by Amy Richie
“You should go home.”
“Not alone,” I fought to keep my voice strong enough to be heard.
Rueben protested loudly in a series of long growls. Gage turned and I got my first glimpse of his dark scowl; if I had enough strength I would have tucked my tail and run home. So I was shocked when Rueben stood his ground.
“Why aren’t you afraid?” Carlie whispered loudly.
“Because I have no reason to be afraid.” I already knew he was morphing before he burst into black fur but when Carlie screamed it made my heart stutter.
“Gage,” I moaned, but it was too late. He was already up on his two hind legs, locked in a bizarre dance with Rueben.
I knew it was no dance, though, and it wasn’t playful at all. Part of me wanted to appreciate the strength in the two wolves. Part of me knew this day had to come. But most of me hurt too much to think about anything else. And then I had to worry about what Carlie was seeing.
If I die, will I turn back into a girl?
My wandering morbid thought distracted Gage long enough for Rueben to get his teeth clamped on his black coat. Gage reared up ferociously, his long teeth glistening in the sunlight. His loud snarl made me cringe. A stray thought worried about Carlie but it was getting difficult to focus on anything. Why wasn’t I healing?
As my eyes slowly drifted closed I saw flashes of grey and black fur and heard the snarls of Rueben and Gage. I couldn’t tell who was winning but figured it wasn’t Rueben. I only hoped that he would back down so Gage wouldn’t seriously hurt him.
In my dream I was running, almost flying, over the hills. Ivy was beside me, her beautiful rusty color blazing in the sun. I couldn’t see anyone else there but I felt them. I felt my pack. Then suddenly Ivy was gone. Where was she?
“Willow!” Ivy called in her wispy dream voice. “Willow, come find me.”
It was a game we used to play when we were little. There was a dense wooded area in our back yard. Most of the trees were either dead or dying but Bella let us play back there. We would take turns hiding and finding each other.
“Willow!”
“Ivy, I don’t know where you are. Come out now.”
“Come find me, Willow. Come find me before he does.”
“Who? Before who does?” But I already knew. The only one Ivy would be afraid of - who she would be hiding from. Mikhaul. “Ivy?”
“Willow, come find me!”
“Ivy?” My voice was becoming hysterical. “Come out right now.”
“Willow.” Her voice came from so far away now.
“Ivy?” No answer. “Ivy,” I screamed louder. Still no answer.
“Ivy.” I sat straight up in my bed. The room was so completely dark that I was momentarily disoriented. “Ivy?”
“Willow, are you alright?” a male voice asked from somewhere close.
“Jed?” Why was Jed in my room?
“Yeah, it’s me.”
My shoulder felt stiff and heavy. I winced when I put my weight on it to help myself stand up. “Where is everyone?”
“You shouldn’t try to stand up. Gage said … ”
“Gage?” The memories slowly started to come back. The boys were helping me morph. Then Carlie was there. And she was bleeding, but it was a trap. Rueben tried to attack her, and then someone attacked me. Gage and Rueben. “Ugh,” I groaned loudly and sank back on the bed.
“Are you ok?”
“Turn on the light.”
“I don’t know … ”
“Come on Jed, I can’t see anything.”
“Gage said you should sleep.”
“Where is he?”
“Took Carlie home.”
“Carlie?” Everything was beginning to turn fuzzy again. Maybe I did need to lie down for a little while longer.
When I opened my eyes again, sunlight was streaming in dust filled beams through my large bedroom window. Jed was no longer in my room, no one was.
My head felt clearer than it had. I remembered everything, even the things I would rather forget. Rodney had bitten me. I closed my eyes tight, two small tears escaped from the sides and seeped down my cheeks. Where was he? He must be feeling horrible. And Rueben. Where was Ruben? Was he all right? Did Carlie make it home?
“Everyone is fine.” The sound of Gage’s voice made my eyes snap open.
“Gage.” I half smiled up at him.
He tried to smile back. “How is your shoulder?”
“It’s ok.”
“How are you?”
I sniffed loudly. “I’ve had better mornings.” My voice broke.
Gage crawled into bed beside me and wrapped his arm gently around my shoulder. “This is my fault,” he mumbled.
“What?”
“It’s my fault. All of this.” He buried his face into the side of my neck.
“How do you figure?”
“I hurt you and I couldn’t bear to do that again, but I knew you wanted to learn.” He raised his tortured eyes to my annoyed ones. “I left so they would teach you.”
“That’s why you left?”
“I knew you would make them, but not with me there so I disappeared. I shouldn’t have left you. I knew they were young. I should never … ”
“No,” I cut him off abruptly. “This is my fault. I just keep messing up. I’m not made to be a leader, Gage.”
“Willow.”
“Okay, maybe that’s what I was made for, but it’s not in me. I can’t do it. I don’t want to. In a few months Ivy will come back and … ”
“Ivy?”
“My sister.”
“I heard you calling for her last night.”
“I had a dream. A bad dream.” I shuddered at the memory.
“You’re ok now.” He pulled me tight to his chest until I finally felt safe again.
