A Man You Can Trust

by Jo McNally

  “You stayed married to a guy who beat you.” He was no longer asking questions. He was accusing. And she didn’t like it.

  “I said he was my husband. Past tense.”

  “Did you leave the first time he hit you?”

  “Am I a suspect in some crime here, Officer?”

  He rubbed the back of his neck, his jaw sawing back and forth. He turned away, staring out the window toward the lake. She waited, not willing to give him any more information until she knew what he was thinking. Of all the reactions she’d anticipated, anger with her hadn’t been one of them. He shoved his hands in his pockets and let out a long breath.

  “I wasn’t ready to hear that you were a victim of domestic violence. I thought it was some stranger...”

  “Does it matter?”

  “It shouldn’t.”

  “No kidding. But it obviously does.” She shook her head. “In the interest of full disclosure, he was a police officer. A patrolman.”

  Nick turned. “He was a cop?”

  “Yes, Nick. He was a cop. Believe it or not, cops do bad stuff, too. Or are you going to stand behind your ‘blue line’ bullshit and deny that?”

  They’d completely traded places now. She was the angry one, while Nick seemed chagrined.

  “The blue line is a brotherhood, not a blindfold. It doesn’t protect criminals.”

  She scoffed at that, remembering the lost friendships and lack of support from the police in Milwaukee after Don was charged. The roadblocks that were thrown up time and again as the district attorney put the case together. The mishandling of evidence that led to the retrial now pending. While Don remained free.

  Nick took a step toward her, and she tensed. He stopped, reaching out to take her hands gently.

  “Okay, let me rephrase that. It shouldn’t be used to protect bad guys. I’m sorry. I...I have some history with domestic abuse victims as a detective. Some bad history.” He gave her hand a squeeze and she looked up to meet his gaze.

  The coldness was gone. She was once again looking at the man who’d whispered kisses across her ear when he thought she was asleep last night. The man she trusted. The corner of his mouth lifted into a half smile.

  “Last week we agreed we both had baggage, Cass. I brushed it off as no big deal. But I’m beginning to suspect the things that led each of us to be in Gallant Lake are a little more connected than we imagined.” He lifted her hand and pressed a kiss to her knuckles. “We had a deal that if you went hiking with me, then I was going to owe you a day of sitting quietly. Today’s that day. Let’s sit and talk.”

  “Actually, I think you said you owed me a day of doing whatever I wanted, and you’re crazy if you think I want to talk about this.”

  “You can have the rest of the day to boss me around. But right now we need to talk. No assumptions. No grilling for answers. Okay?”

  Her voice dropped to almost a whisper. “It makes me feel weak. Vulnerable. Stupid.”

  “Hey.” Nick tipped her chin up with his finger. “I saw from the first moment we met that you were a fighter. Not weak. Not vulnerable. And definitely not stupid. So get those words out of your vocabulary. That’s him talking, and you need to kick that asshole out of your head. Now I understand why you apologize and doubt yourself all the time, and that needs to stop.”

  “It’s not that easy.”

  He pressed a soft kiss on her lips, and she welcomed the warmth of it. “Nothing worthwhile ever is.”

  They settled onto the sofa. She sipped her fresh cup of tea, stalling for time. Nick waited patiently, and she finally had to fill the silence with something. So she started at the beginning.

  She told him how she’d always been a shy kid. Her parents had a volatile marriage and an even more volatile divorce. To avoid their arguments as a child, she’d stayed in her room and lost herself in books. She was good with numbers and awkward with people. Don was the opposite—outgoing, with the ability to charm everyone he met, from children to little old ladies.

  She was working at an insurance company when Don came in to discuss an accident investigation involving one of their clients. She’d been fascinated by the handsome, blue-eyed blond in uniform. He looked like a Nordic god, and he paid attention to her. He was ten years older and had the kind of calm confidence she’d craved. She couldn’t believe it when he asked her out for coffee.

