Moreover, given what it takes to make it as an artist, there are only so many slots on the best X lists, and so many people who want art and are capable and willing to support it. At best, we have our families, friends, vocations, and daily distractions, which often end up taking the form of alcohol and drugs. And, at worst, for so many there is just no way to live, to survive mentally with the unbearable alienation, loneliness, and uselessness of their own existence, and also physically with how hard and expensive it is to keep a basic life worth living going for themselves. And all that, while trying to ignore political squabbles and the decline of life on this planet, and with the “greater connectedness” as well, with the internet and all, to also keep at bay the abyss which creeps ever closer, as we start to discover the boundaries of our minds and emotions, gaining awareness of our finite nature as clever but ultimately insignificant animals doddling about on a little platform in the middle of a really really big nowhere.
~
If every problem was solved, we would have to invent new ones or die from boredom.
~
Reason is bad for all values, not just yours, so don’t worry everyone is getting their share of the damage too, just in varying amounts. Nevertheless, that’s ok though, people are strong, our capacity for nonsense is profound; although, not everyone has dealt with it long enough to have developed sufficient coping strategies and mental fragmentation, so there’s bound to be some bitterness and disenchantment and loss of culture and identity. Which is also fine, modern life permits you your perversions and madnesses, so long as it doesn’t overflow into “the wrong backyards”, in which case someone is either going to have to give up, fight, flee, or die, or keep making drama until a good enough story is spun to keep everything and everyone calm and mostly sane.
~
The unnecessary warmth still radiating from an unloved and unlovable hand.
~
Only once you know that it is there, can you start to think about doing something about it, or rather, about yourself.
~
Some things are only ethical with the right music.
~
And the worst part is that even though you’ve learned since then, you can never quite forgive yourself for how stupid you were.
~
Desire is a child born weary of life; its only purpose is its own completion.
~
Rue the day that you should ever find yourself, because after hitting that wall, there will be nothing left to look for. You’ll spend your days with your hands crawling all over that wall, desperately feeling for a crack, anything to prove that there is more, that you are not this and this is not it.
~
Life is like a big blown up thing with a tiny hole in it, you have to keep pushing air and busyments into it to keep it from deflating into a proper mush and nothingness, but then eventually not even this works because the rubber gets tired or the inflation system does, or the hole grows too big, and it’s just no good.
~
As a tug of war with decay, even if one’s bodily existence was preserved and kept in a perfect balance, there would still be the issue of boredom and tedium, which will become too painful and empty to bear, as time gets to exhausting whatever toleration there is left for existence in you, long long before the death of the universe could. To live forever, one’s mind would have to be like a bucket overflowing, constantly forgetting only so it can relearn. Nothing preserved and nothing lost. But what’s the use of being kept operational as a lump of infinitely looping pictures and sensations? Or worse, just imagine they make a brain for you the size of a truck, you’d out grow all the entertainment available to you and get so accustomed to the texture of everything, that the lucidity would become unbearable, especially so when all your essential needs are already met, and you’re left with nothing to rile against or be preoccupied by, nothing but the excruciating fact of your existence. Perhaps as the years pass one would take on a kind of desperate spiritual yearning, and engage in something endlessly pointless but ever hopeful, like calculating PI or something and hoping for a message somewhere in the order of the numbers, as if that would be some kind of redemption. It’s stupid. Cioran was right, “only the idiot is equipped to breathe”.
~
That a death cult should seek new members.
~
Rue the day you should ever manage to fulfill your desires with more than enough, for then you will become truly empty.
~
Love yourself, and of your neighbors, be amicable but always suspicious.
~
There is an impossible tightrope, perhaps you know the one, at one end is a fall upward into madness and mania, on the other, a slow slicing decline, which ends in the total ablation of everything that you are, and everything that could have been. Maybe with this one, it is best to forget where you are and who you are entirely, after all, the many provinces of la la land beckon and await.
~
In lethargy, all are united.
~
Suffering in life is like a negligible high hum that just occasionally spikes to unbearable levels.
~
Long-Suffering is like a low drone, most of the time it’s too soft to really be bothered with, and you can go on despite it, but other times, especially quiet late times, it becomes an earth quake for one, your own personal rumbling spiky-stabby dream toppler.
