by Stella Rhys
I thought I had gotten off easy by telling Callum why I’d left New York. I’d left out key details regarding Trish, Dean and my stepbrother, Hunt, of course, but only because they would lead straight into the stories I felt too sick over to speak of. No one knew about them. No one but me. I wanted to keep it that way and I was sure I’d be able to after feeling Callum hold me on the floor and wipe my tears, telling me how much he cared about me no matter what. Though he didn’t say he loved me. I wish I didn’t notice that so hard. But I did, especially now, because there were obviously holes in my story. Big chunks left untold and Callum wasn’t a fool – I was, for hoping that I could ever get past him.
Shit.
This was not how I imagined this night going. I had spent hours getting ready because it was my birthday and I wanted to send Callum off to Scotland with a perfect memory of me. I didn’t want to admit it to myself but I was nervous about him being gone for a week with that flirty writer from the Times.
My scatterbrain cursed whatever had sparked a new fire in his curiosity tonight. It tried but failed to brainstorm new ways to phrase why I couldn’t tell him what happened and by the time the car pulled up in front of the grand entrance, I knew I’d thoroughly lost my mind because I was considering confessing to it all. If I didn’t, he might get on a plane tomorrow and decide in Scotland that he was truly and finally through with my bullshit. He’d have sex with Ana Hale and party with Oz and come back to me with that hollow look and say, “We can’t do this anymore.” I could see it so clearly that I told myself it was time. I’d tell him about Trish and Hunt and Dean. I’d tell him about Sunstone Communities, the gloriously horrific trailer park where I’d been dragged, where I’d done the worst things of my life.
For the suited, capped men who opened the door, I faked a smile. I braved through the stunning horde of people inside the extraordinary front hall, carved from marble and stone, crowned by a seventy-foot ceiling and flanked at the sides by long, twin staircases. It was dim, candle-lit but flashing with a million light bulbs as some huge event took place. “Fashion Week after party,” Isabel whispered to me, her eyes lighting up as they traveled across the throng of attendees full of actors, models, heiresses she recognized and pointed out here and there. “Good thing Callum managed to swing a private room.” I nodded through the madness. It only increased as it began to storm outside, pulling in every last partygoer from the sidewalk pounding with rain. Suddenly, the floor was swarming, a glittering beehive of beautiful people buzzing, murmuring, kissing cheeks and swilling champagne.
Every last bit of it brought out my panic.
I returned the charm and smiles of the other guests. I thanked the women who stopped me to marvel at my earrings. But I felt like the world’s biggest fraud as I swept through the room with Isabel, blending every bit into the elegant crowd as I silently wrapped my hands around the memories of Sunstone and choked them as close to death as I possibly could.
I changed my mind.
I couldn’t tell Callum what happened.
I definitely couldn’t.
I had the confession so ready for him a second ago. It was a dark ball of frenetic energy that bounced around the walls of my mouth and waited with sick anticipation at the tip of my tongue, like it was standing at the edge of a fatal cliff, so ready to dive off and see if it might really survive. I was convinced I was going to take the jump. But I took one look at the beautiful people and I told myself that this was his world. These beautiful people I had to fake being like were exactly who he was, where he came from and people like them would not accept the real me. They would never accept the blood on my hands and the reality of what I’d done. I knew Callum loved me but I also knew my truth would become his lifelong burden. He’d struggle to accept me and we would eventually crash and burn in a heartbreak so much worse the second time around.
“I can’t find them,” Isabel frowned just as I caught the sharp glint of Callum’s stare across the floor. It was already heated. My pulse rose in my chest and in my ears.
“I can’t either,” I lied, walking us briskly away till I’d lost him. I needed air. I needed time to suffocate my confession. “Isabel, I’ll be right back,” I murmured, my heart thumping when through the crowd, Callum’s sharp blue eyes found me again. They locked on me, fixed tight as he matched my pace from the other end of the room, disappearing in and out of my vision across the wall of glittering gowns and tuxes.
