Satire 10. The Vanity of Human Wishes
Omnibus in terris, quae sunt a Gadibus usque
Auroram et Gangen, pauci dinoscere possunt
uera bona atque illis multum diuersa, remota
erroris nebula. quid enim ratione timemus
aut cupimus? quid tam dextro pede concipis ut te 5
conatus non paeniteat uotique peracti?
euertere domos totas optantibus ipsis
di faciles. nocitura toga, nocitura petuntur
militia; torrens dicendi copia multis
et sua mortifera est facundia; uiribus ille 10
confisus periit admirandisque lacertis;
sed pluris nimia congesta pecunia cura
strangulat et cuncta exuperans patrimonia census
quanto delphinis ballaena Britannica maior.
temporibus diris igitur iussuque Neronis 15
Longinum et magnos Senecae praediuitis hortos
clausit et egregias Lateranorum obsidet aedes
tota cohors: rarus uenit in cenacula miles.
pauca licet portes argenti uascula puri
nocte iter ingressus, gladium contumque timebis 20
et mota ad lunam trepidabis harundinis umbra:
cantabit uacuus coram latrone uiator.
[1] In all the lands that stretch from Gades to the Ganges and the Morn, there are but few who can distinguish true blessings from their opposites, putting aside the mists of error. For when does Reason direct our desires or our fears? What project do we form so auspiciously that we do not repent us of our effort and of the granted wish? Whole households have been destroyed by the compliant Gods in answer to the masters’ prayers; in camp and city alike we ask for things that will be our ruin. Many a man has met death from the rushing flood of his own eloquence; others from the strength and wondrous thews in which they have trusted. More still have been ruined by money too carefully amassed, and by fortunes that surpass all patrimonies by as much as the British whale exceeds the dolphin. It was for this that in the dire days Nero ordered Longinus and the great gardens of the over-wealthy Seneca to be put under siege; for this was it that the noble Palace of the Laterani was beset by an entire cohort; it is but seldom that soldiers find their way into a garret!
Though you carry but few silver vessels with you in a night journey, you will be afraid of the sword and cudgel of a freebooter, you will tremble at the shadow of a reed shaking in the moonlight; but the empty-handed traveller will whistle in the robber’s face.
prima fere uota et cunctis notissima templis
diuitiae, crescant ut opes, ut maxima toto
nostra sit arca foro. sed nulla aconita bibuntur 25
fictilibus; tunc illa time cum pocula sumes
gemmata et lato Setinum ardebit in auro.
iamne igitur laudas quod de sapientibus alter
ridebat, quotiens a limine mouerat unum
protuleratque pedem, flebat contrarius auctor? 30
sed facilis cuiuis rigidi censura cachinni:
mirandum est unde ille oculis suffecerit umor.
perpetuo risu pulmonem agitare solebat
Democritus, quamquam non essent urbibus illis
praetextae, trabeae, fasces, lectica, tribunal. 35
quid si uidisset praetorem curribus altis
extantem et medii sublimem puluere circi
in tunica Iouis et pictae Sarrana ferentem
ex umeris aulaea togae magnaeque coronae
tantum orbem, quanto ceruix non sufficit ulla? 40
quippe tenet sudans hanc publicus et, sibi consul
ne placeat, curru seruus portatur eodem.
da nunc et uolucrem, sceptro quae surgit eburno,
illinc cornicines, hinc praecedentia longi
agminis officia et niueos ad frena Quirites, 45
defossa in loculos quos sportula fecit amicos.
tum quoque materiam risus inuenit ad omnis
occursus hominum, cuius prudentia monstrat
summos posse uiros et magna exempla daturos
ueruecum in patria crassoque sub aere nasci. 50
ridebat curas nec non et gaudia uolgi,
interdum et lacrimas, cum Fortunae ipse minaci
mandaret laqueum mediumque ostenderet unguem.
