The doorbell rang again, and my head fell back in defeat. Charlie laughed and rolled away, disentangling himself from the bedsheets as he stood and turned, reaching back for me. He pulled me up and out of the bed to him, kissing me hard again before releasing me.
“You get dressed, and I’ll go see who’s at the door.” Charlie gave me a little pat on the rear-end as he turned and headed out of the room, adjusting himself as he went. I smiled to myself, reveling in these newly minted memories that were full of joy and pleasure. I slipped my bra on under my shirt and grabbed my jeans off the floor. I wasn’t trying to impress anyone, and if I had my way, I’d be stripping right back out of these clothes as soon as they were gone anyway, but I had a feeling whoever was at the door was going to put a sizable dent in my plans for the day.
I heard voices downstairs and assumed whoever it was wasn’t a threat, since Charlie had let them in. As I made my way down the stairs, pulling my hair up into a makeshift bun to hide my bedhead, I heard the voice of a woman that didn’t sound familiar. Clearing the ceiling, I saw a red head in a sharp, navy suit with her back to me.
As I stepped onto the landing downstairs, she turned and smiled, and Charlie said, “Dani, this is Ms. Powers, your mom’s attorney.”
“Hello, Danielle. I’ve heard so much about you. It’s nice to finally meet you, though I wish it was under different circumstances,” she said, turning and walking to me as she extended her hand.
I extended my own and shook her hand. “Yes, Ms. Powers. I wish I could say the same, but I didn’t even know my mom had a lawyer.”
“Please, call me Karen. I urged Bella to share this with you, but she was a very secretive woman, and she didn’t want to burden you in your delicate condition.”
I nodded, not sure how to respond to that, then asked, “So, I thought we were going to call you today to go over everything, but here you are. Is there a problem?”
“Oh, no, just urgency. I started making the arrangements your mother requested yesterday, and I ran into a bit of a snag. The local funeral home, Tranquil Transitions, is booked up for the next week, and they were only available to host your mother’s funeral tomorrow. So, if that’s something you’d like to do, we’ll need to make a few decisions today.”
“Um… I… I haven’t even thought about it yet, honestly. And I have no idea how to pay for it, or to deal with the life insurance policy or anything else—”
“That’s what I’m here for. I’ve filed all the proper paperwork and greased the necessary wheels to get the process expedited. In the meantime, I’ll cover costs, and you can pay me back when the life insurance policy is paid. As for the house, I’ve already filed the paperwork to transfer ownership to you. The life insurance policy will also cover the house and property to pay it off, and if you don’t choose to stay here, I can help you sell. All the utilities have been changed over to your name, and there will be a large enough payout to cover school and ensure you don’t have to work another day of your life if you choose not to. I know this is all very sudden and probably unexpected, but it won’t get any easier, so if you’d like, we can sit down and look at arrangements for tomorrow so we can honor your mother’s wishes. She was very adamant that her body not be left in a public space for too long if something should happen to her.”
I knew I was gaping like a fish out of water, but I couldn’t stop. I was so overwhelmed at the influx of information and at the size of the secrets my mother had been keeping from me. I thought we didn’t have any secrets.
I nodded finally, and we headed to the sofa to sit. Charlie left me just long enough to take Shadow for his morning walk. I was impressed the dog hadn’t woken me early for his walk like normal. When they got back, Charlie came straight to me and held my hand as Karen took a seat in the armchair across from us and proceeded to walk me through my mother’s funeral arrangements.
We selected a lovely pewter urn that was available on sight, since my mother had been very specific about being cremated in the event of her death. We discussed who needed to be invited and notified of the funeral, and Karen made lists of everything. Then she pulled out a tablet and we began signing paperwork: for the house, for the utilities, the car, the property, tax purposes, her services, the funeral arrangements. We wandered through our lives together, methodically removing my mother from everything that had been ours.
