‘Yes, it’s me. Look, Corinne, there’s been a change of plan—’
On the last lap of the journey the snow began to come down even harder. Alex cursed and set his windscreen wipers to go fast.
It had been an awkward sort of day, with people forcing him to change course at the last moment, which he disliked. First Craddock and his mad Caribbean party, then, just as he was reaching out to call Corinne, the phone had rung.
It had been Craddock’s secretary to say that her boss had been rushed to hospital with suspected appendicitis. The whole trip was off. The signing would have to be done later.
The upside was that he could call Corinne and say he would be there a day earlier.
‘Alex, that’s wonderful. The children will be thrilled.’
‘OK, I’ll be there tonight, but I’m not sure when. The traffic’s difficult.’
‘We’re going out, but I’ll leave the key in a little box in the porch. Maybe you’ll be there when we get back.’
‘Fine. I’ll see you.’
The snow was coming down harder, and his car began to slide over the road. He slowed, but then more snow seemed to collect on his windscreen.
Why had she insisted on moving out to the very edge of London instead of staying in the mansion he’d bought her? It was a beautiful house, full of everything a wife could possibly want, but she had fled it without a backward glance.
And where had she chosen instead? A dump. A cottage. He knew he was exaggerating because it was a five-bedroom detached house, far better than where they’d lived when they were first married, but nothing compared to what he’d given her later.
It still hurt when he thought of the home he’d provided for her. The price had been extortionate, but he’d paid it willingly, thinking how thrilled Corinne would be.
It had had everything, including a paddock for the pony he intended to buy as soon as Bobby had learned to ride. Those riding lessons had been a kind of eldorado in his mind. How he would have loved them in his own childhood! And how different the reality had been!
But, for Bobby, everything would be perfect.
As always, he felt something melt inside him when he thought of his children, Mitzi, wide-eyed and appealingly cheeky. Bobby, quiet, self-assured even at nine, rapidly growing up to be a companion to his father.
And then Corinne had blown the whole dream apart. He’d come home one day to find the beautiful house empty and his family gone.
When he’d seen her again she’d talked about divorce, which he didn’t understand. There was nobody else for either of them, so who needed divorce? He’d refused even to consider it.
He had thought his firmness would make her see sense and come home, but she had quietly refused to budge. She would wait out the divorce, if necessary.
She didn’t actually say that the important thing was to be away from him, but the implication hung in the air.
He was nearing his destination now. He had never been there before, and darkness and snow made it hard to find the way. It was this road—no, the next!
Relieved, he swung the car into the turning and immediately saw a man crossing in front of him, moving slowly.
What happened next was too fast to follow, although later his mind replayed it in slow motion. The man saw him and began to run, and at the exact same moment he slammed on the brakes. The sudden sharp movement made the car skid over the ice that lay on the road beneath the snow.
It was the merest bad luck that the car went in the same direction as the man. Whether he, too, slithered on the ice or the car actually touched him nobody could ever be sure. But the next moment he was lying on the ground, groaning.
Alex brought the car to a cautious halt and got out. By now a woman had appeared from a house and hurried over to the victim. She was wrapped up in a thick jacket whose hood concealed everything about her head.
‘Jimmy? Oh, God, Jimmy, what happened?’
‘That idiot was going too fast. Hell, my shoulder!’
He winced and, clutching his neck, gasped with pain.
‘Corinne, can you give me your arm?’
‘Corinne?’
Alex drew back the side of the hood to her indignation.
‘Hey, what are you—? Alex! Did you do this?’
‘He slipped on the ice.’
‘Which I wouldn’t have done,’ Jimmy said, ‘if you hadn’t been going too fast to stop.’
‘I was barely doing—’
‘Shut up both of you,’ she said fiercely. ‘This isn’t the time.’
‘Right. I’ll call an ambulance.’
‘No need,’ Jimmy groaned. ‘We were on our way to the hospital anyway. Corinne, let’s just go. I’m sure it’s only a sprain and they can patch me up before I do my stuff.’
