’s direction. “No more crap from you tonight either.”
His lips twitched as if amused, his hands going up in surrender. “Want me to drive?”
Lily groped in her pocket, producing the keys. “Yes.” She tossed them to him, and he deftly caught them out of the air.
This is going to be a difficult ride home. At least with Jensen driving, I won’t be tempted to throw myself at him again … or hit him. God, I’m a friggin’ mess. Seriously, why am I like this?
9
Apparently, brooding takes a lot of energy. After spending the entire ride home lost in unpleasant thoughts, I arrived at our condo completely exhausted. I wanted to go to bed immediately, to escape the last couple of days in dreamless oblivion, but unfortunately, there were more pressing matters to deal with first.
“Monica should be here soon.” Lily handed me several mini Twix bars. I raised my eyebrows in question since I hadn’t asked for anything from her. “You always feel better when you have chocolate.”
Sinking in lower on the overstuffed couch cushion, I stared at the shiny, golden and red wrappers. It wasn’t a lie. I did always feel better when I had chocolatey goodness to nosh on. But that simple fact made me feel every bit the toddler I’d been acting like all night. I side-eyed Jensen, who was on the other end of the couch, staring straight ahead, showing off his annoyingly perfect profile. He wanted to seem relaxed, but the tension in his muscles was a dead giveaway.
I cleared my throat, and his jaw muscles rippled in response. “I’m sorry I hit you.”
He turned his head slowly in my direction, his baby blues glacier cool. “I’m not removing the tracking spell.”
“I didn’t even bring it up.” I shifted, crossing and uncrossing my legs.
“Yet. You didn’t bring it up yet.”
“Well, yeah, I was definitely going to bring it up again. And soon. But for now, I was just going to apologize for hitting you before Monica gets here.”
He studied me for a moment, his gaze blatantly assessing. “Are you actually sorry? Or do you feel guilty because Lily called you out for being a hypocrite?”
Lord give me patience with this man. “Of course I’m sorry for hitting you.” Mostly. Or I was until you opened your mouth again. Fuck. I am a hypocrite. A shitty, anti-feminist, assholey hypocrite. A lukewarm apology won’t make up for what I did. Not even a little bit. Which is exactly why I did it, just like he said.
The doorbell chimed, echoing through my condo, effectively putting an end to our conversation.
Tearing into a Twix, I stuffed one into my mouth, chewing quickly. “This conversation isn’t over.”
Jensen grunted, his attention turning to Monica, who swept into the living room with Lily close behind.
Monica positioned herself on the green suede loveseat across from the couch, her body locked with tension, mirroring everyone else in the room. “Riss, you need to go over again what the Hell marked said to you exactly.”
As I polished off the second Twix, I ran over the conversation again in my mind. Swallowing, I said, “He told me that Pestilence was dead. Killed by a hunter. The demons, and by demons, he didn’t say which ones, so I figured a bunch of underlings, and some of the other Hell marked like him, thought that if they could find the weapon the hunter used then they could take out Lucifer.” I shrugged. “He wasn’t the most eloquent, and I wasn’t interested in listening. Not much else was said. Well, except for the part where he also thought Tomas knew who the hunter was.”
Monica ran a hand down her face, sighing heavily. “Tomas didn’t tell me anything about any hunter killing Pestilence or a weapon.”
“Would he, though, if he did know?” Her gaze snapped to mine, and I raised my hands. “I mean, you know how he was. He wouldn’t have wanted to put you in any danger if he could help it.”
“Stupid man. If he got himself killed over something I could have helped him with—” Her nails dug into her thighs. “Stupid man,” she repeated, tears glistening in her eyes.
Lily deposited a plate of chocolate chip cookies on the coffee table before sitting down beside me. “We don’t know that’s what happened. How much can we really trust what a Hell marked had to say?” She motioned at the cookies. “If anyone wants any, help yourselves.”
Lily and I were both comfort food eaters, something that seemed to be a family trait. I leaned forward and snagged a few, as did she. Both Monica and Jensen ignored the offering.
Monica abruptly stood, pacing back and forth in the small space in front of the loveseat. “Tomas was mutilated. I thought it was because of who he was but … but now that I know demons are searching for something that may or may not exist … who’s to say that they won’t do it again and again? One of us could be next.”
The bite of cookie in my mouth turned bitter. I hadn’t considered that. If the weapon didn’t exist, it could mean the demons would possibly never stop looking for it. Add in the Hell marked who were desperate to be free of their bargains … “We need to figure out if there is a weapon.”
“To get our hands on it if there is,” Jensen spoke up, a wicked gleam in his eyes. “Because if it does exist, then the Hell marked was right. We could take out Lucifer. Think about what that would mean for you.”
Monica stilled, staring at him, slack-jawed. “Umm …” she sputtered. “We can’t kill Lucifer.”
Jensen ran his hands through his hair, his excitement palpable. “If this weapon exists, why not?”
“Yeah, why not?” Lily asked around a mouthful of cookies, crumbs spilling onto her shirt.
“Because it would be utter chaos without him in Hell. He may not be anyone’s favorite, but he does keep things … maintained.”
