“What’s so funny?” she asked quizzically, her eyebrows pinched together as a smile lifted her raspberry lips.
“Ah, it’s nothing. What’re you doing out here?”
She smiled, showing her white teeth, but her hands intertwined, her fingers going in circles over each other. “I wanted to talk to you, since we didn’t get a chance last night.”
I couldn’t explain why, but I liked her immediately. I was fine with her last night, but we’d spoken for only moments, so I didn’t have time to form an opinion. Now my instincts were telling me she was a good person.
“Then let’s talk,” I said, scooting back to the ramparts and hopping on one of the merlons. “I’ll admit, I’m curious to learn more about you. Sam is picky about who he trusts, so you must be very special.”
Raven laughed, but it was heavy with insecurity. “I’m not special. Duran wanted nothing to do with me when we first met, but because of Magnus, he had no choice.”
I patted the wall next to me. “I want to hear your version of the story. Tell me everything about you.”
She nodded and came to rest beside me before opening up and speaking.
A couple hours later, the sun had gone down, and Raven came to the end of her story.
“And once I realized it was him, I just couldn’t stop myself, and I kissed him. I’m sorry.”
I burst out laughing, and for the first time in hours, I wasn’t burdened by recent events. I could just laugh, and it was wonderous.
“You have a really nice laugh,” Raven said, smiling. “But still I shouldn’t have kissed your husband. It was wrong of me.”
“Don’t be. Morrigan knows, he wouldn’t have kissed you first. I’m grateful actually.”
She gave me a blank stare. “Why?”
“Because of Sam’s past. I don’t know everything. There are still parts of his life that he keeps to himself, but he’s lived a rough life, and it’s made him cold, hard to trust. I think my coming into his life helped, but I was worried our time apart would send him back into his shell. But clearly my fears were unfounded, so thank you, Raven.”
“Even if I’m in love with him?”
I kicked out my feet and jumped down from the battlement, landing softly. “Is it love?”
She started to answer but paused, her fingers gripping the stone. “No. Well, maybe…no, it’s not love, not yet, but I think it could be eventually. It certainly hasn’t been an easy relationship between us, but even though we’ve only known each other a short while, I feel like I’ve known him my entire life.”
“He has that effect. Really, I’ve only known him a few months, but I’ve seen so much more of his life than he could tell me. It’s what immediately made me fall for him. I got to see the unfiltered version of Sam, who he really is rather than who he thinks he is.
“He’s a hard man, but only on himself. He just needed someone to love who loved him in return.”
I leaned back against the stone. “I have no issue with you being with him. Goddess knows I don’t have a right to dictate who he loves. He cares for you; whether he’ll admit it or not is a different matter. But I’ve seen the way he looks at you. It’s similar to the way he looks at me.”
Raven paused, her eyes hopeful. “Having been around Aliria, I was sure that you wouldn’t mind, but I didn’t want to get my hopes up.”
I smiled at her, despite her bringing up my mother. I wouldn’t worry about that now. “I’m fine with it, but if you’re not completely sure about him, I won’t let you anywhere near him. Do you understand?”
Raven nodded. “I am. I’m sure that I don’t want to leave him. I don’t want to go back to my old life. I want to stay here with him.”
“And me?” I asked, picking up a small stone that had chipped form the wall. “It would eventually be a relationship with the three of us. Are you okay with that?”
“Um, we’ve only just met, but I can see us being really close friends…but romantically…just. Just give me some time on that, okay?”
I smiled at her, and she returned it. Her crimson eyes lit up and her nose crinkled as she gave me a big smile. “We certainly have time.”
Raven jumped down after me, and standing next to her I realized something. Two somethings.
“You’re taller than me,” I grumbled. “And just look at your chest. That’s not fair.”
She glanced down at her perfect breasts and chuckled. “They’re actually not as fun to have as you’d think. Especially with my hollow bones. They cause my back no end of strain.”
