by Amy Richie
“Willow, you are so pretty,” Aubrey gushed as we searched for the right shirt to make me fit in.
“Ivy is a lot prettier than me.”
“Who’s Ivy?”
Were they really so self-absorbed that they hadn’t noticed her? But then again, she had only gone to their school for one day. Maybe they hadn’t seen her. “My sister.”
“You have a sister?”
“Rueben didn’t mention that you had a sister.”
“Really? He knew her.” I wondered why he hadn’t mentioned her. Surely he had noticed how beautiful she was. Carlie had known her.
“Hmm, well Rueben only sees what he wants to.”
“How about this one?” Aubrey held up a sequined pink top that looked barely large enough to cover a baby doll.
“That won’t fit me.”
“You need to try it on,” Lindsey ordered. “And here’s some jeans.”
To my horror they declared it a “perfect fit” and found several more outfits of similar size. I modeled outfit after outfit for my small audience and managed to find many things that were suitable for my new status.
I had to defend my stomach after an embarrassing growling episode had Lindsey in a fit of giggles. “I didn’t eat lunch.” My face flamed red.
We found a nice little place in the mall that served Mexican food. As a general rule I never ate Mexican food, but today I was willing to make an exception. One lousy pop tart at seven a.m. was just not cutting it. I ended up only ordering a taco with no vegetables. I wanted to order a whole platter but I was bullied out of it. These two were worse than Bella.
To ensure that I didn’t inhale my food I tried to make small talk while I ate. “So, have you two dated Rueben?”
They looked at each other and smiled widely. “Rueben has dated half the squad.”
“Hasn’t he only been at this school a few months?”
“Four months,” Aubrey corrected.
“How long has he dated Carlie?”
“He’s going steady with Carlie. For about two months; well, he was.”
My eyes narrowed in confusion. “And he dated both of you?”
“We just went out with him a few times.” Aubrey grinned. “Or three.”
My fork paused halfway to my mouth. “Wait … you don’t mean sex?” The word blurted out before I could stop it.
The couple at the table next to us glared at us disapprovingly and Lindsey burst out laughing. “You’re not a virgin are you?” Aubrey asked way too loudly.
“Yes,” I whispered.
“Not for long,” Lindsey chuckled.
Chapter Ten
Morphing
Gage was just coming out the front door when I pulled into the driveway. “Hey,” I called out. He didn’t answer with words but he did stop. “Where are the boys?”
“I don’t know.”
“Jed?” He shrugged. “Ugh! I told them not to hunt without me. And Jed is supposed to be dead!” I stomped my foot like a three year old.
“Bad day at school?”
“No.” My lower lip jutted out. I was aware that I was acting shamefully immature, but it didn’t stop me.
“You want to talk about it?”
“I went shopping.”
“I realize I have been out of the loop for a while, but isn’t shopping a sport that girls enjoy?”
“With two cheerleaders.” He only nodded. “We ate, but they only let me order one taco.”
“So that’s the problem; you’re hungry?”
“No, Gage! My problem is that Rueben is having sex with most of the cheerleading squad.” My face flushed scarlet.
“So, you’re jealous?”
“I’m not jealous,” I flared. “Oh!” I stormed past Gage and slammed the front door in his face.
I was not jealous. No way was I jealous. My hands shook even after I was alone in my room. I was just worried, that was all. There was nothing else to it. It would be too easy to hurt one of the girls. The boys were being irresponsible. Why were they interested in those girls, anyway? They should be more driven by their wolf instincts, especially now that they had a female.
I slammed my fist into my bed. Maybe I was jealous, but not in the human way. My pack should be more focused on me.
My thoughts drew me up short. Since when had they become my pack? I sat down heavily on the bed and slid down to the floor. It had only been a few days and already the bond was stronger than I ever thought it would be.
A knock sounded on my door, bringing me out of my disturbing thoughts. “Hey,” Gage called softly from the doorway.
