What bothered Moss the most, though, was the idea that Vane might be suffering and Moss couldn’t do anything about it. It wasn’t even necessarily because of Moss’s strange attraction toward the bloodkin. He just didn’t like to see anyone suffering from pain and loss. Or so he told himself. He suspected that again, he might be trying to fool himself in that regard, but his own confused emotions didn’t matter so much right now. Vane was the one in pain.
“If there’s anything I can do to help…” he said slowly. “I know we’ve only just met, but I—”
He didn’t get to finish the phrase, as Vane released a heavy sigh and made his way to Moss’s side. The bloodkin took Moss’s hand and sat down on the couch, pulling Moss with him. Moss landed in Vane’s lap, which would have been a very interesting place to be, if not for the glum circumstances.
“Contrary to what Benson might think, I don’t need to talk about it,” Vane argued. His hand tangled in Moss’s hair, kneading Moss’s scalp. “Bloodkin don’t linger on that type of pain.”
“Well, maybe not on the pain,” Moss said carefully, “but the loss is still there. Surely you must miss them.” Moss would have suggested describing them, but Vane had already said he didn’t want to do that, so that would be prodding.
As it turned out, Vane showed far more openness than Moss had expected. His arms came around Moss, embracing him tightly. “You’re right,” he said. “I do miss them. I miss the way things used to be.”
Vane didn’t say anything more, and Moss chose to keep his mouth shut. He did notice that Benson had disappeared while Moss had been distracted, but that was really irrelevant. What mattered was the way Vane held Moss, like he was precious to him, something to be valued.
They didn’t speak, but they did hold on to each other. And that night, when Vane fed from him again, Moss could no longer deny what he’d instinctively felt in his heart. Bloodkin or not, Vane was a man he could easily fall for.
* * * *
“What in the world were you thinking, Kier?” Vane glared at his longtime friend furiously. “A commemoration of my father’s death? Did you like him so much and I accidentally missed it?”
Kier grimaced. “I didn’t dislike him. He and your mother were the ones who hated me. But that doesn’t matter anymore. I know you, Vane, and I respect your pain. And don’t forget, I lost something, too, back then.”
Vane couldn’t really bring himself to remain angry with Kier when he was reminded that Kier always did his own private mourning, and not only around this date. “I just wish you hadn’t involved Moss,” he mumbled.
“He’s good for you, Vane, and he likes you. Stop hiding behind your ridiculous notions and open your eyes. You dream together.”
Kier’s continuous involvement in Vane’s love life irritated him. “And what would you know of it? You’re not exactly a model for perfect relationships.”
Kier recoiled as if he’d been slapped. Vane cursed himself for even mentioning it, but it was too late to take the words back. For a few moments, they just stared at each other. “It looks like you’re in quite a mood today,” Kier finally said. “Do everyone a favor and talk to Moss. He’s probably worried about you.”
Without further ado, Kier turned on his heel and left. Vane plopped down on his chair and groaned. He really was on the edge. The reminder of his parents’ death hurt, but it wasn’t the only factor contributing to his temper. In fact, the most important issue in his life right now was a lovely human with deep-green eyes. Moss haunted his every waking moment. Vane was used to being in control, no matter what happened, but something about Moss shattered his every defense. Never in his life would he have imagined that he’d end up hugging a human he’d known for less than a week while seeking emotional comfort.
It was unlike him. All right, so Moss had many qualities. He seemed strikingly pure hearted, especially for someone who’d already suffered such disappointment in his life. But he was also so painfully gorgeous and so very eager to please it made Vane’s cock ache.
Vane had told himself over and over that this need for Moss must strictly be connected to the fact that he’d never had a “bed and breakfast” who didn’t provide “bed” services. It was the novelty of being denied. But Vane had never been good at fooling himself. He was a realist. His urgency and increasing desperation obviously had something to do with not being able to bed Moss, but that didn’t explain why he’d found it so interesting to simply hold the human.
He had to be strong. He’d committed himself to keeping a platonic relationship between them, and he had to stick to that.