  He made it easy to want to be with him. He took her mom to the ballet, and he took her dad fishing on Lake Michigan. He was the first thing in years that her parents agreed on—they adored him. He treated Cassie like a princess, and if he was a little controlling, he’d always explain that it was only because he loved her so much and wanted the best for her. And she’d believed him. She’d married him, ignoring the little warning signs leading up to the big day.

  “What kind of warning signs?” Nick reached over and took her hand.

  “He made all the decisions about the wedding. Where. When. What I’d wear. Whom we’d invite—which did not include any of my friends from school or my coworkers. He started distancing me from my former life, told me I was ‘too mature for that crowd.’ He pressured me to be like the other, older police wives. I was so eager for his approval that I threw myself into it, not noticing I was leaving my life behind for his.” She took another sip of tea, delaying the words that made her cringe with shame. “We’d been married a year when he hit me for the first time. I had a flat tire one night. A coworker changed it for me, but I was late getting home. Don accused me of lying and told me I must be cheating on him. It was so ridiculous that I laughed, and he slapped me. Hard.”

  Nick didn’t say a word, but his grip tightened on her hand as she told him the rest. About Don’s tearful apology. That time, and the next time, and the next time after that. The way he subtly made everything her fault. If only she wouldn’t “provoke” him, he wouldn’t lose control. The episodes were sporadic at first, and she thought he really meant it every time he said he’d never hurt her again.

  But when he was passed over for sergeant, things took a darker turn. It was all her fault, of course. She’d distracted him because he had to “keep an eye on her” all the time. She’d embarrassed him with her appearance, her words, her behavior. She was flirting with everyone. She didn’t listen. She finally worked up the courage to walk away after he tried to push her down the stairs in their home one night. But leaving didn’t make her safe.

  “He’s the one who assaulted you in the parking garage?”

  She nodded. “I’d gone out with a bunch of people from work to celebrate my birthday. It felt so good to be with people my own age, relaxed and laughing. No one there to criticize my every move. It was the first night I’d felt free in ages. It was a new beginning. On the way back to my car, he jumped me and just started punching, over and over, telling me what a whore I was. He broke my cheekbone and five ribs. Punctured a lung. Slammed my head against the cement so hard that I was unconscious for two days.”

  “Jesus...” Nick’s voice was thick with emotion.

  “Yeah.”

  “So the bastard’s in jail?”

  “Not exactly.” She shrugged. “He went to trial, but there was some mysterious mix-up with the evidence or procedure or something, and the judge declared a mistrial. His new trial is coming up. Meanwhile, he’s on probation and isn’t supposed to leave Milwaukee or contact me in any way. I moved to Cleveland to put some distance between us, but he tracked me down. Got my phone number. My address. Called the office where I worked. Started texting me with threats from a burner phone or something, telling me he was watching me. The DA’s office said that wasn’t possible, but it freaked me out. Don had never met Aunt Cathy, so I called her, changed my name and came to Gallant Lake.”

  Nick stared out at the water. She could tell he had a lot of questions, but he was trapped by his promise not to grill her. He was tense. Angry. With her
? He said he had a “bad history” with domestic violence victims, but she had no idea what that meant. Police went on a lot of those calls, of course. And they tended to be fraught with danger because they were so unpredictable. Did something happen? She reached out to touch his hand, but he flinched and she pulled back, hurt and confused. Never one to stay still for long, Nick got up and started pacing again. He rubbed his neck in agitation, coming to a stop but not making eye contact.

  “I should probably get you back to your place.” Her heart fell.

  “That’s all you have to say?”

  He finally met her gaze, and she was shocked to see his eyes shining with...tears? She stood, and he blinked away from her as if he knew what she’d seen. This wasn’t about her. This reaction of his may have been triggered by her story, but it wasn’t about her. It was about someone else.

  His voice was gruff. “I know I’m being a jackass right now, and I’m sorry. But I need a little time to digest this.”

