by Fiona Cole
“How can you file for divorce without even talking to me?”
I shoved my hurt to the side and got to the heart of why I brought her here.
“How can you use me—marry me—to steal my family’s company—my mother’s company?”
Apparently, she was getting to the heart of her issues too. Neither of us held back punches. My anger had been directed at her filing for divorce without even giving me a fighting chance. I hated to lose—but I refused to lose a race I never got a chance to run.
But now that I stood there, ready to get answers to my questions, I realized I had to answer hers too. I knew I always would, but I stood there like a kid who stared at a test he never studied for. I had the answers, but they were jumbled and raw. They floated through my head without structure and came with more honest pain than I’d ever shared with anyone.
The discomfort of them had me pulling back—avoiding until I could control the direction.
“Verana…”
“No. No,” she said, crossing her arms and straightening her back. “Don’t you dare stand there like I’m the one who’s in the wrong. You dragged me here. You put me in this position. You did this, Nicholas, so don’t you dare act like me filing for divorce is the issue.”
“It is when you haven’t even talked to me. There are two sides to every story.”
“So, you mean to tell me there is a side that makes this all okay?” she asked, sarcasm and mock-hope dripped from her words. “There’s a side that makes it okay that you used me, lied to me, stole from me? God, Nicholas.” She threw her hands up, laughing without humor. “You made me your accomplice in stealing from me. You conned me into helping you.”
“I never meant for it to go like this. I never sought you out. You just…just appeared like an opportunity I couldn’t turn away from.”
“An opportunity?” she screeched. “I’m a real person. Not some pawn.”
“I know that. But Verana, I never expected you. You asked me why I never settled down, and I told you the truth. I gave every ounce of myself to my work because building my company was my revenge. For over a decade, all I did was focus on getting retribution for my family.”
“So, you took my legacy to avenge yours?”
“Lorenzo was running your legacy into the ground,” I shouted, losing my patience. Yes, I had planned to dismantle Mariano Shipping, but it wasn’t like it wasn’t already going down. “A company that had been running for generations shouldn’t have taken only a few years to take over. If you hadn’t come along, I would have still succeeded within the next five years. All because Mariano Shipping was a sinking ship.”
“No.” She exhaled the word like the truth knocked the wind from her. “No. That’s not true.”
“Why do you think your father was pushing you onto Camden? Because he needed his father’s money to keep the company going. And the contract your grandparents wrote stated that the company needed to be passed down to a man carrying the Mariano name. That’s why your father changed his name when he married your mother. He promised Camden’s father that if he bought into the company, Camden could marry you, and they’d hyphenate the name.”
She shook her head, her beautiful lips pulling down. I wanted to pull her into my arms and soothe her. I hated that she hurt.
“I may have taken the opportunity you gave me, but at least I had something to offer in return. With your father, you would have been trapped with a foul man like Camden. I would have given you freedom.”
“This is not freedom. I’m just another pawn stolen for someone else’s side.”
“Are you saying you would have rather stayed with Camden?”
“I’m saying I would have rather made my own choices.”
“You did make your own choices.”
“Yeah, at what cost? Five years of my life earning it?” She tipped her head to the side and narrowed her eyes. “Tell me, Nico. Why five when you only needed a month? Did you want to keep me as a trophy until you were done with me? One up my father’s bad deed by rubbing me in his face?”
“No one forced you to sign,” I growled. I wanted to cover her mouth and tell her she was anything but a simple trophy.
“I signed based on lies. You lied to get what you wanted. Just like my father.”
“Don’t compare me to him,” I warned.
“Why? You used me to get what you wanted. You stole a company from my family because he took yours.”
“He took everything from me,” I bellowed.
She jerked back, and I immediately regretted my loss of control. Taking a deep breath, I shoved past the flare of anger of being compared to Lorenzo. “He didn’t just take my company. He took all my grandpa had left of his family—of his wife. And he did it because he’s a lying, greedy snake. He did it because he played dirty and enjoyed winning for no other reason than he could.”
“And why did you?”
“Because he didn’t deserve Mariano Shipping,” I said without remorse. “I hate that I lied to you, but I have no regrets about taking Mariano Shipping from him.”
“It’s not just that you lied to me, Nicholas. You used me. You used me to take my legacy—to take my last connection to my mother. You knew how much I cherished that, and you stole it.” Her voice cracked, and she looked on the verge of collapsing—the anger fading and leaving her pain behind. Watching her try to look strong, when I knew how much she hurt, gutted me. “Even worse, you made me feel different. For the first time, I thought someone saw me for more than a way to get what they wanted—who saw me for all I had to offer. And I guess you did,” she said with a laugh. “Just not what I was offering willingly. You made me think you wanted me for me. You made me lo—” She cut her words off like if she didn’t say it, she could make it not true.