When we were finally finished, Karen assured me she would contact me as soon as she got the insurance company squared away and that she would be at the funeral the next day. She had a few other things to give to me that my mother had instructed her not to deliver until after the funeral. Then she thanked us for our time, shook my hand again, and she was gone.
I wasn’t sure I’d be able to move, but I knew the longer I sat there letting myself wallow, the more difficult it would be to get up, so I stood and headed to my room while Charlie made us dinner. It had grown late while we were dealing with legalities, and now I had to prepare for tomorrow.
I poured over the clothes in my closet, finding nothing that looked remotely funeral appropriate. Mom always wished I would wear more dresses, and I’d shuddered at the idea. I guess she was finally getting her way. I chuckled as a tear slid down my cheek, and then I had a thought.
I headed downstairs and straight to my mom’s room. I hesitated briefly at the threshold, hand poised over the doorknob but unable to enter. I took a deep breath and turned the knob, pushing the door open and stumbling into her room before I could change my mind. I went straight to my mom’s closet and began going through her clothes, almost immediately finding what I needed. A simple black dress with a pencil skirt bottom that would hit just below my knees, a high neckline, and three-quarter length sleeves. I borrowed a pair of black heels, grateful that we wore roughly the same size of everything.
I took the funeral outfit up to my room and hung it on the bathroom door for tomorrow, then headed back down to meet Charlie and have dinner. We ate in relative silence. Charlie brought dinner into the den and turned on some random old show I didn’t recognize that was neither particularly funny, sad, nor violent. It was just there. After dinner, we took Shadow for another walk. It was uneventful, aside from the surprising number of crows lining the powerlines in the neighborhood and occasionally cawing loudly and startling me. Why were there so many? It was summer. They shouldn’t be migrating right now.
I yawned so many times that Charlie made me go to bed when we got back, so I showered and retired to my room while he cleaned up downstairs. At one point, I heard the front door open and voices momentarily, then the door closed, the locks engaged, and I heard the beeping as the alarm was set before Charlie climbed the stairs. He stepped into the room and hung a suit on my closet door before showering and joining me in the bed. He curled around me, and while I could still find the pleasant memories we’d made this morning, they were overshadowed now by the weight of today and the knowledge of what tomorrow would bring.
17
Charlie
I woke early in the morning, handling some things in the bathroom before Dani woke. The memories from the previous morning haunted my dreams all night and left me in quite a heated state when I woke, but the last thing Dani needed to be worried about today was my uncontrollable reaction to being close to her. My needs didn’t matter for shit right now. Period. And I would do everything in my power to ensure that she didn’t have to worry about me. She needed to remember her mom, honor her, grieve for her.
The guilt was eating me alive though, and it was hard to put it aside, even for her sake. I should’ve been there. I’d never once been bothered by working at that bookstore. It allowed me to be close to Dani, and knowing Dani was one of the single most rewarding experiences of my life. I loved her. Without question, compunction, or conditions. I loved Danielle Shade. And if I hadn’t been at that stupid job, I could’ve been by her side, and I could’ve stopped this. I should’ve stopped this. Now Dani was in pain, and it was my fault. I was supposed to protect her, an
d I’d failed.
When I got back from the bathroom, Dani was awake and sitting up in bed. She turned to look at me, her eyes drifting to my pants and back, and I could see the subtle disappointment in her eyes. Man, that was hard to watch, but I knew we’d have our moment.
“Good morning, beautiful. Do you want to go for a run with me and Shadow since we’re all up early? Then we can have breakfast before we get ready.”
“Sure. That would be good. Who brought your suit last night?”
“Oh, I had a buddy bring it from my place so that I didn’t have to leave. He brought me a few bags from my place too, toiletries and more clothes and shoes and stuff. I left them downstairs last night.”
“Bring them up. I can make some space in the dresser and closet for your stuff. I want you to feel at home while you’re here. Even when you go back home, you’re welcome to leave stuff here so that you don’t have to pack every day you want to stay. I’ll get dressed, and we can go for that run.”
