But she was gone. She’d been gone for more than fifteen years and he still missed her every moment of every single day.
Simone, however, was very much alive. He thought of her vivacious smile, her contagious laugh and the messy red curls that drove him crazy. She’d done what he’d thought impossible—she’d made him feel again. Awoken inside him emotions and desires he’d thought were buried alongside his mum, dad and baby boy. He may not have known her long, but she’d gotten under his skin in a way no other woman had since Sarah.
The way he saw it, he had two options. He could stay out here alone, going through the motions from day to day but never actually living; in essence, become his father. Or he could choose to risk his heart and take a chance on what life was offering.
It might take a while and a heck of a lot of grovelling to win Simone around but he planned on stepping up to the plate and accepting his responsibilities to her and their baby. He wanted to. And he owed it to himself, to Simone and to their unborn child to go and talk to her, to give her an explanation for his gutless behaviour and to promise he’d never act in such a manner again.
Decision made, Angus forwent lunch, jumped back in his ute and hightailed it to Bunyip Bay. He’d been there more in the last week than ever in his life and drove on autopilot, already feeling better now he’d made the decision. He puffed out a breath of relief when he saw her Pajero in the driveway and parked right behind it. Demons spoke in his head, reminding him of all the possible hurt and pain he was opening himself up to by coming here, but he pushed them aside, climbed out of his ute and charged up the path to the front door. He rapped hard and waited.
‘If you’re here to yell at me or to throw more accusations, then you can turn back around,’ she spat the moment she opened the door. ‘I don’t need that right now.’
He opened his mouth to speak but the words caught in his throat as he drank her in. She looked awful. Beautiful but awful. As if she’d been crying for the last two days and hadn’t had a good meal in that time either. He had a crazy urge to cook something for her and he never had an urge to cook for anyone. The thought that he’d walked away from her made him sick.
‘Well, are you just going to stand there like a codfish or are you going to tell me why you’re here?’
That she was angry wasn’t unexpected but the absolute emotion in his heart was. Until he’d seen her again, he hadn’t realised just how much he wanted her. Needed her. The thought that she might not forgive him, might not want to give them a chance, left him cold. ‘I’m sorry,’ he blurted, wishing he had Logan’s way with words. He’d never been good at knowing what to say to women and he shouldn’t have just barged over here before thinking up some kind of speech.
Simone perched her hands on her hips and raised her eyebrows at him. ‘What exactly are you sorry for? Sorry you slept with me? Sorry I’m pregnant? Sorry you’re a coward? Sorry you’re a total dick? Sorry you’re taking up space on my porch and wasting my time when I could be watching daytime TV and devouring the entire contents of my pantry?’
He held up a hand and, to his surprise, she went quiet. ‘How about … I’m sorry for all of the above? And a lot of other things too.’
She cocked her head to one side as if contemplating his response. ‘And what exactly does this apology mean? Because “sorry” is a lovely word but—’
Again he interrupted. ‘Can I come inside? We need to talk.’
‘Now there’s a turn-up for the books, a man who wants to talk.’ She moved back a little and gestured down the hallway, although her tone was still cold. ‘Well, sure, come on in.’
He stepped inside and she closed the door behind them and then indicated he should follow her into the lounge room.
‘Take a seat,’ she said, pointing to an armchair in the corner.
He did as he was told and Simone sat down on the couch opposite. She folded her arms and glared at him expectantly. He felt like some naughty kid in the principal’s office and wished she’d offer him a coffee so he’d have something to do with his hands. But she obviously wasn’t in a hospitable mood.
‘I was an idiot the other day, when I found out about—’ he swallowed ‘—our baby.’
‘No kidding.’ She rolled her eyes and he saw where Harriet got it from.
‘And while there’s no excuse for leaving you like I did,’ he continued, ‘I was in shock and needed time to think things through.’
‘Look,’ Simone said, leaning forward, ‘I understand the shock. When the doctor told me, I couldn’t believe it. I’m thirty-five years old, I have two teenage daughters and I was pretty sure I was done with shopping in the nappy aisle. The question is, how do you feel now you’ve had time to digest the news that you’re going to be a dad?’