Vane was still musing over the likelihood of that happening when a knock sounded at the door. It was shy and discreet, and even without his advanced senses, Vane would have easily guessed who was his visitor.
“Come in,” he called out.
The door opened, and Moss slid inside, his expression guarded and earnest. “I’m sorry to bother you, Lord Bloodmoor, but I had some questions regarding the documents you provided.”
Vane looked at him, barely managing to rein in his nearly irrational desire. “You’re not bothering me,” he said. “Please sit. I wanted to speak to you about something anyway.”
Moss hesitantly sat down on the seat in front of Vane’s desk. “Is there a problem?”
“About yesterday,” Vane began. “I apologize if I made you in any way uncomfortable. I didn’t mean to burden you with my problems or my past.”
Moss’s eyes widened. “Oh, you didn’t discomfit me. In fact, I’m flattered you chose to trust me.”
Great. How could Vane tell him now that he had no plans to repeat the event? It would be terrible of him, but he had no choice. “Yes, well, I assure you it won’t happen again. You’re my secretary, and your main job isn’t to coddle or comfort me.”
Moss stared at him with those wide green eyes. “I understand,” he finally said. “Again, it was no bother, but I would never want to presume anything.”
His voice trembled a little, and Vane found himself getting up and going around the desk. He knelt in front of the chair and gripped Moss’s chin, forcing the human to face him. What was he doing? He had no clue.
He desperately wanted to kiss Moss, to feast on his blood, but also on his pleasure. Their gazes locked and held, and Vane found himself leaning closer. What would it be like to take Moss into his bed? He could do it. Moss wouldn’t refuse him. Moss wanted him. He could tell.
But a few days earlier, Moss hadn’t even known him. He’d come here seeking for employment and had almost refused Vane’s offer due to his understandable anxious attitude toward bloodkin.
In truth, very little had changed since that day. Moss and Vane still had a contract, one binding both of them to a certain type of behavior. For Moss’s own good, Vane wouldn’t break it.
Releasing the human, Vane pulled away. “You said you had a question about the documents,” he said. “What can I help you with?”
Moss blinked, as if snapping out of a daze, but then found his voice. “Indeed. I’ve found that certain individuals seem to be taking advantage of your trust in them. If I’m right in regard to this, they’re manipulating your finances.”
The human’s outrage amused Vane a little. He couldn’t say Moss wasn’t right to be angered by the deception, but usually, Vane was far too busy dealing with matters of life and death to handle minor squabbles like that.
Nevertheless, he didn’t appreciate being taken for a fool. “When you feel safe enough that you are correct in your assessments, feel free to address the people in question directly. You have my permission to handle the situation as you see fit.”
Moss opened his mouth, as if to say something, but seemed to change his mind at the last minute. “Is there anything else?” Vane prodded.
The human shook his head. “Not at the moment.” As he got up, he offered Vane a shy smile. “Thank you again for your trust in me. I won’t fail you.”
As Moss finally left Vane’s office, Vane imm
ediately felt his absence. He wondered what in the world he’d gotten himself into. Then, he pushed the thought out of his mind and tried to focus on work. If wherever he turned, he still saw those bright-green eyes staring at him, no one but him knew it. He’d just have to cling to his carefully cultivated discipline and make sure the things stayed that way.
* * * *
After his strange exchange with his employer, Moss struggled to obey Vane’s words and focus on his job. It didn’t work out as well as he’d have liked. In the back of his mind, he kept thinking of what had happened and what it meant.
Perhaps he shouldn’t have been dwelling on one night and one embrace, but he couldn’t help it. He recalled the heat of Vane’s embrace, and a whole different type of warmth invaded him, one that had nothing to do with comfort.
But it was very hard to remain objective and keep his mind on the job when, every day, Moss had to feed Vane. It was a very erotic experience, more than Moss had ever expected. In fact, whenever Vane’s fangs pierced his skin, he could imagine far too easily what it would be like if he’d agreed to Vane’s original suggestion.
