Uh oh!
I looked everywhere but at him because I really didn’t want to talk about this. “Tell me,” he demanded.
“I’ve never really said anything about you. She didn’t really start asking about her daddy until she started preschool and saw all the other dads involved with their daughters. I try my best not to lie to her so whenever she asked me, I… I sort of told her that her daddy left me before I could tell him I was pregnant and I didn’t know where he was or how to find him,” I whispered the last words quickly, hopeful he wouldn’t hear.
“You did lie to her! You! Left! Me!” he shouted in response. I snapped my head up to look at him him. He had some nerve!
Everything from the past, the memories, hit me all at once.
“Have you lost your memory because I sure as hell haven’t?” I asked belligerently. “You left me! What you did to me…God! How dare you blame me! You forced me to leave you. I never would have left you. They would have had to drag me away by my hair kicking and screaming before I EVER would have left you! You fucked a slut in a bathroom while I was standing outside the door listening! You made me leave!” I suddenly became conscious of the fact that I was now shouting and shaking uncontrollably.
I closed my eyes. I couldn’t even look at Landyn’s face. I had to get it together.
“Look, there’s no point in us talking about the past. What we had was too good to be true. I won’t fight about what happened between us, and I’m sorry for my outburst because it doesn’t matter now.”
“You really think it doesn’t matter?” he asked in a surprisingly calm tone considering the turn in subject matter.
My eyes opened. “No. It doesn’t matter. I’ve moved on so there’s nothing to discuss.”
A muscle ticked in his jaw. “You’ve moved on?” he asked through clenched teeth.
“Yes”
“With who?”
“Just like you told me a few seconds ago, it’s none of your business.” I watched as he leapt out of his chair and rounded the desk. He came to stand right in front of me so I had to look up at him; way up. His arms crossed over his chest.
“Who is he?” he asked dangerously.
I licked my lips out of nervous habit. “Don’t do that!” he snapped at me. “Who is he? Does Layla know him?”
See! I knew this would happen.
“You’re scaring me.”
“Good! Who is he?” He repeated.
“Ryan. His name is Ryan. I’ve been seeing him for two years and yes, Layla knows him.” Even though Ryan and I were on the fence at the moment, he was still in my life. Landyn didn’t need to know that though.
“Does Layla think of Ryan as her father?” How was I supposed to answer that? “Ummm… No, I don’t think so. Ryan’s good to her, but…” I stopped myself.
“Landyn, this is really none of your business.”
He uncrossed his arms, placed a hand on each arm of the chair and bellowed in my face. “You’re fucking some guy that you’ve been with for two years and you’re telling me you don’t think Layla thinks of him as a father, and it’s none of my business?” he roared the last part.
Oh no he did not just say that!
I put my palms to his chest and pushed upward. “Get out of my face!” He lifted easily and I rose from my chair, lifted to the balls of my feet and shouted back in his face. “No! She doesn’t think Ryan’s her father! He’s good to her, but he works a lot and I’ve been too busy trying to finish school and keep Layla fed to start my life with him! He’s never even spent the night with us!”
Oh Shit!
What in hell just possessed me to say that? When I saw Landyn’s face relax I leaned away from him quickly, but with lightning speed, Landyn’s hands came up to cup my face and his lips slammed down on mine. I felt his tongue trying to find access, but I didn’t move.
“Lexi, baby, I need you to kiss me.” Hearing him call me ‘Lexi, baby’ hurt, but at the same time I missed it. He was lightly brushing his lips against mine and I knew it was a bad idea, but I needed the kiss too; desperately.
Maybe I just needed some closure. “Please Lexi,” he whispered.
I lifted just enough to bring our lips together fully and opened my mouth for his tongue to slip inside. I never forgot how erotic his kisses alone could be. His mouth was hungry for mine. His hand slid from face to my breast where he lifted and kneaded me gently through my shirt. The arm around my waist pulled me closer.