‘Did Logan ever tell you that I am a dad?’
Shock flashed across her face. ‘To Olivia you mean?’
He shook his head and hoped he could get it all out. Although this was something he thought about constantly, he’d never told anyone who didn’t already know. ‘Sarah and I had a little boy,’ he confessed. Simone frowned and he continued. ‘We were quite young and he wasn’t planned but we loved him from the second we found out. We called him Tim and he was born not long after Dad committed suicide. He brought so much hope and joy into all our lives.’
He paused. Even after all these years, it was hard to speak of that day. Hard not to wonder if they’d missed something, if there was something they could have done to help him. ‘He died at seven months.’
‘Oh my God,’ she gasped, her hand flying up to cover her mouth, her eyes wide.
Although she didn’t ask, he wanted her to know the whole story. He didn’t want any secrets between them. ‘It was cot death—or at least that’s what they called it. Basically no-one knows why. Sarah fed him at ten o’clock, then we put him to bed healthy and happy, and when I went in to him the next morning, he was gone. Sarah was never the same again. I was still responsible for Liv, but she didn’t want to help raise my sister when her own child was dead. And I couldn’t blame her.’
* * *
Simone swiped at her eyes, wishing she’d bothered to buy tissues. Her heart ached at Angus’s story. It ached for him. She couldn’t even begin to imagine how she would feel if one of her daughters died. Harriet going missing for an hour had taken a decade off her life. And in less than a week, she’d already become attached to the life inside her.
‘How did you handle so much tragedy?’ she asked, feeling terrible about how snarky she’d been when he arrived. If only she’d known this before. It must have been so hard for him to come, to open up like this.
Angus shrugged. ‘I guess the truth is I haven’t handled it. Logan and Olivia are right—I locked myself away from the world, figuring that if I didn’t make connections with people, I could protect myself against further hurt. But life doesn’t work that way.’
‘Life sucks sometimes,’ she said, fighting the urge to go over and hug him. That might be weird. He might think she was making a move when what they needed to do was discuss the future of their child.
‘I didn’t tell you this to make you feel sorry for me,’ he said, raking a hand through his thick mop of hair. ‘I just hoped maybe you could understand my terrible reaction when I first found out you were pregnant. I’ll understand if you can’t, but I’d really like you to forgive me for running away. And I’d like to try that conversation again.’
‘The baby conversation?’ she asked, her heart swelling with love for him. She’d suspected her feelings for him were stronger than lust but now he’d opened his heart to her, she just wanted to jump inside it and take up residence. Hope sparked within her.
He nodded. ‘I’d like to talk about us as well.’
‘Us?’
He pushed off the armchair and crossed the room, sitting down beside her on the couch. They were close—Angus’s thigh and shoulder pressing against hers, his breath warm against her face as he took her hand. She almost squeaked
at the electricity that zapped between them. Even if she had wanted to stay angry, her body had other ideas.
‘Simone,’ he said, his tone deep and serious.
‘Yes?’ She was helpless, able only to look into his dark brown eyes.
‘I’m not good with saying how I feel,’ he began, ‘but I want you to know that until I met you, I was content to live in my own sad world. Sure, I had the odd liaison, but no woman ever made me lose control the way you did. What we did—sleeping together when you were with Logan—was wrong, but also more right than anything I’ve ever done. I’m man enough to admit that my feelings for you scare me shitless, and adding a baby into all that just makes my fear a hundred times worse. The thought of losing you, of losing another child, is too awful to contemplate, but I don’t want fear to control my life anymore.’
‘What are you saying?’ she whispered, wanting to be sure before she made a total fool of herself by confessing she was head over heels for him.
He rubbed his jawline with his free hand. ‘I guess I’m asking if you’ll let me into your life.’
‘You guess?’ She couldn’t help but smile at the uncertainty in his voice. He was adorable when he didn’t know what to say.
