by Karen White
She felt his pull and leaned into him, brushing her forehead on his chest. “One lesson can’t fill in for a whole lifetime of summers.”
“No. But it’s a start.”
She looked into his eyes then and wanted more than ever to share a part of his life, even just this one thing. “All right. I’ll go get changed.” Taking the bag, she started up the stairs. “What about you? Are you going to wear your jeans?”
He started unbuckling his pants, and she stared at him in alarm. “Nope. I’ve got my swimming trunks on under my pants. I was a Boy Scout. I’m always prepared.”
Raising an eyebrow, she ran upstairs to her bedroom to change.
When she emerged a short time later, she had already wrapped a towel around her waist and over her shoulders. The tiny yellow string bikini Lucinda had picked out for her to wear had barely enough material to make a tissue that would cover a sneeze, much less parts of her body. She stood in front of the Jacuzzi in the secluded backyard, watching as Joe took the cover off, and shivered until her teeth knocked together.
“I’m free . . . zing.”
“It’s nice and warm in here. Just drop your towels and we’ll get in.”
She didn’t move.
“If you don’t, I’m going to lift you and put you in the water with your towels, and then you won’t have something to wrap yourself in when you get out.”
That thought alone made her shiver more. With her eyes shut tight, she dropped the towels. When she opened her eyes to be able to see herself into the Jacuzzi, she couldn’t help noticing Joe’s stunned expression. He looked like what she imagined a guy would look like after winning the lottery. Climbing in, she quickly lowered herself down to her shoulders, loving the feeling of warmth that engulfed her.
Joe pulled off his shirt and climbed in. He moved toward her, pushing waves of hot water over her shoulders. “Are you ready?”
Teeth chattering again, she nodded.
“Cold?”
She shook her head.
“Good. Then come on.” He put his hands on her bare waist under the water, and she quickly inhaled. “Now lie back. I’m holding you and I won’t let you go.”
He pushed her backward, keeping his hands firm on her waist. She resisted, the fear of being submerged clouding out the reality of his strong hands supporting her.
“I won’t let go of you. Just lie back, and my hands will help you float.”
She looked in his eyes again and felt for the first time that she could do this. Holding tightly to his upper arms, she lay back, feeling the rush of warm water in her ears and soaking her hair. With a quick movement, he let go with one hand and reached under her knees to bring her legs to the surface.
Jerking away from him, she quickly found purchase on the bottom of the Jacuzzi with her feet. “What are you doing?” she sputtered, trying to wipe the water out of her face.
He kept his voice calm, his eyes steady as he regarded her. “I was still holding you. I only released you with one hand so I could raise your legs to the surface.”
She eyed him suspiciously.
“I won’t let you go under. Can you trust me?”
Slowly she nodded, feeling something free up and float to the surface of her heart like tiny bubbles.
He leaned her back again, and this time she allowed him to move her legs to the surface.
“I think you’re about to draw blood.”
Suzanne glanced at where her nails were digging into Joe’s arm and quickly released them.
“Relax, Suzanne. As long as I’m here, you don’t have to worry about anything.”
That hardness in her heart spewed upward again in a myriad of bubbles as her arms slid into the water and she allowed herself to relax. She stared up at the night sky and saw her breath rise and float up into the air before disappearing. It was as if she were watching the old Suzanne take leave, creating a vacancy in her heart to fill with hope.
Closing her eyes, she listened to the steady rhythm of the jets under the water and splayed her fingers wide, as if they, too, could enjoy their newfound freedom. She looked up at Joe to see if she was dreaming, and his touch kept her earthbound, tethered like a flaming red leaf on a fall branch.
And then his fingers released her, and she was floating by herself, swimming in a pool of contentment and possibility, sure in the knowledge that Joe would never let her go.
Joe wasn’t sure when Suzanne began to trust him, but he felt the lightness of her in his arms and knew she was ready. Gently removing his hands, he stared at her face in the chill moonlight, at her closed eyes and full lips, and saw her without her walls and defenses for the first time since he’d met her.
