by M. J. Haag
“Yes. It won’t take long.”
I hesitated, feeling a nervous flutter in my stomach. Yes, I was ready to emotionally go all in with Tor, but the physical aspect did still worry me a bit.
“Are we going to have sex?” I asked, needing to know.
“No.”
I exhaled my tension and managed a shaky smile. “Okay.”
He moved enough so I could stand, then he watched me with hungry eyes as I crossed to the bathroom. When I glanced back, it was my turn to watch him as he stood, completely naked. I knew for a fact he’d gone to bed with shorts on.
His cock jutted outward, its impressive girth and length a thing of legends. Or maybe nightmares. I wasn’t sure yet.
“No sex, June,” he repeated, his knowing gaze taking everything in.
When the water was warm and we both stood in the steam, he handed me the soap.
“Will you wash me?”
Even as my soapy hands traveled over his impressive chest and abs, my thoughts were on the one place I feared to touch. The one place I knew he really wanted my hands.
Before I could go there, he turned so I could wash his back and groaned when washing changed into a back rub.
“My turn,” he said, facing me suddenly.
I dodged his grab for the soap and shook my head.
“Wasn’t the whole point of this so I’d be less afraid of your size?”
He hesitantly nodded.
“Then I missed an important part on your front.”
He studied my face for a moment then nodded. I surrendered the soap, knowing both lathered hands would be needed, and I looked down at his thick shaft. His free hand twitched, and I knew he was fighting the urge to cover himself. Not wanting him to worry, I slicked my palm down his length. As I’d suspected, I couldn’t close my hand around him. I added the second one.
A groan echoed in the shower, and his hand closed over mine, squeezing them, showing me the pressure he wanted and the speed. Letting him lead, I glanced up at him. His eyes were closed, and his head tipped back. The expression on his face was pure bliss. Because of me. Smiling, I leaned in and licked his nipple.
He grunted and jerked in my hands. The hot spray coating my stomach took me by surprise, but not in a bad way.
“June,” he rasped, shuttling my hands along his length even faster.
I rode out his release with him, placing small kisses on his chest until he freed my hands and quietly washed my front.
He couldn’t seem to stop touching me. Not when I dressed. Not when he made my breakfast for me. Not when I put on my jacket. Honestly, I loved all the contact. Touch was very much my love language.
Before opening the door, he pulled me close and kissed me hard.
“You will be safe today,” he said, setting his forehead against mine.
“You too, okay?”
He grunted and took my hand. We strolled through dawn’s early light to meet up with the rest of the group at the wall.
There was a new face in the gathered Tolerance crew. He smiled and gave us a wave as we approached.
“Hi, June. I’m Garrett. I’ll be your spy handy-man today.”
“My what?”
“I’m the one who will hook up all the cameras in the house to capture any evidence of break ins so Matt has what he needs to start giving people the boot.”
“How do you—”
“Know? Word travels here. Mya, Emily, and Angel have been keeping me posted. Angel knew I had a few cameras and whatnot that could do the trick.”
He pivoted slightly and pointed to the backpack on his shoulder.
“I’ll have a laptop you’ll need to keep plugged in and use every day to download the footage from all the devices. It’ll be a manual process, obviously, but it’s a decent computer and shouldn’t take too long.” He glanced at the duffle Tor was carrying in his free hand. “Looks like you’re all set then?”
“I am,” I said.
Garrett nodded and glanced at Ryan, who was speaking quietly with Drav, Mya’s husband. The pair noticed our attention and headed toward us. Drav’s eyes locked on my hand holding Tor’s before lifting to my face. He looked almost angry.
“Spit and harsh words do not bother us, June,” he said. “It would be safer for you to stay here and let Matt handle the people in Tenacity on his own.”
“Safer for me, maybe, but how many more people will be hurt if I choose to hide instead of face the problem. Matt needs our help. Emily is working hard to bring the two communities together. That won’t ever happen if things don’t drastically change.”
His gaze shifted to Tor.
“Watch after her closely, my brother. She is too precious to lose.”
“With my life,” Tor said, releasing my hand and pulling me closer to his side.
“Uh, how about no lives lost? We’re smart. This is a good plan. We don’t want anyone to get hurt.”
Drav blinked at me and glanced at Ryan. Ryan grinned.
“He wouldn’t mind seeing a few people hurt if it meant keeping women and children safe. But, yes, we all hope that no one’s unnecessarily hurt. How do you want to play this out?”
“Business as usual. After you talk to Matt, I’m going to request the house back on the premise that the freezer of my host is being cleaned out because of the freeloaders at Tenacity. Matt told one of the supply runners yesterday that he’ll never take away the shares of the people who go out, so I’m going to use that as my angle. I’d rather get my own food than carry people too lazy to do their share.”
Ryan nodded.
“Okay. Then, if you’re set, we’re ready too. And if you need something, we’re here to support you in any way possible. There will always be a fey with you.”
“I’m not worried.” I glanced at Tor. “I’m in good hands.”
