Thor may not have known what she meant by conceal and carry, but he did know what a gun was, even if it looked different from any other gun he had ever seen. Thor had no doubt, whatsoever, that this woman intended to use it. It didn’t matter that the gun she carried was small, even the tiniest projectile could cause fatal damage in the position he was in. “I apologize ma’am,” he told her. “I will go now.” He turned to continue on his journey to Head Quarters, wherever that was.
As he walked block after block, Thor noticed that people, especially the women, noticed him. A young, nubile redhead gave him a good onceover with her eyes and even offered him a smile. Another with hair the color of raven’s feathers gave him a smile and her best come hither look, but Thor didn’t dare ask again for directions. Not after the last encounter with the conceal and carry woman.
Several people with small children forced their little ones across the street and when that wasn’t plausible due to the transportation boxes, they covered the young ones eyes. The words of the woman with the gun who covered her own daughter’s eyes kept replaying in his mind, preventing him from making contact.
Soon, a young man outside of what appeared to be a reputable establishment approached him. “Thank God, it’s about time you got here! The show’s about start! Come on, get your sweet ass moving. We don’t have much time.” the gentleman said, taking Thor by the arm and damn near dragging him inside.
Loud music and strobe lights assaulted Thor’s senses as did the smell of tobacco and sweat. Underneath all of that, Thor thought that he could smell the scent of mead. He needed a drink after the ordeal he had just been through. “Where are you taking me?” he demanded, pulling his arm back. “I require refreshments immediately.”
“You got less than ten minutes before you’re due on stage, man!” the young man informed him.
“What stage? I need a drink. Take me to the barkeep.” Thor looked longingly in the direction of the bar.
“Fine,” the man said. “I swear, every show brings a new diva to this place. Hurry up, Pixie Dust,” he said.
“My name is Thor,” Thor corrected him.
“I bet it is, Sweetheart,” he answered. “I’m gonna call you Pixie.” Then the man swished away. Thor considered that he might have a problem with his legs or even his lower back from some previous battle wounds, given the way his hips moved with exaggeration from side to side. It happened to the best of warriors. Thor gave an empathetic nod in the man’s direction before sitting on one of the stools at the bar.
“Barkeep! I’ll have a mug of your best mead,” he demanded, slapping his hand down on the bar top.
The bartender raised a brow at him as if he had lost his damned mind. “Uh, Bud Light tap is on special,” he answered.
“Whatever,” Thor said, getting impatient. “Am I at the establishment called Head Quarters?”
The bartender threw his head back and laughed. “Not exactly,” he answered. “This is Hot Rod’s and it’s Diva night. Are you part of the show?”
Thor opened his mouth to question the man’s response, but another dark-haired man sat down beside him. “Can I buy you a drink, Big Boy?” he asked.
Thor looked at him in confusion. The man was dressed in battle gear, with leather briefs and studded suspenders, but the waif of a man looked as if he couldn’t hold a spear. The man was as thin as paper and when he spoke, his voice was soft and high-pitched like a woman. Then again, he’d seen smaller men be fearsome warriors in combat.
“Are you okay?” Thor asked him.
“Yes, why?” he replied.
Thor looked at the bartender, whose shoulders were jerking with silent laughter. Why in the world was that man laughing at him? “What is so funny?” he asked the bartender covertly.
The bartender burst out laughing, bending over and holding his stomach. He tried to speak, but every time he opened his mouth, more laughter escaped. Tears rolled down his cheeks and he had to hold on to the bar to keep from falling over.
“I do not see what is so funny,” Thor muttered. What was wrong with these humans?
When the bartender finally got himself under control, he looked at Thor with unleashed laughter still in his eyes. “Do you know where you are? This is a gay bar.”
Thor thought about that for a moment. “That does explain your laughter and why everyone seems so happy.”
The bartender looked at him blankly. “Um, it’s a gay bar. Gay. Bar.”
“It is a happy establishment,” Thor agreed.