I smiled and nodded, but my heart was in my throat. Leave stuff here? Make space in the closet and dresser? No matter how many times she said it or touched me or kissed me, I still couldn’t believe it. And waking up with her in my arms yesterday morning, seeing her perfect hand wrapped around me… Oh, crap. I was getting hard again remembering it. I adjusted myself, but I saw Dani catch it out of the corner of her eye and smile to herself. Her excitement at my reaction was almost hotter than the things that caused the reactions to begin with. She’d never thought much of herself, and I knew she didn’t see herself clearly.
Dani was easily the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen, on or off the screen or the pages of any magazine. She was breathtaking, but she was also incredibly intelligent, and not just educated-intelligent. She was astute and observant yet still kind and compassionate. She was also passionate, but she never let her emotions get the better of her.
Dani was everything I’d ever wanted in a woman, things I thought I’d be hard-pressed to find even a majority of contained in any one woman, yet here she was, the whole package.
“Hey, hurry it up, will you?” she called from behind me, already in her leggings and running shoes, and zipping up the hoodie she’d pulled on over her t-shirt.
I laughed and said, “Yes, Mistress,” as I slipped on my running shoes and tied them tight. “I’ll shower and change when I get back, so I’m running in this.”
Dani’s eyebrow shot up, and a smirk crept across her face. “Me too. What a small world. Maybe I’ll see you there.” Then she turned and sauntered out of her room and down the stairs ahead of me. Damnit.
Now I was thinking about the shower and Dani in the shower. Running was going to be uncomfortable at this rate, but I managed. We made the neighborhood in good time, even taking the time Shadow needed to do his business, and when we got home, Dani held me to that shower. She insisted there was no time for us to take turns while failing to contain the massive smile on her face. Meanwhile, I was fighting the greatest internal battle known to mankind. I wanted her like I wanted my next breath, like I wanted the sun to rise the next morning, but today was her mother’s funeral. It felt… inappropriate.
“Dani… I don’t wanna… I mean, I want to, but I just…” I stuttered through basically nothing and Dani was staring at me like I’d grown a second head. “I’m not saying this very well. Or at all really. I just, given what today is, I’m afraid of putting you in an uncomfortable position.”
Dani smiled, but it was shallow and weak and didn’t reach her eyes. That was what happened when she was smiling for someone else’s benefit, an expression I’d seen her wear many times.
“Charlie, this week has been a nightmare. Worse than a nightmare. I’m in more pain than I’ve ever experienced in my life, and it never ends. Even when I sleep, which is barely because I wake up over and over throughout the night, and every time I wake up, I remember.”
I knew it was bad, but she was so good at keeping it to herself that I hadn’t seen it. Even knowing, I hadn’t really been able to fathom the depth of her pain. All her life, Dani and her mother had only had one another. They had been each other’s best friends and only family. They had an amazing relationship. And it was all gone in a matter of seconds. Everything she’d ever known. I’d been so focused on her health and safety, I’d missed it.
“It’s okay. It’s not anyone else’s problem but mine to deal with. You’re here, and that’s what matters. I’m not alone, and the few moments of reprieve I’ve had have been because of you. Charlie, this pain is unforgiving, but when I’m with you, when we’re kissing, touching, the pain subsides, and I get just the tiniest break. There are moments when all I can do is disappear into you, and without those breaks, my mind would have crumbled beneath the weight of this. Don’t ever feel bad for wanting me, and please don’t apologize for giving in to me. I’m dealing with everything the other twenty-two or twenty-three hours a day. I want you too. I love you too. And the last thing my mother taught me was not to take love for granted when you find it.”
She gestured between us. “This, us, together… This honors her wishes for my life. She didn’t waste a moment of her time with my dad, and years later, after losing him, she never regretted a second of it. All she wanted for me was to be happy, and to experience a love like she had.”
I couldn’t speak for a few moments, frozen in place. She watched and waited patiently, nothing shy or uncertain in her demeanor for maybe the first time. Finally, I reached for her, brushing the few errant hairs away from her face, and I knew she could see my decision in my eyes. Watching her eyes dilate and her breath quicken made it difficult to keep my head.