I pursed my lips, not entirely convinced, but at seeing my sour expression Raven laughed, and I couldn’t keep a smile off my face.
“C’mon. There’s something you need to do,” I said and offered her my hand.
She took my hand without question, but after walking back inside and down the castle’s long stone hallways, she did get curious.
“So where are you taking me?”
“To see Sam.”
“Oh.”
We wound our way through the castle’s three levels and stopped just outside Sam’s room. I knocked, which felt silly, but I also didn’t want to barge in and spring this on him.
He opened the door a moment later. He’d changed clothes. He wore a dull emerald tunic with three buttons at his chest and a pair of black trousers. His bright copper hair hung down to his collar, and he had a brush in hand. He scrunched his eyes together and scratched his clean-shaven face at the sight.
“Eris?” He looked up. “And Raven. This should be good. Well, come in, both of you.”
He stepped aside, and I let Raven’s hand drop, my heart beating faster as I picked at my nails, trying to work up the nerve for the conversation I’d been meaning to have since Sam returned.
“We need to talk,” I said and went to sit on the bed.
Sam chuckled at that. “Feels like we’ve done nothing but talk since I got back, and all of it bad news. I’m guessing from your expression it’s more of the same, so let me have it.”
“I broke your trust.”
His face darkened, and his half grin slipped into a grimace. “You did, but I also forgave you for it.”
He couldn’t stop the emotions that welled in his heart and slipped through our connection. He was conflicted by so many different emotions that I couldn’t read them well; they flowed and mixed and churned chaotically inside his heart. You say as much, but your heart can’t lie to me. You haven’t truly forgiven me. I wanted nothing more than to fix what I’d broken, but there was nothing I could do.
I’d broken his trust, and I had to face the consequences of that.
“You said so, but you haven’t not in your heart.”
Sam went over to his nightstand and reached for his crystal decanter. He had it in hand when he looked at it and stopped himself.
He set it down and turned to me. “Maybe you’re right, but you were right about everything else too. You were very clear about your preference for bringing others into our relationship from the beginning. I think Reina took advantage of you when you were weak after having been stabbed. That’s not exactly your fault.”
“I still broke your trust. I knew you wouldn’t have approved, but I slept with her anyway. I’m sorry.”
He ran his hands through his hair and tied it all back with precise, practiced motions. “You’re right, I wouldn’t have approved. Don’t approve. But that’s me putting my human ideals on you. You said it last night. You’re not human, Eris. It’s not fair of me to expect you to conform to a different species’ ideals just because I can’t be a little more open-minded.”
I couldn’t help it. I laughed, giggling with a wide smile on my face. It was in such conflict with the heavy atmosphere a second ago, but I couldn’t help myself. Sam looked at me like I’d gone insane, but his frown faded, and his eyes lit up once more.
“What?” he asked incredulously.
“You’ve changed, my bonded. She’s been a good influence for you. The you I me
t when I first came out of my prison would’ve never said those words. You’d have stormed off in rage and likely marched to the Darkwoods yourself and attacked Reina.
“I’ll always love you no matter what, but I was right about Raven. She’s good for you, for us.”
He rubbed the back of his neck and looked up at Raven with warmth in his eyes. “She’s all right, I guess.”
Raven laughed. “You see what I had to put up with?”
I hopped off the bed and went over to Sam. He let me pull him down in a kiss, and his lips tasted of forgiveness. I’d hurt him; however much as he’d gotten over it to forgive me didn’t change that I’d hurt the person I loved more than anyone else.
It wouldn’t make up for what I did, but I had an idea that might help smooth things out.
“I love you, Sam. But I can’t take back that I hurt you. And I’m truly sorry for that.”
He smiled and nodded. “Still love you, though. That will never change.”
“I know, but I think I have a way to not exactly make up for it, but for you to balance the scales. It’s the only thing I can think of that might come close to making up for it.”
He caught my meaning and looked over to Raven. His eyes went wide. “You can’t mean what I think you mean─”
“Yep, consider it an order from your queen, my one and only knight.”
