The Third Ten

by Jacqueline Druga

  Jenny took the microphone. “I saw Joe this morning. He stopped at the bakery to check on the cake and to get a coffee. I had made cookies and was bringing them in about the same time. We were …” she sighed. “We were talking about the wedding and the interview with the kids. He was so happy about today. It just reminded me of the day Brian was born. How he came in to see me and was glowing. I had just had Caroline and he... he told me to make sure I mention the baby’s weight to Frank just to irritate him. But that was Joe, he loved to get you going Frank and he loved to fight with you. Actually, both of you. Actually … hmm, everyone.” Jenny smiled.

  As Jenny handed the mic back, from the head table, Ellen waved to Danny for the microphone. Frank looked shocked.

  “I’d like to ask those of you are who wanting to speak …” Ellen said. “To stop saying ‘If I may’. Of course you may. We don’t mind. Any of us. This is the greatest gift right now. To hear these stories about Joe, and to laugh, because it’s so hard right now not to be sad. None of us would be here if it wasn’t for Joe. Up here, we aren’t the only ones who lost a father today, all of you did too. So please …eat, drink, talk of Joe, and make everyone in this room smile. Bring us all back to life. Thank you.”

  For the first time there was applause, and as Ellen sat back down, Frank grabbed her hand and kissed her. Danny retrieved it and Andrea intervened.

  “My …” She sighed out. “I want to thank all of you for being here. I know when Gemma and I ran amuck passing the word that the wedding was still on, a lot of you were shocked. You couldn’t believe we’d having the wedding so soon after Joe’s tragedy. Joe wanted this to take place. He told me right here last night it will not be stopped. I can’t let the man down. He was the love of my life. The love of all our lives. I just need you to all know that we’re not having this without Joe. He’s here. Right here next to me. I can feel him.” She smiled and handed the microphone to Danny.

  Dean intercepted. “From listening to everyone, there’s one opinion we all share. Joe loved to get people going. He had this keen ability to know people, and to know what buttons to push. But he also had this keen ability to remain rationally calm until … it came to Frank. Sorry Frank.” Dean chuckled. “He’d come into our lab El, and how many times did he put his hands in his pocket, nod his head and tell us we’re just sick. And he said it like that. You people are sick. Fix it, and then he’d send in Frank. Do you remember you two when El and I tried to hide the fact that we captured Bub the savage. Frank smelled him, Joe remained factual and calm, and irritated. His meetings, too, the ones that way awry …” Dean shook his head. “No one is going to tell me that he didn’t love it. That’s why he invited so many people and had so many. I know what it’s like to lose a great father … today I felt like I lost another great father …. I did.”

  Elliott Ryder inched his way forward. “When I first met Mr. Slagel, I didn’t know who he was. All I knew was that the leader of Beginnings was coming to Bowman. When I looked at him, I immediately thought that this man before me was an older version of the captain. Then he said who he was and it all made sense. At first, I thought the captain was another Joe. Then I got to know all the Slagels. Captain you do indeed look like your father. You have his sarcastic humor, the crass attitude and likeableness. Robbie you have a knack for things just like your father. And you also have the one quality that made Joe the man he is. The ability freely admit when you’re wrong. Ellen no other has your emotional fortitude, you got that from Joe. Jimmy you have his sensitivity and …” Elliott paused. “Okay, scratch that. Joe wasn’t all that sensitive. But you have his ability to look at people clearly and not judge them. And Frank, you have his strength and leadership. See, we all are mourning the loss of Joe, but we need to look no further than you guys. Mr. Slagel is alive and well, he’s just in five people right now.”

  When Danny received the microphone he walked it over to the head table. With the extension of it, Jimmy shook his head. Hal laid a hand on his shoulder, and Robbie took the microphone.

  “I think I’ll speak for me and Jimmy.” Robbie said. “But first I have to say, I was my dad’s favorite.”

  Hal looked at Robbie, and Jimmy immediately lifted his head.

  “Yep,” Robbie nodded. “I was his favorite. He used to say all the time he loved his kids all the same but at times didn’t like us all the same. He’d pull me aside and say, “Robert, you know you’re my favorite right?” Robbie smiled. “And I believed that until last year when I heard Hal say that dad used to pull him aside all the time and say he was his favorite. I’m pretty sure he did the same to Jimmy.”