He touched her shoulder, and her eyes flew open, but not in surprise. It almost seemed as if she had been waiting for him. Taking hold of her arms, he helped her stand, feeling the goose bumps prickle her skin as the cold air hit her. Slowly, he slid his hands down her arms, wanting to warm her, wanting to make the ghosts go away. She looked up at him, her gray eyes translucent in the cold night, and knew he wanted to do much more than that.
She took a step closer, and the tiny strips of yellow material that covered her breasts pressed against his chest. “Thank you, Aunt Lucinda,” he said, his voice sounding strangled even to his own ears.
Her lips twitched upward into a grin. “Why?”
“For that bathing suit.” His hands found her bare waist again, and he moved her against him.
He heard her intake of breath. “You don’t think it’s too small?”
Struggling to find a breath, he said, “Uh, no. It’s perfect.”
He caught sight of the gold heart around her neck, winking at him. It didn’t startle him as it had before. Instead, it brought to mind the last time he had seen it, when she had been lying beneath him on the banks of the creek. Something long asleep inside him stirred, and he sighed, resting his forehead on hers.
Touching the charm for the first time, he pulled it closer. He could see there was something written on one side but couldn’t read it from the light of the back porch. “What does it say?”
Closing her hand over his, she spoke quietly. “A life without rain is like the sun without shade.” She paused. “Somebody gave it to my mother when she was a girl, and she gave it to me the day she disappeared from my life.”
He thought back on his own life, all the light and darkness of it, and felt the truth of the words. The joys could never have been as bright without the griefs that brought them to him. Like this amazing, resilient, and beautiful woman standing so close.
“It’s true, you know.”
Ducking her head, she said, “I’m not so sure. It never seems to stop raining.”
He placed his hands on her head and gently lifted her face to the sky. “It’s clear out now. You can put away your umbrella.”
She laughed softly, then opened her mouth to speak, but her words were lost as he bent his head and kissed her.
He jerked his head back. “I’m sorry. That’s not why I came here tonight.”
She regarded him for a long moment. When she spoke, her voice was quiet. “I learned a long time ago to grab the good stuff when you can. You rarely get a second chance. If we only have tonight, what would you like to spend it doing?”
His body knew, but he wasn’t sure his mind did. Yet somehow he couldn’t seem to convince himself that wanting her was wrong.
Tentatively he touched her again, and her arms found their way around his neck, the force of her moving him backward in the Jacuzzi and up against the bench seat along the edge. Her long legs wrapped around him, and he sat, the warmth of the water swallowing them both as Suzanne opened her mouth and welcomed his kiss. She tasted of fall air and water and felt solid and sleek under his hands. Her limbs were long and lean—not what he was used to, but they were beautiful and perfect. They were part of Suzanne.
She pulled away and met his gaze, her voice breathless. “Where are we going with this?”
He fo
rced his voice to remain steady. “I have a strong feeling we’re on the same track here.”
“I meant after this. After this, it can’t go any further. I need to make sure you know that we only have tonight.”
His hands stilled on her back, his chest tightening. He knew what she meant. Hadn’t it been the same thing he’d told her the night of Maddie’s adventure into Atlanta? She was offering him exactly what he’d asked for. His fingers toyed with the edge of the bikini bottom, feeling the firm flesh underneath. Yes, his body knew where it was going. He just wasn’t sure his heart did.
Kissing her back, he murmured against her lips, “I understand. It’s best for both of us.” He paused for a moment, gasping for breath and wondering if there was enough air in the space between them to fill his lungs. “And if I don’t make love to you right now, I’m going to die.”
The only sounds were the jets in the Jacuzzi and a car passing by on the street out front. And Suzanne’s breathing, tickling his neck and teasing his body. He remembered her words, “We have all night,” and closed his eyes with a small smile, thankful for this woman who had allowed him to forget, at least for a moment, three long years of grief and longing.
He felt a shiver go through her. “Are you cold?”
She nodded and moved her face to meet his gaze. “Let’s go inside.”
