“Frank. You have two major issues that you need to discuss today and . . .” Joe paused when he saw Frank counting on his fingers. “What are you doing?”
“Four.”
“Four what?”
“Huh?”
“You said four. You held up your fingers and then said the number four.”
“Oh, yeah, four things, Not two.”
“Frank, it’s two.”
“Four.”
“Frank.’
“Dad. It’s four.”
Joe seemed leery. “You aren’t mentioning the future LEP?”
Frank shook his head.
“The rape? Or anything related to Jenny?”
Another shake of Frank’s head.
“War, time machine . . .”
“Dad. No. They aren’t important. Ok, they are, but not for the community to know yet.”
“Ok, so what are the four things you’re discussing?”
“The brain flu, your return, the dragon, and the dwarves.”
“The dragon and the dwarves aren’t important Frank.”
“Well, I am ready for when people will ask.”
“They aren’t going to ask,” Joe said,
“They will.”
“Whatever.”
Frank gasped.
“Just tell me what you’re going to say about the brain flu and my return.”
“I’m weaving them together. It’s hard to explain, you’ll have to listen.”
“You’re weaving them together. How?”
“Creatively.”
“Christ.”
“Dad, please, I can be creative. I’m an author.”
“You wrote a children’s book, Frank.”
“No.” Frank shook his head. “I also wrote a book called I am Frank.”
“Not the whole thing. I wrote a big part of the book, I am Frank.”
“Dad, you couldn’t write I am Frank, because it would be I am Joe and there is no book I am Joe.”
“Frank!” Joe started to yell. “I wrote it when you left the office, All the Dean entries.”
“Yeah.”
“Did you write them?”
“No.”
“Who do you think did?”
“Uh, Dad? Dean.”
Joe grumbled. “Screw it. Just . . . . Just keep it calm and don’t let the meeting get out of control.”
“Dad, please, it’s me.”
“That’s why I’m saying it.”
At that instance, Danny approached. “Hating to interrupt. You have five minutes Frank.”
Frank nodded his thanks, then turned to Joe, platting his chest pocket. “Don’t worry. Calm should be my middle name. I have it under control. No worries.”
Joe saw that slip of paper, wrinkled, folded and he couldn’t help but worry.
<><><><>
Robbie loved it. It was actually the first time he had seen the mock Social Hall and was really impressed. A bigger version. Every minute detail, even the boarded window behind the bar had the ‘I am Frank’ graffiti on it.. Although, there was no window behind that board.
He enjoyed a drink, but not too much, he wanted to be on his game for Frank’s speech and possible rioting after, so he told Hal.
“You’re serious?” Hal asked. “You really feel that.”
“Uh, yeah, Hal, this is Frank handling two big things. The brain flu and Dad’s return. Do you know how he’s going to explain Dad’s disappearance.”
“Haven’t a clue, but . . .”
“Better yet. Who he’s going to blame it on?”
Hal’s face grew pale. “I didn’t think of that.”
“Yeah, remember when he blamed Dean for something.”
“Oh my God.”
“Yeah.”
The playing of the Presidential music began, while Robbie laughed, Hal did not. He downed his drink and turned to the stage.
A hush took over the room.
Frank stepped up to the podium, and as soon as he did, questions flew about.
“Hey!” Frank yelled his loudest into the microphone, causing it to feedback and everyone to grab their ears.
“I have a speech!” Frank blasted. “So be quiet until I’m done then you can ask questions.”
Hal leaned toward Robbie and whispered.. “Where is Dad now? I went back stage and he was gone.”
“I had Ryder take him to your office,” Robbie returned in a whispering voice. ‘Just in case.”
“Good thinking.”
Both men turned again to watch Frank.
“We are here,” Frank said in a calm, near monotone voice. “To discuss a couple of serious things. First the brain flu. The brain flu is real, it’s here and it is deadly.”
There were a few gasps.
“Don’t let it fool you.”
Hal closed his eyes. “Oh my God, he’s going to cause a panic.”