After that, Tor carried me to Tenacity. The bag and all its canned goods weighed on my stomach, but I didn’t complain. Everything we were doing was nothing compared to what I’d already survived. I needed to do my part to make our world a better place. I wanted a brighter future than the one I saw for myself after those men hurt Adam.
I gazed up at Tor and set my hand on his throat, toying with his skin. He glanced down at me.
“It’s not easy running when I’m hard,” he said.
I burst out laughing.
“Kiss me before we reach the wall. Then have Hasten take me over while you walk it off.”
He did as I asked, and Hasten shyly grinned at me when Tor said he needed Hasten to take over or Tor’s cock might catch on the wall when he tries to jump. Although I’d done my best not to compare Adam and Tor, in that moment, one aspect stood out in complete clarity. Adam hadn’t protected me; he’d sheltered me. And by sheltering me from everything, I’d missed out on so much. I enjoyed Tor’s honesty. While it might seem crude to someone who didn’t know him, I knew better. He was being himself. A true version of himself not stifled by society’s expectations.
That thought triggered another.
He wasn’t stifled yet. But if the people in Tenacity had their way, he slowly would be. All the fey would. They’d need to conform to human ideals in order to obtain the one thing they wanted most. A companion. And there was nothing wrong with them the way they were. In fact, I found their openness and slight naivety far preferable to what most human men offered.
Hasten set me down inside the wall and handed me the duffle bag as I scanned the area. The typical meeting place, near Tenacity’s supply shed turned soup kitchen, was crowded with people. Most of whom were lined up already, hoping for a handout. Those in line were doing their best not to make eye contact with the few who were grouped together to go outside the wall. That small group did seem a little miffed at the people standing in line. But, their display of disgust was nothing that I didn’t feel myself. However, just beyond both groups, a gathering of angry men stood, their arms crossed as they glared at everyone.
The tension was palpable.
“I’ll wait here for you,” Hasten said softly. “Good luck.”
I knew better than to flash him a grateful smile with so many onlookers. A tempest of emotions whirled within me as I started toward Ryan and Matt, who looked harried despite the early hour.
“…chance she might set up earlier than yesterday?” Matt asked.
“I don’t know. I’m sorry. All I can tell you is that I didn’t see her gathering any supplies when we left.”
I cleared my throat loudly, the most universally rude way to interrupt a conversation in progress. Both men glanced at me. Matt’s gaze flicked to my bag then back to my face.
“Something I can help you with?” he asked.
“I want to talk about moving back into the house I previously used here.”
“There’s nothing to talk about it. It’s yours if you want it.”
“I want it, but I’m tired of making all the sacrifices wherever I go. The food from the bunker, meant to feed me for months, was taken away and split up without my consent. I thought it would be better in Tolerance, but now all the meat’s going here for handouts. I’m done busting my back for freeloaders and deadbeats. I want to keep what I find when I go out there. It’s not like it’s needed for splitting when everyone staying behind gets a free meal.”
The people already committed to doing this supply run heard me easily.
“We’re the ones risking our lives,” Bram, the guy from yesterday said. “I don’t mind sharing. But I’d like more of a say in what and how much.”
Matt’s eyes swept over us and then the malcontent group not far away.
“Everyone is upset about the scarcity of food. Now might not be the best time to—”
“If there’s no incentive for risking our lives to gather food supplies, then what’s the point of going out at all? We can all sit on our asses and watch each other starve,” I said.
Matt shot me a look, and I shrugged.
“Why should I work my ass off and have nothing to show for it?”
“Fine. However much you can carry, you can take back to your homes to share with your people however you see fit.”
That news made a lot of people happy. A few standing in line even left the line to join those waiting to go out. Meanwhile, the haters smirked. I understood very well why. People who hoarded got robbed and beaten. Cold anger clenched in my stomach, and I knew I’d need to make myself a bigger target than anyone else.
“That’s perfect since I live alone,” I said, just loud enough to be heard by those nearest. “Would you mind holding onto my things until I get back?”
Matt accepted my bag from me, and I turned my back on all of them. Tor was watching from near the wall. Seeing him there lightened the burden. As much as I wanted to go to him, I went to Hasten.
The announcement that we could keep more of what we found changed things a little. To keep up appearances that I was cutting ties with Tolerance, I rode in the back of one of the trucks on the way to wherever Ryan had selected. There was a notable tone of hope and worry from the others. And none of the humans stayed in the trucks when we pulled up to the subdivision.
I worked with my usual group, taking care not to show any familiarity when we were in the open. We worked quietly and quickly inside the houses. Our group wasn’t the only one busting ass. There were a lot more supplies sent back to fill up the truck. So much so that some of us Tenacity folks had to ride in the cabs of the trucks.
Bram, a woman, myself, and Richard were squeezed into one.
“Heard you’re leaving Tolerance,” Richard said. “Can I ask why?”
I wasn’t sure if it was a sincere, or staged question, but considering our company, there was only one answer I could give him.
“I moved to Tolerance because I thought it would be safer. The fey I was staying with was nice and had a freezer full of meat. Then Adam broke up with me. The fey started acting a little too interested. And now the meat’s going to Tenacity. There’s no reason to stay and every reason to move if Matt holds true to his word. I’m tired of worrying where my next meal will come from.”