“Powder room,” Isabel pointed in its direction. I nodded despite having no intention of going. I didn’t need a powder room. I needed a haven. I needed a place where no one, least of all Callum, could get anywhere near me as I wrangled my bad thoughts and let them know the plan had changed. I couldn’t confess to that filth and horror. Certainly not here.
Eyes wild, I searched the enormous space. My mind was in need of solitude till it was clear again and I had a hunch my best bet lay behind the staircase, closed off with velvet rope and leading to a second floor of pitch black.
My eyes flicked toward Callum. He mirrored my pace, slowing when I did. His predatory gaze tracked me hard, igniting my senses. It flared my pulse in my eardrums to a loud, round, echoing sound. I was outwardly stoic but my heart slammed like a rock in my chest as I weaved through the teeming crowd, air returning to my lungs only when I lost him again. When I did, I waited till the next flurry of camera flashes, for the second of darkness that came after. Click, click, click. Flash, flash, flash.
Once it stopped, I gathered my dress and slipped undetected upstairs.
I white-knuckled the railing and closed my eyes, Trish’s reedy hiss coming right away.
“Lipstick on a piiig!”
I saw her bloodshot eyes. Big but droopy. My stomach turned. Every moment flashed in front of me. Hunt, the bed, their needles, the sling. They throttled me senseless till I was down to the last image – the picture of Trish and the way she looked at me right before I left. Covered in blood, hanging upside down, pleading my name. I dug my glossy nails into the metal as I smothered the memory.
“You think you’re better than me?”
Yes.
“I didn’t do what you did.”
I squeezed my eyes shut.
“Look at it! Look at what you did!”
No.
“Dirty, nasty. Tell that boy what you did!”
No, no, no. I shook my head for Trish, digging my heels into the carpeted steps, reminding myself she couldn’t tell me what to do anymore, repeating it till I didn’t hear her voice any longer. I know what I did. I had to do it. I had to. Hot tears fell but when I opened my eyes, they were stone because Trish was gone. I breathed out hard as I kept climbing up. I’d gotten rid of her.
But my relief was short-lived.
Lightning flashed through the domed window and my heart slammed when I saw Callum’s long silhouette gliding across from me, ascending the opposite staircase. Trish was gone but Callum had found me and he was still furious. If he wasn’t before, he certainly was now. His wolfish gaze hounded me, his every step matching mine, but I was too far from the bottom to stop and turn around. So I kept going up. I felt his seething eyes locked on me the whole way, rattling my bones. I told myself to simply beat him up the stairs – to lock myself in some powder room till he’d taken a breath and looked something other than enraged.
The landing at the top of the staircase was a patch of square marble. Callum reached it a step after me, striding firmly behind me through the dark hall. His footsteps were neat, angry and assertive. My pulse scattered everywhere.
“I’ll be down in a minute!” I exhaled over my shoulder. I was nervous and breathless and he only came faster.
“I don’t care when you’ll be down.”
My pulse rose with the speed of his step.
“Just give me some time, Callum,” I begged as I gathered my dress. I went so fast in my heels I felt like they might break and I thought for a moment he’d finally gone because I didn’t hear him anymore. I tossed a look over
my shoulder and saw nothing in the dark hall. I let out a long breath.
But suddenly, I heard his growl.
“You’ve had enough time.”
I gasped when Callum threw me up against a wall. I couldn’t see a thing but I could feel the cold marble behind me. He pressed my hot skin against it. “I won’t let you run from me again, Lake.” His hand encompassed my throat, his words intense, breathing into my mouth. “Tell me where you went.” I breathed hard, couldn’t speak if I wanted to. “Tell me!” I stared up into the domed skylight, like a massive eye raining tears with me. A flash of lightning and I saw the fire in Callum’s stare as he pushed himself against me. “I’m choosing you, Lake,” he hissed. “I want you. I love you. I love you more than anything else in this world and I know I need to spend the rest of my life with you.” I gasped as he thrust his tongue in my mouth, his kiss immediately dominating me. His words seeped like medicine into my soul but just as I kissed him back, he ripped his lips from mine. “But I can’t fucking do it if you don’t tell me everything, so tell me everything – now.”