[23] The foremost of all petitions — the one best known to every temple — is for riches and their increase, that our money-chest may be the biggest in the Forum. But you will drink no aconite out of an earthenware cup; you may dread it when a jewelled cup is offered you, or when Setine wine sparkles in a golden bowl. Then will you not commend the two wise men, one of whom would laugh while the opposite sage would weep every time he set a foot outside the door? To condemn by a cutting laugh comes readily to us all; the wonder is how the other sage’s eyes were supplied with all that water. The sides of Democritus shook with unceasing laughter, although in the cities of his day there were no purple-bordered or purple-striped robes, no fasces, no palanquins, no tribunals. What if he had seen the Praetor uplifted in his lofty car amid the dust of the Circus, attired in the tunic of Jove, hitching an embroidered Tyrian toga on to his shoulders, and carrying a crown so big that no neck could bear the weight of it? For a public slave is sweating under the burden; and that the Consul may not fancy himself overmuch, the slave rides in the same chariot with his master. Add to all this the bird that is perched on his ivory staff; on this side the horn-blowers, on that the duteous clients preceding him in long array, with white-robed Roman citizens, whose friendship has been gained by the dinner-dole snugly lying in their purses, marching at his bridle-rein. Even then the philosopher found food for laughter at every meeting with his kind: his wisdom shows us that men of high distinction and destined to set great examples may be born in a dullard air, and in the land of mutton-heads. He laughed at the troubles, ay and at the pleasures, of the crowd, sometimes too at their tears, while for himself he would bid frowning fortune go hang, and point at her the finger of derision.
ergo superuacua aut quae perniciosa petuntur?
propter quae fas est genua incerare deorum? 55
quosdam praecipitat subiecta potentia magnae
inuidiae, mergit longa atque insignis honorum
pagina. descendunt statuae restemque secuntur,
ipsas deinde rotas bigarum inpacta securis
caedit et inmeritis franguntur crura caballis. 60
iam strident ignes, iam follibus atque caminis
ardet adoratum populo caput et crepat ingens
Seianus, deinde ex facie toto orbe secunda
fiunt urceoli, pelues, sartago, matellae.
pone domi laurus, duc in Capitolia magnum 65
cretatumque bouem: Seianus ducitur unco
spectandus, gaudent omnes. ‘quae labra, quis illi
uultus erat! numquam, si quid mihi credis, amaui
hunc hominem. sed quo cecidit sub crimine? quisnam
delator quibus indicibus, quo teste probauit?’ 70
‘nil horum; uerbosa et grandis epistula uenit
a Capreis.’
[54] Thus it is that the things for which we pray, and for which it is right and proper to load the knees of the Gods with wax, are either profitless or pernicious! Some men are hurled headlong by over-great power and the envy to which it exposes them; they are wrecked by the long and illustrious roll of their honours: down come their statues, obedient to the rope; the axe hews in pieces their chariot wheels and the legs of the unoffending horses. And now the flames are hissing, and amid the roar of furnace and of bellows the head of the mighty Sejanus, the darling of the mob, is burning and crackling, and from that face, which was but lately second in the entire world, are being fashioned pipkins, pitchers, frying-pans and slop-pails! Up with the laurel-wreaths over your doors! Lead forth a grand chalked bull to the Capitol! Sejanus is being dragged along by a hook, as a show and joy to all! “What a lip the fellow had! What a face!”— “Believe me, I never liked the man!”— “But on what charge was he condemned? Who informed
against him? What was the evidence, who the witnesses, who made good the case?”— “Nothing of the sort; a great and wordy letter came from Capri.”— “Good; I ask no more.”
‘bene habet, nil plus interrogo.’ sed quid
turba Remi? sequitur fortunam, ut semper, et odit
damnatos. idem populus, si Nortia Tusco
fauisset, si oppressa foret secura senectus 75
principis, hac ipsa Seianum diceret hora
Augustum. iam pridem, ex quo suffragia nulli
uendimus, effudit curas; nam qui dabat olim
imperium, fasces, legiones, omnia, nunc se
continet atque duas tantum res anxius optat, 80
panem et circenses.
