“Or kind of at all, really,” I said.
Erik's jaw dropped slightly, as if my words stung. I held up my hands, shaking them as though I were casting a spell that would erase my words.
“That came out wrong,” I said.
“Yeah, ouch,” Erik said, offering me a half-smile. “It’s just that, while we don’t know each other, I don’t want anything bad to happen to you.” He hesitated a moment. “Or Sam.”
I met his eyes, and my pulse started to quicken. Why did the air suddenly feel so thick?
“Which is why if you leave, I think I have to go with you,” Erik said.
“Well, what about Dorian?”
Erik’s face contorted. “Dorian can do whatever he likes.”
“Erik,” I said, placing my hand on his knee. A jolt of electricity shot through my body, and I pulled it back. “You can’t come with us.”
“I can,” he said. “And I think I know where I can find a vehicle.”
“Okay, tell me where.”
Erik laughed. “I’ll do that when we go get it to leave for Massachusetts. You know, I hear it’s lovely this time of year.”
It was my turn to look at him as if he had two heads.
“Only you can try to be funny, huh?”
“Keyword is try, right?”
Erik smirked. “For both of us.”
He exhaled before getting up. He quickly moved around the room, lighting all the candles.
If the world outside wouldn’t have been falling apart, it would have been nice. I needed to spend more time with him, but Erik seemed like a really good guy. The kind I could spend a few months with. The kind that wouldn’t torture me and make my life a living hell.
Then again, looks were deceiving. Elijah was extremely good-looking. He could have been a model or an actor, but instead, he chose to be a psycho.
Erik sat back down. “Somehow, the day always gets away from us, doesn’t it?”
“It does,” I replied.
“Well, I supposed I should bring the water inside,” Erik said, slapping his thighs. “Had to shove everything in the garage with those guys coming.”
I stood. “Let me help.”
“That’s not necessary,” Erik said, his eyes darting to the table. “Go eat something. Looks like you and Sam were going to concoct some kind of meal.”
“It was Sam’s idea.”
“Figured as much.” Erik raised a brow. “Hope you weren’t going to go outside to heat something up alone.”
I bit my lip. “Oh, no. Of course, not.”
“Right,” he said, rolling his eyes. “I probably shouldn’t take my eyes off you even for a second.”
“Sam wouldn’t like that kind of talk,” I said with a smile. “She’d call that weirdo stalker talk or something.”
Erik looked down and laughed.
“Let me help you,” I said, almost begged. “Keeping busy helps.”
“Tell me about it,” Erik said with a snort. “That’s what I’ve done all my life. Kept busy.”
“Do you have family?” I asked.
Erik shrugged. “It’s been just me for a while. I work too much for relationships.”
“Worked.”
“Sorry?”
“Past tense. Worked. You don’t have that job anymore,” I said, my eyebrows squeezing together sympathetically.
He stood. “I guess you’re right.”
I got to my feet. We were only inches apart.
Erik’s breathing slowed as he looked into my eyes. “I have all this stuff, though. Look at what good it’s done for me.”
“I inherited a lot of stuff,” I said, trying to cut the tension. “If stuff helped anything, I wouldn’t need medication or anything. No one has more stuff than me.”
“Fine,” Erik said. “You can help.”
He turned and headed toward the door. I was thankful I could breathe again.
I hated feeling anything toward a guy. After what I’d been through, it felt wrong.
Scary.
It wasn’t like anything would happen between us, but maybe a little fun wouldn’t be so bad. I didn’t hate men. Erik wasn’t Elijah. No one was Elijah.
Of course, it was foolish of me to even think that Erik was interested in anything at all. He was just being neighborly.
We brought the water into the basement. It didn’t take long before we had everything stored in his giant storage closet with all the bottles of booze.
He used the microwave to warm up some packaged dinners. He brought them upstairs to the dining room table.
