by Avelyn Paige
Be good to each other, Darcy, and learn to love again. Life isn’t as sweet without someone to love, and I am leaving you with just that.
I love you.
Brent
P.S.
Please thank Matteo for delivering the first letter for me. I knew he would find it and deliver it when the time was right.
“You okay?” Michael sweetly asks. He stops next to my kneeling form and lays his hand on my shoulder. My tears slow as I reach up and take his hand.
“Yeah, I guess so,” I reply wiping back more tears. “You were right. I did need to come see him.”
“I know it seems weird, but it helps far more than you know. Even if you look like someone who escaped from the loony bin talking to a stone in the ground.”
“It does help,” I mumble “But it also brings back all the painful memories of the past year.”
Michael kneels down onto the ground next to me and takes me into his arms. “Sometimes, the most beautiful things come out of the ashes of destruction, Darcy. We live through the pain as a reminder that each happy day that we are granted on this Earth is something we need to cherish.”
His words break down my control as I cling to him in uncontrollable sobs. He tightens our embrace as I cry until I have no more tears left inside of me. He kisses the top of my head and rubs his hands down my back trying to soothe my emotions. I pull back and look up at the man who’s knelt next to me and realize exactly what Brent was talking about in his letter. Michael has been through far greater hell than I have and here he sits holding me while I cry out my pain and frustrations. He is the piece that holds me together and the man who has walked through the valley of the shadow of death by my side. He is my future, and it’s time for me to let go of Brent’s ghost and cling to Michael.
“Did you read the letter?” he asks just before laying a chaste kiss on my forehead.
“I did.”
“How do you feel after reading it? Better? Did he explain his reasoning to you?”
I sigh as I hand him the letter and watch while his eyes scan the pages. The corner of his mouth ticks upward in a smirk as he reads.
“You could never put one past him, could you?” he asks referencing the bombshell of him knowing about my pregnancy. “He left one for the man you moved on with, you know.”
“He did?” I squeak. “Do you have it with you?”
He smiles as he pulls a folded piece of paper from his pocket and lays it in my hand. He rises from the ground and dusts the dirt off his jeans before turning to walk away, giving me space to read his letter.
To the son of a bitch who’s in love with my wife:
Who am I kidding? I knew it would be you, Raze. I knew from the moment that my expiration date was stamped on my life that you would be the man to put Darcy back together. You needed her just as much as she needed you after I was gone. You were dealt a shitty hand in the romance department and it’s time you finally have something good in your life.
Take care of her and my kids. Give them the life and love they all deserve, and if you don’t, I’ll kick your ass the next I see you.
Jagger
P.S.
Lead the club and keep the goals you had set in mind when you took over for your bastard of an old man. Give our brothers the leader they need and put aside all the petty bullshit of the past. Too many of us have died righting the wrongs and it’s time for peace.
Maybe it’s the sense of knowing that he knew that Michael and I would take care of each after his passing or the love that swells in my heart seeing the sweet side of my badass biker, but a calming peace fills my body.
Leaning forward, I press my lips against the cold stone, giving Brent one last kiss.
“I love you, Brent, and thank you for giving me Michael.”
NINE MONTHS LATER
Today has been a long time coming. The day we finally get both of our families together and celebrate all of our trials and tribulations over the past two years. The loss and pain of our lives has only been compounded by the fact that in the darkness, we found each other. My parents, of course, thought Michael and I were moving way too fast, but trying the dating thing from a distance was never going to be in the cards for us. To make us work, we needed to be with each other, and it only made sense to rip off the Band-Aid and blend our two families together.
I would like to say that it’s been easy, but change never is. The boys were ecstatic to gain two new siblings while Ky and Harley initially bucked at the idea. They were so attached to the memory of their mother that they couldn’t look at me in any other way than being a usurper. It took many months and many nights of being around each other before they finally relented and accepted Michael’s and my relationship. I doubt they’ll ever call me Mom, but I’m okay with that. I may not have given birth to them, but I will raise them as my own just as Michael pledged to do with my kids. Our family may be roughly stitched together and have frayed edges, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
“Are the burgers ready for the grill, darlin’?” Michael asks, popping his head in the patio door of our new home. We decided a few months into our relationship that having two houses associated with so much pain wouldn’t be conducive for a new relationship so instead we bought our own together. It took over two months before we finally found the perfect one. A modest two-story brick home with six bedrooms, a large den for my home business and his, and a spacious yard with a pool for the kids. We paid far more than we should have with not selling our two houses to compensate the purchase, but now it feels more like home than anywhere else.
“Here,” I say, handing him a plate of formed patties. “Is Dad giving you any grief?”
“Nah, darlin’. Mitch has been wrapped up talking to my mom about how us living together without being married is a sin. They’re keeping themselves entertained while your mom fusses after Roxie.”
“You’re kidding about Dad, right? I’m not exactly a virginal debutante anymore.”
“He worries about his daughter, darlin’. They grew up in a far more traditional time than we have,” he says with a wink. “I mean, if he knew what we did on that patio table the night we bought this place, he’d probably have burned it by now.”
