Praise for
Plain Wisdom
“A treasure chest, for sure … The wisdom in these stories is time-tested and true—plain and simple.”
—KAREN KINGSBURY, New York Times best-selling author of Unlocked and Shades of Blue
“A fascinating comparison between two starkly different ways of life.”
—DONALD B. KRAYBILL, author of The Riddle of Amish Culture
“A beautiful weaving of the lives of two very different women drawn together through their bond of faith and love of family. Their intertwining stories offer both timeless wisdom and sincere encouragement to inspire all women to learn from one another’s experiences. You will enjoy their honesty, their humor, and their life lessons as well as some of their delicious recipes! Cindy and Miriam bring us back to the place where our hearts long to go—a place of simplicity and truth.”
—KAROL LADD, author of The Power of a Positive Woman
“Plain Wisdom provides a beautiful glimpse into the lives of my longtime friend Cindy Woodsmall and her Amish friend Miriam Flaud. Though separated by the modern world and Old Order Amish customs, they have a living faith that bonds them and invites us to embrace our experiences with greater hope, delight, and laughter.”
—DR. ALAN WEATHERLY, senior pastor of Asbury United Methodist Church, Madison, Alabama
“Cindy Woodsmall and Miriam Flaud have the unique ability to marry two very different lifestyles in a masterful way by focusing on their similarities in faith and in daily life. Their chapters are easily digested in short pages designed for busy women—be they Amish or English. I loved savoring the wisdom in this book as well as the mouth-watering recipes. Written with the true insight of women who have been there, Plain Wisdom is a serious guide to life that doesn’t take itself too seriously … and offers something for every woman.”
—ELLIE KAY, author of The 60-Minute Money Workout
OTHER BOOKS BY CINDY WOODSMALL
ADA’S HOUSE SERIES
The Hope of Refuge
The Bridge of Peace
(The Harvest of Grace, coming in fall 2011)
The Sound of Sleigh Bells
SISTERS OF THE QUILT SERIES
When the Heart Cries
When the Morning Comes
When the Soul Mends
PLAIN WISDOM
PUBLISHED BY WATERBROOK PRESS
12265 Oracle Boulevard, Suite 200
Colorado Springs, Colorado 80921
All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the King James Version. Scripture quotations marked (NASB) are taken from the New American Standard Bible®. © Copyright The Lockman Foundation 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977. Used by permission. (www.Lockman.org). Scripture quotations marked (NIV) are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®. NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by Biblica Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com.
Copyright © 2011 by Cindy Woodsmall
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.
Published in the United States by WaterBrook Multnomah, an imprint of the Crown Publishing Group, a division of Random House Inc., New York.
WATERBROOK and its deer colophon are registered trademarks of Random House Inc.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Woodsmall, Cindy.
Plain wisdom: an invitation into an Amish home and the hearts of two women / Cindy Woodsmall and Miriam Flaud. — 1st ed.
p. cm.
eISBN: 978-0-307-45935-0
1. Christian women—Religious life. 2. Amish women—Religious life. I. Flaud, Miriam.
II. Title.
BV4527.W6235 2011
277.3′083082—dc22
2010044303
v3.1
FROM MIRIAM:
To my awesome family: my husband, Daniel, and my children, David, Jacob, Mervin, Michael, Amanda, and Mark. To my wonderful daughters-in-law: Martha, Naomi, and Miriam. To my precious grandchildren: Jolaine, Michael, Timothy, Mervin, and J. R.
My love for all of you knows no bounds.
To my sisters, whom I love, and to my friends—both Amish and English alike—I cherish each of you.
FROM CINDY:
To Dad, Kathy, Leston, and Mark. If we’d known then what we know now, we’d have cherished each other more.
Our yesterdays are gone. Our tomorrows may never be.
But your indelible fingerprints are all over my heart, at least until I reach eternity.
To my agent, Steve Laube.
I came to you with a heart’s desire … and you heard me.
You counseled, cautioned, and encouraged—every word wise and helpful.
You’ve poured years of support into helping Miriam and me bring Plain Wisdom to fruition.
From the book’s title, writing style, pacing, and voice to the idea for the cover, your creative and technical guidance is in every part of this work.
CONTENTS
Cover
Other Books by This Author
Title Page
Copyright
Dedication
Introduction
Meet Miriam and Cindy
When Plain Meets Fancy
THE RHYTHM OF LIFE
The Plain Ways—A Sense of Community
Finding Rhythm
Maybe We All Need a Green Thumb
The Unexpected
Across-the-Field Notes
R-E-S-P-E-C-T
Hope
Kitchen Tables (Part 1)
The Waiting Game
TIMELESS BEGINNINGS
The Plain Ways—Weddings and Gifts
Kitchen Tables (Part 2)
Underestimated Power
Patience Is Waiting Without Anger
Finding Peace
New Day
Work Ethic
CHALLENGES GREAT AND SMALL
The Plain Ways—The Wash House, the Kitchen, and the Garden
The Flip Side
Life Interrupted
Love and Prayer and So Much More
A Day in the Life
I Am Who I Am
Can You Hear Me Now?