I kissed him once more on the lips and turned, giving Raven a smile as I left.
Chapter 25 - Uncertainty
Sampson
“So,” I said, stretching out the syllable as Eris shut the door behind her. “I’m not sure what to do here.”
That brought a smile to Raven’s lips. “Well, I think Eris wants us to fuck.”
“No, I got that part loud and clear,” I said as I walked over to the edge of my bed and sat, staring up at Raven.
“What? You don’t want to?”
I let out a snort. “Not that simple. I mean, I like you and you’re beautiful, but this isn’t me…it wasn’t supposed to be me.”
Raven sauntered over, and I was all too aware how well her tight-fitting clothes accentuated the curve of her hips and pulled taut over her bust. She sat down next to me and set her hand next to mine, palm up. An invitation.
“Talk to me, D. Forget Eris for a moment and what we’re supposed to be doing here, and just talk to me like we did back in Aldrust.”
She wasn’t wrong. I was always in my head, and despite that, she could get me to open up. I took her hand and ran my fingertips over her nails. “I wasn’t supposed to fall in love. I worked for years, over a decade, putting walls up so people wouldn’t get close to me, and so I couldn’t get hurt if I lost them.
“But it didn’t work. Maybe it never worked from the beginning. I found friends to care about, and then I found Eris. She was everything I didn’t know I needed, and I found myself opening up to people again.”
“And that’s a bad thing?”
“Of course it is. I have people in my life that I care about, that I can’t lose. It would break me. Eris isn’t like me…you’re not like me. You don’t get a second chance at life like I do.”
“So what?” she asked, her eyes darkened. “Loving or not loving us won’t change the number of lives we get. We only have one, so why not make the most of it, so that even if we die, you don’t regret what could’ve been.”
Raven shifted on the bed, scooting closer to me before her hands shoved me back. She wrapped her leg around me and sat straddled atop me.
“A week ago, my world made sense. I hated it, hated every second of it, but I understood it. Then I was paired with you, and from the beginning I never knew how to act around you. You hated me for what I was, and I, too, understood that, because I hated what I was, what I’d given up for my revenge. And if we’d have left it that, my life wouldn’t be so confusing right now, but you didn’t. In the rare moments when you let your guard down and forgot that you were supposed to hate me, you showed me the real you underneath it all. I liked that man. He was funny, and kind in a world that could be so cruel.
“I like the you that you keep hidden away, and since we’ve been here, it’s like night and day.” She poked my chest hard. “This is the you that I like, the you that I want to get to know, so don’t you dare go anywhere.”
Raven leaned down, our faces an inch apart. Her long black hair fell across her cheeks to lie across my copper strands, and her breath brought sweetness to my nose. “Now, I’m going to kiss you, unless you stop me.”
She started to move, edging her lips closer to mine. I brought my hand to clasp around her throat in pure reaction. Raven sucked in a breath. Her eyes dropped, holding sadness and longing in them.
No, don’t look at me like that. I couldn’t take it.
I eased my grip on her neck but didn’t pull back. I slid my hand up to cup her cheek, my fingers resting along her jawline. With a push of my left hand, I sat up and pressed my forehead to hers, my fingers running over her cheek.
“I…I don’t─”
“Kiss me, Sam.”
There was no fight left in me, and my lips met hers as my arms slid around her.
Her mouth welcomed mine as she gripped the base of my neck and pulled me tight against her. I answered her embrace and opened my mouth, letting her warm tongue caress my teeth and tease my lips.
Raven was light as I took her in my arms, my hands resting comfortably on her shapely rear. My hands molded around her as firm muscle shifted when she wrapped her legs around my waist. She shimmied her hips roughly against the bulge in my trousers and broke the kiss, letting a moan escape as she ground her hips into me.
“Gods, it’s been too long,” she said breathlessly.