“Callum – ”
He thrust against me. “Do it.”
“I just – ”
He thrust again. “Now.”
“Let me get my head straight, Callum!” I shoved him, thrusting my hands in my hair. Fuck. How easy was I? He said it. I love you. Three words from him and I was back to asking myself if I could tell him. I almost wanted to. But how? I tangled my fingers in my hair, tearing apart my up-do. I felt Callum’s hands increasingly impatient on me, tugging at me, ripping at me and stretching down my dress. “Callum, I don’t even know where to start – ”
“Find a place,” he growled, jerking me into his chest. My dress slid out of place on my body. “Do it now.” He fisted handfuls of silk jersey. I felt my breast expose, cold air hit my legs. “Go. Go on, Lake. Do it.”
“Stop it!” I resented the rush as much as the time and the place. “Callum, can’t you just – ”
He slammed me back on the wall. “What?” he demanded.
“I can’t think right now, Callum!”
“Even better. Don’t think, just speak. Let it out. Let it all out and tell me!”
“I will, okay?” My angry words took him by as much surprise as they did me, but everything about him was still hard. His glare was steely and unforgiving. His cock was stiff, pulsing with pressure against my belly.
“Then go on.”
“Not here.”
He tightened his fist on my dress. “That doesn’t work for me.”
My chest pressed so tight to his I had no idea whose pounding heart I was feeling. “It’s going to have to work for you, Callum!”
“I don’t trust you enough for that!”
“Fuck you.” His words stung me, stabbed straight through my heart. I shoved him and he thrust back. I pushed his hands off my body but they grasped at me harder. “You don’t trust me, Callum?” I writhed away as he tore at my dress. “You don’t trust me even a little?”
“Not until you tell me something.”
“Just give me this night!” I fought him, my dress stretching in our tug of war. “We’re here, our friends are here! Where I went isn’t exactly a five-fucking-minute conversation, so just give me my birthday! Give me my new start.” His eyes shone through the dark as I sucked in a sharp breath. “Give it to me, please. Please, Callum.” I pled softer. “Just give it to me.”
His stare burned into me. The moon highlighted his tense, chiseled jaw. He didn’t move. I thought for a second that I stood before a statue but then his eyes flicked like flying daggers to my body. “Just tonight,” he snarled, letting his hard gaze settle on the parts he’d exposed, left naked in our fight. I gasped when I felt his hand on my breast – hot, sudden and harsh. “I’ll give it to you,” Callum muttered, his voice thick with lust as his other hand found its way up my heavy skirt. It snapped the satin of my thong. “But you’ll give me something first.” He sucked my nipple, gave another tug of my panties. “Put those in my hand. Now.”
When he pulled back, I swallowed, glared then gathered my dress. I slid the satin down my legs and stepped out of it, Callum’s eyes pinned to me the entire time. He didn’t look away as he closed his fingers over my panties. He was intimidating and I was breathing jaggedly, nervous, watching him and wanting so badly to just soften him. But the second I reached for him, Callum caught my hands. I panted as he thrust them behind my body and in the dark, felt him winding something around me. Before I could identify what was happening, I was strapped, my wrists bound tight behind my back by my own thong.
“Callum!” I let out a sharp breath. My chest heaved but he stepped back and stared at me with ease now, arousal lifting the corner of his mouth as I tested his knot with growing curiosity. My jaw dropped at its strength. My skin grew hotter with every jerk and thrash that did nothing to loosen it. With pleasure, Callum watched me fight, rumbling something low and satisfied when my other breast sprung free. God, that sound. I gave up shortly after that, losing energy to the need he had rousing deep in my sex. It panged harder and it spread wider as he leaned back, casual on his heels, simply standing there for a moment. At once, he admired and owned me.
And then he was on me.
His hot kiss slammed me into the wall and his hand gathered my dress. Slow first, then faster. Furious handfuls. My breath caught in my throat as I felt air hit both my naked legs. I couldn’t see, had no time to think or move – all I could do was hear the rain on the skylight and feel the heat of his touch. It was starved, angry. My back arched sharply off the wall when his hand slid rough between my thighs. My nails scratched futilely against the marble behind me as his long finger traced a slow, torturous line along the length of my wet seam.