“You can come in,” I offered with a weak smile.
“You’re not going to start crying, are you?”
“I don’t think so.”
“I’m not very experienced with crying females.”
“I’m not crying,” I sniffed, making us both laugh.
“You’re a cheerleader now?” he asked cautiously. He stood awkwardly by the bed.
“I don’t really know if I want to be.”
“I never could understand the whole social standing of high school.” He slouched down beside me on the floor.
Outside, the sun had almost completely set. The sky was just light enough for humans to see, but the darkness was coming fast. “It’s insane.”
He took a deep breath and let it out through his nose. “I don’t think they’re hunting.”
“No?” He shook his head. “Then where are they?”
“Not sure, but I think they are probably still in their human forms.”
After a long silence, I asked, “Do you like being a wolf?”
“There’s no feeling like it. It’s like you can fly and you don’t have to get caught up in human emotions.”
“Bella’s boys hardly ever go between human and wolf anymore. But you do.”
“Yes.” He offered nothing else.
“Aren’t you older than them? Why didn’t you have to choose?”
“We’re probably about the same age.” One corner of his lip curved into a grin. “You don’t have to choose one or the other. You can just decide to be both. For some, the transformation is too much and they become more wolf like.”
“I hate being a wolf,” I blurted out. He only smiled in response. “When I get the chance, I’m going to only be human.”
His smile turned into a full-blown chuckle. “I don’t think it works like that, especially in your case.”
“Because I’m female?”
“No,” his face grew briefly serious, “because you were changed so young.”
I swallowed loudly. “I was only six.”
“I know.”
My voice dropped an octave. “I didn’t even have a choice.”
“Not many of us did.”
“I wish Bella would have just let me die.”
“No, you don’t.”
“How do you know what I want? You don’t even know me.”
“I know that you have spent your whole life feeling sorry for yourself.”
I blinked rapidly. “Who do you think you are?” I couldn’t decide if I was more shocked or outraged.
“To you, I’m Uncle Gage,” he winked.
“Uncle, right.” I rolled my eyes, my anger quickly dissipating.
“I’m sure I’m at least old enough to be your uncle.”
“How old are you?”
“I was turned when I was twelve years old.” I didn’t miss that he avoided my question.
“You were twelve. What was that like?”
“You know.” He shrugged.
“Yeah, I guess I do.” I looked up and locked gazes with his bright grey eyes. I never realized how nice Gage’s eyes were. There were tiny black specks surrounding his black pupils. My breathing hitched up a few notches when his face inched a little closer to mine.
A long howl pierced the night and Gage jumped to his feet. His eyes were wide and his nostrils flared. His chest rose and fell at an alarming rate. “Guess the b
oys are calling,” he remarked breathlessly.
“Yeah.” I jumped up to his level so suddenly that we almost bumped heads. “I’ll um … just go see what they want.”
“I’ll go with you.” He looked around the room as if he were an animal stuck in a cage.
“Umm …. Yeah, okay.” My eyes darted around the room until they came to rest on Gage. Of their own accord, they traveled up to his face. When our eyes locked again, my breathing was completely cut off.
Another howl, this one closer to the cabin, had us both jumping backwards. “Right.” Gage nodded curtly.
What just happened? My breathing only started to become regular after Gage’s presence was gone, but I was frozen in place.
“Willow!” he called from the other room.
“Coming!” It wasn’t my fault that my voice croaked. “Damn it,” I muttered under my breath. I quickly slipped out of my sixty-dollar too tight jeans and pulled on my comfortable frayed at the top jeans. I had a moment of hesitation before I clasped the button. Maybe I’d rather shred the tight ones.
The front door banged shut, jerking me back into action. I switched my new pink top for a plain t-shirt and hastily left the room.