  “Was it the woman in the photo? Your partner? Was she abused?”

  Cassie knew his partner was dead. Had she been murdered by her spouse?

  His mouth hardened. “Jada wasn’t abused. She would never have put up with tha...” She did her best not to show how much that hurt.

  Nick shook his head. “Shit, I don’t mean it like that. I just...” He stared up at the ceiling. “Jada was killed on the job. By a guy who beat his wife.”

  Cassie sucked in a sharp breath.

  ...the things that brought each of us to Gallant Lake are a little more connected than we imagined...

  “Nick, I’m so sorry.”

  He gave a short laugh, but there was no humor in it. “I haven’t even said those words to you, have I? I didn’t tell you how sorry I am for the hell you went through. That’s how far in my own head I am right now. Look, I need to process this...”

  They stood there for a few minutes, neither of them moving or speaking. He was wound so tight she thought he’d snap. She knew what that felt like. It was her normal. But Nick—this strong man who kept people safe for a living—didn’t know how to deal with the fear of losing control. It wasn’t until she saw a small shudder go through his body that she knew she had to help him. And she had a crazy idea that might snap him out of his melancholy.

  “So the plan is for us to spend today doing what I want to do, right?”

  Nick finally took his eyes off the ceiling and looked at her.

  “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Cass. I’m feeling a little...raw...right now. I won’t be good company. Let me just take you home, okay?” He walked to the sliding glass doors but froze when she placed her hand on his shoulder. She hated to see him in this kind of pain.

  “What I have planned will help you relax. Come on.”

  He pulled the door open, still not looking back. “I don’t think...”

  “You don’t have to think. You just have to do what I say. That was the deal, and you’re a man of your word, right?”

  She peeked around his shoulder to glimpse up at his face and saw the quick, reluctant smile.

  “I’m a man of my word.”

  “I thought so. Get moving.”

  “Where are we going?”

  “My place. I have everything we need there.”

  “Need for what exactly?”

  She gave him a push to propel him through the door. “You’ll see when you get there.”

  “That’s wrong. I told you what we were doing last week.”

  She laughed. “You told me it was going to be a stroll. That was a hell of a lot more than a stroll.”

  He turned, his gaze heated. “Yeah, it was a lot more than a stroll.”

  She shoved him again, knowing he was referring to that red-hot kiss that ultimately led to them falling into bed together last night. “Go on. You climb rocks to unwind. I’m going to show you how I do it.”

  Chapter Fourteen

  “You expect me to take a bubble bath?”

  Nick stared, stupefied. No way in hell was he getting into that tub full of sweet-smelling foam, surrounded by candles. Candles!

  “You expected me to climb a mountain, so yes, I expect you to take a bubble bath. It’s decadent and a lot like being in a sensory-deprivation capsule. The world just falls away, and you can’t help but relax.” Cassie looked pretty proud of herself.

  He never saw this coming. He’d tried to bail on her, but she had a stubborn streak a mile wide, and she was determined this was his Day to Obey. When they got to her place, they’d sat in the living room of her funky little loft above the coffee shop for a while. He didn’t think anything of it when she excused herself, figuring she’d gone to change. She had changed, into a simple top and jeans, but she’d also created...this.

  After she’d dropped that bombshell on him earlier about having a crazy ex-husband who nearly beat her to death, he’d been having a hard time pulling his thoughts into line. The story filled him with rage. Rage that someone had hurt her. Put her on the run. Made her feel like a lesser person.

  He already had an endless slideshow running on a loop in his head 24/7 from that night two years ago. Beth Washington admitting she’d let Earl move back into her house. His partner, Jada, who had always wanted children, carrying the Washingtons’ baby down the hall to put her to bed. The sound of a shotgun blast.

  Now those familiar images were mixed with new ones from his imagination. Cassie being slapped hard across the face. Cassie at the top of a long flight of stairs, fighting for her life. Cassie being brutally attacked in a deserted parking garage. Maybe he did need the distraction of whatever silliness she was going to subject him to. But a bubble bath?