“The brain flu began with my brother Jimmy. It started when he was helping to get rid of the spoiled fruit, and some mold got in an open cut causing an infection that went to his brain. Like meningitis. It’s contagious like that. Women don’t get it though because they use their brains more and differently and they have tougher brains so the virus can’t penetrate. Anyhow the virus starts to spread. Yesterday, I was yelling at the women to get to work, turned to get Robbie, and who did I see? My dad. Well, like the women I was convinced I had the brain flu. What the fuck, right? I’m president. I went to my office to think it out and that’s when I found out. I don’t. I saw my father again. Seems, in an alternate past my father had caught the brain flu from Jimmy and had it so severely he was so demented he thought he was Hitler. Confusing, I know, but I’ll explain. Yeah, he was Hitler. No one was safe. He killed anyone who wasn’t black, Chinese or who didn’t have blonde hair. He killed me first. It was mass chaos, He went insane. Holocaust Beginnings style.”
Hal’s hand slid down his face as he leaned to Robbie, “Can he be any more politically incorrect?”
Frank continued. “Well, Jason and Dean, they don’t know this yet, because it was an alternate past, but they had to stop him. But how? They decided to use the time machine to go back. But they couldn’t kill him, or could they. So ... they took crazy Hitler Joe, sedated him, tied him up, strapped a detonation device to him and went back in time to right before my dad got the brain flu. They showed healthy Joe the Crazy Joe, and healthy Joe said, “Dear God.” They snatched Healthy Joe so he wouldn’t get the brain flu, exploded crazy Joe, and took healthy Joe to the future. But . . . Jimmy was still going to get the brain flu. It was still going to get out of hand. My dad could still get the brain flu as long as it existed and kill everyone. Healthy Joe decided he would find a cure, so he wouldn’t go Hitler nuts, and would go to the future to find one. He traveled space and time looking for a cure and when you do that, you aren’t gone a blink of an eye. Well, he found one and he came back. Dean and Jason are mass producing the antidote and cure as I speak it will be available by six pm. Flu is done. Thank you. I’ll take your questions now.”
Hands raised.
“Yes, Steve.”
“So, Joe, is alive. Does that mean he’ll resume leadership again?”
“Yes.” Frank nodded. “No one leads like Joe. However, because of his deep seated attachment to Hitler, we decided just for caution sake, I’ll make all military decisions. After all, even though Hitter was a genius, he still lost the war.” Frank pointed. “Gemma?”
“Frank. Can you clear up this poison pie business please. It’s affecting my pie sales.”
Frank nodded. “Absolutely, the poison apple pie was from pre plague times. A story that the dwarves are spreading.”
“So there are dwarves in Beginnings.”
“Seven I think. I haven’t seen them, they’re here, they’re crafty. Like leprechauns so exercise caution if you see them, call Security.”
Another hand raised. A man.
“Yes.” Frank pointed.
“You said Joe traveled spa
ce and time for a cure. Are you saying he went into space, another planet?”
“I think he did. Some island planet just to the left of mars.”
“He didn’t bring back any aliens did he?”
“Not that I know of, I’ll keep an eye out.”
“What about the dragon?”
Silence.
Except Robbie’s snickering.
In his mind he chanted, ‘Oh, yeah, I fucking knew this was coming,’ but he didn’t portray that. He was, at that moment, still the leader. Very seriously Frank leaned to the microphone, he lifted a sheet of paper from his pocket and read. “There are rumors of a dragon in Beginnings. I haven’t seen it. Do not worry. If it is here. I will get it. I will catch it. I will kill it.”
A moment of silence and everyone applauded.
“Any other questions?” Frank waited. “Good. If you do, see my dad on anything that pertains to stuff besides military. Get your shots and cure and have a good day.” Frank stuffed the paper in his pocket and stepped from the stage.
Hal just stared.
“How was I?” Frank asked Robbie and Hal.
“Great.” Robbie answered.
“Space and Time? Crazy Joe?” Hal asked. “Hitler complex? Good God, Frank.”