When Lack Hits Home
LAUGHTER IN ODD PLACES
The Plain Ways—Games, Puzzles, and Playtime
In a Cellar or up a Tree
Amish Friendship Bread
Laundry, Anyone?
The Comfort Zone
A Little Laughter Can Go a Long Way
BEAUTY, ASHES, AND THINGS BETWEEN
The Plain Ways—Something on the Side: Amish Women and Their Cottage Industries
The Sting
When Life Gives You Scraps
Having It All Together … or Not
Nevertheless, I Believe
Light in the Dark
Unexpected Refuge
IN HIS HANDS
The Plain Ways—Simple Celebrations
In the Garden
Mothers and Children
Gratefulness
Seeking and Finding
Giving and Accepting
Innocence in Action
Swimming Upstream
THE SHAPE OF TOMORROW
The Plain Ways—The Daadi Haus (the Grandfather House)
Looking for Answers
The Gifts of Children
Opportunity for the Taking
Annual Quilt Auction
Do You See What I See?
Light Flooding the Dark
The Strength of Weakness
; Our Final Thoughts
Discussion Guide
Acknowledgments
Notes
List of Recipes
INTRODUCTION
In 2001 Miriam and I lived seven hundred miles apart geographically—but a century apart by customs. Miriam is an Old Order Amish woman trying to keep the Old Ways and avoid modernization. I am a typical American woman trying to keep up with the constant changes in technology while meeting the expectations of society, church, parents, and peers. We didn’t know each other, but we had a mutual friend, and because of her, Miriam and I talked on the phone occasionally and shared letters regularly.
When Miriam invited me to visit her in 2002, I had no way of knowing how much we’d have in common. As our friendship grew, we began to realize that we’ve had many of the same life experiences, and we have approached them in faith and with some trepidation. Between us, we’ve given birth to nine babies—five we’ve ushered into adulthood; the others are now older teens or preteens. And both of us are still standing. Our cultural differences are vast; the more time I spend with Miriam, the more I realize just how different. Yet our methods for emotionally and spiritually dealing with life and work are remarkably similar.
In the visits since 2002, as we sat together, hedged in by her lilac bushes and sipping on coffee, a dream began to grow inside us. We wanted to share with other women our victories and defeats, what had and hadn’t worked for us, and to encourage them by being real and vulnerable. Our friendship has shown us that whatever culture we live in, successes are possible … and failures are inevitable, but they’re never final when placed in His hands.
As women we easily believe in the worth of a newborn, who can give nothing and takes much. We hold fast to hope for our children’s future, even for those teens who fight us every step of the way. We can see our friends’ lives through the eyes of faith. Yet when we think of ourselves, we often wallow in unforgiveness, self-loathing, and feelings of inadequacy.
Our desire is to help you embrace the beauty of the life God has given you. We wrote Plain Wisdom to encourage you to accept yourself, forgive yourself, challenge yourself, laugh at yourself, and, most important, see yourself through God’s eyes of love. For when you do, you will find the freedom to truly enjoy your life.
Plain Wisdom is a collection of events in our lives—from early childhood to just a few months ago—and lessons we’ve learned, insights we’ve discovered, words of wisdom, Amish recipes, pictures of the Amish culture, and even a touch of Amish and “Englischer,” or English (non-Amish), humor. In some cases we draw the lessons from our stories; at other times we’ll let the events speak for themselves, allowing the Holy Spirit to whisper to readers’ hearts through the details.
Our hope and prayer are that these memories will encourage and strengthen you as you create memories within your friend and family circles.
MEET MIRIAM AND CINDY
Then Peter opened his mouth, and said, Of a truth I perceive that God is no respecter of persons: but in every nation he that feareth him, and worketh righteousness, is accepted with him.
—ACTS 10:34–35
From Miriam
In the early eighteenth century, my ancestors crossed the Atlantic Ocean, traveling from Switzerland to America to escape persecution for their religious beliefs. As an Old Order Amish woman, I call myself the “Plain” part of Plain Wisdom. (Perhaps that makes Cindy the “Wisdom” part.)
I was born in St. Mary’s County in southern Maryland, the third of seven children. When I was a year old, we moved to Adams County, Pennsylvania. My home was always filled with family from both my mom’s and my dad’s sides. Then, when I was eleven, my parents bought a farm in the neighboring Franklin County. Today my husband and I live on the farm where he grew up, which is within walking distance of my parents’ place.