She leaned heavily on my shoulders and pushed me back to the bed just as she brought her lips against my cheek, pressing softly as she trailed toward my ear. Her tongue licked my lobe just before her mouth closed around it as she bit down, nibbling at my ear.
Her hot breath tickled my skin and only increased as she kept undulating her hips. “There’ll be time for sweet and passionate later, but right now, I want you to fuck me. Rough, messy. Can you do that to me?” she purred, her voice dripped with lust.
I was so enraptured by her voice, by her hips, that if she’d asked me to murder someone I’d have done so gleefully.
I didn’t speak, simply moved my hands from her ass to her lower back. In one single motion, I gripped her black shirt and removed it, tossing it aside.
Raven trailed a finger from my cheekbone to my chin, smiling as she propped herself back on her hands, giving me an unobstructed view. Her alabaster skin glistened with a light sheen of sweat that ebbed and flowed in the candlelight. I finally gave in and drank in the perfection of her full breasts. Her soft pink nipples stood pronounced, begging to be touched.
I caressed up her sternum and slid between the rise of her bust, my fingers assured as I slid over to her nipple. Her breast welcomed me, and I rolled my finger around the tip before squeezing hard.
Raven spasmed, releasing a heavy moan as her hand ran rough through my hair. With a flash of regret, I pulled my hand back and picked her up and turned over, lowering her to the bed. I leaned over her, placing a single kiss on each breast before I moved to her neck and pressed my lips to the base of her throat.
“How rough do you want it?”
“Hard, make it hurt.”
“With pleasure.”
Do not show me her memories.
“As you wish.”
The Aspect took hold of my mind and guided my actions. My teeth poised at her flesh, I flicked out my tongue before tearing through and drinking a liquid sweeter than any wine. Her blood rushed hot into my mouth, and I swallowed a mouthful.
She groaned when my teeth broke through her skin, digging her nails into the meat of my bicep. To hurt and be hurt in return—I was more than fine with a little pain. Just as much of a masochist as she was.
I licked at her blood, my saliva closing her nascent
wound and erasing the little ruby red drop that slid over her pale beauty to rest in the hollow of her collarbone. Her blood hit me harder than the best whisky, and the Aspect made its will known. It wanted more, and so did I.
“Give me your finger,” I said.
Her arm rose languidly from the crimson sheets, and she smirked at me as she gave me a very specific finger.
I smiled. “In due time, Raven. But I need a claw.”
Her hand twisted, elongated and a single black talon protruded from her index finger. “Better?”
“Perfect.”
I took her hand in mine and wielded her claw like a scalpel. I brought it down between her breasts, eliciting a moan mixed with pain and pleasure. Blood welled from the cut, and I licked up her chest, closing the wound and swallowing every last drop of her wine.
“Oh, fuck. That’s it, again. Harder.”
I leaned over and kissed her, taking her lip between my teeth and biting, spilling her life afresh, over and over again. She raked her nails down my back, slicing shallow wounds across my shoulder blades, and I grunted in surprise, playing my tongue over hers.
After we broke away, she slid from under me and smirked at me. “I can’t hold back any longer. I need you. Now.” Raven unbuttoned her cotton pants and kicked them off in a frenzy.
She spread her legs for me, baring her soaking wet opening. She kept herself trimmed; only a thin tuft of black hair covered her otherwise pristine skin.
“What are you waiting for?” she said, pointing at my own trousers. “Off.”
A laugh slipped through my teeth as I grinned at her. “Yes, ma’am.”
My pants hit the ground, and Raven crooked a finger toward me, beckoning me to come to her. I did so willingly. I knelt over her, my girth pressed against her wetness, teasing the entrance. With a jerk, Raven wrapped her arms around my neck and thrust her hips toward me, sliding all the way to the base in one single, fluid motion.
She tensed and let slip a moan of delight as she clung to me for a split second. As she rode the initial high of pleasure, she looked at me with eyes so dripping with satisfaction, I nearly lost my composure and burst then and there.
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