Chapter Twenty
Normal is Overrated
“Cheerleading tryouts are today, you nervous?” I stared at Gage in open-mouthed wonder.
How could he possibly be concerned with something like cheerleading tryouts after the last two days we had had?
The day before had been spent healing and having heated discussions on whether or not to kick Rodney out of the pack. Healing, I learned, took a lot longer when the bite was from another wolf.
I was surprised at how little Gage had to say about Rodney’s pack membership. He merely stood as a stoic statue not more than a foot from my side as Rueben grew angrier that Rodney was staying.
“I can’t believe you have nothing to say about this,” he yelled at Gage.
“I will stand by Willow’s decision,” he glared, “she leads this pack - not you.”
“He could have killed your girlfriend. He’s unstable,” Rueben continued with a red face. “He needs to leave this pack.” He glared at Gage with narrowed eyes. “I say that anyone that can’t be trusted around our female needs to leave.”
I had glanced to where Rodney cringed against the wall, too ashamed to look at me. It had been easy to make my decision. “He stays.”
“Do you realize what could have happened?” Surely Rueben would have bitten clear through his jaw, the way he clenched it in his anger.
“As I recall, none of you obeyed her,” Gage said, causing Rueben to pale. “She is a young leader and you are young wolves. That needs to be remembered at all times.”
“I wouldn’t have hurt her,” Rueben sulked.
“What if it had been you she had attacked?” Gage asked. Rueben fell silent.
“Anyway,” I said with forced cheer, “no harm done.” Several pairs of eyes glared my way. “No permanent damage,” I amended. “Rodney is one of us. We stick together.” I sat next to him on the floor and laid my head on his shoulder even when he tried to pull away from me. “No matter what.”
“Rueben’s right,” Rodney mumbled, “I can’t be trusted. I can’t believe what I did.” His eyes filled with tears as he glanced down at m
y heavily bandaged shoulder.
“I’m fine,” I insisted - again. Gage had bandaged me up tightly and I really could barely even feel it afterwards. I was much more worried about seeing Carlie again. “We stick together.”
That hadn’t been the final word on the subject but Rodney stayed with us. At first he tried to remain distant but as the day wore on and he realized that I would in fact be fine, he started to relax.
He stayed close by my side - either for his own protection or to make sure I stayed safe - I wasn’t sure which. Gage laughed along with me; both of us trying to cool the thick tension. Always just below the calm was a raging panic. What would Carlie say? What had she seen? What would we do now?
“I can’t believe you are worried about stupid tryouts.” I flung my uneaten toast back on my plate. “I’m not even going to try out anymore.”
His eyes narrowed disapprovingly as he reached across the table and grabbed up my discarded toast. “You have to.” He smeared grape jelly on it and handed it back to me. “It’s up to you to keep us all normal.”
“Normal?” I shoved a piece of the toast into my mouth and was just barely able to chew it enough to allow it to slide down my throat. I had to wash it down with a gulp of OJ. “It’s impossible.”
“Maybe.” He shrugged.
“We’re going to have to move.” His eyes narrowed again when I thought of throwing the toast back down so instead I took another bite.
“We may have to. It’s your decision to make, but … ” he paused dramatically as he spread jelly on his own toast and took a slow bite.
“But what?”
“Would you like to hear my advice?”
“Yes,” I said through clenched teeth.
“Go to your cheerleading tryouts. Shake your … you know, pom poms or whatever they call them.”
Any other day, any other conversation, I might have laughed at the way his face flushed red. I could only stare at him now. “Why?”
“Isn’t that what teen girls do?”
“You know what teen girls don’t do, Gage?” I stood up to empty my plate before he could make me eat anymore. “They don’t turn into monster wolves and lead packs of other monster wolves.”
“Carlie knew about us.” His voice grew pensive but his back was to me so I couldn’t see his expression. “She didn’t freak out as much as she should have.”
“That’s a good thing - right?”
“Just … different.”
I heard a car honk outside. “I have to go.” I leaned over to kiss him quickly on the cheek but he seemed to barely notice.
“Even when I morphed back and walked her home, she walked beside me; not behind me or running from me. She wasn’t as scared as she was curious. She knows so much more than what she is saying. What does she want?”
“I don’t know, Gage, maybe a silver bullet?”
He rolled his eyes. “No, she doesn’t want to kill us.”
“Great. Maybe we can all cozy up and become BFFs. Paint each other’s nails and have sleepovers.” My voice dripped with sarcasm that finally made him look at me.
He smiled. “Just talk to her.” He leaned forward to kiss my lips lightly.
“I’ll try.” The horn blared again. “Gotta go.”
“Good luck,” he called as I ran out the front door, my stomach still in knots.
Lindsey and Aubrey were both waiting for us at the front door when we got to school. Rueben still walked close to me, but I was only searching for one person. And she was nowhere to be seen.
“We missed you at the Lounge on Saturday.” Aubrey slinked her thin body close to Rueben’s side and turned to kiss my cheek.
“We were busy,” I snapped.
“Oh.” She raised her eyebrows knowingly.
My mouth fell open while Rueben grinned. I slapped his chest until the grin faded. “Not like that. We just … hung out.”