When I whimpered against his lips, his arm tightened. Effortlessly, he lifted me, twisted our bodies and sat me on his desk, never breaking the kiss.
I opened my legs so his body would remain flush with mine and he ground against me hard. I wrapped my hands around his biceps to hold on and I could feel how much he needed me; everywhere. I moaned, my grip tighted and I rubbed my clothed sweet spot against his erection.
His hands met at my sides and he lifted my baby doll shirt up over my breasts, and pulled down the cups of my bra. His fingers paid close attention to my hard, sensitive nipples. “Oh God,” I breathed into his mouth and he ground harder me. He broke the kiss only for a second to remove my shirt completely.
He wasted no time before his mouth came back to mine.
From behind me, I felt him viciously swip an arm across the top of the desk to clear it. When items finished crashing to the floor, his body lowered me to the desk and he lifted his head to gaze into my eyes.
“I missed you,” he whispered as he lowered his head to trail kisses from my shoulder to my collarbone, then down the side of my breast. He massaged me thoroughly as he worked his kisses to the other side. He took turns teasing both breasts; licking and sucking and flicking the hard tips.
Finally, I felt his hands unbuttoning my jeans. “I need to touch more of you baby. I need to be inside you now.” His voice sounded strangled.
He lifted up suddenly, pulled me off the desk and undressed me completely.
When I was back in my original position, back flat on the desk, his eyes found my sweet spot and he stared at it longingly. His hands snaked up my thighs and he spread them wide as he pulled me to the very edge of the desk.
“Are you wet for me?” he asked hoarsely, just before reaching up with his hand to check for himself.
“Dripping. You were always so fucking wet for me.” His voice was rough and so damn sexy.
“Yes,” I whispered. He dropped between my legs and before I knew what he was doing, he took one long lick to my clit.
My hands flew to his head. I closed my eyes, arched my back and gasped his name. His fingers dug into my hips and I felt cold when I suddenly lost his mouth. “Look at me while I eat you, baby.” My eyes flew open and locked on his. His eyes held mine while he went back to performing magic with his tongue.
“Lan,” I moaned. He groaned. “I want you inside me, Lan,” I whispered.
I heard the rustling of a zipper and watched as Lan slowly backed away me and stood up. I watched as his jeans fell off his hips, but not completely down his legs. He grabbed my ankles, placed my feet on the desk and was just about to crawl on top of me, before I stopped him.
“Please take your shirt off. I want to see you.” I said softly and watched as he swiftly ripped off his shirt and threw it down.
He was a beast; muscles bulging all over. His stomach was so chiseled it was like a work of art, just like I remembered.
What was new were the large Chinese symbols tattooed vertically, from pec to hip bone, on his left ribcage. It was so damn sexy I wanted to lick it. I wanted to lick it so badly that I lifted up and did just that.
His abs tensed when my tongue touched his skin, but he didn’t stop me. He gently placed a hand to the side of my face; thumb caressing the apple of cheek.
“What do the symbols mean?” I asked quietly as I trailed it with my fingers.
“It doesn’t matter,” he answered cuttingly. When I looked at him, he had an odd expression on his face, but I wasn’t in the mood to analyze; especia
lly when I felt movement below. My gaze slide down his body and I caught him stroking himself.
“You’re beautiful,” I whispered my thoughts out loud and met his eyes. He was so beautiful it made me feel uncomfortable. I wasn’t in the same shape as he would remember. I started to cover myself.
“Don’t,” he threatened harshly.
He lowered me, climbed over me quickly and claimed my mouth. I felt the tip of his erection at my core.
“You’re so beautiful it hurts to look at you Lexi. Any marks our daughter left on your body only make you that much sexier to me. I never thought I’d have another chance with you.” He sounded so wistful; I grabbed his face with my hands to kiss him. Now was not the time to rehash the past.
“I need you now,” I said into his mouth and he wasted no time slamming home.