‘Yes. I mean, no. I am asking if you’ll let me into your life. I want to give us a shot and I want to be there every moment of this pregnancy and our little one’s life.’
The tears that had only just subsided welled again in the back of her throat. Happiness like she hadn’t felt in years flooded her, so that she needed a moment before she could reply.
Angus reached into his pocket and pulled out a clean plaid hanky. ‘Here,’ he said, wiping away a tear that had snuck down her cheek.
‘You carry a hanky?’ she asked, unable to keep the amusement out of her voice.
He shrugged, his cheeks flushing. ‘It’s something Mum always made us do. Hard habit to break.’
She smiled and took the hanky from him, wiping her nose and inhaling his unique scent. She was never going to give it back. ‘It’s cute. Your mum sounds like a very special woman.’
He nodded. ‘She was. I wish she could have met you and our baby.’ Angus reached out and pressed his hand against her still flat stomach; butterflies fluttered in her belly at his touch.
‘Me too,’ she whispered back, placing her hand on top of his, loving the warmth seeping from his skin.
‘Does that mean …’ He cleared his throat. ‘Does that mean you’re willing to give us a try?’
In reply, she leaned towards him, cupped her hand around the back of his head and drew his lips to hers. Although this time there was no illicit aspect to their kiss, Simone’s body still shivered with the heat of it. And the knowledge that it was the first of many to come only heightened the experience. To have made peace with Angus was wonderful and she felt confident that in time, they would do the same with Logan and Frankie. The thought of Frankie not being an aunty to their baby … well, it was inconceivable and Simone silently vowed to do everything within her power to make amends.
But later. Right now, she had other priorities.
‘I guess that’s a yes?’ Angus said, looking at her as though he’d like to devour her when they finally pulled apart.
She licked her lips and nodded, then leaned forward and whispered into his ear. ‘Shall we seal the deal in the bedroom?’
His eyes widened. ‘You feeling up to that?’
She laughed. ‘I’m pregnant, not ill. I still have needs and from now on, it’s your duty to take care of them.’
‘In that case, I’d better get to work.’ And with those magical words, Angus swooped Simone up into his arms and carried her into the hallway.
‘Which bedroom?’ he asked with a gruff caveman voice that turned her insides liquid with desire.
‘Second on the right,’ she replied, every nerve in her body on fire.
Who knew something so wrong could turn out to be this right?
Chapter Thirty-two
Frankie looked up at the sound of the café door opening, hoping it might be Simone come to offer an olive branch. It was the next best thing—Logan. Smiling, she wiped her hands on her apron and went around the counter to greet him.
‘Hey there,’ she said, leaning in for a quick kiss. ‘Can I get you something for lunch?’
He grinned sheepishly. ‘That may be why I decided to take a break from writing.’
She shook her head. ‘And here I was thinking you’d come to see me.’
‘That too. You guys busy today?’
‘Steady. But I’m ready for a break. How about I get us both a slice of pie and I’ll come sit with you.’
‘Sounds just about perfect.’ With a playful pat on her bum, Logan went to find a table and Frankie treated herself to a quick perve. He really did have the best arse in the history of arses and no-one wore jeans like he did. Granted they’d only been together a few weeks, but she still had to pinch herself every time she thought about the fact he was hers. The only thing that put a dampener on this was the fight with Simone.
The two days since they’d last spoken had been the longest two days of her life. Maybe she was being stubborn, but after all the horrid things Simone had said, Frankie felt it should be up to her to make the first move. She could tell Logan was more cut up about his altercation with Angus than he was letting on as well, but she didn’t know what to do about it. With a sigh, she turned and headed into the kitchen to get their pie.
‘Geez, that looks and smells amazing,’ Logan said, when she brought two plates to his table a few minutes later. He patted his washboard abs. ‘You’re gonna make me fat.’
She laughed and sat down opposite him. ‘I think you’ve got a little way to go yet.’
They both picked up their forks and dug in, Logan moaning with pleasure as he slipped the first mouthful into his mouth. She loved that it was her cooking that made him sound like that.