“This didn’t go how I planned, Verana. I do see you. I…care about you. I didn’t plan on it, but you made me lo—”
“Don’t.” Her eyes slid shut, and she shook her head. “No more lies. I can’t handle any more.” With a swallow, she opened her eyes and leveled me with a blank stare. “What’s done is done. The damage is done, and I’m too tired of fighting it. You won, and I lost. At least have the decency to let me go. I don’t want to stand by your side for five more years only to watch you take apart my company. I can’t.”
My jaw clenched tight, holding me back from telling her I’d do the right thing. I wanted to grab her shoulders and make her listen, but she wouldn’t hear me. My body fought against letting her go when I knew it had to be done.
She heaved a sigh, her shoulders falling forward like she couldn’t fight another moment. “I’m going to bed in the guest room. It’s too late to bother going back to Raelynn’s. Tomorrow morning, I’ll grab a few things and leave. Please, let me go.”
Again, I stood like a statue, stoically silent, unable to say yes. We stared each other down in the dark apartment, the lights from the kitchen, casting her sharp cheeks with a luminous glow. But it also highlighted the dark shadows under her eyes, her downturned mouth I wanted to kiss into a smile. I missed her dimples, and I knew if I kept her here, I’d never see them again.
Day in and day out, I’d be faced with her disappointment and hurt. There’d be no honeymoon I could seduce her on. Verana wasn’t a woman who was fooled easily and definitely never more than once.
So, I remained silent, forcing myself to let the regret, and my own hurt bleed through. I couldn’t say the words, but I could let her in. I owed her so much more, but it was all I could make myself give now. Unfortunately, it only made her hurt show more, and tears welled.
But she blinked them back. “Goodnight, Nico,” she whispered, walking past me.
I let her go, just like I knew I would in the morning.
The click of her door mimicked the click in my mind, unleashing the torrent of words I wanted to say. She’d come at me swinging like I deserved, and it was like my body went into fight mode, locking down any weaknesses. Now that she was gone, they flooded out.
I’m not dismantling the company.
I made it for five years because I wanted you—for you.
I see you.
I care for you.
Please, don’t leave.
You’re more important than any revenge.
I love you.
My muscles twitched, wanting to go to her and say them.
But the reality was that she was right. What was done was done. And If I cared for her, I’d give her the true freedom she deserved.
But first, I had phone calls to make.
I had to dig into the back of my liquor cabinet, but I found the unopened bottle I was looking for, knowing it was going to be a long night.
My actions got me here, and my lips remained clamped around all the words I wanted to say, but I could show her.
Sitting down at the table, I skipped the glass and got to work.
Thirty-Eight
Vera
Lorenzo was running your legacy into the ground.
I do see you.
I…care about you.
The words had struggled to escape, and I’d wondered if he’d ever said it to anyone before. But then I realized it hadn’t mattered because it was most likely another ploy to get me to stay. He most likely just needed something from me. Why else would anyone want me around unless I proved useful to their needs? As long as I stayed quiet and played by their rules.
Our argument wreaked chaos through the night, generating one thought after the other until my head throbbed under the weight of it all. As soon as I’d closed the door to the guest room, the first sob broke free, and I’d rushed to the shower, turning the water scalding hot to wash it all away. The anger, the hurt, the want, the need…the love. I wanted it all gone because it grew too big to bear. I’d stepped from the shower and swiped the steam from the mirror, looking at the shell of a woman looking back—not recognizing her.
The last time I hadn’t recognized my reflection had been on the yacht, with Nico behind me, making me his. I’d wanted to be that woman. I’d wanted to be his.
I didn’t want to be this version of myself, but I didn’t see a future where I looked in the mirror and saw anything other than what I lost.
Do you have to lose him?
My biggest fear at seeing Nico again, reared its head. I’d avoided him because—despite the lies and pain—I loved him. I wanted to be the woman he’d set free, and I didn’t want to face what I would sacrifice of myself to make it happen. I didn’t want to face the chance that I’d be a woman to turn a blind eye to lying because of love. I wanted to love myself more than to be in that kind of relationship.
By the time the sun rose the next morning, I’d maybe had only a few hours of sleep.
I squinted my puffy eyes against the bright rays of light creeping across the floor. Rolling to my back, I dug my hands into my hair to relieve some of the pounding pressure from a night of crying.
Staring up at the fan, I replayed our conversation one more time.
Empathy for what he’d gone through mixed with anger from being used. I swayed like a pendulum from one side to the next, struggling to keep up and process it all. I understood his anger—I was angry for him. I understood his need for revenge.
I just didn’t understand why he had to make me fall in love with him to make it happen.
Taking a deep breath, I flung the covers back and sat up. I checked the time and found about a hundred messages from Raelynn and a few from Nova. I’d messaged Rae to let her know I was physically still alive but going to bed and muted my notification.
Raelynn: I’m so sorry. It’s my fault I made you go. I should have nut-punched him. I just…I just thought any decision you made would feel better once you heard him out.
Raelynn: I love you.
Raelynn: Do you want me to come get you?
Raelynn: Did I mention I was sorry?