“I’m sure you did.” Her eye dropped into a slow wink.
“Have you seen Carlie?” I blurted.
“Carlie?”
“Yeah. Brown hair, green eyes, about this tall.” I held my hand up to almost my height.
Lindsey’s mouth fell open at the bite in my tone, but I was almost beyond caring. “Geesh, Willow, are you PMSing?”
“She’s just nervous about the tryouts today.” Rueben snaked his arm around my waist.
“Oh!” Lindsey clapped her hands together. “Did you practice this weekend?” No. “Show us!”
“I’m not … ” I was cut off by the first shrill of the morning bell. “I have to get to class.” Carlie would be there. I shrugged away from Rueben and made a beeline for my locker.
The door opened easier than usual this morning, or maybe I just used more force than I realized. I bent low to shuffle through the mess on the bottom for my copy of Pride and Prejudice, which I was way behind in. I groaned at the thought of failing the quiz this morning.
“Hey Willow,” said a soft voice next to my locker.
“Carlie!” I stood up quickly, cracking my head on the top shelf. “Ow!” I clamped my hand on my forehead.
“Are you ok?” she half chuckled. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”
“You didn’t,” my voice squeaked, “and I’m fine.” I worked to keep my eyes their normal size.
“How’s your shoulder?”
“Fine.” I slammed my locker closed and turned to face Carlie head on. Bad idea. I looked down at my books. “You going to class?”
“Yep.” She turned away but waited for me to fall into step with her.
“Are you … ”
“I watched you, Willow,” she said suddenly.
“Watched me? Do what?”
“This weekend.”
My ears burned hot. “Let’s just kill her. We can dispose of the body and move on.” Steven’s calm voice came back to me. I had scoffed at his idea yesterday but now …
“I don’t mean to creep you out. I just wanted to see.”
“What did you see?” I asked around the lump in my throat.
“Probably too much.”
My steps faltered. “Oh.”
“But I’m not going to tell anyone.”
“Oh.”
“You can trust me.”
“Oh.” Why couldn’t I say anything else?
“Listen.” She stopped just outside our classroom door and turned to face me. Her face was only a few inches from my own. “I’m not going to tell anyone.”
“All those things you’ve been saying … ”
“I didn’t really believe them. Now I know differently.”
“Carlie … ”
A small cluster of girls walked by us whispering and giggling. “Shh. Can you come to my house after school? We can talk then.”
“I have tryouts,” I blurted quickly. No way was I going to her house.
“After tryouts.”
“I … ”
“I’ll be there, too; if you need any help.”
Of course she would be there - she was a cheerleader after all. “I … ”
“All right then, it’s settled.” She practically skipped ahead of me into English.
I stood out in the hallway even after everyone else in the halls had scuttled to their classes. Long after the final bell rang I stood alone in the hallway, trying to be reasonable.
I could call the boys to me and we could leave this town within the hour. I would just have to go somewhere safe and morph and they would hear me when I called. Maybe that would be the best thing to do. The most responsible. They wouldn’t object. They would do whatever I told them to do.
But maybe Carlie just wanted to talk. Gage did tell me to talk to her. He didn’t seem anxious about her knowing too much. He just wanted to know what she knew.
Most of me didn’t want to leave Grover. If only …
“Miss Bennett, what are you doing out here?” Miss Riley asked. I hadn’t even heard her coming.
“I’m just … nervo
us.”
“About what?”
“Quiz … today.”
Well, there was a quiz. Before this morning, I had felt reasonably confident that I would pass it. After all, I had watched the BBC version of Pride and Prejudice, which was practically like reading the book.
“I’m sure you’ll do fine, dear,” she said kindly. “Now get in there.”
With a tight smile of my own I pushed open the door. The first pair of eyes that met mine were bright green and entirely too excited. Great, I huffed under my breath, now I wouldn’t be able to read a single question.
Chapter Twenty-One
Cheerleading Tryouts
Time seemed trapped that day; trapped by a madman with an hourglass, allowing the sand out at strange intervals. Parts of the day took so long and then suddenly it was time for lunch.
I had a hard time concentrating on eating. I let Rodney sit with me, which invited the rest of the pack, but I felt safer with them near me. At least this way we would all be together if we needed to make a fast get away. Carlie watched us the entire time, which didn’t help my concentration any.
“Are you still going to the tryouts tonight?” Rodney asked nervously.
“Of course she is,” Aubrey answered before I could say anything.
I nodded to Rodney. “Yeah. I’m a little sore but I’m ok.”
“Sore from what?”
“I fell.”
“You’re such a clumsy person, Willow,” Lindsey laughed.
I couldn’t manage even a forced laugh. I looked again at Carlie, but for once she wasn’t looking at me. There had to be something I could do about her. Besides running and besides murder.
“I saw you talking to her this morning,” Steven spoke low so that only I could hear him.
“She was talking to me.”
“About?”
“About what she saw. She was spying on us … you know … after everything happened.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know.” I shifted uncomfortably.
“Did she say what she wanted?”
“She wants to talk.” I shifted the food around on my plate. “Today after school.”
“Are you going?”