Still, the entanglements of Vane’s finances kept him busy for a few hours. But as the hour grew late, it was soon time for dinner, both for Vane and for Moss.
Frustratingly, Vane didn’t join Moss in the dining room. Moss ate alone, with only Benson hovering about. Once he finished his meal, he couldn’t keep his mouth shut and eventually asked the butler, “Is everything all right with His Lordship?”
“Quite all right,” Benson replied placidly. “He’s just a little moody today. If you’ll take my advice, you’ll ignore his occasional snappishness.”
Moss couldn’t help a small smile. “Why? It’s charming.”
Benson’s eyes widened. “Is it? Don’t tell him that, or he’ll just get worse.”
“What are you telling Moss about me?” a familiar voice sounded behind Moss. Moss turned and predictably saw Vane walking into the living room.
“Nothing that isn’t the truth,” Benson replied. Moss had the strangest feeling, as if there was a strange, hidden tension between the two.
Vane walked to his butler’s side and squeezed his shoulder. He didn’t say anything, but it seemed Benson understood what the bloodkin was trying to convey. The tension seemed to drain from his body, and he nodded. “I’ll leave you to your privacy. Goodnight.”
As the butler left the dining room, Moss’s dilemmas over his strange behavior vanished as Moss realized the moment had come for him to feed Vane. He clutched the armrest of his seat, hoping he would not disgrace himself by asking for something Vane wasn’t willing to give.
Damn it, he couldn’t even understand himself anymore. What did he truly want? To be with Vane? No, no, that was foolish and irrational. He needed to get a grip, just like Vane had said.
With that in mind, he got up and faced Vane. “Would you like to have your meal now?”
It was surreal to make the offer, especially in such a formal way, yet another thing he’d never even dreamed could happen to him. It seemed almost as if Vane was a guest here, and Moss was offering him a snack or a drink.
“Yes,” Vane said, “if you’ve eaten well.”
“I have,” Moss replied. The food provided by the servants was always delicious and nourishing. Moss made it his business to remain in top health so that he’d be able to provide the service he’d been hired for.
With striking gentleness, Vane took Moss’s hand and led him out of the dining room. Moss felt even more aware of the bloodkin’s touch than ever before. He had so many questions, for himself, for Vane, even for Benson. But he didn’t dare speak, lest the spell of their togetherness be broken.
Vane took him in a smaller receiving room, one no one really used. It was quiet and dark, and Moss had the strangest feeling, like he and Vane were alone in the world. It wasn’t the first time Vane would bite him, but it didn’t really matter. For a brief moment, Moss actually wished only the two of them existed, so that they wouldn’t have to worry about different species and other people’s opinions. He shook that thought off, discarding it as foolish and irrational. That would never happen, and Moss didn’t even want it to. He still loved his family, especially his younger siblings. And yet, for some reason, in only a couple of days, Vane had come to mean a lot to him.
In the end, dwelling on it wouldn’t help. It was all too sudden, which was why he felt confused and puzzled. He needed to give it a little time, to get accustomed to Vane and his new life at the bloodkin’s side. Perhaps in time, he’d figure out the reality behind this strange chemistry both of them were trying to deny.
Until then, Moss would do his job and his duty, as per his contract. He sat down on the couch, and Vane took position next to him. Moss’s heart thundered as Vane took his hand and slowly tilted his head.
For some reason, Moss found himself closing his eyes. Perhaps he was expecting a kiss. It didn’t come, not in a human way in any case. Instead, Vane buried his fangs in Moss’s throat, and sharp pleasure-pain burst through Moss.
Gasping, he leaned against Vane, gripping the bloodkin’s shoulders blindly. He was burning, screaming, dying, flying, the suction against his neck deliciously agonizing. Before Moss could even figure out what he was doing, he climbed into Vane’s lap and started to grind his ass against Vane’s dick.
It wasn’t exactly something easy to do, what with Vane holding on to his neck like that, but Moss could be very resourceful when he wanted to, and he managed. He was rewarded when Vane released a little growl of desire, his hand tightening around Moss’s waist as he rubbed his hard cock into the crease of Moss’s ass.