He climbed slowly to his feet, holding on to Corinne and refusing all offers of help from Alex. But when Corinne touched his arm he yelled with pain.
‘Be sensible,’ said Alex, tight-lipped. ‘If you don’t want an ambulance I’ll take you. Wait here!’
He strode off to where he’d parked. Jimmy, clinging to Corinne, gasped, ‘Corinne, please, anybody’s car but Alex’s.’
‘Fine. Mine’s just here.’
In a moment she’d opened the door and eased him into the passenger seat. She was starting the engine when Alex drew up beside her.
‘I said I’d take him,’ he yelled.
‘You don’t know the way. Wait for us in the house, Alex.’
She pulled away without waiting for his answer. Muttering angrily, Alex swung around to follow her. He’d just about recognised Jimmy from their wedding. As Corinne’s sole relative he had given her away, but his languishing looks had suggested that he would rather have been the groom.
Soon the main entrance of Hawksmere Hospital came into view. He followed Corinne and drew up behind her as she was opening the passenger door. From the way Jimmy moved he was more badly hurt than had appeared at first. Alex marched ahead into the hospital and up to the reception desk, emerging a few moments later with an orderly and a wheel-chair.
‘He’s right, Jimmy,’ Corinne said. ‘Let them take you in.’
Jimmy muttered something that Alex didn’t catch, which made Corinne exclaim, ‘To blazes with Santa Claus! It’s you that matters.’
They made a little procession into the hospital, the orderly wheeling Jimmy, Corinne beside them, and Alex bringing up the rear.
Once inside, Jimmy was whisked away to an examination cubicle. Now, Alex thought, he would get the chance to talk to Corinne, but she insisted on going too. There was nothing for him to do but sit down and wait, which he found the hardest thing in the world to do.
Relief came ten minutes later with the whirlwind arrival of an elderly lady of military aspect and forthright manner.
‘Where is he? I was told he’d arrived and we’re waiting for him.’
‘Who?’ asked Alex.
‘Santa Claus. Jimmy. Corinne promised he’d do it, but where is he?’
‘In a cubicle, having his shoulder examined,’ Alex said. ‘He met with an accident.’
‘Oh, dear! I do hope it isn’t serious. That would be most inconvenient.’
‘I dare say he’d find it inconvenient as well,’ Alex said sardonically.
She whirled on him like an avenging fury.
‘It’s easy for you to sit there and mock, but you don’t have a crowd of children who are expecting Santa to arrive with his sack and give out presents, and you’ve got to tell them that he isn’t coming.’
Alex was saved from having to answer this by the arrival of Corinne.
‘Mrs Bradon, I’m so sorry,’ she said at once. ‘Jimmy’s got a broken collar-bone and a cracked rib. I’m afraid he can’t be Santa.’
‘But can’t he be Santa with a broken collar-bone?’ Mrs Bradon asked wildly. ‘The children won’t mind.’
‘It’s being set now. He’s in a lot of pain,’ Corinne explained.
‘Well, they can giv
e him something for that.’
‘They are giving him something, and it’s going to send him to sleep.’
‘Oh, really! That’s very tiresome!’
Alex’s lips twitched. He couldn’t help it. Mrs Bradon’s single-mindedness would have been admirable in a boardroom, but here it was out of place.
‘There must be a way around the problem,’ he said.
‘Like what?’ Corinne confronted him, eyes flashing. ‘This is your fault. You ran Jimmy down, driving like a maniac.’
‘I was doing ten miles an hour, if that. He slipped on the ice. He always was a slowcoach.’
‘Well, he can’t be Santa, whatever the reason, and it was your car.’
The sheer injustice of this took his breath away.
‘What does it matter whose car it was if I didn’t hit him?’
‘Jimmy says you did.’
‘And I say I didn’t.’
‘Will you two stop making a fuss about things that don’t matter?’ Mrs Bradon said crossly. ‘We have a crisis on our hands.’