“No, you don’t understand. Gay. As in homosexual.”
“What—I’m not sure what you mean,” Thor said carefully.
“This is a bar where men who like men, and women who like women go. Gay. Bar.” He waited for Thor to grasp what he was saying.
As the information digested, Thor felt his eyebrows kiss his hairline. “What? Why? And who?” he looked at the man who was wearing leather briefs. “You?”
The man nodded.
“And you want me? No—uh—I uh, I’m happy but, and I know I am irresistible, but I am not this kind of gay. I like women. A lot of women. All of them.” Thor stood and began backing toward the door. “I like women, a lot.” When his back touched the exit, Thor pushed it open and waved. “Be happy gay people,” he said before taking off at a dead run.
Thor pumped his legs as fast as he could. He had to make some distance between himself and the strange bar that men who liked other men frequented. It occurred to him that the man in leather who spoke to him and offered to buy a drink was attracted to him. While he was flattered, that was not at all what he was expecting. He turned his head back to ensure that he was not followed. Twice more he had to check to be sure and then once more after that. It was then, while he was more concerned with what was behind him that he didn’t see what was in front of him.
Thor slammed into another human body. They toppled over one another, landing hard on the ground. He felt the soft flesh of a woman on top of him and he breathed a sigh of relief. “What the hell, man?” she asked, getting up and brushing herself off.
Thor abruptly apologized, immediately feeling remorse for causing a female discomfort, however inadvertent. She was pretty enough, with dark brown hair that was pulled tight behind her neck and grey eyes the color of a coming storm. She had dark circles under her eyes and Thor thought that she needed a good night’s rest. She was thin, wearing only a scant top that was made of lace that barely covered her breasts and a short garment like a skirt that stopped just under her buttocks. It was shiny as if it were made of leather, but it was not. Her legs were encased in long black boots that reached her thighs with spears under the soles. How in the world she managed to even stand in them was a mystery to him. “I cannot believe the things I have seen tonight,” he told her. “I must get to Head Quarters. Do you know of this place?”
The woman stared at him for a long moment, and then her eyes traveled over his exposed torso. Thor rejected the urge to cross his arms over his chest to conceal himself. When her eyes landed on his briefs, there was nothing he wanted more than to cover that as well. He just didn’t have enough arms. “I can do better than that,” she purred. “I can take you to paradise.” She winked at him and he wanted to run but damn it, he needed help.
“You are not a Valkyrie and I do not wish to go to Valhalla. I want to go to Head Quarters,” Thor told her. Had he hit her harder than he thought? Had she hit her head on the way down? Or maybe, she was just daft. Either way, she wasn’t proving to be helpful.
“I can take you anywhere you want if the price is right,” she said seductively. The statement was enhanced by the woman running her hands down the sides of her breasts as if to straighten her top, but the motion was definitely meant to be provocative.
“I know that I am irresistible,” Thor told her, his chest puffing out slightly. Of course she wanted to bed him. All women did. And men too, apparently. “However, I am not in the mood for bed play. I have an important engagement to get to.”
“Still gonna cost ya,” the woman said, digging in her purse and retrieving a package of cigarettes. She pulled one out, set it between her lips and lit it. She inhaled deeply and then exhaled a cloud of smoke. It traveled into Thor’s breathing space and he couldn’t help but to cough and choke a little from the offensive smell alone. “A girl’s gotta make her money and I’m a working girl.”
Thor looked around but did not see her business. “Where is your cart? What items do you sell?”
She looked at him, deadpan, for a moment. “Seriously?” she asked. “I sell myself. My body.”
Thor couldn’t hide his surprise. Why would anyone do that? “You mustn’t sell your body parts! One needs two arms and two legs, especially to survive the battle that is coming! I must impress upon you the importance of keeping all of your parts!”
“Are you—never mind,” she said, shaking her head. “Head Quarters is two blocks down, third building on the right. Get over there.” She pointed in the direction he should go. “No charge, just go.”