  Jimmy nodded.

  “Wait,” Frank spoke up. “He never told me that.”

  “I know,” Robbie said. “Wanna know why? Because you didn’t need to hear it Frank like us. We did. You never had the need. And I think, hating to admit it, you had a special place in Dad’s heart that none of us could ever touch. He is so proud of you, big brother. He is. I am. We all are. We are, right now, without a doubt, a truly united family.”

  Frank stood up and embraced Robbie.

  Hal took the microphone. “My God, I listen today and I don’t know whether to be jealous or envious. The years it took for me to come here, are years I’d give my right arm to have.” He turned his head sharply to Frank. “That’s doesn’t mean to go back.” He winked. “Frank. Every single person that spoke today mentioned our father’s relationship with you. They mentioned you or Ellen. How special that is. This entire community loved our father and that makes me so proud. But … he makes me slightly jealous that I can’t get those years back. We are, as Robbie said, a truly united family. Ellen has been part of our lives forever … I remember, and I’m going to stay in true wedding form and give a Frank and Ellen story. Okay, maybe not just Frank and Ellen. A lot of you don’t know this, the first time I met Ellen was when her and Frank were college roommates. It was one of those spur of the moment trips my father always took…” Hal rehashed the memory

  “Lock up.” Joe stepped from his blue car in front of Frank and Ellen’s college apartment. “And Hal, don’t . . .” Joe hunched and cringed at the loud ‘bang’. “. . . Slam the car door.” He spun and glared at Hal.

  “Sorry.” Hal snickered. “It slipped.”

  “It slipped my ass.” Joe laid his hand on Robbie’s back.

  Robbie, eleven at the time, looked at the building, “I like coming here.”

  “It sucks.” Hal commented.

  “How would you know?” Jimmy snapped. “This is the first time dad brought you and me.”

  “Yeah.” Joe nodded and reached for the door. “And there’s a reason for it.”

  “Dad?” Hal called out. “Do you realize Frank and his roommate live in the slums?”

  “It’s not the slums.” Joe held the front door open for his boys. “It’s a low income residential area.”

  “Should we even leave our car?” Hal asked. “As a theft conscious . . .”

  “Hal!” Joe snapped.

  “Dad?” Jimmy led the way down the hall. “Which apartment.”

  “Certainly not down there. Up.” Joe pointed. “Robbie, go first.”

  Robbie darted up the steps, Jimmy and Joe followed. About five steps up, Joe stopped. “Hal.”

  “Dad, did you see all the . . .”

  “Hal!” Joe yelled. “Christ, get out of people’s mail boxes.”

  With a ‘slam’ of the gold metal box, Hal hurried to catch up.

  “Now don’t touch anything else.” Joe warned as they reached the first landing.

  “Dad.” Jimmy spoke up “Hal’s not listening.”

  “Hal!” Joe yelled out seeing his son reach for the knocker on a door. “Don’t touch. Christ.”

  “Sorry.” Hal snuck up by Joe and to the stairs. “Robbie wait up.” He hurried up.

  “Can’t take you anywhere!” Jimmy screamed up from behind his father.

  “Jimmy.” Joe turned around warning. “I’m gonna h
ave a stroke before we even get to the top.”

  “Bet they’re having sex.” Hal said nearing the top. “They don’t know we’re coming. Bet me he and this girl are . . .”

  “Hal.” Joe rubbed his own face and turned to Jimmy. “I’m not living through that boy’s phase of puberty.”

  “Tell me about it.” Jimmy said. “I’d like to get into the bathroom.”

  Joe, again stopped on the steps. “Did I need to hear that? No.”

  Robbie stood before Frank and Ellen’s door waiting for Joe to make it up the steps. “Dad, can I knock?”

  Before Joe could nod, Hal pointed to the wreath. “Look, pink.” He snickered. “Knock.” He shoved into Robbie. “Dad said.”

  “He did not.” Robbie argued.

  “Robert, knock.” Joe reached the top.

  Robbie knocked.

  Hal turned around and looked at Joe. “Bet me we interrupt them. It’s like a movie, you know we’re they don’t expect the parents to come. Frank will answer the door in a robe.”

  Jimmy, so perturbed, shook his head. “Frank doesn’t wear robes.”