[72] And what does the mob of Remus say? It follows fortune, as it always does, and rails against the condemned. That same rabble, if Nortia had smiled upon the Etruscan, if the aged Emperor had been struck down unawares, would in that very hour have conferred upon Sejanus the title of Augustus. Now that no one buys our votes, the public has long since cast off its cares; the people that once bestowed commands, consulships, legions and all else, now meddles no more and longs eagerly for just two things — Bread and Games!
‘perituros audio multos.’
‘nil dubium, magna est fornacula.’ ‘pallidulus mi
Bruttidius meus ad Martis fuit obuius aram;
quam timeo, uictus ne poenas exigat Aiax
ut male defensus. curramus praecipites et, 85
dum iacet in ripa, calcemus Caesaris hostem.
sed uideant serui, ne quis neget et pauidum in ius
ceruice obstricta dominum trahat.’
[81] “I hear that many are to perish.”— “No doubt of it; there is a big furnace ready.”— “My friend Brutidius looked a trifle pale when I met him at the Altar of Mars. I tremble lest the defeated Ajax should take vengeance for having been so ill-defended.”— “Let us rush headlong and trample on Caesar’s enemy, while he lies upon the bank!”— “Ay, and let our slaves see us, that none bear witness against us, and drag their trembling master into court with a halter round his neck.”
hi sermones
tunc de Seiano, secreta haec murmura uolgi.
uisne salutari sicut Seianus, habere 90
tantundem atque illi summas donare curules,
illum exercitibus praeponere, tutor haberi
principis angusta Caprearum in rupe sedentis
cum grege Chaldaeo? uis certe pila, cohortis,
egregios equites et castra domestica; quidni 95
haec cupias? et qui nolunt occidere quemquam
posse uolunt. sed quae praeclara et prospera tanti,
ut rebus laetis par sit mensura malorum?
huius qui trahitur praetextam sumere mauis
an Fidenarum Gabiorumque esse potestas 100
et de mensura ius dicere, uasa minora
frangere pannosus uacuis aedilis Vlubris?
ergo quid optandum foret ignorasse fateris
Seianum; nam qui nimios optabat honores
et nimias poscebat opes, numerosa parabat 105
excelsae turris tabulata, unde altior esset
casus et inpulsae praeceps inmane ruinae.
quid Crassos, quid Pompeios euertit et illum,
ad sua qui domitos deduxit flagra Quirites?
summus nempe locus nulla non arte petitus 110
magnaque numinibus uota exaudita malignis.
ad generum Cereris sine caede ac uulnere pauci
descendunt reges et sicca morte tyranni.
[88] Such was the talk at the moment about Sejanus; such were the mutterings of the crowd. And would you like to be courted like Sejanus? To be as rich as he was? To bestow on one man the ivory chairs of office, appoint another to the command of armies, and be counted guardian of a Prince seated on the narrow ledge of Capri with his herd of Chaldaean astrologers? You would like, no doubt, to have Centurions, Cohorts, and Illustrious Knights at your call, and to possess a camp of your own? Why should you not? Even those who don’t want to kill anybody would like to have the power to do it. But what grandeur, what high fortune, are worth the having if the joy is overbalanced by the calamities they bring with them? Would you rather choose to wear the bordered robe of the man now being dragged along the streets, or to be a magnate at Fidenae or Gabii, adjudicating upon weights, or smashing vessels of short measure, as a thread-bare Aedile at deserted Ulubrae? You admit, then, that Sejanus did not know what things were to be desired; for in coveting excessive honours, and seeking excessive wealth, he was but building up the many stories of a lofty tower whence the fall would be the greater, and the crash of headlong ruin more terrific. What was it that overthrew the Crassi, and the Pompeii, and him who brought the conquered Quirites under his lash? What but lust for the highest place pursued by every kind of means? What but ambitious prayers granted by unkindly Gods? Few indeed are the kings who go down to Ceres’ son-in-law save by sword and slaughter — few the tyrants that perish by a bloodless death!
eloquium ac famam Demosthenis aut Ciceronis
incipit optare et totis quinquatribus optat 115
quisquis adhuc uno parcam colit asse Mineruam,
quem sequitur custos angustae uernula capsae.
eloquio sed uterque perit orator, utrumque
largus et exundans leto dedit ingenii fons.
ingenio manus est et ceruix caesa, nec umquam 120
sanguine causidici maduerunt rostra pusilli.