“Thank you,” he told her sincerely, laying one fist over his heart and giving her a slight bow. “I am in your debt.”
“Yeah,” she said around her cigarette and rolling her eyes. “Just go.”
Thor jogged down the street in the direction she had indicated. Humans were getting stranger all the time. When he arrived at the building with the words ‘Head Quarters’ embossed in glowing red letters over the door, he sighed in relief and walked right in.
Circular booths were strategically placed around a stage where a woman was dancing. She was wearing only a pair of panties, her bra, and a pair of shoes that not only sparkled in the flashing lights, but had the longest spears under the soles that he had ever seen. Those shoes alone would make quite the weapon, he thought. The music thumped loudly, vibrating his chest and hurting his ears, but what kept him glued to one spot on the floor was how the woman was dancing. She was caressing a silver pole in the middle of the stage as if it were her long-lost lover! She crouched down, pressing her breasts against it, and then rose back up to her full height, pressing the pole between her ample breasts. She arched her back and… Holy Hell! She was sexing up that pole!
Was she not attractive enough for a real man to pleasure her? Surely someone would be willing to help her so that she didn’t have to get her satisfaction from a cold piece of metal. As he watched her dance, Thor entertained the thought of helping her himself. Only… the idea made him feel strange, as if he were doing something wrong. His stomach turned and he felt nauseous. An image of Athena dancing with that pole popped into his mind and his body responded to that.
“It really is an exceptional place, isn’t it?” Loki asked from beside Thor.
The God of Thunder just about jumped out of his own skin. How and when had Loki gotten there? Had he ghosted in? Loki knew better than to show his true self in front of mortals. Thor opened his mouth to chastise his brother when he saw another woman dancing in a cage on the far wall. “What is this place?” he asked, willing the erection his imagination had caused into submission.
“This is called a strip club,” Loki told him. “And stop gaping at the girls. They don’t like it. They’re here to make money.”
Thor nodded in understanding. “Working girls,” he said.
“Right,” Loki agreed. “Come on, let’s sit at the bar. I’ll buy you a beer.”
“You are not going to rape me with your eyes, too are you?” Thor said, only half joking. He caught himself wiping his hands over his chest as if to wipe off his experiences of the day.
“Gross man,” Loki said with a disgusted look on his face. “You’re pretty, but not my type.”
They sat on stools that were in front of the bar and the bartender poured two large glasses of ale for them. “I saw Athena,” Thor blurted out. Since she accosted him, she had been on his mind in the most inappropriate of ways. Athena was supposed to be his enemy, but he could not stop his body from reacting to the mere thought of her body.
“Oh, damn you didn’t,” Loki said, already knowing about Thor’s past.
“No,” Thor told him. “I don’t think she remembered me. She is just as irritating as ever.” It had been many, many years since Thor had last seen the stunningly beautiful Olympian, but he could never forget her. There was a time, before the war, that he would have taken her to bed without a second thought. Probably more than once. The war had changed things, though. The war had come between Thor and his plans for the goddess. At one time, they might have been allies but now, they were destined to be enemies for all eternity. “She insisted on calling Mjolnir a mallet.”
Loki laughed out loud. “She knew. She was just being Athena. How did you get away without being skinned alive?”
Thor took a long drink from his glass and shrugged his shoulders. “She let me go,” he said.
“Just like that?” Loki asked, surprised.
“Just like that,” Thor agreed.
“That means that the element of surprise has been lost,” Loki told him very seriously. “The Olympians will be expecting us.”
“They cannot leave the mountain,” Thor reminded him. “I have a plan.”
“Yeah? What’s that?” Loki asked, motioning for the bartender to bring them another round of drinks.
Thor grinned but didn’t get a chance to tell Loki his idea, because the most enticing scent invaded his nose. It was one he would always remember, engraved into his memory like a rune on the tree of life. His briefs became uncomfortably tight as he breathed in that scent and those images of Athena in scant clothing and a pole jumped right back into his mind.