~
It’s fine, just put the wrong things together in the right way.
~
Living life for other people is not ultimately worth it, but then again neither are you.
~
Chasing status is stupid, all it will do is leave you regretful, pompous, and with a memory of what the asses of people you don’t respect tastes like.
~
Existing in time with knowledge of your own death and limitation is kind of excruciating when paired with this relentless force shoving you along, telling you to go on, and that so alongside familial and cultural scripts and expectations, no wonder life is such a guilt ridden monstrosity, everyone is running around anxiously with the mad thought milling around like a tireless hamster on a squeaky wheel in the middle of the night, “am I doing it right, time is running out? Am I doing it right? Oh god, it’s a fuck up isn’t it? This is a mess. Time is running out. Can I fix it? Can I try again? Am I doing it right? Are they doing it right? Should I be like them? Time is running out. I don’t feel like I’ve properly done it yet. Is it enough, am I enough? Time is running out. And so on and so on…”
~
When the absolute has failed you, doubt can become its own perverse fetish, it is like an autopsy of the world that includes excising your own soul from its dead womb, it is a race to see how far you can dissemble yourself, to find the limit of what there is still left to give up on. When it is not used as self-protection, doubt becomes a kind of sublimity one finds in unbecoming, a counterbalance to the unbearable lightness of being. Where the world has shown your hollowness to you, like taking a spork to the insides of a pumpkin, doubt can take form as a frantic effort to reverse the procedure, to become whole by becoming empty. Oh but what do you do, when even doubt bottoms out?
~
Like a cat clubbing shit off of the table, doubt is fun until the only thing left to throw off the edge is yourself.
~
And although this mound of burning shit, damage, and decay you have inherited in life is 99.999999% not your fault, if you don’t pick it up, well then the mound grows and it becomes the next guy’s shit to shovel, but be warned, there will come a time when no machine and no shovel can save us from ourselves.
~
One is only ever a nihilist in the grand sense, but in the world of pitiful middle sized things, you can’t help but give in to everything around you mattering, even if only in the most banal sense. It matters that there is a mighty mosquito nomming on your leg, it matters that your feet are cold in bed, and it matters that someone’s probably gon
na notice you have an erection in public, or worse, that you are [also] on the verge of shitting yourself.
~
It only matters that the game is rigged if you know about it.
~
And after every ball of shit is flung and he has himself hung, no mistake, they’d find means and reasons to fling more at the corpse.
~
Of course when someone is drowning in life, they’ll clamber and clobber to get to somewhere safe. Which is why, when they hurt you, do protect yourself, but also forgive them their strife, because you’d want the same if it was your life.
~
When there is nothing left to insult, but the fact of your existence.
~
Quietude is anathema to the mind’s ceaseless ambition to finally unravel itself.
~
Sometimes giving out is the best way not to give in.
~
Ironically enough, the elimination of the possibility of your liberation in a True World, is exactly how you get there.
~
How fragile are we that we allow one look, or one off-tone word to blow us to pieces inside?
~
Every nicety is an investment in the future; trouble is, what do you do when there is essentially no future for you?
~
With the unworkability of truth in the absolute, pragmatic error-driven perspectivism is probably all right. Which is to say: whatever works until it doesn’t.
~
Rather a child in love with discovery than an adult afraid to try because they will never afford the recovery.
~
At bottom, every conflict in life starts and ends with wanting what you don’t have. Well, that and bad philosophy.
~
Maybe there is something to be after all, you can be a wanderer, one who is, just like the ironist at times, a philosophical nomad sailing across the perspectivistic ocean, traveling through thought-lands, but never staying too long, for fear of acculturation and assimilation. Though, you might just lose yourself in the process, oh but then again, for some that’s hardly even a loss. No, you could probably make due. Hmmm, but after enough time though, and many travels later, you might get tired though, like life tired, tired to the point where it feels like time is gnawing at your bones. Wherefore you would probably have to settle at some point because of all that, which is dreadful because, seeing what you’ve seen now, it’d be hard to muster the necessary enthusiasm to act as if you take the place seriously. Eh, maybe it’d be better to just settle down, enjoy what you can, and to slither in, in between, saying yes to whatever truth is least on fire.