Rain tapped the window as we ate by candlelight and sipped our Riesling. It would have been extremely romantic any other time, but knowing why we were eating at candlelight made it quite different.
Every so often, I could hear a dart smacking into the board through the basement door. Playing games was one of Dorian’s ways of keeping busy.
“What will we really do if his dad comes looking for him?” I asked.
“I don’t know,” Erik said. “I wouldn’t let that gorilla in my house even if Dorian wasn’t here.”
I smiled, barely remembering anything about Dorian’s dad, but the description seemed fitting from what I did remember.
“I’m just hoping he’ll just let it go.” Erik hesitated, waiting for the darts to hit the board again. At the first thud, he continued. “It seems like the ape should be thrilled to have what he considers a thorn out of his side.”
“It was really nice of you to take him in,” I said.
“What was I going to do?” Erik asked, looking down at his food. “I guess that’s just the kind of guy I am.”
His eyes shifted up and landed on mine. The candlelight glimmered in his glossy eyes. His lips curled into a warm smile as he held my gaze.
“Sorry, I didn’t have anything better to serve you,” Erik said, looking down at the food again. “I normally would do a much better job when I cook for a woman.”
“Did you cook for a lot of women?”
Erik huffed. “I wish. I was far too busy. The last date I had was at least a year ago.”
“Are you calling this a date?” I asked.
“Are you?” Erik raised a brow.
“I hadn’t really classified it beyond having a meal,” I said, ignoring the heat filling my cheeks. I shoved my hands under the table and cleared my throat. “It seems like it’s raining more often since the solar storm, don’t you think?”
Erik turned to the window. “Maybe. Doesn’t seem like more rain than usual to me for this time of year.”
“Let me clean up,” I said, noticing he was finished.
“I got it,” Erik said, tipping his head toward the living room. “You can go relax. It’s been a busy day.”
“Please let me do something to feel useful,” I said, pressing my palms together. “You’re already feeding us and giving us a roof.”
Erik grinned. “You’ve provided us lots of water.”
“I’ll clean up,” I said firmly as I walked to his side of the table and picked up the empty plastic container.
He stood, our bodies nearly touching. “Let’s do it together.”
My breaths came quicker. I stared up into his eyes as the temperature around us rose ten degrees.
The intensity of the way he looked at me prickled my skin. I was even sure he knew what he was doing to me.
“Okay,” I said, taking a step back. “I’ll clean up my own mess.”
“You’ve got yourself a deal,” Erik said.
He followed me, dropping his plastic container into the trash a second after I did. I could feel the warmth radiating from his body as he stood inches behind me, waiting to rinse off his fork.
I turned and slid away, keeping my eyes down. If I had to endure one more look, I didn’t know if I’d be able to stop myself.
Instead of sitting on the couch, I forced out an awkward yawn. “I’m exhausted. I think I’m going to turn in.”
Halfway up the stairs, I r
econsidered but stopped myself when I realized it was the wine talking. Erik was being a good host… it would be so incredibly appropriate to do something I couldn’t take back.
I liked staying with him. For the most part, I felt safer, and that was the deciding factor.
“It’s still early,” Erik called, but I was already at the top of the stairs.
I pulled in a shaky breath. “See you in the morning. Good night.”
I closed my door and thudded my head back. I was an idiot.
23
Erik and Dorian were working on sorting through supplies in the basement. The rain that had passed through brought heat with it, warming the house.
I fanned myself at the kitchen table while Sam crunched into trail mix. She held up the bag, but I shook my head. The heat had killed my appetite.
“Erik said he knows where we can find a vehicle,” I said, keeping my voice low.
“That’s great news,” Sam said, smacking the table with her hand. “Where? How? When?”
I exhaled. “There’s a catch.”
“What kind of catch?”
“He’ll tell us when he brings us to it.”
Sam’s eyes narrowed. “What does that mean?”
“He won’t tell us unless he can come with us.”
Sam chuckled for at least twenty seconds too long. “Yeah, that can’t happen.”