“I should’ve known I would find you in a trashy dive like this,” Athena said crossing her arms, looking at Thor pointedly.
“Woman!” Thor said, turning to look at her. “What are you doing here? You are not selling your parts, are you?”
Chapter Five
“Are you fucking stupid? I followed you down here to kick your ass, but now it’s just not worth it,” Athena looked at him with utter disdain, then turned on her heel and stormed out of the bar.
Thor watched as Athena stomped away. Oh, how he loathed the woman, but her scent—he could not get that tantalizing aroma to leave him. An idea began to form in his mind as he continued to watch her retreating, heart shaped backside. If he could gain her trust and make her want him, it would give him access to Ares. Although Athena was his enemy, Thor knew he could woo her, he was the God of Thunder after all. Women loved him. It might take a little work on his part, but in the end, he knew he would have her in his bed and she would fall madly for him.
Thor stood from his seat and looked to Loki. “I must take my leave,” he said turning toward the door.
“What’s the rush? You only just arrived. We have plans to discuss.” Loki said.
“I have urgent matters to attend to.” Thor replied and abruptly walked toward the door without a backwards glace, so he didn’t see the slight smile on his brother’s face.
Thor rushed down the sidewalk in an attempt to catch up with Athena. He wasn’t exactly sure what he would say to her, but he knew he could make her fall for his charms. He just needed to be gentle with the woman. She was a tough one to crack, that he knew, but if he used his sexual prowess that would surely turn her head. No woman could resist that.
As he continued to run several blocks, Athena was nowhere to be found. Thor stopped and turned to look around, thinking that maybe she was hiding from him. Did she know he followed behind? But then again, she was no woman to hide, she had said so herself.
A familiar voice startled him from behind. It was the tall lanky, blonde man from the happy gay bar who had dragged him inside. “I see you’re still out and about, Pixie.” The man said, his blue eyes scanning Thor’s unchanged attire as he lit a cigarette.
“I’m looking for my woman—not my woman, a woman. And not just any woman. That woman. That infuriating woman. Have you seen her?" Thor asked in a rush.
“I see.” The man dragged out. “A woman, huh? What does this ‘infuriating’ woman look like? And is she angry?” he asked, raising a perfectly arched brow.
“She is a long-legged, blonde goddess. How could you miss her?” Thor asked, getting more frustrated by the minute. “I don’t know if she is angry. I can never tell with her.” He knew if he didn’t make haste, Athena would be long gone and his search might take days.
“Not exactly my cup of tea, but no I haven’t seen a woman matching that description unless she’s one of our queens,” the man replied looking at Thor curiously. “And another thing, if a woman walks away from you in anger, it’s best if you give her time to cool down. Women and their tempers.” the man gave him a knowing smile, then took a drag from his cigarette.
“You are correct. Women can get very angry,” he agreed, deflating a little, then continued, “I wasn’t aware Midgard still had humans carrying the title of kings and queens,” Thor looked at him with a bewildered expression.
The man rolled his eyes. “Never mind. Do you have a change of clothes? You’ve already been mistaken for an entertainer once tonight,” the man said gesturing toward Thor's cape and leather underwear.
Thor growled and threw his hands out to his sides in frustration. “Why do people keep saying I’m gay? I am Thor, the God of Thunder. Not homosexual. Happy. Not gay,” he said articulating each word. He thought maybe the nice young man had fallen from the stage one too many times.
“Sure you are, buddy. I’m Cody, by the way, but my friends call me by stage name, Candy,” he stuck his hand out and Thor shook what was offered.
“Candy? What kind of name is Candy for a man of your stature? I just do not understand you humans,” Thor shook his head and looked baffled.
“Okay, we need to talk about social norms," Cody said, then continued, "Obviously, there are things you don’t understand about homosexuals; what’s acceptable and what’s not. Let’s get you home and discuss it along the way,” Cody took Thor’s arm and began walking him down the street.
Legends and Heroes_War of the Gods Page 3