The barriers of clothing were frustrating, yet irrelevant. Even through the material, Vane’s hand sent shivers down Moss’s spine. He heard himself crying out, but he couldn’t quite tell what he was saying.
He was so close, so very close to achieving something, something he hadn’t even known he’d needed. And then, out of the blue, the mind-numbing sensations stopped. Vane released his hold on Moss’s neck and licked the wound. Moss opened his eyes and blinked, his head still whirling. “Vane?” he asked, his voice husky, rough like sandpaper.
Vane’s eyes were filled with inscrutable shadows as he pushed Moss off his lap. He did so gently, almost excruciatingly so. “Thank you, Moss,” Vane said. “That will be all for tonight.”
Moss’s face burned with embarrassment. “Yes, Your Lordship,” he said. “Good evening.”
And with that, Moss fled. If he wanted to get accustomed to living with Vane, he certainly wasn’t doing a very good job at it.
* * * *
The next day
Soft, but insistent lips pressed against his own, claiming him, devouring him. Moss leaned in closer, inhaling the wild, familiar scent of the man he craved. No, not the man. The bloodkin. At last, Vane was there, in his embrace, branding Moss with his passion. There were no more doubts now. Moss was completely lost in Vane’s caresses, in their shared desire and lust.
As Vane swept his hands over Moss’s naked skin, Moss writhed under him, begging for more. Vane’s wicked fingers trailed over his sides, lingered over his nipples, tweaking and pinching. He reached between their bodies and gripped Moss’s hard cock, rubbing his thumb over the leaking tip.
It was too good, so good it should have scared Moss. It didn’t. He couldn’t remember how to be frightened, and he wanted this. He’d wanted it from the very first moment they’d met. Even the knowledge that they were so different hadn’t changed Moss’s mind.
Vane, however, seemed to disagree. At the last moment, just as Moss was about to reach climax, Vane broke their kiss and pulled away. “What?” Moss asked, dazed. “Vane, what’s wrong?”
“You’re human. You’ll never be what I need.”
Moss tried to reach for his lover, but Vane shied away. “You’re wrong. I don’t know a lot about bloodkin, or about sexuality, but I can learn.”
Vane could have been a statue for
all the effect Moss’s words had on him. “You’re human. You’ll never be what I need.”
Moss opened his mouth to say something else, to insist and convince his lover that everything would be all right. It was futile. Vane didn’t give him the chance. Instead, before Moss could even speak, the bloodkin once more said that previous, damnable phrase. “You’re human. You’ll never be what I need.”
Over and over, he parroted the words, until Moss’s head whirled, not with pleasure, but with self-disgust. He wanted so badly to be what Vane needed, but he was a failure, an absolute and utter failure.
The ache of it got so horrible, so intense that Moss snapped his eyes shut and screamed. He half expected Vane to keep speaking those awful phrases, to forever sentence him to a life of inadequacy. But all of a sudden, Vane stopped. Moss looked up, only to realize Vane was nowhere to be seen.
Moss groaned. Another dream, although this one had been very different. Usually, when Moss dreamt about Vane, he fell into an erotic wonderland. To this day, Moss didn’t understand it. Some of the peculiar things Vane did to him in those fantasies were unlike anything Moss had seen before, even in books. He had no clue how he could have come up with them.
Tonight’s nightmare, though, was easy to explain. His subconscious was telling him what Moss had known all along, that he and Vane were a terrible match. And yet…Moss couldn’t quite bring himself to let go of that small part of him, the part that desperately desired for Vane to touch him.
With a sigh, Moss pushed off the blanket and left the bed. Back home, he’d have gone for a walk to clear his head, but here, he was reluctant to bother the other occupants of the house. Home. Did he even have one now? Elmya could no longer qualify, and his current lodgings were provided merely as a payment for his services and convenience of his employer.
Bed and Breakfast [Bloodkin 1] (Siren Publishing Classic ManLove) Page 8