  “Hey Ellen.” Robbie said innocently.

  Hal spun to meet her. “But she does.”

  Ellen pulled her robe closed tighter, looking slightly up to the fourteen year old Hal who stepped forward with a wide grin.

  Joe shoved Hal out of the way. “Ellen, Frank here?”

  “Um . . . Yeah.” Ellen opened the door wider. “Come in.”

  Mouthing the word ‘sex’ to Joe, Hal snuck in the apartment first. “There he is!” He shrieked out, pointing to Frank who was sleeping on the couch. “Uh! Get him!” Screaming in a run, Hal dove for the couch.

  Jimmy mimicked the bellowing cry out and dove right behind Hal on Frank.

  Frank screamed. “Get off.”

  “Beat him up.!” Hal pulled at his big brother.

  “Miss us Frank?” Jimmy helped tugging him to the floor.

  Hal Jumped on Frank when he flopped hard to the floor. “Yeah miss us Frank?

  “Oh, no. Get off!” Frank grunted when the weight of Jimmy joined in the surprise wrestling match.

  Joe shut the door as he stepped in. “Ellen, those two on Frank, are Hal and Jimmy. Boys!”

  Robbie, seeing the empty spot on the couch, stepped on top of Jimmy’s back in his route to have a seat. He looked at the television. “Check this out. They have HBO.”

  “Huh?” Jimmy peered up, stopping the fight with Frank. “No way.” He stood up. “How come you have HBO Frank?”

  “Whoa.” Hal said amazed. “How can you afford HBO?” he stopped the wrestling match with Frank.

  Frank, still half asleep stumbled to his feet. “Dad pays.”

  Robbie, Hal and Jimmy all turned their heads to Joe.

  “Dad.” Hal complained. “How come you pay for Frank to have HBO and we can’t have it.”

  “I don’t pay for Frank to have HBO.”

  “Yes you do.” Frank said.

  “Frank.” Joe warned.

  “Dad you gave us the . . .”

  “Frank!” Joe yelled. “I don’t pay! And why is this girl running around half dressed.”

  Ellen quickly ran from the room and toward her bedroom.

  “Dad.” Frank complained. “Why do you have to scare her every time you come up here?”

  “Can I help it she’s afraid of everything. Christ. And Hal, where are you going?”

  Hal stopped in his sneaky walk across the living room. “I have to use the bathroom. It was a long drive.”

  “Go,” Joe pointed. “And put the seat up so you don’t piss on it. A female lives here.”

  “O.K.” Hal raced down the hall. “Found it!” He shouted out.

  Joe shook his head when he heard the door close. “Surprised Frank?”

  “Yeah.” Frank scratched his head. “Did you call and I forgot?”

  “No. Thought we’d just take a ride up. Spur of the moment thing. You know.”

  Jimmy peered over his shoulder to Frank. “Bambi left him.”

  “Who?” Frank asked.

  Joe waved his hand. “Don’t bother Jimmy, Frank never remembers.”

  Kicking his feet and engrossed in the television, Robbie spoke up, “Tell him where we’re going.”

  Joe held his hand in a hushing manner to Robbie. “Well, Monday’s a holiday Frank, I thought . . .” He shifted his eyes when Ellen, seemingly so timid walked down the hall. She wore a big bulky sweatshirt and a baggy pair of jeans. “She dresses.”

  Ellen moved nervously to the kitchen. “I was getting ready to get in the shower.”

  “Well you don’t answer door like that.” Joe had scolding to his voice. “You never know who’s there. What if it was some psycho?”

  Ellen pointed. “Frank was here.”

  Jimmy laughed from the couch. “Yeah, Frank will protect her.”

  “Does this mean she’s still dirty?” Robbie asked. “Tell her she has to take shower dad, like you tell me. That’s not fair. How come she doesn’t have to take one?”

  Joe felt the pain growing in his eyes. “Robbie . . .”

  “Can I have something to eat?” Robbie asked. “Dad wouldn’t stop.”

  “Yeah.” Jimmy added. “Do you have anything to drink?”

  “Boys.” Joe rubbed his eyes. “We’re getting dinner. And what in Christ’s name is taking Hal so long.”

  “Told you.” Jimmy said.

  “God.” Joe closed his eyes. “Hal!”