‘What’s your secret?’ he asked. ‘I can never get mine this flaky.’
She wriggled her eyebrows at him. ‘I could tell you but then I’d have to kill you.’
He leaned towards her and whispered in his most seductive voice, ‘I’ll get it out of you later.’
She didn’t reply but took a mouthful of pie because the truth was he probably could seduce it out of her. His hands and tongue had amazing talents and if he used them against her, resistance would be futile.
‘Guess who I just saw parked outside Simone’s place when I drove past?’ Logan asked, giving up on the pastry secret for now.
Frankie’s stomach turned hard. ‘Stella or Ruby?’ So far, she’d seen neither of their close friends since the fight and didn’t like the idea that Simone might be poisoning them against her. She wouldn’t, would she?
‘Angus,’ Logan said. ‘Well, his ute.’
‘Really?’ Relief swamped Frankie as she raised her eyebrows. ‘I wonder if they’re an item now.’
A look of disbelief crossed Logan’s face. ‘I don’t think Angus knows how to be “an item” with anyone anymore, but I guess they might try to make a go of it because of the baby.’
‘Are you still angry at him?’
He shrugged one shoulder. ‘I was fucking furious to start with, but now I’m hurt more than angry.’
‘Me too,’ she admitted. ‘But I hate all this bitterness between us. I love my sister and I love my nieces and I’ll love a new niece or nephew too. I don’t want this to be one of those families where nobody talks to anybody else.’
‘Me neither,’ Logan agreed. ‘I’ve lost too many people I love to give up on the ones I have left.’
‘So what do we do then?’
‘Personally, I was hoping Angus would come grovelling, but then I guess I haven’t answered any of his phone calls.’
Frankie half-laughed. ‘And I haven’t answered any of Simone’s. I was waiting for her to turn up in person. I wanted to see her grovel.’
‘We could be the bigger people I guess,’ Logan suggest
ed.
‘What? Go to them and apologise? But we didn’t do anything wrong!’
He laughed at her indignation. ‘Well, maybe we don’t apologise exactly. Maybe we try a different tack instead and take them a congratulatory gift. Give them our blessing, so to speak.’
‘What exactly did you have in mind?’
Before Logan could reply, Monique called to Frankie from the counter. ‘Phone call for you,’ she said, holding the café’s cordless phone against her chest. ‘Someone from Geraldton High.’
Frankie frowned as she slowly got up. Her heart clenched as an overwhelming feeling of dread washed over her. ‘I’m emergency contact for Harriet and Grace if Simone can’t be contacted,’ she explained to Logan. Not that the school had ever had cause to call her before. ‘Something must be wrong.’
She jogged the few steps to take the phone from Monique. ‘Hello?’
‘Is that Francesca Madden?’ asked a woman’s voice.
‘Yes,’ Frankie said, not used to hearing her full name. ‘Has something happened?’
‘We have you down as emergency contact for Grace McArthur, is that right?’
‘Yes!’ Why wouldn’t she just tell her what was going on?
‘This is Mrs Beaton, Grace’s English teacher,’ explained the woman, who sounded as if she not only taught English but had once resided in that country. ‘I’ve been trying to contact Grace’s mother, but she’s not answering her phone. Grace had some sort of seizure in class and she’s been taken to Geraldton Hospital.’
‘Oh God,’ Frankie said, her hand rushing to cover her mouth. ‘Is she okay?’
‘She’s in the hands of the paramedics. We let her sister go with her and the assistant principal is heading to the hospital as we speak. I don’t know if you have any other way to reach Simone, but I’m sure Grace would like to see her mother as soon as she can get there. And if not, maybe you could come?’
‘Of course. Thank you for the call.’ Feeling as if she’d been knocked in the head by a plank of wood, she held the phone close. Logan was already at her side and Monique too looked worried. ‘It’s Grace,’ she explained. ‘She’s had some kind of seizure at school and they can’t contact Simone.’
Outback Sisters Page 33