Nova: Raelynn called me. She says not to hate her.
Nova: I won’t pretend to know what you’re going through, but I will suggest not making any decisions until your emotions calm down. I’d probably feel a little violent if someone carried me out, too. But give yourself permission to take in his words without your anger questioning it all. Yes, he lied, and we should make him suffer for it…but maybe give him a chance to explain.
Nova: Don’t let your anger make his explanation fall on deaf ears. Don’t let your anger make all the choices. It’s okay to listen and take time to process it. It’s okay to believe that not everything was a lie. Give yourself permission to think on it. Speaking from experience, but sometimes once a decision is made—especially in anger—it can’t be undone. So be 100% sure it’s the right one.
Me: But how do I know if it wasn’t all a lie?
I didn’t know if Nova, wherever she was, even had service in her camper van, but I needed her calm rationale more than ever.
What if everything wasn’t a lie?
That was the million-dollar question—the one I wanted to believe, but the one I was scared to hope for. The one I was terrified would have me compromising myself to believe. When the dots started bouncing on my screen, I leaned forward and held my breath, thanking the phone gods for giving Nova service.
Nova: You have to listen and make the best decision.
Me: But what if I make a decision because I love him, and I sacrifice respect just to be with him.
Nova: You’d never do that. I know you. You wouldn’t even sacrifice them for the traditions your mother left you and marry Camden. You’re good, Verana, and you want to follow the rules that people set out for you, but you have a line. Have confidence in that line.
Nova: If it helps, I don’t think it was all a lie. I saw the way he looked at you, walking down the aisle.
Tears sprang to my eyes. My wedding day. It had been the first day Nico and I had kissed. The first day we’d begun to let our walls down.
Had it all been an act?
But why would he start letting his walls down then after we were married? He’d already gotten what he wanted. Why would he have been more respectful and open on our honeymoon when he hadn’t needed to?
He seduced information out of you. He made you believe he wanted a long vacation because he wanted to be with you.
The reminder punched me in the chest, and I wanted to storm out all over again.
But Nova’s message to not let emotions make my decision held me rooted to the bed. Taking another deep breath, I closed my eyes and pushed past the fog of hurt to remember it all. I remembered all the moments in between. I remembered the easy laughter. I remembered playing cards one night with no talk of business or family—we just laughed and talked about music.
I remembered how he planned on giving me an opportunity to prove myself at his company. Had he done it from guilt? Or had he really thought I could do it?
That question I could answer with certainty. Nico talked about all he’d done to build his business, and he wouldn’t let guilt put him in a position to where he could look bad in front of a client. If he hadn’t thought I was capable of performing well, he wouldn’t let me.
The nugget of truth blossomed, and I wondered if I set down the bag of emotions I’d clung so tightly to, then maybe I’d find more.
My mind spun round and round.
Did he, or didn’t he? Truth or lie? Really care, or all an act?
Fisting the sheets, I pinched my eyes shut and shook my head, making it all come to a screeching halt. I could do this all day with only a minimal conversation heard in anger.
Maybe I took the first hesitant step and listened.
My phone dinged with another message.
Nova: It’s okay to give him a second chance. If he lies again, we all know Raelynn will beat the shit out of him.
Nova: And I will too.
I laughed, the feeling euphoric and foreign. A few weak laughs had escaped while I’d stayed with Raelynn, but they all felt forced and weighed down. This one was soft but slid through my limbs, infusing a tin
gle of hope that maybe I’d come out on the other side okay. I just didn’t know what that other side looked like and if Nico was there with me.
And I never would, sitting on this bed.
With the reminder that I could leave at any time, that listening to him didn’t mean I had to forgive him, I stood. I pulled on a sundress I’d stowed away in the extra closet and headed out.
I rounded the corner to the living room to find him at the kitchen table with his computer and a stack of papers.
When he finally noticed my presence, I was halfway across the living room, and he watched silently. Setting his glasses aside, he closed his laptop and never once looked away, drinking me in like he’d never get a chance to see me again.
Was that the look of a man who only saw me for a revenge he’d already gotten?
“There’s coffee if you want some,” he finally said once I reached the kitchen.
His voice sounded as rough as he looked—not the sexy morning voice that had been my favorite part of waking up. No, this roughened voice sounded exhausted to its bones. This voice sounded heavy, scraping across his vocal cords like an overweight box against concrete.
“When we got back, I made sure to order the pumpkin spice creamer you liked in Italy. In case you came back,” he added hesitantly.
So simple, yet so sweet. Those were the ways that Nico broke me down on our honeymoon. It hadn’t been the sexual seduction. It had been the simple and sweet gestures that he did because he knew I liked them. Not from me telling him I liked them, but because he saw me. He didn’t have to buy me shot glasses because he knew I collected them to get his revenge. He didn’t have to make my bacon extra crispy even though he liked it soft. He didn’t have to get pumpkin creamer special delivered when I’d given no indication I would come back.
Why would he care if he already had what he wanted?