‘Surely not,’ Alex said, exasperated. ‘How hard can it be to play Santa? A bit of swagger, a ho-ho-ho or two—anyone can do it.’
‘Fine!’ said Corinne. ‘You do it!’
‘I didn’t mean—’
‘What a wonderful idea!’ Mrs Bradon cut across him. ‘You’re about the same height so the costume will fit you. You have got it?’ This was to Corinne.
‘Yes, it’s in the car. And you’re right, the size is fine.’
‘I’m sure you don’t need me,’ Alex said defensively. ‘This is a hospital. There must be a dozen men around—’
‘There are a hundred,’ said Mrs Bradon firmly. ‘But they are doctors, nurses, ward orderlies. Which one of them do you suggest should be taken off his duties to save you from having to do your duty?’
‘It’s hardly my—’
‘You deprived us of our Santa Claus,’ said Mrs Bradon implacably. ‘It’s your job to take his place!’
‘Look, ladies—’
Alex met Corinne’s eyes, seeking her support. But she was looking at him angrily.
‘After all,’ she echoed him, ‘how hard can it be? A bit of swagger and a ho-ho-ho or two.’
‘All right, all right,’ he snapped.
‘Splendid!’ Mrs Bradon hooted triumphantly. ‘You’d better get to work right away. Corinne will show you what to do. Hurry up!’
She bustled away.
‘You’re finding this very funny, aren’t you?’ Alex growled.
‘It has its moments. When was the last time someone spoke to you like that without you flattening them in return?’
‘I can’t remember,’ he admitted.
‘I’ll get the costume and you can get to work.’
‘Corinne, wait.’ He detained her with a hand on her arm. ‘Must I really do this? Surely—’
‘Aha! Backing out!’ She began to cluck like a hen.
‘I am not chicken,’ he said furiously.
‘Sez who?’ she jeered. ‘You’re just afraid you’re not up to it. That’s the first time I’ve heard you admit that there is something you can’t do better than the next man.’
‘I didn’t mean that.’
‘No, you meant that it’s beneath you.’
‘I just think that there has to be another way.’
‘Of course there is. All you have to do is find a replacement who can do this in exactly ten minutes’ time.’
He ground his teeth.
‘All right. Get the costume and let’s get this over with.’
‘I’d rather you came out to the car with me. I don’t want to let you out of my sight.’
‘Dammit, Corinne!’ Alex said furiously. ‘Why must you overreact to everything? I’ve said I’ll do it, and I’ll do it. After all, how hard can it be?’
She fetched the costume and took him into a small kitchen where Jimmy had planned to change. As Alex dressed she explained his duties.
‘You have to go around both the children’s wards with your sack, giving out presents.’
‘How will I know who to give what?’
‘Leave that to me. I’ll be there. I’ll tell you who everyone is and hand you the right present. After that you go and sit by the big tree in the hall and you’ll get some children who are in here visiting people. Then I’ll have to leave you for a few minutes to collect Bobby and Mitzi.’
‘Did you tell them I called? That I was coming a day early?’
‘No, I thought I’d let it come as a nice surprise when you turned up.’
‘You mean you thought I’d let you down?’ he asked wryly.
‘Well, if I did I was wrong,’ she conceded. ‘Maybe I’ve done you an injustice. When I heard your voice I thought you were going to cry off again. But you didn’t, and that’s wonderful. It’ll be the best Christmas ever.’
Remembering how close he’d come to cancelling, he had the grace to feel awkward and was glad that fiddling with his beard gave him an excuse not to look at her.
‘Here,’ she said, laughing. ‘Let me fix that.’
‘There’s an awful lot of stuff to put on,’ Alex said. ‘I thought it would just be a white thing with hooks over the ears.’
‘Well, there are hooks, but there’s also glue so that it fits your mouth and stays in place. Jimmy believes in doing things properly. He got this from a theatrical costumier, and he chose the best.’
‘Jimmy?’
‘Jimmy is spending Christmas with us—or he was before he was knocked down by some maniac driver.’
