by Katie Ashley
“I had no idea you were so particular,” I replied.
Strumming the guitar, Eli seemed to tune us out for the moment. Almost instantly I recognized it as Kenny Chesney’s You and Tequila. For a moment, I was transported away from the dressing room and back to my time in Savannah. Any time the word “tequila” was mentioned, I always thought of Rhys and our night together. It was hard to believe out of all of the songs out there, Eli would choose this one to play.
As I started humming along, I bounced Jax in my arms. When Eli abruptly stopped and the guitar strings made a screeching noise, I jumped. “You,” he said, pointing a finger at me.
“Me what?”
“You could totally sing duet with me on this song.”
I widened my eyes in horror. “No, I couldn’t.”
“Oh come on, I’m dying to do this song live, but Abby refuses to sing it with me.”
Abby laughed. “Call me crazy, but for some reason, it seems a little odd to be singing a duet with your brother. I told you we could totally do it with you as a solo.”
When I giggled, Eli scowled at us. “I have one simple request, and I can’t make it happen.”
Taking pity on him, I eased down on the couch beside him. Once I adjusted Jax on my lap, I smiled at Eli. “I’ll sing it with you now, but only so you can practice it to do it alone. I’m not a professional singer, and I’m certainly not going in front of thousands and thousands of people to sing.”
“You really will?”
I nodded. “It doesn’t hurt that Jax and Jules love to be sung to, and it’s almost their nap time.”
Eli grinned at me. “I’ll take it any way you’ll give it to me.” Scooting closer to me on the couch, he adjusted the guitar on his knees. After he turned toward me, he then began strumming the opening chords to the song again. It was just pure dumb luck that I even knew the lyrics to the song. I hadn’t always been a huge country music fan. It had just grown on me after Jake and Abby got together. I’d tagged along with them to the CMAs, and after meeting Kenny Chesney in person, I started listening to his music.
When Eli started singing the first verse, Jax eased back to lie against my chest. Just like Abby, Eli had an amazing voice. It almost wasn’t fair that he was so good-looking and so talented. Not to mention he had such an endearing personality. He really was a triple threat who was going to make some woman very happy someday—I just hated that it most likely wasn’t going to be me.
As we got to the chorus, he winked at me. And then I chimed in with him. “You and tequila make me crazy—run like poison in my blood. One more night could kill me, baby…”
Pausing in his singing, Eli closed his eyes in mock ecstasy. “We sound amazing!” he cried, enthusiastically over the music.
Abby and I laughed at his over-the-top comment. In my arms, Jax craned his tiny neck up to watch me as I sang. I smiled down at him, and when I finished my part, I kissed the strands of his dark hair. When we started the second verse, I came in whenever the original singer, Grace Potter, usually sang.
Halfway through, I glanced up to see Rhys framed in the doorway. One hand was braced on the doorframe and his knee was bent as if he froze in mid-walk. His eyes bore into mine, and I felt a rush of warmth singe my cheeks at the intensity of his stare. For a moment, I didn’t bother tearing my eyes away from his. Instead, I was too interested in surveying the range of emotions playing out on his face. Curiosity at why I was singing with Eli was there along with actual interest and enjoyment in hearing me sing again. My heartbeat ratcheted up a few notches at what I hoped was the sight of jealousy seething below the surface as he watched Eli directing his singing to me. There was also acknowledgement of the importance of the subject matter of the song.
In his mind, tequila had been our undoing back in Savannah. While it had somewhat attributed to my uninhibited behavior with him, it certainly didn’t make me do anything I hadn’t dreamed of doing for many years. Regardless of what warped ideas he had in his mind about why we couldn’t be together, I knew what the truth was. He was just too damn scared to admit that he cared for me. He feared Jake, but more than anything else, he feared giving himself to someone else. He’d been burned by those who were supposed to love him, so he had no idea how to actually love someone else without getting hurt.
Rhys’s brows shot far into his hairline when Eli sang the line, “When it comes to you, oh the damage I could do. It’s always your favorite sins that do you in.” His free hand came up to rub along his jawline before moving back to grip the strands of his hair at the base of his neck.