My hand paused on the front door. I moistened my dry lips with my tongue. Two days ago, I’d had my first kiss with Jed in a supply closet, now I was almost drooling over a hairy man in my bedroom. What was wrong with me? I pressed my fist into my stomach, trying to squash the butterflies. How could I possibly be attracted to Gage?
My heart was still thumping wildly when I rounded the cabin, on four legs. My red-brown fur ruffled in the slight breeze, making a shiver run along my spine. Gage came into view first, his huge form blocking out the rest of the world. I was pretty sure his wolf ears would hear the way my heart reacted to him.
He walked towards me, keeping my eyes prisoner the entire time. I had to look up to him when he came within inches of me. I held my breath.
Suddenly, he dropped low to the ground and pushed his head under my chin. Friendly submission. My breath returned in a whoosh, leaving me momentarily light headed. I nudged his shoulder with the top of my head and took off through the woods, Gage close at my heels.
Running in my wolf form always exhilarated me, but running with Gage was an entirely new experience. I felt light enough to run through the air. It was the freest I’d ever felt in my entire life.
He nipped playfully at my back leg, but quickly ducked away when I tried to return the favor. Speed was on his side and he easily outran me. “That’s not fair, old man,” I called after him. He made a sound low in his throat and dug his feet into the ground. He stopped so abruptly that I ran right into him. I let out a small yelp of surprise as I rolled onto the ground.
Gage trapped my hind leg between his teeth, effectively pinning me to the ground. “Ow,” I playfully complained. I swatted at his chest with my front paw, but he just shook his head. With a growl, I managed to free myself and shot off with a burst of speed.
Gage gave chase, allowing me to just stay out of his reach. My lungs burned, but I didn’t slow down until I reached the stream. I collapsed to the ground, out of breath.
I felt Gage lay down next to me, but it shocked me when I felt his hand stroke the fur along the back of my neck. In a rush of heat, I changed back to human form. His hand remained on my chest, feeling the beat of my heart through my tattered clothes.
I didn’t dare say a word as he watched my emotions play across my face. Confusion, excitement, fear, desire. Very slowly, he brought his face closer to mine. Impatiently, I arched my back to bring myself closer to him.
“Willow,” he whispered. In his eyes, I recognized the conflict. I couldn’t understand why he didn’t want to kiss me, but clearly his mind and body were at war.
“It’s okay,” I whispered back.
“Are you guys gonna hurry up and kiss so we can hunt?” asked a familiar voice.
My heart exploded with embarrassment and disappointment. I jerked my head to see Jed sitting a few feet away along with all five of the others. Before I could even react, Gage was already off of me and back to his furry self.
Pouting only slightly, I morphed back as well. “You guys haven’t hunted yet?”
“No. We were waiting for you. Rueben said we had to.”
I glanced at Rueben, who was still staring sullenly at me. I couldn’t really blame him, we were supposed to be an item now. “Good.” I self-consciously looked at the ground, then back at Jed. “What did you guys do all day?”
Everyone except Jed changed forms and were nipping at each other excitedly. “We cleaned, like you told us to. So that way you could come visit.” Jed looked pleased with himself. “Can we hunt now?”
“I only hunt a few times a month.” Jed stared at me as if I’d suddenly grown a second tail. Everyone had ceased all movement and were just staring at me, even Gage. “Well, I’m just saying … you know.” Tyson whined and lay on the ground. “We … we can hunt. Of course we’ll hunt.”
With an excited grin, Jed joined his brothers. I avoided looking at Gage as he purposefully stood close to my right shoulder. Rueben protested slightly, but in the end, Gage stood his ground.
“Stay away from the roads,” I instructed as we padded through the trees. Despite our size, the pack was silent as we crept forward, listening for sounds of prey. “If you pick up the scent of a human, turn the other way.”
A small herd of deer grazed near the river, providing dinner. The animals never saw what hit them as one by one, all four were taken down.