They moved apart, then stepped out of the Jacuzzi. Quickly grabbing the towels, he placed one on Suzanne’s shoulders and wrapped the other around his waist. Taking her hand, he led her to the house, anticipating the feel of a woman sleeping in his arms again. This woman.
Suzanne awoke to the sound of somebody moving around her room. With blurry eyes, she looked at her digital clock and saw that it was after four in the morning. “Joe?”
A shadow moved and settled on the bed next to her. A soft kiss brushed her lips. “I’ve got to get home.”
She felt disoriented for a moment, believing that she was home and that Joe belonged there with her. And then she remembered. “I know. It’s just . . . so soon.”
He chuckled in the darkness. “I was hoping you’d be too worn out to care.”
Blood rushed to her cheeks as she remembered the Jacuzzi and the rest of the night spent in the bed. And the kitchen. And the hallway. “I like sleeping with you.”
She could sense his raised eyebrows. “And the other stuff wasn’t bad, either.”
His knuckle brushed her jawbone as he lifted her hair and moved it behind her shoulder. “Me, too. But I’ve got to go before Maddie wakes up. I told her where I’d be, but I don’t think either of us expected me to be gone this long.” He sighed. “I’m just thankful Lucinda doesn’t live with us anymore. I’d have to act like Tom Cruise in Mission Impossible trying to get back into the house without her knowing.”
Taking his face in her hands, she kissed him, and it seemed to her that all that had once appeared so out of reach now rested solidly in the palms of her hands. She let go. “Good night. And thanks for the swimming lesson.”
“Anytime.” He stood. “Suzanne—”
She cut him off. “Good night, Joe.”
He paused for a moment before turning from her and leaving the room. She listened as his footsteps went down the stairs and out the front door, finally dying away on the sidewalk outside.
She turned on her side, hugging the pillow to her and smelling his scent. And as the first streaks of pink painted the dawn sky, she finally fell back asleep.
A pounding on the kitchen door awakened her around ten o’clock. It was Saturday, and she wasn’t due at work until one. Grumbling, she threw the covers off and stalked to the bedroom door, belatedly realizing she was stark naked. Reversing her steps, she found her red robe tangled in the bedsheets on the floor, and covered herself before running to answer the back door.
Lucinda stood at the back porch with a large Tupperware cake holder topped with a box of Krispy Kreme donuts. Around her wrist were two stuffed grocery bags from the Piggly Wiggly, one with a bright yellow tablecloth spilling out of it. Her red hair stood out in marked contrast to the overcast sky behind her. “You didn’t hear me knocking on the front door, so I decided to try the back.”
Suzanne frowned, staring at the donuts as her stomach grumbled. “Am I supposed to be at work?”
“No, honey. But the members of the Walton Ladies’ Bridge Club will be here in half an hour, and I wanted to make sure you were prepared.”
“Excuse me?” Suzanne stood at the open door while Lucinda bustled in, dropped everything on a counter, and began spreading the tablecloth over the oak kitchen table. She eyed the chairs lying on their backs and the heap of wet towels strewn on the floor without comment and went about her business. Suzanne flushed, recalling how the kitchen had become so disheveled.
Without meeting Suzanne’s gaze, Lucinda said, “I’m sponsoring you for membership, so you have to give a ladies’ breakfast for them all to meet you first.”
“But . . . but I never said that I wanted to be a member. I don’t even know how to play bridge.”
Lucinda clucked her tongue as she pulled out a silver serving platter and doily from the bag and artfully arranged donuts on it. “You can learn. You’re a real quick study.”
“No way. This is crazy. I’ve never been a member of anything, and I’m not about to start now. Besides, I’m not going to be here in a few months.” She walked over to where the cordless phone sat in its cradle on the counter. She handed it to Lucinda. “Call them now and tell them there’s been some horrible mistake. Tell them I died. I don’t care—just stop them from coming. Please.”