I could only imagine why the line was bothering him so much. It was the epitome of the impasse we found ourselves at. And so far, he had managed to do a lot of damage to my heart and to the relationship we’d once had.
Part of me ached to go to Rhys. I wanted to wrap my arms around his neck and tell him that it could all be all right if he would just let go with his preconceived worries. But the other part of me ached to go over and throttle him for being such a stubborn bastard.
At the end of the song, I brought Jax’s hands together to clap. He giggled and bounced in my lap. “You liked that, huh?”
As Jax squealed his approval, Eli said, “I think he’s giving his seal of approval that a duet needs to happen between the two of us.”
“A duet?” Jake’s voice bellowed from the doorway. His eyes narrowed at the sight of Eli and I so close together on the couch. “What are you guys doing?”
“Just messing around,” I replied.
Knocking Rhys out of the way, Jake then crossed the room in two long strides to stand in front of Eli and me. At the sight of his dad, Jax went crazy lifting his arms and reaching for Jake, so Jake picked him up. He then appeared almost comical with a menacing look on his face directed at Eli as he bounced his baby boy in his arms.
“You’ve been holding out on us, Jake,” Eli said.
“What do you mean?” he asked, glancing between me and Eli.
“Allison can seriously sing.”
Jake glowered at him. “Yeah, she’s got a good voice. What about it?”
Eli rolled his eyes. “You should be maximizing her talent by putting her out on the stage.”
I opened my mouth to argue with him when Rhys piped up behind Jake. “Allison wouldn’t want that. While she might like to sing at low-key places, she would never, ever want to perform to thousands of people. Besides, her talents are far better served with fashion design.”
Even if I had been forced to, I couldn’t have taken my eyes off of Rhys in that moment for anything in the world. He was constantly throwing me emotional curve balls, and this was yet another one. With everyone peering at him in surprise, Rhys shrugged. “It’s the truth.”
Patting Eli on the leg, I said, “Rhys is right. I’m not a performer.”
“Except at Saffie’s,” Rhys replied, a smile playing at the corners of his lips.
Jake’s dark brows furrowed. “What the hell is Saffie’s?”
Rhys’s wide-eyed, horrified look told me he hadn’t meant to out me. I’m sure after all these months, he figured I had told Jake. Exhaling a long breath, I said, “Just a lesbian night club I was singing at once a week back in Savannah.”
Shifting Jax to his other hip, Jake then appeared almost comical with a questioning expression on his face. “Allie-Bean, is there something you need to tell me?”
“Huh?”
Jake grimaced. “It doesn’t matter to me one way or the other.” When I continued giving him a blank look, he said, “Do you need to tell me about you being…” He leaned in and lowered his voice. “Gay,” he said, in a whisper.
I busted out laughing. Both Eli and Rhys started laughing along with me. “Jake, I’m not gay. I was just singing at a gay club.”
“Oh,” Jake replied. For a moment, he didn’t appear relieved. In a warped way, I guess it would have been easier for him for me to be gay when we were out on tour with a bunch of horny males. Then his expression changed ov
er to one that was serious big brother protector. “You were underage and singing at a nightclub? I’m pretty sure that Dad and Nancy don’t know about this.”
“They do now. I didn’t tell them at first because I figured they would freak out just like you’re starting to do.”
“You should have seen her Jake. She was amazing,” Rhys said.
Jake’s gaze snapped from mine to Rhys’s. “What the hell, dude? You knew about this?”
Rhys nodded. “I went to one of her shows.”
“And you never thought that maybe I needed to know?”
With a shrug, Rhys replied, “It wasn’t for me to tell.” He glanced over at me. “She’s good. Really good.”
My heartbeat accelerated at his words. I was momentarily distracted by Abby’s hand on my shoulder. “Oh, Allison, I wish we could have seen you.”
“I have it on video,” Rhys said, digging his phone out of his pocket.
“You do?” I asked, my voice choking off with emotion.
“I thought Jake might want to see it one day,” Rhys replied.
“Oh,” I murmured.