I scrunched my nose. “Maintained? What’s that supposed to mean? It makes sense to take out Lucifer. Who cares about the rest? We can kill all the demons who come at us if we have that kind of power.”
Plus, taking out the ruler of Hell would guarantee me a spot in Heaven when I died. Lily and me both. The more I mulled it over, the better the plan seemed. If the weapon did indeed exist, that is.
“We need to temper our excitement.” I hated being the voice of reason, especially about this. “The weapon probably doesn’t exist. For all we know Pestilence is having tea and crumpets with his brothers right now.”
Jensen nodded. “So the first thing we need to do is verify the kill.”
“Yeah, exactly what I was thinking.”
“And how are we going to do that?” Lily asked, her head swinging back and forth between the two of us.
“No, absolutely not,” Monica interjected. “If this weapon exists, we hand it over to Heaven.”
And here is the reason why twice marked and Heaven-marked hunters don’t always see eye-to-eye. Fuck their holier than thou attitudes. If that weapon exists, I am not handing it over to anyone.
My lip curled into a snarl. “And why would we do that? We’ve been tasked with killing demons. If there’s some extra special weapon that can help us with that, including killing Lucifer, then it’s in our rights to use it. Don’t go all goody-two-shoes on us with this. We wouldn’t be doing anything shady or wrong.”
“It just doesn’t feel right.” Monica sank back into the loveseat, her lower lip caught between her teeth. “None of it does.”
I pursed my lips, considering. “Yeah … None of it does. I get that. And it’s because of Tomas. Of course, if this weapon, even if it indirectly caused his death, you’d want nothing to do with it. But if he died protecting information about it then maybe there was a reason for that.” I grabbed another cookie. “Or the existence of this weapon is greatly overexaggerated. Which is why we need to verify whether or not Pestilence is alive. We can’t make any
decisions based on hearsay from a Hell marked.”
Lily waved her hand in the air, cookie crumbs scattering in all directions. “And again I’ll ask, how are we supposed to do that?”
Jensen caught my eye, his lips curling up devilishly. “Fortunately for you, you happen to know a powerful warlock who can help you with that.”
I ground my teeth together. “No. Absolutely not. Working with that kind of black magic is—”
“Part of who I am. I gave it up because of you.” He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back. “But since we aren’t together, as you keep reminding me, you don’t have a say about my life choices anymore.”
My face flushed as anger burst through my system. “You gave it up because of me? Really? I thought that kind of magic didn’t interest you. Served no purpose in the life you wanted to build for yourself outside of the family business.”
One side of his mouth quirked up. “All of that was true because of you. But if I can help you get free of being marked …” His nostrils flared. “I’ll do whatever it takes.”
He never indicated that my being twice marked bothered him in the least. He treated it like it was just another fact about me, like my hair color, or height. It was what it was. But his excitement to free me from my demon hunting obligations said otherwise.
What else has he been hiding from me? Oh. Wait. I’ve already established that he’s a secretive motherfucker, putting tracking spells on me without my knowledge and hiding his true feelings.
I leaned over Lily as if she wasn’t there, jabbing my index finger at him. “It’s none of your business, Jensen. None. Not anymore.”
“Hey.” Lily flicked the side of my face with a half-eaten cookie. “I sat here to keep you two apart so you wouldn’t break into a weird, sexual tension-filled brawl.”
I reared back as if she’d slapped me. “We’ve never been in any kind of sexually charged altercation.”
A huge grin slowly pulled Jensen’s full lips apart. “Sexually charged, huh?”
“I’m just repeating what my sister said. I didn’t supply—”
“Uh-uh-uh-uh. She said sexual tension, you said sexually charged.” His grin widened, his gaze flaring with heat.
I pinched the bridge of my nose. “Now is not the time for this.”
“I don’t know,” Monica spoke up, “maybe now is exactly the time for the two of you to work your shit out.”
“Traitor,” I hissed.
“She’s right,” Lily chimed in. “The two of you can’t be in the same room for more than a few seconds without getting all caught up in the sexual mojo you two have. It doesn’t even matter if demons are attacking. You need to resolve your shit now.”
I scowled. “There’s nothing to resolve.”
Lily poked me in the cheek with another cookie, and I swatted at her. “You hit him, Riss. After you kissed him. You need to figure your shit out. Now.”
Closing my eyes, I inhaled several times. “Fine.” My eyes snapped open, gaze locked onto Jensen. “We’ll talk at your place.” I raised my hand in the air. “But talk only. Got it?”
“Got it,” he rumbled, smug expression firmly in place.
Yeah, he doesn’t got it at all. Not even a little bit. Prepare yourself for another battle. Just don’t hit him again.
10
“Sooo …” I drawled, leaning against the inside of Jensen’s front door. There was no way I was going any farther into his condo. Where I was served the purpose. We were alone, therefore we could have our private conversation.
As if sensing exactly where my thoughts were, Jensen motioned to his living room, brows raised. “You going to come in?”
I shook my head. “Nope. I can talk just fine right here.”
He delivered me his patented smug smirk, complete with dimples. “Don’t trust yourself?”
“To not hit you again? Nope.” I knew that wasn’t what he meant, but if playing stupid saved me from doing something idiotic, so be it.