  “If you think I’m going into that tub, you don’t know me very well.”

  “I don’t know you all that well, Nick. But I know you’re taking this bath, because you’re a man of your word, remember?”

  “With the emphasis on man. I don’t do bubble baths.”

  She was unimpressed.

  He resorted to begging. “Come on, Cass. I don’t want to do this. It won’t be relaxing, it’ll be...embarrassing. Annoying.”

  She folded her arms and arched a brow high.

  “I distinctly remember telling you I did not want to go hiking. It was hard, and exhausting, and I was embarrassed when you had to keep stopping for me. I was pretty damn annoyed by the time we got to the top of the trail. And I was in pain.”

  He grabbed her waist and tugged her close. “Yeah, but look how much fun we had once we got up there. That made it all worth it, didn’t it?”

  The sound of her light laughter made his chest feel funny. “And who’s to say you won’t get a nice surprise later today...” She pushed away from him and reached for the door. “After you get in that tub.” She gave him a wink. “Man of your word, remember?”

  He groaned, knowing he’d been outplayed. She flipped off the lights and closed the door behind her, leaving him in the candlelit bathroom. It was a big tub, framed in large marble tiles. She’d told him Nora had remodeled the downstairs bathroom before Cassie moved in.

  Cassie’s voice called through the door. “I don’t hear any splashing in there! Don’t think you can bluff me, Nicholas West. I’m going to deliver a glass of wine in a little while, and you’d better be chin-deep in bubbles.”

  Nick shook his head. May as well get it over with. Besides, the idea of Cassie bringing wine sounded pretty damn good. Maybe he could convince her to join him after all, and restore his manly pride. He shed his clothes and stepped into the not-quite-scalding water. As he settled down into the tub, he tried to remember the last time he took an actual bath, other than soaking in some hotel hot tub. He had to have been a kid, and there were no bubbles involved that he could remember.

  What was he supposed to do? Scrub behind his ears? Or just sit here and wait? He felt ridiculo
us. But Cassie was right—she’d hiked a mountain last weekend when she really didn’t want to, and he’d made a deal. He finally leaned back and let himself settle into the water a bit. The warmth felt pretty good on his muscles, tired from a night of lovemaking, and the flickering yellow light of the candles was almost hypnotic. He closed his eyes. That hideous slideshow was still playing in his head, but the images started to shift as he inhaled the perfumed suds.

  He saw Jada, but she was at her wedding now, kissing her wife, Shayla, under an arbor of ivory roses. Laughing in the car on a stakeout, teasing him about his “obsession” with healthy eating while she devoured a bacon double cheeseburger. He saw Cassie, but she was trimming the daffodils he’d given her, bending over her desk to inhale their scent and smiling to herself. She’d had no idea he’d been watching her, or she never would have let on how much she liked the stolen goods.

  There was a soft tap on the door, and Cassie stepped in. Her eyes lit up when she saw him in the water, chin-deep as ordered. And the hell if he didn’t feel relaxed and sated. He didn’t even bother trying to deny it.

  “I could do without the actual bubbles, but I gotta admit—this feels pretty good.”

  “Now you know another of my secrets, Nick. I do this a few times a week, just to relax and feel pampered.” She handed him a glass of wine, and he was glad to see she’d brought one for herself. That meant she was staying. To her, bubble baths were about feeling pampered. He wanted to be the one to make her feel that way. He wanted to be the one who kept her safe and spoiled her rotten and made her forget anything bad that had ever happened to her.

  She sat on the corner of the tub, her hair falling loose over one shoulder. The candlelight made her skin glow as if from within. She was the prettiest thing he’d ever seen.

  He crooked his finger at her, ignoring the white bubbles that drifted away from the movement.

  “Join me.”

  Her smile was playful. “That defeats the purpose of pampering yourself. You’re supposed to be relaxing alone.”