Abby squealed with glee and slid in beside Eli on the couch. Jake reluctantly squeezed in beside her. Leaning over the back of the couch, Rhys started playing the video. It was hard processing him being so open about me and my singing. When it came down to it, I couldn’t believe he was sharing anything that connected us and our infamous time in Savannah.
“You sound amazing!” Abby exclaimed.
Warmth filled my cheeks at her compliments. “Thanks.”
Nudging Jake, Abby said, “Doesn’t she sound amazing, babe?”
Jake bobbed his head. “I can’t get over how grown up she looks and sounds.” He glanced over his shoulder at me. “You’re absolutely phenomenal, Allie-Bean.”
Tears stung my eyes at the sincerity of his words. “Thank you.”
“That’s one sexy dress you’re rockin’ there. You look beautiful in red. Love the boots, too,” Eli said, winking at me.
Jake smacked the back of his head. “Ow!” Eli cried.
“Watch what you say to my sister,” Jake muttered through gritted teeth.
“Honestly, Jake, I’m almost twenty-one, not twelve,” I countered.
“You’ll always be my baby sister, even when you’re eighty.”
“And you’re ninety and dead?” Eli questioned.
“Shut up,” Jake replied, which caused me to giggle. Jake then jerked his gaze over his shoulder to Rhys. “Anything else I need to know about that happened when you two were together in Savannah?”
His question caused a shudder to run through me. Rhys threw a quick glance at me before fixing his gaze on Jake. A nervous laugh escaped his lips. “Nothing else besides some touristy stuff I dragged Allison to.”
Jake snickered. “Guess you’re still a history nerd, huh?”
“Yeah, he is,” I quickly replied.
After Jake seemed appeased with our responses, he, Abby, and Eli began to run through the merits of my performance. But I tuned them out. All I could do was stare at Rhys. Even when he met my gaze and held it, I couldn’t look away. I didn’t care what he thought about me staring at him—I enjoyed even the smallest of connections with him. And while my chest clenched with the agony of how I should abandon my feelings for him, I once again wished that somehow or some way things could be different between us.
After leaving Omaha in the night, we pulled into Cheyenne, Wyoming just as the sun had begun to rise outside my window. After grabbing a quick shower, I headed into the kitchen. Outfitted in only his boxer shorts, Jake stood in front of the counter mixing up baby cereal while Abby sat at the table holding the wailing twins. “Morning,” I said, over Jax and Jules’s cries.
“Morning,” Jake mumbled.
Nudging him out of the way with my hip, I said, “Here. I’ll finish this. You get their bottles.”
Jake nodded and then pivoted over to the fridge. I’d prepared their bottles for several feedings the night before. He popped them in the microwave, and when it dinged off, he sprinkled formula on his arm to test it. As I was sucking up the cereal into one of the feeders, Jake was taking Jules into his arms and handing Abby a bottle. Once the twins had their formula, they quieted instantly.
I brought the feeders over to the table. “Can you take her, Allie-Bean? I’ve got to get the musical arrangement for the new song from Brayden.”
“Sure.” Jake passed Jules over to me before I eased down at the table. He then hurried back to the bedroom to throw on some clothes. When he returned, he kissed Abby and then each of the twins. After he was gone, Abby and I made small talk as the twins finished their bottles.
As I started bringing the feeder of cereal to Jules’s open and waiting mouth, the faint sound of a strumming guitar drew my attention to the window. I glanced across the table at Abby. “Do you hear that?”
She nodded. “Eli must be practicing pretty loud for it to come through the bus like that.”
Once Jules was sucking heartily, the music continued growing louder and louder. I rose up and peered out the glass. Balancing Jules on one hip, I used my other hand to pull up the blinds and open the window. I gasped at the sight of Eli strolling down the alley between the buses, playing the melody to James Blunt’s You’re Beautiful. When he got in front of the window, he grinned up at me and began to sing. “I saw an angel, of that I’m sure.”