‘I did not knock him down,’ Alex said through gritted teeth. ‘He fell.’
‘Whatever. He chose the costume, and it’s a good one.’
Alex had to admit that it was the best. The beard was soft and silky, gleaming white, with a huge moustache that flowed down into the beard itself. When it was fixed in place it covered his mouth almost completely.
But there was something else.
‘A wig?’ he protested.
‘Of course. How can you be convincing with a white beard and brown hair?’
‘Won’t my hair be covered by a hood?’
‘Even with a hood they’d notice. Children notice everything these days. They see wonderful special effects on films and television, and when they get close up to reality they expect it to be just as convincing.’
He grumbled some more, but when the wig was on he had to admit that it looked impressive. Long, thick and flowing, it streamed down over his shoulders, mingling with the beard, which was also long and flowing.
He looked nothing like himself, and that was some consolation, he reflected. At least nobody would be able to identify him.
He was beginning to get into the part now, driven by the instinct that governed his life—to be the best at whatever he undertook.
If you weren’t the best there was no point in doing it. Right?
In some respects he had the physique, being over six foot. But there was one flaw.
‘I’m too thin,’ he objected. ‘This suit was made for someone a lot bigger.’
‘There’s some padding,’ Corinne said, diving back into the bag.
With the padding in place he had a satisfactory paunch.
‘Will I do?’ he demanded.
‘Your cheeks need to be rosier.’
‘Get off! What are you doing?’
‘Just a little red to make you convincing.’
‘I won’t even ask what you’ve just put on my face.’ He groaned. ‘I don’t want to know.’
‘You look great. Completely convincing. Now, let’s have a ho-ho-ho!’
‘Ho-ho-ho!’ he intoned.
‘No, you need to be more full and rounded. Try it again, and make it boom this time.’
‘Ho-ho-ho!’
To her surprise, he made a good job of it.
‘Well done,’ she said. ‘That was really convincing.’
‘You thought I couldn’t be?’
‘Jimmy never manages it that way. He tries but it comes out sounding reedy.’
‘What about my eyebrows?’ Alex asked. ‘Are they white enough?’
He was right. His dark brown eyebrows now looked odd against the gleaming white hair and whiskers.
‘There aren’t any false eyebrows,’ she said, inspecting the bag. ‘You’ll have to go as you are.’
‘No way. We’ll do this properly. This is a kitchen, right? Won’t there be some flour?’
‘The kitchen’s just for making tea,’ Corinne objected, opening cupboard doors.
But, against all odds, she found a small bag of flour with some left inside.
‘Fancy you thinking of that,’ she said, rubbing it into his eyebrows until the natural colour faded.
‘When I was a kid I wanted to be an actor,’ he said.
‘You never told me that before.’
‘I was never trapped under half a ton of gum and whiskers before.’
She stood back and regarded him.
‘You look great,’ she said. ‘Here’s your sack of toys, all labelled. Are you ready?’
‘Let’s go!’
CHAPTER TWO
ELEPHANT WARD had been designed and decorated for children. Streams of cheerful-looking cartoon elephants walked around the walls and played games with their trunks.
Alex stood in the doorway and boomed, ‘Ho-ho-ho!’ to an accompaniment of shrieks from the rows of beds. When it quietened, Corinne murmured, ‘First bed on the right, Tommy Arkright, broken pelvis. Fascinated by ghosts.’
Whoever had planned this had done it well, Alex realised as soon as he began talking to Tommy. The name, the ailment and the interest were all accurate, and when Tommy unwrapped his gift, which turned out to be a book of ghost stories, it was a triumphant moment.
It was the same with the next child, and the next. From being self-conscious, Alex began to relax, and even to enjoy himself. In part this was due to the knowledge that he was unrecognisable. Not that people here would have known him anyway, but the total anonymity still made him feel easier.
He was in a good temper when he came to the end of the ward and turned in the doorway for a final wave and a cry of, ‘Goodbye, everyone.’
12 Stocking Stuffers Page 103