I growled my disapproval loudly. “You didn’t need to kill four deer.” They shrank away from my anger. “We kill because we have to eat, not just for fun.” Most of the boys bowed their heads in submission; only Rueben stared at me defiantly. Guess he was still upset about me and Gage. “These big kill sights will raise human suspicion. Especially after what happened to Jed.” When Rueben still wouldn’t look away, Gage stood up - towering over him formidably. Rueben’s brown fur stood up at his neck, but he backed down quickly. I breathed a sigh of relief when Gage returned to my side.
Despite my disapproval, I couldn’t help but appreciate the effectiveness of the boys’ hunting skills. I let my instincts take over as I began to feed. Blood spilled on my feet, but I barely noticed.
Since I had just hunted a few days ago, I didn’t eat much. Happily, we were close to the stream so I could wash up easily. I stepped into the cool water, watching it run red. Too late, I remembered that I should have let the pack clean the blood off me. I rejected the idea almost immediately. They would probably be repulsed by the thought. They were just a young pack. Bella’s boys were old.
I pressed my soiled muzzle in the water, sneezing when it hit my nostrils. Like a shadow, Gage came up behind me and pressed his nose into my side. “What?” I was instantly alarmed, but the boys were all still eating.
He whined low in his throat and pushed his head in my side again. I was confused, but I still followed him and lay down when he did. Very gently, he began licking my face. It was a soothing sensation, relaxing me immediately. I closed my eyes in contentment. Had I been a cat, I could be purring.
It wasn’t long before Tyson and Jed joined us. They were timid at first, but it was a natural thing to do, and we all relaxed as the boys eagerly cleaned my muzzle.
Chapter Eleven
Transformations
“What’s your favorite color?” I asked childishly. Gage and I were sitting on the front step of the cabin, waiting for a shooting star so we could make a wish. He had his arm draped over my shoulder and I pressed close to his side.
“Pink,” he answered without hesitation. I laughed loudly. “You are such a liar.”
His laughter joined mine, creating an easy space around us. “That room was all Blake’s idea.”
“It’s a lovely room.” My voice was too high to be considered serious.
“I thought all girls liked pink.”
I wrinkled my nose. �
�Blake said the same thing. Don’t you know by now that I’m not your garden variety girl?”
“Your favorite color isn’t black, is it?”
In my mind flashed an image of a large black wolf with grey patches. “There’s nothing wrong with black.” I had to look away from him before he read too much in my blush.
“I think I like red the best.” He gently pushed my hair off the side of my face.
I bit my smile back before it got embarrassing. “Red is a nice color,” I agreed with a small giggle.
Gage removed his arm from my shoulder, leaving an almost unbearably cold spot in its place. Just as I was ready to be disappointed, he intertwined his fingers in mine. “It’s amazing,” he murmured.
“What’s amazing?” I brought our joined hands over to rest in my lap. I traced the scars along his arm with my other hand.
“You.” My breath caught when he leaned over to kiss the spot just below my eye.
Butterflies took flight and multiplied over and over again in my stomach. If only I was brave enough to turn to him, it would be so easy to kiss him. The mood was right, the night was perfect, and he was so close to me that his breath tickled my ear. I was a coward, though, and I just sat there quietly gasping for air.
Eventually, the moment passed and we were just two friends enjoying the night. “Gage?” I began quietly.
“Yeah?”
“What’s your real name?”
I realized too late that this was the wrong question to ask. He stiffened beside me. “Why do you ask?” Even his voice was stiff.
“I just … ” I swallowed hard. “I thought we were friends.”
He hesitated. “We are.”
“As your friend, I thought I should call you by your real name.” What was the big deal, anyway?
“I can’t tell you my name, Willow. I’ve been known as Gage for a few years now, though.”
“You can’t tell me or you won’t tell me?” I bit the inside of my cheek. A voice in the back of my head told me to shut up, that it wasn’t really important.
He got up slowly, shattering the wonderful night. “You have school tomorrow.”