I smack his arm and he just chuckles as he walks back out the door to the grill.
That man. Good grief. I could never prepare myself for his brand of love. Even as much as Brent spoiled me, Michael is so much worse. There’s not a day that goes by that he doesn’t surprise me with some token or something for the kids. Hell, the day he came home with a pink little Harley motorcycle scooter for Roxie, I nearly just melted. She squealed when she saw it and toddled over to the thing and hopped right on while she made vrooming noises as she chased Colt and Wesson.
Michael beamed with pride watching her mimic him. He asks me constantly when she’ll be old enough to go for a ride with him, but he knows that she’s still far too small to try that yet. He still asks every day hoping that I’ll relent.
I think the strangest part of our relationship has been the club aspect of being the first old lady and how much more involved I am than I was with Brent. Michael made sure that when he gave me my new property patch that Brent was represented on my cut. Just below the “Property of Raze” was a small patch that simply read “In Memory of Jagger”. Michael knew how much I had struggled with Brent’s name not being on it, but he made sure he was still a part of it even if I wasn’t his property anymore.
The club no longer scares me and feels more and more like my extended family every day. They held me close while I dealt with the aftermath of killing Maj to save him, something that no one knows about outside of those who were present. I have my bad days with the guilt of having her kids under my roof and knowing that her blood is on my hands, but she had her chance to be a good person and gave that up for drugs and money. She was held accountable for her own actions and that’s how she went out of this world because of her own hand.
“Darlin’?” Michael
calls out from the patio. “Can you come out here, please?”
Grabbing the plate of vegetable skewers for the grill, I step out on the patio and stop dead in my tracks. My parents are sitting at the small patio table we put up for the housewarming party with Colt and Wesson flanking either side. Michael’s mom, Mary, is standing on the opposite of my parents with Ky and Harley. There in the middle of all of them is Michael with Roxie in his arms. He bends down and sets her on the ground, sending her toddling on her little legs to me.
Roxie takes her small steps with something wrapped in her little hands.
“What do you have in your hands, baby?” I ask her as I set the plate down on the table by the patio door and crouch down when she reaches me. Her little hand opens up, and in it sits a ring with a cluster of eight diamonds in it. She outstretches her little hand and places it in my open palm. My mouth drops in shock and my hand flies up to my chest as I gasp. Michael’s foot falls move closer to my position with Roxie. Without a word, Harley steps between us and picks up Roxie as Michael kneels before me. I shake my head when he takes the ring from my hand and holds it up in front of us.
“I know we both talked about not getting married early on, but, darlin’, I want you to be mine in my heart and in the eyes of God. We don’t have to get married today or a hundred years from now, but I want the world to know that you belong to me,” he says while tears fall on my cheeks. He wipes them away and he takes the ring, sliding it onto my hand as I stay frozen in silence.
“What about the—”
“The kids and I had a long talk while you were out grocery shopping for the party. I even asked the boys permission, darlin’. We all agree that this is our family and that it’s time we are all bound together.”
I look to the kids as each and everyone one of their faces beam with a smile as they nod.
“I want you to know that even if you say no that it doesn’t change a damn thing, but just know, I’ll ask you every day until you agree So, darlin’, will do you me the honor of making our family whole and be my wife?”
I shake my head while he just laughs.
“I need to hear it, Darcy. A nod isn’t going to be how you answer me.”
“Yes,” I rasp out before he envelops me in his arms while our family cheers from behind us. He plants a chaste kiss that lingers with the promise that we’ll celebrate in our own way later without the prying eyes of our families before helping me up.
The rest of the evening we spend enjoying our family and riding out the excitement of his proposal. After the food is gone and the dishes are clean, Mary and my parents ask to spend more time with the kids before heading back to Arizona.
While I begin to protest the decision, Michael instantly agrees and packs an overnight bag for each and practically shoves them out the door. The sounds from their cars haven’t even faded down the street before he’s spining me around and pinning me to the back of the front door. His hands reach up under my ass and hoists me into the air, my legs wrapping around his waist and his mouth slams into mine. His lips devour my own before his mouth falls away from my swollen lips and kisses trails down the side of my neck.
“I need to claim you, darlin’. I need to feel you clenched around me right fucking now.”
His hands move higher on my lower back as he pulls us away from the door and begins walking toward the sectional in the living room. He lowers me down on the chaise lounge as he stands and removes his shirt. My hands fly to his zipper, and I yank down on it before he presses his body on top of mine.
His hands roam my body, cupping my breasts and tracing between the heated pool between my legs. I moan at his touch and my breath hitches as he fingers the hem of my shirt before ripping it from my body and exposing my black lacey bra underneath.
“Please tell me you have matching fucking panties that I get to remove with my teeth.”
I smile and nod my head. He groans when he lifts up my skirt exposing my lace-covered pussy.
“Damnit, I love you, woman.”
His mouth falls on my breasts as his tongue begins to swirl around my lace covered nipples. His hands pull me forward while he unclasps my bra. I finish undoing his jeans and he steps back and lets me push them down his legs before stepping out of them.