I walked to her and wrapped my arms around her, pulling her to me and resting my forehead against hers.
“I want you to always remember… this is your fault. You told me never to hold back.”
She laughed reflexively, but rather than breaking the spell that seemed to be over the room, it amplified it. It was the most beautiful sound I’d ever heard, second only to her saying she loved me. I honestly didn’t know if she realized she’d said it, if she really meant it, or if she just got caught up in the moment, so I didn’t make a big thing of it, but those words were ringing in my ears as I pressed my lips to hers.
I stripped like I’d promised earlier, drawing a few more laughs from her, at least until the sweats came off. She stopped laughing. I couldn’t hide my arousal naked, so it was on display for Dani to see. I held her gaze as I finished pulling off my sweats then stripped her sweaty clothes off piece by piece.
Each new piece of her that was revealed sent my heart into a more frenzied race than the piece before it. I had a feeling that, no matter how many times I laid eyes on her, she would always have this effect on me. Finally, I got to her panties, and I think my heart stopped. It wasn’t like I hadn’t been with other girls before, but no one like Dani. There was no one like Dani.
I carefully slid the black boy shorts down her legs, and she stepped delicately out of them. Then she followed me to the shower, and we climbed in. We each washed our hair and took turns rinsing it out, then I soaped up her shower pouf and washed us both. I couldn’t help myself. Having permission to touch her was an incredibly strong aphrodisiac, and as I moved aside and let the hot water rinse us clean, I couldn’t hold back any longer. I kissed her under the water, my lips tracing down her jaw, neck, and chest, then back to her lips. Turning us to the far end of the shower from the waterspout, I pushed her up against the wall. I dropped to my knees and ran my hands over the wet, clean skin of her shoulders and breasts as my lips trailed their way down her abdomen.
Dani moaned as I dipped my head lower, and she spread her legs a bit wider. The sound of her pleasure made my cock throb, bobbing against the hard floor as I slipped my tongue between her legs, tasting her sweetness. My lips and tongue seemed to have a mind of their own as I devoured her, and her moans and whimpers spurred me on. The fingers of one hand tangled in my hair as her other hand slid to he
r breast, and I groaned against her, attacking with renewed ferocity.
Her breath came quicker, her chest was heaving, and her hips were pressing forward as she pulled my head to her, forcing my lips and tongue to take her heavier. I slid a hand up the inside of her thigh, and my fingers slid along her slit, feeling her hot, pink flesh, wet and ready for me. I toyed with her for a few moments, relishing the sound of her moans and groans turning to whimpers of need as she begged me for more.
“Charlie…”
That single word, spoken so passionately, dripping with need and desire, did me in. I entered her with first one finger, then two, circling and stroking her with one hand as my other hand grabbed my own cock, stroking myself. I could taste her, feel her, and the combination of those sensations and the feel of my own strokes made it all too easy to imagine it was her, her mouth, her tight little—
“Fuck!” I came so hard I almost couldn’t keep pleasuring her, but I forced myself to continue licking and stroking and teasing her as I groaned through the spasm that claimed me. Dani’s fingers in my hair tightened suddenly, and she cried out as she began to shudder and quake above me. I could taste her release on my tongue, and my fingers sped up, pounding into her hard and fast as she screamed my name. My name. Yes, Dani, scream my name, and get ready to scream it more.
Her screams quieted rather suddenly, and her hand in my hair went lax. She dropped both hands behind her onto the tile wall she was leaning against, and her breathing became ragged and chaotic. Her skin grew ice-cold beneath my fingers, and I pulled back to look up at her.
She smiled through the obvious pain and stuttered out through chattering teeth, “Sorry. Bad timing. That was amazing. And unrelated.”
Then she collapsed into my arms, and I wrapped myself around her, desperately trying to keep her warm. “Dani, what do you need? What do I do?”
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