“Tell me you want me inside.”
“I want you inside.”
He teased my opening and groaned as he slid just his fingertips in. “You’re so fucking wet.”
I exhaled. “You made me.”
He slid in a few inches more, moved his fingers in circles that filled me with the slowest, truest definition of torment. “Do you want more, Lake?”
“Please,” I rasped. “I need it.”
“Deep?” I nodded but Callum let me know the answer wouldn’t suffice. “Yes or no. With my name.”
“Yes, Callum, I want it deep!”
He slid all the way inside.
“Oh God.” I moaned but he stifled it with a kiss and pumped immediately into me, my head rolling back. Blood rushed in my veins, flooded me with arousal as I let him take out his aggression, have my body however he wanted. I wanted it too. I enjoyed it and craved it. I only feared it when two other guests snuck up and lingered obliviously at the end of the hall. I went still but Callum didn’t stop his push and pull. In fact, he fucking deepened it. “Callum,” I whispered hotly, my jaw dropping wide open. I needed to silence myself but my hands were still tightly bound. I couldn’t do it and Callum refused to for me. He just pumped relentlessly, wearing the sexiest, most wicked look as he watched my face contort, my tits shake. They bounced for his eyes as I fought and somehow lost against my own thong. It delighted Callum. He knew his knot. He knew I was fighting a losing battle so he wet his lips and had some fun, muttering words of filthy encouragement as he picked up the pace of his stroke.
“No, Callum,” I whispered. “Don’t… don’t make me…”
“You don’t want to come, Lake?” Callum didn’t bother lowering his voice. It sparked the sharpest fear and hottest arousal in me. I thanked God for the dark of the hall and bit back my needy sounds. I couldn’t answer, could only hear the smile in Callum’s voice as he said, “I’ll keep that in mind.”
Just as I felt ready to burst, he withdrew his fingers from me. Tortured, I still thanked God, panic racing my heart till the guests disappeared from the end of the hall, descending back down the stairs.
“Oh God.” I inhaled with relief. But Callum snatched my breath back, gripping the V of my dress an
d ripping it wide open like morning curtains. His tongue mauled my breasts, his hands stretching the top of my dress down my arms till they were bound tighter behind me. He licked me like candy. Every inch of me. He deliberately neglected my tight peaks, running the flat of his tongue along the heavy curve of my breast, drawing circles around the sensitive tips I needed to feel in his mouth. His low, sexy rumble of a laugh came the second I let out a pleading sound.
“What do you want, Lake?” he asked me.
“Suck on it,” I whispered.
“On what?”
“Suck my nipple, please,” I breathed out with torture, sufficiently loud for Callum because he immediately gave me my wish. I moaned as his tongue went to work. Every nerve ending in my body sparked to life as I pebbled stiff under his delicious assault. My sex throbbed, begging wildly for attention, aching to feel the erection that Callum teased by thrusting hard against my leg. I gasped for breath, looking to the skylight. The storm stopped outside, leaving us in pitch dark. “Callum, I need your cock now,” I begged.
He didn’t hold out. My senses climbed as I felt him release me and heard the metal clanking of his belt. I finally fought out of my satin constraints and before I knew it, was stroking the hot silk of his hard-on. Callum groaned. Arousal spilled from my lips when he hoisted and pinned me against the wall. Noise swelled with the crowd downstairs. My sharp cry was lost in the din as Callum penetrated me, squeezing the bottoms of my thighs, slamming into me with burning passion and fury. The moonlight shifted and I saw him again – saw that his stare never left mine, his blue eyes hot and harsh, piercing my soul as he fucked me mercilessly against the wall. I loved his strength. I deserved the roughness, reveled in it and in the sound of his serrated breaths. They hissed out savagely between gnashed teeth, grew sharper, louder with every thrust inside me. My muscles convulsed, a deep orgasm threatening my core. I squeezed my eyes shut but Callum had none of it.