“Lan,” I called out breathlessly.
He grunted into my mouth and slowly started moving in and out. “You feel so fucking good baby.” My inner walls clenched around him and I lifted my hips to meet his. He found an insanely slow and steady rhythm and I wrapped my legs around his waist to hang on.
His hand slid between us to rub my clit and I licked my lips. “I’ve missed you so fucking much. I need to feel you come around me, baby.”
“I’m so close,” I whispered before licking my lips again.
“That’s it baby; lick your lips for me. I know what that means.” His words and the ache between my legs had me lifting off the desk as I cried out came. “Lan! Oh God!”
Nothing could feel better.
In between my moans I heard Lan breath my name against my ear and vicious noises tore from deep in his throat as he filled me.
Landyn fell on top of me as I was slowly coming down from my sex-dazed high. Of their own accord, my fingers slowly drew up and down his back, but when I felt his muscles tense and I froze.
He lifted his head to stare down at me and he didn’t look happy; he looked smug. I knew at that moment he expected this to happen.
Chapter Ten
What have I done?
Oh God. Ryan! The only time I thought about him was when I tried to use him as a verbal weapon against Landyn that evidently backfired because here I was, laid out like a slut on his desk.
And Layla? Ugh!
Twenty minutes! It only took him twenty minutes to get me naked and he’s still inside me! On a desk!
I’m no better than Destiny!
I squeezed my eyes shut. I refused to see the satisfaction on his face when I started crying.
“Yeah,” he said arrogantly while pulling out of me to stand up. “Tell me again the past doesn’t matter.”
I shot off the desk and snatched up my clothes. I hurried to dress and as soon as I finished, I turned and met Landyn’s eyes. All he had to do was zip up his pants and put on his shirt. He never even fully undressed which disgusted me further.
“Everything you just said to me was a trick, wasn’t it? About you missing me? You just had sex with me to prove a point, didn’t you?” I asked sadly, already knowing the answer.
His face gave nothing away, but his words did. “When you go home and explain this to your Ryan, at least you’ll find out just how I felt six years ago when I tried to explain things to you. Hopefully he’ll leave you like you left me,” he said spitefully.
I felt like I was about to choke. I wrapped a hand around my throat and nearly clawed through it just to get the lump out.
“What?” I breathed out the question unsteadily. He continued, “I’d bet every possession I owned that he can’t make you lick your lips or get you off like I can. If he could you wouldn’t have given it up so easily.”
I was going to be sick.
“You son of a bitch. I can’t believe I just let you hurt me again,” I said in a embarrassingly tortured voice. “I hate you.”
“Nothing new there,” he responded swiftly and mockingly.
I fought against the tears threatening to make an appearance. I sucked in just enough air to speak again. “Layla and I will meet you at the park across from my complex tomorrow at five o’clock. You can spend time with her any way you want and I’ll keep my distance, but I will be there. Just please, for Layla’s sake, pretend that you at least like me. I’ll do the same.” I paused for a second trying to make sense of my chaotic thoughts.
“Just so you know, Ryan won’t be finding out about my sickening error in judgment. If you open your mouth, I’ll lie. Who would believe the asshole that everyone knows ripped out my heart. I’ll even make sure everyone finds out that I was pregnant when you did it too,” I sneered at him, my words filled with bitterness.
I didn’t stay to see his reaction. I stormed out the door.
By the time I made it to my truck after being thrown several smirks from Landyn’s employees I was near hysterics.
I’m such an idiot!
I was trying wildly to get the key in the lock of my truck when two bulky arms wrapped around my body and twisted me so my back was pushed against the truck. Landyn pressed fully against me and rested his forehead on my shoulder; against my neck. “Lexi, baby…” he started in his sweet, deep voice, that held a hint of pain, but I cut off the speech that was coming and struggled to push him away.