‘o fortunatam natam me consule Romam:’
Antoni gladios potuit contemnere si sic
omnia dixisset. ridenda poemata malo
quam te, conspicuae diuina Philippica famae, 125
uolueris a prima quae proxima. saeuus et illum
exitus eripuit, quem mirabantur Athenae
torrentem et pleni moderantem frena theatri.
dis ille aduersis genitus fatoque sinistro,
quem pater ardentis massae fuligine lippus 130
a carbone et forcipibus gladiosque paranti
incude et luteo Volcano ad rhetora misit.
[114] Every schoolboy who worships Minerva with a modest penny fee, attended by a slave to guard his little satchel, prays all through his holidays for eloquence, for the fame of a Cicero or a Demosthenes. Yet it was eloquence that brought both orators to their death; each perished by the copious and overflowing torrent of his own genius. It was his genius that cut off the hand, and severed the neck, of Cicero; never yet did futile pleader stain the rostra with his blood!
“O happy Fate for the Roman State
Was the date of my great Consulate!”
Had Cicero always spoken thus, he might have laughed at the swords of Antony. Better verses meet only for contempt than thou, O famous and divine Philippic, that comest out second on the roll! Terrible, too, was the death of him whom Athens loved to hear sweeping along and holding in check the crowded theatre. Unfriendly were the Gods, and evil the star, under whom was born the man whom his father, blear-eyed with the soot of glowing ore, sent away from the coal, the pincers and the sword-fashioning anvil of grimy Vulcan, to study the art of the rhetorician!
bellorum exuuiae, truncis adfixa tropaeis
lorica et fracta de casside buccula pendens
et curtum temone iugum uictaeque triremis 135
aplustre et summo tristis captiuos in arcu
humanis maiora bonis creduntur. ad hoc se
Romanus Graiusque et barbarus induperator
erexit, causas discriminis atque laboris
inde habuit: tanto maior famae sitis est quam 140
uirtutis. quis enim uirtutem amplectitur ipsam,
praemia si tollas? patriam tamen obruit olim
gloria paucorum et laudis titulique cupido
haesuri saxis cinerum custodibus, ad quae
discutienda ualent sterilis mala robora fici, 145
quandoquidem data sunt ipsis quoque fata sepulcris.
[133] The spoils of war and trophies fastened upon stu
mps — a breast-plate, a cheek-strap hanging from a broken helmet, a yoke shorn of its pole, the flagstaff of a captured galley, or a captive sorrowing on a triumphal arch — such things are deemed glories too great for man; these are the prizes for which every General strives, be he Greek, Roman, or barbarian; it is for these that he endures toil and peril: so much greater is the thirst for glory than for virtue! For who would embrace virtue herself if you stripped her of her rewards? Yet full oft has a land been destroyed by the vainglory of a few, by the lust for honour and for a title that shall cling to the stones that guard their ashes — stones which may be rent asunder by the rude strength of the barren fig-tree, seeing that even sepulchres have their doom assigned to them!
expende Hannibalem: quot libras in duce summo
inuenies? hic est quem non capit Africa Mauro
percussa oceano Niloque admota tepenti
rursus ad Aethiopum populos aliosque elephantos. 150
additur imperiis Hispania, Pyrenaeum
transilit. opposuit natura Alpemque niuemque:
diducit scopulos et montem rumpit aceto.
iam tenet Italiam, tamen ultra pergere tendit.
‘acti’ inquit ‘nihil est, nisi Poeno milite portas 155
frangimus et media uexillum pono Subura.’
o qualis facies et quali digna tabella,
Delphi Complete Works of Juvena Page 40