Warmth spread through my cheeks. Just the night before after Jacob’s Ladder’s show, he’d caught me in the dressing room singing along to the song on the radio while giving Jax and Jules their bedtime bottles. Shaking his head in mock disgust, he’d questioned, “Don’t tell me you actually like that shit?”
“Yes, as a matter of fact I do. I like all of his songs. Same Mistake and Goodbye My Lover are some of my favorites, too.”
Eli had rolled his eyes as he plopped down on the sofa next to me. After taking Jax into his arms to help me out, he said, “Blunt’s a mediocre songwriter at best, not to mention a dick who cheats on women.”
Cocking my head, I had countered, “You know an awfully lot about a guy whose music you hate.”
He had shrugged. “I know my music.”
“Whatever,” I had muttered.
“Regardless of the shitty song, I didn’t realize you could sing.”
“A little.”
Eli grinned. “Don’t be modest.”
“Modesty is something your egocentric self might find beneficial,” I teased.
With his free hand, he scratched his chin. “Hmm, I’ll give it some thought.”
Abby had then appeared, and we had started to the bus to get Jax and Jules down to sleep. Now I couldn’t believe Eli was standing before me singing. Pausing in the song, he threw up his arms and cried, “There she is! The beautiful angel who haunts my waking thoughts!” Wagging his eyebrows, he added, “Mmm and maybe some of my naughty dreams.”
I burst out laughing at his declaration. “The only angel I know is your sister and the dog, and I’m not sure why you’re out here singing to her…or having naughty dreams about her. Wait, is it furry Angel you’re hot for because I could get her for you?” At the mention of her name, Angel barked and wagged her tail.
“You’re breaking my heart,” he said.
Abby joined me at the window. “Eli, what in the world are you doing? It’s barely eight a.m.”
Rolling his eyes, Eli replied, “Duh, I’m serenading a beautiful woman.”
I shook my head. “You’ve made your point and made fun of my choice of music. Again. So go on.”
With his shoulders drooping in defeat, Eli started to walk away. Just as I was about to turn away from the window, he started strumming again. “Yes, she caught my eye as we walked on by. She could see from my face that I was flying high." On the flying high bit, he made a loopy looking face.
Jules kicked her legs and giggled. “Your Uncle Eli is pretty funny, huh?”
Her tiny palm patted against my shou
lder almost in time with the music, and even though it was probably way too early, I could already tell she had inherited her parents’ musical genes.
At that moment, the bus door opened, and Jake and Rhys came bounding up the stairs. Jake shot me and Abby a disgusted look. “Would someone mind telling me why my brother-in-law is singing some douche song outside my bus?”
I giggled. “It’s just a joke between us.”
“Us?” Jake repeated, cocking his brows at me.
“What?” I questioned innocently.
Crossing his tattooed arms over his chest, he asked, “Is there an ‘us’ you’d like to tell me about?”
“Get real, Jake,” I muttered, as I swung a now fussy Jules back and forth in my arms.
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Jake demanded.
I narrowed my eyes at him. “It means even if there was something between Eli and me, it’s none of your business.”
“Oh really?”
When I nodded, I caught Rhys’s intense gaze over Jake’s shoulder. He seemed just as interested as Jake was in what was going on between me and Eli. It infuriated me that he acted like he even cared considering the way he had been treating me lately. One minute he completely ignored me, and then the very next he hovered around as if I was his. It was so damn confusing.
As Eli continued with the second verse, Jake groaned. “Enough is enough.”
Choosing to ignore his tirade, I went back to the window and grinned down at Eli. Just as he was about to finish, he started up again. “Eli,” I giggled.
Before I realized what was happening, I saw a flicker of Jake’s black T-shirt out of the corner of my eyes. Then in a flash, he was beside me with a bucket of water. He then proceeded to dump it out the window, sending water crashing all over Eli. “W-What the f-fuck?” Eli sputtered.
“That’ll teach you to sing douche songs to my sister outside my bus window!” Jake replied, through this laughter. Leaning against the kitchen counter, Rhys snickered as well, and it took everything within me not to go over and slap his arrogant face.
Sweeping my free hand to my hip, I demanded, “You two think this is funny?”