~
Not sure if coming to clarity, or, slowly losing my mind; both probably.
~
How dreadful, that at one end there is insufferable tedium and procrastination, and at the other, the guilt and anxiety of not getting it done quick enough, and but then even when it is finally done, there is how the disconcerting shadow of it all somehow still manages to linger on, hanging thickly in the air without any reason, as if the whole condition has now settled itself as a permanent feature of one’s life and constitution.
~
Rather a scoundrel you know than an ethicist you don’t.
~
Like so many others, as a product of the information age, most of everything I have ever known came through a wire. On a computer, 6-16 hours a day, is no way to spend your best years, but, it’s better than the alternative, better than death, at least this is what one must assume. I’ve become such an attachment to my computer, I think it is the sentient one and I just facilitate its consciousness at this point.
~
Humanity is the one time nature uttered a profanity.
~
Oh how badly they want the dark philosophies to be the mere affliction of depressive assholes, if only, seriously, if only.
~
Young Timothy Randomburg, Fortnight player and aspiring R-strategist.
~
Rest assured your failure is their failure too.
~
And how many lies must be bought before you’ve a “Good Life” caught?
~
So what will be our source of consolation in this void?
A hand to hold? A truth to be told?
Perhaps, a flower or tree to sketch?
For some the means to an end,
is the justification for a start.
Here's to those blind enough to see, that,
life requires a special kind of insanity.
~
Whether you waste 5 years or 50, in grief or horror, in psychosis, or otherwise looking for things that don’t exist, know that, either way, your own humanity will eat you up and shit you out, lest you become more monstrous even than it.
~
There is nowhere to run to, everywhere you go you will find yourself, always your horrible fucking self.
~
There are no more simple virtues in this world, nothing means anything, and truth? Well now that can be arranged.
~
The citation is a terrible insulator, but at least it burns good.
~
And you can always disown your words, but it’s other people that will keep them glued to you.
~
Failure was always a given, the question is just: “what now?”
~
Asking someone to stay alive, is asking them to suffer and watch themselves waste away. Staying longer than one should can be more trouble than it is worth, and tarnish the good that was.
~
Everyone wants to be known for their peaks, not the tedium they put someone else through in the thick of their decline and decrepitude. It would be better to die shortly after your highest height is through, than to spend the rest of your life feeling lesser than who you were, unable to live in a world and body that no longer complies with the person living inside.
~
In many ways, renting out your genitals is so much more dignified than selling your thoughts or personality.
~
To sustain yourself in this digital day and age, you are forced to sell yourself away, one way or another.
~
What is sublime to me may be utter goo to you, and just so too can those joys and beauties which are close and dear to you appear to others, for this apparent beauty or sublimity is exactly that, apparent, for what inheres in such a subject of focus is merely the occasion for a beauty and a sublime, for you are its animator, you are the one who makes things blaze with wonder.
~
If we didn’t sleep, the monotonous constancy of life would tear us apart.
~
When they demand a “serious conversation”, but you know, they are too emotionally immature to handle what they are asking for.
~
If freedom costs a leg, hop forward, it’s a good price.
~
Sometimes the situation in life is like having your only can-opener come inside of a can itself, and having your only food be canned food, you know, just cans all the way down.
~
The absolute helplessness of having them lie to your face about where they have been, but knowing better than to question it, because questioning it opens up a bag of miseries you might never out live.
~
Sometimes life is all kikki and no bubba.
~
[[[“If Truth is a woman, does that make verisimilitude a vampy transvestite?”]]]
~
That it is deemed a luxury to be apathetic and bored.
~
Fight coldly, tear limbs, rip everything to shreds, but dammit, leave their soul intact.
~
The only thing worse than not having a future is being old with no past.
~
Pipe dream of a dark thinker: to lodge a scorn against being and its defects, so great, it commits one to history as a permanent “shit stain on the underwear of life”. (gotta love
Eminem)
~
When the only thing that understands you is the algorithm organizing your music mixes.
~
Everyone can learn something; it is just a matter of finding learning material that speaks to you.
Morsels for the Depressed, Depraved, Pessimistic, and Otherwise Declining Page 4