“Same,” Bram said. He looked at the other woman. “What about you?”
“I like food as much as the next person,” she said quietly. There was something about her that seemed off. She’d been quiet in the back of the truck, too, but had willingly gone with her group of fey and returned with a decent take.
“How many people do you two live with?” I asked.
“Too many,” Bram said. “I’m not sure if you’re lucky or screwed living by yourself.”
“I’ll go with lucky,” I said.
The woman glanced at me, her gaze flickering with pity before Bram glanced at her for her answer.
“Too many, just like you.” She looked out the window once more and didn’t join the conversation after that.
When we returned to Tenacity, there was the same bevy of activity as the prior day. Rather than going inside, I stayed by the trucks and started tucking the food I’d found into my jacket. After it was full, I loaded up a tote with everything possible, avoiding the heavier canned goods. I wanted it to look like I had a lot and succeeded, even though my arms strained.
No one protested as I left with my haul, but I felt every eye on me as I walked down the street.
Matt called my name, and I paused, watching him jog my way.
“Since it looks like you have your arms full, give me a minute to grab your bag, and I’ll follow you.”
“She has food in her jacket,” one of the haters said angrily.
I laughed.
“Thank you, Captain Obvious. He said as much as I can carry.”
The man’s gaze hardened on me and flicked to Matt.
“Things are getting out of hand here real fast, Matt. People are starting to wonder if you’re trying to lead us into a better future, signing us up for death, or worse, bitches to those fucking devils.”
I snorted.
“Are you actually saying death is better than getting help? You’re a complete dumbass.” I looked at Matt. “This is getting heavy.”
His gaze flicked between the hater and me before he ran his hand through his hair.
“I’ll be right back,” he muttered.
The guy continued to stare at me. “If you need help with that, I’d be happy to carry it for half.”
“No chance in hell. If you want food, get your lazy ass in one of those trucks.”
“So those fey can lead us to our deaths? Not happening.”
“Do I look dead to you?”
Something mean and ugly flickered in the depths of his eyes before his gaze shifted to the wall.
“They sure do have a fascination with women,” he said. “I’m surprised they let you go.”
I followed his gaze and saw more than half the fey watching us. Tor wasn’t among them. Hopefully, he was already making his way to the house. I’d need to talk to him about letting the others know not to be so obvious, though.
“They don’t run a prison camp over there.”
He made a speculative noise and glanced at my food again.
“Eyes up here,” I said. “Unless you’re casing my haul.”
He smirked.
“Not at all. You’re the girl who was with that guy who was beaten, aren’t you? How’s he doing?”
“Don’t know,” I said with an indifferent shrug I didn’t feel. “We’re not together anymore.”
“That’s a shame.”
“Why’s that?”
“He could carry more.”
A heavy weight lifted from my shoulders at what he was insinuating, and I did my best to look intimidated when he smiled coldly at me. I swallowed hard, playing along. Let him think he had his easy prey. This time, I wouldn’t be the one held down and terrorized.
His smirk disappeared a moment later, and he nodded to Matt as he rejoined me.
“You ready?” Matt asked.
“Yes,” I whispered.
The man grinned, t
hinking he had me cowed. I curled my shoulders, willing to play the part.
For now.
Chapter Twenty
As soon as the door shut behind us, Matt turned on me, worry in his eyes.
“They’ve been quiet all day, just watching. I don’t like this. I’ve made sure to post guards that I trust on the wall with a vantage point of this house. I’d feel a lot better if—”
“June is safe,” Tor said, calling our attention to where he sat on the steps leading upstairs.
Matt looked truly conflicted when he glanced at me.
“I’ll be fine,” I said. “I trust Tor and the fey, and Garrett said he was going to set up cameras here while I was gone.”
“He did,” Matt said, pulling out a piece of paper and unzipping my duffle to hand me a laptop. “He didn’t want to leave this in the house without anyone here to watch it. These are the locations of the cameras and how to download the data. If you have any questions, come to me and I can radio over to Mya.”
I took the paper and the laptop from him.
“You’re going to be the most vulnerable when you leave the house,” he said.
“We will watch over her,” Tor said. “We can move without being seen when we wish it. Your guards will not be the only ones watching the house.”
“Who was the guy I was talking to just now?” I asked.
“Nat. He’s one of the main troublemakers.”
“One of or the main one?”
“It’s hard to tell. He’s the most vocal. Why?”
“Just something he said. I wanted to make sure he was one of the names in red.”
“He is. His wife’s name isn’t on the list, though. Shelby was on the supply run today. She’s quiet. Doesn’t cause any trouble.”
I described the woman in the truck with me, and Matt nodded.
“Sounds like her.”
“How often does she go on supply runs?”
“Today was the first time in a long while. She joined the group after I changed the rule. I really hope that wasn’t a mistake. Every person on today’s run carried away enough food to tempt another break-in. And they don’t have fey watching over them.”
“No, but they don’t live alone, either. Two or three people held me down when Adam and I were robbed. And it would have taken more than one person to overcome Adam. We’re talking five to six people against how many in a full house?”