When one is born into an Amish household, he or she is expected to remain Amish and eventually join the church. The youth are encouraged to join the faith in their teen years. For me, like for most Amish youth, the question wasn’t, would I join? but rather, when would I take that step? So when the desire and the appropriate age came together, I, along with six other young women and six young men, took the first steps by attending instruction classes. A church leader teaches instruction classes, and, similar to courses held by other faiths, the purpose of instruction is to clarify the founding principles and scriptures of our faith. The lessons begin in late spring and continue throughout the summer. Meanwhile, I was courted by a handsome young man named Daniel Flaud, who was from the same youth group and church. The following year we were married. Eighteen months later we were blessed with our first son. As the years went by, we had four more sons and a daughter. Now, nearly thirty years later, our family has welcomed three daughters-in-law and five grandchildren.
I’ve enjoyed my life inside one of the most structured societies in the United States. I haven’t always known what to do, agreed with the rules, or handled situations with wisdom. But I’ve experienced the abundant joys as well as the occasional frustration our lifestyle brings.
Often when we meet people, we see our own lives differently—perhaps better in some ways and worse in others. Sometimes we choose to stay inside our familiar circles so we can avoid the discomforts that are a part of building new friendships. Cindy’s world was so very different than mine. Sophisticated. Filled with technology. And by my Plain standards, it was worldly. I invite you to come along as I prepared to welcome her into my home.
From Cindy
Some of you know me as the author of fiction books with Amish settings and characters. But, like Miriam, my family roots trace back to Europe (specifically to Scotland), and my ancestors landed in America in the mid–seventeen hundreds. I was born in Washington DC, the youngest child in a family of four. When my parents were growing up, their family lives were tough, and they had almost no support. But when they married in their teenage years, they were determined to beat the odds and make a success out of their lives.
My family moved frequently when I was growing up. My dad would buy an old home in need of repair, and he and Mom would fix it up while living in it. Then they would sell it, and the process would start all over again. No matter where we lived, my vivid imagination constantly wove fictional stories of family life, romance, and conflict.
The summer between my eighth- and ninth-grade years in school, my family moved from Maryland to Alabama. Because of that move, I eventually met and married Tommy. A few years after that, we had our first son, and I became a full-time homemaker. Two years later I gave birth to our second son. I homeschooled our two boys through middle school, and we welcomed a third son into our home in 1994.
Throughout the years my mind had continued to devise fictional stories, but I was never willing to invest time in writing them. The story ideas were ceaseless, and, in hopes of quieting them, I began writing as a hobby in 1999. In 2002 I attended my first writers’ conference1 and then fell in love with the whole writing process.
I’ve enjoyed the freedom and opportunity granted to American women—whether it was choosing what church to attend, how to school our children, or what career path to take. But like Miriam, I haven’t always known what to do, agreed with all the rules that bound me, or handled every situation with wisdom. I, too, have experienced the abundant joys of my lifestyle as well as the frustrations.
One of the great blessings in my life is having been invited into Miriam’s home and into her life. Neither of us could have imagined what that initial visit would lead to as I anxiously went from my world into hers.
Come, travel with me as I entered her world for the first time.
WHEN PLAIN MEETS FANCY
Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him … But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!
—ECCLESIASTES 4:9–10, NIV
From Miriam 2002
The sound of a push reel mower could be hea
rd from my kitchen window as my son Mark made the last few rounds in the front yard. We had been looking forward to this day for months. Cindy Woodsmall and her son Tyler were expected to arrive at any minute. While I chopped veggies for the salad for that night’s supper, my daughter, Amanda, hurriedly swept the kitchen one more time as we anxiously watched the road for our company.
Cindy and I had chosen the second week in June because my husband, Daniel, was planning to be in Maine that week on a timber-framing job. We thought this would give us lots of chat time—just the moms and our six children, three of which had full-time summer jobs. Daniel would be here when she arrived, but I knew he’d have to leave soon afterward. As the time of her arrival drew near, I found myself wishing my husband could stay. He’s the social one, able to maintain interesting conversations with anyone. Suddenly I went from being a little nervous to a lot nervous. What if she came all this way and was disappointed not only in my ability to hold a reasonable conversation but also in me as a person? We’d shared letters and long phone conversations, but what if I fell way short of her expectations once we were together?
After their arrival Daniel kept the conversation lively for about an hour, but then he had to leave. The house grew silent and the conversation became stilted the moment he left. Cindy and I spent the afternoon trying to break the ice, and then that evening we gathered around the dining room table to share a meal. My still-in-the-nest children—three in their teens and two elementary-school age—are usually quite talkative at dinnertime, but they were awfully quiet that evening. With my husband gone, I took my place in his chair at the head of the table, and I felt very uncomfortable doing so. I tried to think of things to say but found myself lost in a sea of wishing that Daniel were home.
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