“Fuck off Landyn. You’ve caused me enough pain to last the rest of my life. It will last the rest of my life,” I raged. I pushed harder, but his arms only squeezed tighter.
“Baby, I didn’t mean what I said. I want to hate you so damn much for keeping my daughter from me. I want to hate you for ever leaving me in the first fucking place and it pisses me off that I can’t. Please just stop crying.”
I shook my head. “I don’t want to talk about this Landyn, just forget it ever happened. I promise it won’t happen again.”
He lifted his head and his expression was that of disappointment. He stared into my eyes as his thumbs caressed my temples. “Not five minutes ago you were calling me ‘Lan’ when I was inside you. Don’t call me Landyn again, baby.”
I gasped. “Excuse me?” I whispered, completely stunned. I never realized I had been calling Lan. I screwed up and my pride took a major hit.
He ignored me.
“I’ll see you and Layla tomorrow at five. You and me, we’ll talk after.” He leaned in without warning and gave me a deliciously wet kiss right before demanding, “No more Ryan. Get rid of him.”
I was too distracted by the kiss, and all that was messed up in my life to respond right away.
He started to turn and walk away, but I grabbed frantically at his arm to stop him. “Landyn, don’t do this. Please don’t do this. What happened in your office never should have happened.” I got quiet for a moment; processing.
“That was just the closure we never had,” I said gently. It was the only stupid excuse that I could think of off the top of my head.
His response was to cup my cheeks with his hands. “There will never be closure between us Lexi. Now that I know about Layla, I’m never letting you out of my life, and that’s a promise.” He dropped his hands, turned and disappeared back into the bar.
Fuck me!
Chapter Eleven
My life was a disaster and to make matters worse, Ryan was sitting outside my apartment when I got home. He stood as I walked up. I felt dirty.
“Sweetheart,” he greeted me as though nothing catastrophic had happened between us. I just ignored him and opened the front door. I really didn’t want to argue to Ryan right now and after just having sex with Landyn, I didn’t even deserve to be in Ryan’s presence, but I wanted to get this over with.
He showed his true colors last night on the phone when he had the nerve to say he wasn’t worried about Layla. How he couldn’t care for her after two years was lost on me, but it was a painful reality. I was no better. I just showed my true colors by hoe-bagging it around with my baby daddy.
Ryan and I were finished as a couple so it didn’t matter which one of us finished it first.
I walked inside and
gestured for him to come in. Once the door shut I headed for the couch and plopped down.
Ryan sat next to me which made me feel even more uncomfortable. I didn’t want him touching me. “What happened?” he asked, but before I could answer I heard Trish. “So! How’d it…” her voice trailed off as soon as she rounded the corner and saw Ryan.
“Oh. Hey Ryan, I didn’t know you were here. I was just having a tea party with Layla… so umm…. Lex, just call me when you’re done.” Then she took off back the way she came.
I turned to face Ryan. “Look, we’re done. I met with Landyn so we’re over. That was your demand, remember? Why are you here?”
He took a deep breath and released it. “Alexis, I just don’t like this whole situation.”
“Yeah, well neither do I. What I needed was your support, and what I got from you was the complete opposite,” I responded with major attitude.
He countered. “I just didn’t want you seeing him, Lex. I’m worried about what’s going to happen between you two and I honestly think you’re stupid enough to go back to him. It’s making me crazy.”
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa…
“Did you just call me stupid?” I asked in a scary whisper and narrowed my eyes.
When he answered me by shrugging his shoulders, I raged, “What has gotten into you Ryan? You’re not even acting like the same person!
“What did you and Landyn discuss?” he asked, completely ignoring my comment
“We talked about Layla and how we’re going break the news to her. We’re meeting at the park tomorrow so they can spend time together.”
“Is that all?” he asked in a disbelieving tone which really pissed me off even though I really didn’t have the right to be. He had every reason not to believe me. I was so confused. I massaged my temples.
Lexi, Baby Page 7