“Your point?”
“You lied to these people.”
“Hal, how do we know that’s not what happened.”
“Because we do Frank. We know what happened. Good God.”
“Hal, it’s over. And didn’t I tell you they’d ask about the dragon. I got it under control.”
Hal shook his head.
“What are you so upset about. Fuck. It’s done. Over. Things are back to Normal. Right?” Frank flashed a grin and walked away.
“He’s an asshole.”
Robbie smiled. “But you have to admit, Hal. Dad’s back, no one is going to ask anything. Frank handled it.”
Hal took notice of everyone dispersing in an orderly manner. Almost everyone seemed happy and content. “That he did, little brother. In his own Frank demented way. That he did.”
<><><><>
All went well, so Joe believed. Elliott Ryder offered him a ride back to Beginnings, to which Joe accepted.
There was no screaming, no one being chased, no mass hysteria.
The streets of Bowman were calm. Joe had to admit he was kind of impressed. Frank did it.
Robbie had spoken to him prior to leaving, so really there was no reason to go into detail with Elliott.
When Joe asked Robbie how Frank did, Robbie said he did well. And he did weave the brain flu in with the disappearance.
He explained to Joe that Frank told the community Joe had the brain flu, a deadly form and to save Beginnings they went back in time. The Joe that was blown up was the sick Joe and the healthy Joe went to the future to find a cure.
Not bad. Not bad. Frank had made Joe out to be a hero.
As they pulled through the tunnel and Joe caught glimpse of Beginnings from the hill, he could see many people lining up at the clinic.
It was working.
“Anywhere specific, Mr. Slagel?” Elliott asked.
“You know what, Elliott? Since I am officially back, take me to my office.”
And Elliott did, telling Joe that he was going to check on Ellen and should he need anything just call.
What would Joe need?
Had he thought about it earlier and considered the source, perhaps Joe would have needed a deeper explanation of all Frank did. Or rather said.
Joe sat in his office, and figured he’d stop by the clinic around six o’clock to see how the inoculations were going. But beforehand he wanted to make some notes on the future time trip that would be taken.
Frank’s Planet of the Apes theory was starting to make an eerie sense.
If the Great War caused a Planet of LEPS to emerge because man wiped himself out and the LEP just evolved, it made perfect sense that a future intelligent LEP could jump start that whole revolution process.
‘They don’t have the ability, vocally or mentally,’ Dean had told him on the side. ‘Not to master that much speech, or to invent. Marcus is smart, but if he hadn’t learned to formulate understandable phrases than this future LEP is a new breed or a master evolution.’
But to evolve in one thousand years.
Even Darwin didn’t have man evolving that fast.
Notes. Notes. Joe took notes.
He also had questions to ask Jason. Like, could Frank bring back something from the future that would help? Things like that.
He was on his first page of notes when there was a knock at his door.
Dan from Security.
“Hey, Dan.” Joe smiled.
“Hey, Joe. I wanted to just stop by and tell you that it is really good to have you back.”
“Thank you.”
“And that seeing you isn’t me going nuts.”
“Well, I’m sure Frank explained that when you saw me . . .”
“Yeah, it was a psychic premonition. He said I may have talent.”
Joe didn’t say anything, but a simple. “Maybe.”. After all, Frank did so well with everything else, what was one misleading comment.
“Well, I got my shot early,” Dan said. “Heading down to the clinic to help out. Again, good seeing you.”
“Good seeing you too Dan.”
The door started to close, Dan stopped, popped his head back in. “Oh, hey, Joe, just for future reference. I’m not Jewish.”
Before Joe could respond to that, Dan was gone.
He didn’t think much of it until Hector showed up a few minutes later to tell Joe that he was now instituting the procedure that everyone must wear gloves before touching moldy fruit.
Joe didn’t understand why that was, but he was fine with it. Then as Hector was leaving, he too, made it a point to tell Joe he wasn’t Jewish.
“I didn’t think you were Hector.”