“We both know you only hit me because you were trying to force both our hands. Typical Riss move.”
“I still did it. I hit you.”
“I forgive you.”
“No, you don’t. I hit you. I abused you. That’s unforgivable.”
He sucked his teeth. “Not how I see it.”
“It’s not my fault if you refuse to acknowledge the truth. What’s true is true. I hit you, and therefore we can—”
“Enough with this bullshit, Val. Motives matter. You’re not an abuser, although you’ve been trying exceptionally hard to be one lately. But it’s not going to work. I see what you’re doing.”
“And what is that?”
He stalked closer, and I pressed back against the door, my strategy suddenly a mistake since I’d essentially trapped myself. “Put up an impenetrable wall between us by any means.”
I clenched my teeth hard enough to make my jaw ache, biting back my reply. It was true. And I hated that he could read me so damn easy.
“Nothing to say? Huh?”
“It doesn’t matter if you know what I’m doing, it won’t stop the inevitable outcome.”
“Why?” he snarled. “Why won’t you let this go?”
“Because we can’t be together, Jensen. You’ll thank me down the road once you’ve settled happily with someone else. I’ll be dead and just a memory from your youth.” The words turned to ash on my tongue, just the thought of him with someone else burning me from the inside out.
Dark lashes narrowed around sea-storm eyes, piercing me to my core. “And what if the weapon that can kill Lucifer exists? What then?”
“If I’m not marked then I’ll be just a regular human with a regular lifespan. You’ll still be a warlock. I’ll age and grow old long before you do in that scenario. No matter what angle you come at our situation from, we simply won’t work. You need to accept that now before we both end up more hurt than we already are.”
“I can extend your lifespan with magic or I’ll give mine up. It doesn’t matter. You’re who I want.”
My heart fisted, and I sucked in a ragged breath. “Sometimes we can’t have what we want.”
“Not this time.”
Closing the scant distance between us, Jensen captured my lips and plundered my senses, stealing all awareness except for him. I had no choice but to submit, the pressure from both his onslaught and the raging desire sweeping through me undeniable.
Pressing the long line of his hard body into mine, I bowed into him, wanting … needing more. My defenses were nonexistent, crumbled under the weight of repeatedly denying our lust.
His thumbs skated up my shirt and over my nipples.
Moaning, I fumbled to undo his pants.
His hands slid into my hair, tugging as his mouth made its way down my neck.
I shoved his pants down his hips.
He spun me, my face pressing into the door.
I writhed against him, seeking more of his touch.
He ripped my pants and underwear down my thighs, tipping my ass up.
Wriggling in offering, I was nothing but desperate need.
He slammed into me, groaning, his fingers digging into soft flesh.
Gasping, I clawed at the door for purchase.
In and out, in and out, he slammed against me, his teeth grazing my earlobe.
I trembled around him, my entire body a live wire.
His fingers circled my clit at a maddening pace.
I squeezed my eyes shut, tension building.
He slammed into me harder and harder.
A kaleidoscope of colors exploded behind my eyelids, and I struggled to breathe.
Biting the sensitive flesh of my neck, he slowed, grinding his own release into me.
We stilled.
His ragged breaths heated the side of my face, his heart pounding against my back.
I stiffened, all languidness draining from my body. What have I done?
Jensen cupped the side of my face, turning my head a
s far as it could go, snagging my gaze. “Don’t you dare,” he rumbled, his voice rough and low.
Bucking my ass against him, I shoved at the door, hating how my body clenched with residual need. “This was a mistake.”
He stepped away from me, not bothering to pull up his pants. “No. You and me are never a mistake.”
Yanking at my clothes, I glared. “Sex is not a relationship.”
“It’s a good start for one.”
Frustration, anger, need, confusion, and a myriad of other emotions I wasn’t even sure I recognized flitted through me in quick secession. “I don’t— I just … I can’t do this, Jensen. Please let me go.” Because I obviously can’t let you go no matter how hard I try.
“Never.”
Anger won, my face burning with it. “Fuck you, Jensen. Fuck. You.”
Finally pulling up his pants, he sneered in my direction. “I believe that’s what you just did.”
Turning, I slammed my fists against the door before flinging it open.
Good job sorting that out, Riss. Way to unmuddy the waters between you and Jensen.
“Don’t follow me,” I yelled, knowing he would show up soon enough regardless of what I said.
Stalking back into my condo, Monica and Lily regarded me warily.
“How’d it go?” Lily asked. “’Cause, you don’t look very happy.”
I closed my eyes and counted to ten, none of it doing a damn bit of good. “It did not go the way I planned.”
“Your hair is a bit all over the place.” Monica pressed her lips together, suppressing a laugh.
“Okay, then it went exactly the way Jensen planned.” Lily snickered, sharing a knowing look with Monica who pressed her lips together harder in response.
“Shut up.”
“I don’t know much about this type of thing,” Lily bounced up to lean her arms over the back of the couch, “but I’m pretty sure if you keep having sex with someone they aren’t going to want to leave you alone.”
“Especially if they’re in love with you,” Monica added with a snicker.
“I’m not talking about this.”