  “What?” Hal was right behind him. “Hey!” He sang out. “Look what I found.” He held up a box of Tampex. “Frank’s wearing tampons now.”

  “What are tampons?” Robbie asked turning up the television louder and louder.

  “Hal,” Frank reached around Joe and snatched the box. “Stop it.” He handed them to Ellen.

  Ellen looked horrified and nervous. “I’ll just get . . . get something to drink.”

  “Stop.” Joe called out.

  “I’m sorry.” Ellen turned around.

  “Quit that.” Joe told her. “And there’s something I have to say.”

  “Can I put these away?” Ellen looked at Joe with her pleading eyes. “Please.”

  “Here.” Joe took the tampons, turned and handed them back to Hal. “Put them back where you found them.”

  “O.K.” Hal stepped back. “Wonder what else I’ll find.” He ran to the bathroom.

  Frank charged after him. “Hal.”

  Joe bodily stopped Frank. “Don’t worry about . . .” Hal’s loud shriek and laugh, made Joe turn his head to the hall then back to Frank. “I don’t want to know. Hal! Get out here! And don’t bring what you found!”

  “Dad.” Hal returned. “Guess what Frank has in . . .” Hal looked at Frank’s red face and biting lip. “The . . . Ow. Ow!” Hal’s head tilted drastically to the side and his body spun when Joe yanked his ear.

  Holding Hal tight, Joe pulled him by his ear toward the couch. “Settle down! Now sit on the couch for five minutes.”

  “Ow.” Hal rubbed his just released ear. “I can’t believe your punishing me to the couch. I’m fourteen.”

  “You’re acting like your two. Sit.” Joe pointed. “Now . . .” Joe took a calming breath. “There is a reason why I’m here. I thought, I’m off, Monday there’s no school . . .” Joe closed his eyes tightly when the television blared. “Turn it down or no one goes!” Joe shouted, waited for the silence and started again. “Thank you. Now, I thought it would be nice to just take a break. Spend some family time. And with mid-terms over, you probably need a change of pace. Mini vacation. Take a ride to Erie. Tons of snow. We’ll try to lose Hal again.”

  “Erie?” Frank asked. “This weekend?”

  “You got something better planned Frank?” Joe asked.

  Frank’s eyes shifted to Ellen. “Um . . . I feel bad leaving.”

  “What?! Why?” Joe asked then finally noticed Frank’s drastic pointing eyes and twitching head. “Christ Frank
, don’t you think I know by now, I can’t come up and take you anywhere without her?”

  “God. Dad.” Frank hunched in embarrassment. “Can you be anymore rude?”

  “Rude. I’m inviting her to come. She’s welcome. I had every intention of inviting her. Frank. What? I would invite Lenny without Squiggy?” He looked to his snickering sons on the couch. “Boys.”

  Hal leaned to Jimmy. “Frank’s Squiggy. He has the . . . ow.” Hal flew forward when Frank hit him in the back of the head. “Dad. Frank hit me.”

  Joe was on the verge of whining. “God, why do I torture myself?” He looked at Frank and Ellen. “What are you waiting for? Go pack a bag or something. Let’s go. I want stop at Denny’s and I want to get there before they stop serving baked potatoes.”

  Ellen nervously looked at Frank then Joe. “Mr. Slagel, thanks for inviting me, but I can’t go. I don’t have any money.”

  “Well, then I guess you’re shit out of luck. Frank, pack your bag.”

  Frank looked like a lost kid. His face showing how bad he felt as he glanced at Ellen who looked on the verge of tears. “El, I have money. Dad, I have seventeen dollars. Can she use that and I’ll owe you the . . .”

  “Frank.” Joe shut him up. “I’m joking. You’re freshman in college for crying out loud. I know you have no money. I’m paying. Go. Go. Go.” He swung his arm in the direction of the bedroom. “Pack the bag. I’ll be pissed if I don’t get my baked potato.”

  Frank and Ellen both ran past Joe.

  Looking at his watch, Joe stepped near the couch. “I better get my potato.”

  “You know Dad.” Hal played with the remote. “It’s not fair. You pay for their vacation.”

  “I’m paying for yours.”

  “True but we’re minors. It’s the law you have to pay for us. And look, they not only get a cable box, but you pay for HBO, bet me you pay extra for this remote control. How come you play favorites?”