“Well, just making sure. Have a good night Joe.”
After that, Joe grew curious. Maybe he’d head to the clinic early. Curiosity raised slightly, maybe there was some obscure religious law evoked when Frank was leader. One Joe didn’t know about, giving certain days off.
After all four more people approached Joe on the way to the clinic to inform him of their non-Jewish state, and that included Ben from Fabrics, who was Jewish.
Joe saw the line outside the clinic, the doors closed and he went in the side entrance.
Dean and Jason were in the lab filling syringes and pill cups.
“Gentlemen.” Joe announced as he walked in.
“Hey, Joe,” Dean said. “How’s it going?”
“Good.”
“Bet it feels good to be officially back.”
“Yep, it does.” Joe rubbed his chin. “Dean, did you go to the town meeting today?”
“No, I was here.”
“Jason?”
Jason shook his head. “Nope, we’re getting the cure ready.”
“Shit. Do either of you know why everyone feels the need to walk up to me and tell me they aren’t Jewish?”
Both Dean and Jason stopped and looked at Joe at the same time.
Dean laughed. “They’re telling you what?”
“They aren’t Jewish. Was there a law enacted or something.”
Jason shrugged. “Could be.”
Joe turned to the humming, and Andrea was walking in.
“Hey, sweetheart.”
“Andrea, do you know why everyone is telling me they aren’t Jewish?”
With a hmm and a tilt of her head. Andrea shrugged. “That’s very odd. Maybe there’s a rumor that you’re a bigot.”
“Christ, I’m not a bigot.”
“Joe Slagel, when you blaspheme like that it makes me wonder.”
“Why is that Andrea?”
“Because it makes you sound not nice.” She tapped his cheek. “Excuse me, we have a community to cure, thanks to you.”
Joe bobbed his head, aft
er all he was being deemed the hero. “Yeah, true.”
As Andrea turned other preparation, the squeak of the boot announced more of his presence than his loud. “Dean!” when Frank walked in.
“God!” Dean winced. “Why do you do that?”
“Do what?” Frank asked.
“Yell like that?”
“So you can hear me.”
“I have news for you Frank, the world can hear you, you’re that loud.”
Just as Frank opened his mouth and said, ‘I am’, so did Joe, Jason and Andrea.
Frank tilted his head, tugged his ear and shrugged. “Anyhow, is the cure ready. People are blocking traffic.”
Joe did a twitch of his head. “What traffic Frank. There is no traffic in Beginnings.”
“Foot traffic.”
“Yeah, well, go direct it.”
“Ok.” Frank turned.
“Wait.” Joe called out.
Frank stopped.
“Frank, do you have any idea why people are telling me they aren’t Jewish?”
Frank stared.
“Frank?”
“Not a clue.” He turned and walked out.
After a ‘hmpf’ and an ‘odd’, Joe shrugged it off. Maybe he was making more out of it than he should.
First thing was first. As Frank said, a line was forming, and Joe officially back as leader, decided to help them get everything ready for the cure. The sooner they put the brain flu to rest the better.
CHAPTER EIGHT
Lars Rayburn spent enough time in Beginnings, just enough to understand and see how their minds worked. Obscure and in their own reality. He quite enjoyed them.
Lars, before the world went to pot was indeed one of the brilliant minds. Despite what Dean Hayes said, he was above him on the top scientists of the world list.
So knowing that, Lars kind of dismissed the rumor of ‘brain flu’. After all, it sounded ridiculous to him. He’d never heard of it.
Then a panic call from Mick for Lars to make an immediate trip to see Jimmy Slagel. He was suffering a severe relapse from the brain flu and Mick was concerned that perhaps there should be a quarantine.
Wanting to witness this phenomenon first hand, Lars took the trip and examined Jimmy. When Mick asked what he thought, Lars gave his stock, “Hmm. Brain flu. Let me make some calls.” Jimmy seemed fine, except the reasonable Slagel was insistent that he spoke to his father on the phone. That was the one thing that threw Lars off.
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