His hands move to my waist. He pulls my skirt down over my hips, leaving me exposed in just my panties. He falls to his knees before he begins trailing kisses up my inner thigh and down the next thigh, completely skipping over my aching pussy on purpose.
“You missed a spot, you know,” I tease with a hiss as he lays a gentle bite on my inner thigh.
“I did, huh?” he teases back, looking up at me from between my legs.
“I think you owe me, in fact.”
He sits on up his heels and looks down at my exposed body laid out before him with an arched eyebrow.
“That so? Let me apologize for the oversight, I will remedy the situation as soon as you shut that pretty mouth of yours and let eat my dessert.”
I laugh while I inch away from him as he tries to dive between my legs.
“That’s the thing; I have an idea in mind for you to make it up to me.”
Confusion only sets in further as he waits for my answer.
“Hmm, what is my punishment for being so neglectful?”
“I want to sit on your face.”
His eyes grow wide and he smiles back at me. “Well, shit. Bring that pretty pussy to me, woman.”
He rises from the floor and reaches out his hand to me, easing me off my back and onto the edge of the lounge. He climbs in behind me and leans back into the corner of the sectional. His eyes grow wide as I stand and plant a foot on the edge of the lounge and step up. I move my legs to straddle his waist before lifting my foot up to the arm of the lounge. Before I even position myself better, his hand moves to my ass and pulls my pussy to his face.
His tongue licks up my drenched pussy and instantly locking onto my clit and circling it. His free hand finds my entrance and plunges two fingers inside of me. His tongue strokes slowly against my clit when the need for more hits as I begin to ride his face. He increases the pressure as my orgasm begins to build.
“I’m so close,” I call out as he sucks hard on my clit before swiping another circle around it at a faster pace. His tongue alternates between flicks and circles. He hooks his finger slightly, hitting my g-spot and setting off an explosive inside of me. I scream out with my orgasm and continue to ride his face as electrical currents of my release flow like a live wire throughout my entire body.
Michael doesn’t wait for my body to settle before sliding down the couch and pulling me down on top of his lap. His dick strains against the boxers, begging to be released. Reaching down, I work his boxers down from his hips and free his engorged cock. He puts a whole new meaning to being hung like a horse. I think the horse would be jealous of his equipment quite frankly.
“I need to be in-fucking-side of you, Darcy.”
He picks me up once more and settles me down on his cock. He hisses once fully sheathed inside of me.
I rock my hips as he pounds his cock inside of me. His rhythm increases as I arch my back and place my hands on his knees, deepening his stroke inside of me. His eyes watch my reactions and thrusts back inside of me so deeply that it teeters on the line between pain and pleasure.
“Say you’re mine, Darcy. I need to hear you say it.”
I gyrate my hips harder on his cock as I scream out, “I’m yours. I am so fucking yours.”
He thrusts twice more before finding his release and a few seconds later, my second orgasm takes ahold of my body. I fall on top of his chest as we both breathless pant together and smile. He wraps his arms around me while we come down off our orgasmic high.
“You are my everything,” he whispers against my hair. “I love you more than anything in the world, Darcy. Well, except for my bike.”
I smirk as I bite down hard on his nipple, and he yelps.
“Fine, I love you more
than my bike. Happy now?”
“Yes, now fuck me again before they decide to return the kids early.”
Holy Shit. This is book number three for me, since I started putting fingers to keyboard in 2015. It literally leaves me a bit awestruck to think that there are enough voices in my head to come up with yet another story. Well, the right voices I should say. There are definitely plenty of voices that probably shouldn’t be heard rambling away in my mind, but we’ll keep those hidden away. I don’t think I would be a good patient in a padded room. Too much bouncing around to be had. Anyway, now it’s time for acknowledgements, which ironically enough is one of the hardest things to write outside of the blurb. Do you know how many times I just want to put “Read this shit. You’ll like it” instead of a thoughtful analysis of the book? Be thankful I have people to talk me out of half the things I come up with. Okay, back to the acknowledgements.
To my husband. It’s finally done and you have your bubbly wife back. I’ve stowed away the bat-shit-crazy writing mess of a wife for a few weeks, but she will have to come back out to plan soon enough. I know that this book took me away far more than any other book I’ve ever written, so I want to thank you for giving me the freedom to do something I love. Thank you for being the love of my life and the most supportive man on the face of the earth.
Nikki, you are the reason that this book is even finished. As the timeline grew closer and closer, you coached, nagged, and pushed me to finish. If you could have been here, I think you might have even smacked me upside the head a few times before locking me in my office. In all seriousness, I doubt that Angels and Ashes would even be halfway finished at this point if it weren’t for you. You support me in so many different ways, tell me when I need to make changes, deal with my whining when the characters are being assholes, and skype with me until way too early in the damn morning to help me plot. You are the only one who keeps me sane and makes sure everything is running smoothly while I’m in book writing mode. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for everything that you do. I promise next time that the beta copy won’t be such a hot damn mess!! I said it before, but Raze is yours. Now, go sit on his face and enjoy.