Lucinda looked at her, her false eyelashes drooping in commiseration. “I’m sorry, sugar. I’m sure most of them have already left by now. They’re very punctual.” Turning her back to Suzanne, she reached back into the apparently bottomless bag and pulled out a slender glass vase with a few long stems of gladiolus. She stuck this in the middle of the table, circled the silverware around it, and opened the cake case. “Besides, you’ll have all these leftovers.”
Suzanne stared openmouthed at the display. “Is this April Fool’s Day? Because if it is, you’ve got me good. If it isn’t, then you’ve lost your mind. I’m not hosting anything.”
Lucinda opened the back door. “I’m going to get the large coffeemaker out of my trunk while you go change.” She stepped outside and closed the door, then opened it quickly and stuck her head inside. “And you might want to take the bathing suits out of the Jacuzzi, too, before anybody sees them.”
At that moment, the sound of a car pulling into the driveway reached them. Lucinda’s eyes widened. “Oh dear. Somebody’s early. I’ll take care of the bathing suits. You just worry about getting dressed.”
With that, she closed the door in Suzanne’s face.
Suzanne stood paralyzed for a moment, wondering what would be worse—entertaining the town’s leading matrons wearing nothing but a red silk bathrobe, or dealing with Lucinda’s disappointment at Suzanne’s failure to fit in.
Grabbing up the towels and taking the stairs two at a time, she ran up to her bedroom to change.
When she came back down a little while later, it was at a much more sedate pace. The sound of women’s chatter and the aroma of freshly brewed coffee drifted up to her, and she was surprised to find herself nervous.
Why am I doing this? She eyed the simple pumps on her feet, which didn’t exactly go with her long gauze skirt but which seemed much more acceptable than her flip-flops. She had no idea why the opinions of the ladies and Lucinda had become important to her, but looking down at the pumps that pinched her toes, she felt it somehow did.
The ladies were all standing around the kitchen holding small china plates and teacups supplied by Lucinda. They all stopped talking when Suzanne entered the room. Forcing a big smile, she waved. “Hey. Glad y’all could make it.”
She had no idea that those words were even in her head before they appeared on her lips, and she shut her mouth, stunned, as the ladies
seemed to nod in approval.
Lucinda took her around the small room, making introductions, as Mrs. Crandall supplied her with a plate of coffee cake and a cup and saucer of coffee. Suzanne recognized most of the ladies from her chicken pox confinement, and the others she had not met she had at least heard about.
They retired to the halfway-refurbished front parlor, which held a mixture of beautiful antiques and patio furniture. Suzanne took a seat in a lawn chair while the other ladies found perches on the remaining chairs and occasional tables. Sugar Newcomb, most likely on account of her height, stood next to a beautiful cherry highboy, her cup resting on the top edge as she used both hands to hold her plate and eat with a fork.
As Suzanne looked around the room, she was thankful she and Joe had never made it into the parlor. Otherwise, she wouldn’t be able to look anybody in the face. Being in the kitchen had been difficult enough, but at least a tablecloth now covered the bare oak table whose hardness could be attested to by the bruises on Suzanne’s shoulders.
Lula Beasley sat next to Suzanne in a mismatched dining room chair and was engrossed in a conversation with Sweetpea Crandall and Brunelle Thompkins. Their conversation caught Suzanne’s attention, and she turned toward them, waiting for a lull before speaking.
“So, Mrs. Beasley. Does your husband make up those signs on the billboard? They’re pretty clever.”
Mrs. Beasley closed her eyes for a moment as if gathering strength. “Yes, he does. He’s got a real talent for it, doesn’t he? But he’s having the most dreadful time right now coming up with a new one. It’s like writer’s block or something, because he hasn’t been inspired enough to change the sign in over three weeks and people are beginning to talk.” Quietly she added, “And that’s after Miss Lena donated the new lit sign, too, so people are really paying attention to it.” Pressing a linen handkerchief to her lips, she said, “It’s dreadful.”
Suzanne wasn’t sure if she should laugh or offer condolences. Instead, she said, “Well, why don’t we brainstorm a few ideas and see if the reverend likes any of them?”