“Why not?” I asked leaning toward her, with my palms pressed against the table. My voice was hushed. “He’s armed.”
“Because if something happened,” Sam said. “You know this is a huge risk.”
“I know that but I didn’t realize you knew it,” I mumbled, sliding back into my chair. “You know,” I said, crossing my arms, “you won’t be any good to Dott if something happens to you.”
Sam cocked her head to the side. “I know that, but what kind of mom would I be if I just sat here and did nothing?”
“I’m honestly not sure.”
“If you had a daughter, you’d go to her,” Sam said. “You wouldn’t feel like you had a choice. She’s only six. She doesn’t understand why I’m not there.”
“Jameson will explain it,” I said.
Sam shook her head. “It won’t matter. All she will know is that when things got bad, mommy wasn’t there.”
“I don’t know,” I said with a quick, heavy sigh. “You’re probably right.”
“Right about what?” Dorian asked as he crouched down and grabbed something from under the sink. He popped back up with some kind of cleaner, looking back and forth between Sam and me. He frowned slightly. “What’s going on? I can tell when something is going on.”
“It’s nothing,” I said, waving my hand.
Sam’s chair squeaked as she pushed herself from the table and stood. “Erik wants to come with us to get my daughter.”
“That’s… that’s ridiculous. That’s like so… dangerous,” Dorian stammered. “I mean, like, no whatever. It is.”
“That’s what I was trying to explain to Mel,” Sam said, throwing her hands into the air.
“So, like you were all just going to leave me here without saying anything?” Dorian asked. “That’s not cool either.”
“No one is coming with me,” Sam said, brushing a strand of fiery red hair from her face.
My nose wrinkled. “You’re not going alone.”
“I really think my odds of making it there are better if I go alone,” Sam said, looking at her nails. “I’ll just drive straight through.”
“Gas?”
“I’ll figure it out,” Sam said.
Dorian held up a hand. “You’re all nuts.”
The stairs thudded with Erik’s footfalls. He froze at the top, obviously noticing the tension in the room.
“What’s going on? Did something happen?” Erik asked.
“You’re not coming to Massachusetts,” Sam said, enunciating word.
Erik’s eyes landed on mine, and I quickly shifted them away. Erik shrugged.
“Good luck finding a ride then,” he muttered as he opened a drawer and pulled out a rag. “I can’t stop you from going, obviously, but that doesn’t mean I have to help you either.”
“I never asked for your help,” Sam said.
“No, you didn’t,” Erik said. “I’m just not going to be party to something that will lead to you getting hurt or killed. Don’t need something like that on my conscience.”
Sam sighed. “There are probably tons of people out there willing to help. We’re just in like some redneck territory here where everyone thinks it’s every man for himself.”
Erik laughed but didn’t say anything. Sam’s cheeks burned with anger.
“What?” she demanded.
“It’s going to be worse in any big city,” Erik said. “You’re going to need supplies, a vehicle, fuel, and protection. I’ve got all but one of those items.”
“I can get them too,” Sam said, but her shoulder softened. She looked down. “I know you all think I’m stupid, but she’s my daughter. One day, you’ll understand.”
Dorian cleared his throat. “I still can’t believe you were all just going to leave without telling me.”
“Shut up, Dorian,” Sam and Erik both said at the same time.
“Fine,” Sam said.
I wasn’t exactly sure what changed her mind. Maybe it was that she knew she wouldn’t be able to make it far on her own.
“We’ll all go, or rather, anyone that wants to join me, is welcome to, but it’s not going to be easy,” Sam said.
Erik nodded. They agreed on something finally.
“It’s going to be hell, but we’ll stay off the main roads, and if we’re careful and smart, maybe we can get to her,” Erik said.
“Isn’t it like really foolish to leave all this behind?” Dorian asked. He quickly held up his hand. “I know, shut up, Dorian.”
“You’re not wrong,” I said.
Erik’s head bobbed. “What I have isn’t going to last forever either. We eventually would have to restock.”
“Not for a while, though,” Dorian said, scratching the back of his neck.
“We’ll take as much as we can,” Erik said. “Might just have to leave behind the booze.”
Dorian winced. “Yikes, man. That’s my medicine.” He turned to me. “No offense.”
“None taken,” I said. “It helps. Sort of.”
Erik clapped his hands together. “All right, it’s settled then.”
“Fine.” Sam crossed her arms. “When do we go?”
“Whenever we’re ready,” Erik said.
“How long will that take?” Sam asked.
Dorian and I looked like we were watching a tennis match. Our heads nauseatingly shifting back and forth and back of forth.
“A week if we push it.”
“A week?” Sam’s brow wrinkled.
Erik cocked his head. “Would have taken longer on your own, guaranteed.”
“Okay, fine. Let’s get started then,” Sam said.
“Sounds good,” Erik said. He hesitated briefly, but turned and went back downstairs.
Sam chewed her lip. “I’m not sure what just happened.”
“I guess we pack,” I said.
“Where do we start?” Sam frowned. “Like, am I supposed to just go down there and start boxing up food? I don’t know what kind of vehicle he has in mind. How much to take.”
“Guess we need his help,” Dorian said.
Sam rolled her eyes, but I could tell she knew she was in over her head. “Guess so.”
“Maybe we should start with lunch,” Dorian said. “I’m famished.”
My stomach rumbled. “Me too.”
“We all are,” Sam said under her breath.
“Erik and I were going to go fishing, but I’m actually kind of afraid to ask him if that’s still on the agenda. Also, I don’t feel like waiting,” Dorian said. “He’s got this expensive mix I can form into some kind of veggie patty and grill it.”
“Sounds great,” I said, but he could have given me a can of corn, and that would have sounded delicious. “Let me help.”
Dorian grinned as he shoved his hands into his pockets. “Awesome. That’s great.”
“I’ll pick out the wine,” Sam said. “I feel like drinking an entire bottle.”
I almost asked what was new, but decided against the comment based on her mood. She wasn’t in the mood for my humor. Or anyone’s humor.
The three of us sat outside on Erik’s lawn chairs, circled around the grill. It felt like there were eyes on me, but when I turned back toward the house, there wasn’t anyone in the window.
I’d thought that maybe Erik had wanted to keep an eye on us while we were outside. Apparently, it was just my imagination acting up.
Sam was already half done with the bottle and blabbing to Dorian about Elijah. He’d frequently turn with his mouth hanging open and ask if it was true to everything she told him. My neck was starting to feel sore from all the movement.
The leaves in the trees rustled in the gentle breeze. It was still cloudy, giving everything a dreary gray tone.
“It’s disgusting out here,” Sam said between stories. “Why is it so hot when there is no sun?”
“This summer has been hotter, don’t you think?” Dorian asked, flipping over the patties with perfect grill marks. He curled his fingers toward the bottle of wine. “Could I get a swig of that?”
“We don’t swig wine,” Sam said, straightening her shoulders. “We sip it.”
Dorian laughed. “Right, if you sipped, that bottle wouldn’t be more than half gone. I call that more of a guzzle.”
Sam blinked several times but handed him the bottle. “I saw lots more in the basement, so I guess I could share.”
“More than we’ll drink before we leave,” Dorian said.
“Drinking on the adventure probably isn’t going to be a good idea.” Sam clapped her hands together and turned to me. “Mel! We will find you new medicine along the way!”
“Okay,” I said.
Sam patted the back of my hand. “It’ll help calm you. You’ve been so tense. Stressed. Being stressed is really bad for you, but you already know that.”
“Yeah,” I said, turning quickly at the sound of leaves crunching.
The back door opened, and I noticed a man walking through the trees. Erik stepped over to us as the waving man approached.
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